hey guys, how is everyone doing? i feel like im about to break. like i want to cry but i can't. i feel like a branch that's being bent and is at the breaking point. oh well, i hope you all are doing well.
>>27640554
I'm not, the stress of life is snowballing on me and part of me wants out because it feels so hard to continue on, but I don't want to die just yet
>>27640554
I haven't seen my gf in two weeks and it's killing me. I'm getting jealous for the first time, I miss her like crazy and I feel like I'm going to fucking lose it unless I see her soon. I still have another week before I get to see her though.
>>27640554
I'm not addicted to alcohol yet, but I drink almost every night and I am going to get my liver ultrasound on Wednesday. Lithium screwed my liver up, not alcohol, I'm too young for this shit.
>>27640590
i know how you feel man. just too much shit going on at one time, and everyone expecting you to be a perfect person.
>>27640635
honestly im too lazy and sad to get mad that you have a gf and browse r9k. i know how you feel though. back in the day when i was somewhat social i could have gotten a girlfriend (maybe), and it was always a pain when i couldn't see the girl i had deep feelings for. hang in there buck-o you'll make it
>>27640643
i turned to alcohol for about 3 months. it ended pretty badly. i drank whiskey mostly (about 5-7 shots night), and never got anything accomplished except finishing some anime series, which was nice. after a really bad experience on this past 9/11 i decided i wasnt allowed to go near alcohol for a long time. it's the only thing i've ever had the will to see through. but i can hear the bottle calling for me again.
>>27640734
Thanks man, appreciate the kinds words and the lack of "normie get out" posts. What about you, man, what's going on with you?
>>27640865
just life in general. school, no friends, no social life, parents disappointed im not an engineer anymore, can't figure out how to do taxes. it just adds up ya know? and i can't stop, because if i stop working then i wont get anywhere in life, because that's how society is now. i always have to be applying for new jobs or internships or co-ops or try and find tutoring jobs, just so i can get a better job in the future. on top of that im supposed to find a girlfriend to marry and have kids so my mother's fantasy of having grandkids can be fulfilled. sounds like im just a pussy who cant handle what's required as the bare minimum of life, but i guess im just too weak willed for it. oh well, such is life
>>27640554
I've been crying a lot lately, OP. I keep lying in bed and staring at the ceiling trying to guess where the bannister is. I feel like my short life is already dwindling to an end. Suicide has been steadily creeping into the forefront of my mind for years now and I think this is the year I do it.
I spent the entire afternoon and night tonight crying because I was remembering how my dad used to come in and tell me how I'd "always have the rising sun in my room, even on my darkest days" when I was having a rather bad day with my depression. The "sun" was a WWII era Japanese "Rising Sun" flag he got for me. It was originally in homage to my fascination with WWII, but it became a symbol of hope for me.
We don't talk anymore. I live with him, but he started to get mean, you know, as dads do. He started to abuse me as I got older, and eventually I started fighting back.
Now we kind of coexist. My mom told me she is so sorry for everything.
I threw the flag away today, and now I am here, in this thread, posting my "Anonymous Letter" to my mom
>pic related
And crying like a fucking little bitch.
I hope, even in your sadness, you are doing far superior to me, OP, and everyone else.
i hope you feel better anon what is overwhelming you at this time and why dont you smoke some weed to relax?
>>27641046
sorry to hear all that man. my dad turned to an ass when i dropped engineering for history. he didn't really get mad, just really disappointed and distant. my mom on the other hand has been supportive, even though she knows i'll probably just wind up living with them after college (if i even finish it). makes me kind of glad that i managed to move out, just so i dont have to deal with their disappointed gazes.
now, im not going to be some faggot and try and talk you out of suicide by saying that "oh, there's so much to life that you havent experienced" like people tell me. i've been suicidal for a while as well (about 2 years), and the only reason i havent killed myself yet is....i dont really know.
i suggest you give it one more shot though. drop everything, scrape up your measly savings and find an apartment on your own. get a shit job, and work your way up to shit job manager. and if by then you are still feeling suicidal then off yourself. if you can't find happiness with your family, or by trying to make something of yourself then it really isnt worth it.
best of luck, cheers man
>>27641158
thanks man. ive turned to alcohol in the past, and smoked weed a couple of times. honestly weed does not do much for me, except time dilation. time dilation fucked me up for a bit one night. it was too weird. at this point though, im just going to wait another year until i can buy my own booze and become the alcoholic i've always dreamed of
>>27641158
also refer to>>27640986 for my little life story/rant thing. dont feel like typing it all back out
>>27641207
Thank you, anon.
I was going to try that with my oneitis (she's a Robot unknowingly), but her mom stepped in to pay for it and my shitty CC gave me a year full-ride on top of what I am doing to go, so I lost that opportunity.
She's going across the state (think huge state, like a quarter of Texas, four corners state) and I'm stuck up North while she's gone for four years.
I will do what you say, though, anon. I mean, there is literally nothing I can lose from just trying to scrape by.
When I kill myself, you will know.
I'm doing a special suicide treat for /r9k/.
>>27641331
sounds good man. keep chasing that girl, you never know what'll happen. if there's one thing i do know, it's that this world is pretty fucked up, but also unpredictable. you may be walking down the street and run into some bill gates motherfucker and he'll offer to make you some CEO of a fortune 500 company. just give it one last little push man. otherwise, see you on the other side
>>27640554
well everyone I am off. for any people who stumble across this humble thread i leave you with the plea to remember to be nice to the people who post in this thread. no bullying or name calling. this thread is for comfy feels only. I, the humble OP bid you all a farewell.
>>27640554
One of your regulars seems to be having some kind of issue and he keeps blocking and removing me on everything. Whenever I ask him about it he apologizes and said he only did it because he was feeling scared and weak and could not help himself. He just keeps doing it, second time this week.
What the fuck have you been teaching him?
