Heya /r9k/. Finally had myself invited to my first ever party that's to be full of other 18 year olds.
Are there some former Chads roaming about that can tell me:
>how to not screw this up
>when and how much to drink to escape my autism
>better my image in front of my oneitis, and potentially get laid
>and basically, how to avoid being the pasty loser at the side like we seen in the movies.
T-thanks!
>>27634452
If you think you should do isomething, then do it.
Also don't fuck a really drunk girl, it's so easy to get fucked up on bs rape charges now. Make sure they're somewhat sober.
Let your instincts take over and have fun.
>>27634452
I got invited (I actually asked the girl hosting to be invited) to my first party at 16yo, a few hours in and I had to take a massive smelly dump, when I finished there were already people waiting in line and all I could muster was "pheeew".
Needless to say every Chad and Stacey made fun of me afterwards for the whole year. Thanks for reminding me OP.
wrong board underage retard
>>>/adv/
>>27634452
Just stand in the corner with a drink and your hand and look cool. Observe what others doing and after your analysis is complete, blend in with the pack and do as they do or else they will sniff you out and sacrifice you after raping you.
>>27634452
I've been to a silvestre party once because my brother took me with him. It's pretty simple:
-make jokes, but dont talk too much, generally: Think about what you say, if its good, say it, if its bad, dont do it. (Imagine you're mute, srsly)
-if you do make jokes, DO NOT MAKE JOKES ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
I know, I know, it's quite good feelin to complain about what your stupid parents did wrong and it may be amusing, but in the long run you seem like an bad person that complains too much.
Also, no shitty endless streaks of simple jokes (Whats green and red when you push a button? A frog in a mixer. (DONT DO THESE))
-talk to people, after a while go talk to someone else. Look what people are doing and ask to join in.
Dont stand in the corner and beta around.
-drink a bit but remember that you're getting more ADHD over time the more you drink, so concentrate on not talking more when you drink more.
-talk to oneitis if theres a chance, dont pursue an enlarged conversation.
-IF A SITUATION STARTS TO GET SILENT, DONT TRY TO MAKE NOISE AND RATHER JUST GO OR ASK TO DO SOMETHING ELSE
-Dont follow Oneitis if she goes somewhere else, rather go to the boys
Basic common sense, ask me if smth is unclear
>>27634452
I went to a party once
I didn't get it
Haven't been to a party since
>>27634537
>If you think you should do isomething, then do it.
Litterally ever advice I've ever been bestowed, especially by my dad when I was 13 and he still cherished some hope that I would be invited to parties. But I don't exactly see how it works? By doing all that passes through your head, you're certainly having fun, and entertaining people, but most of it is at your expense. Whenever you're actually already popular, being "stoopid and acting dumb" shows that "aw Chad shows that he can make fun of himself", but when you're aspiring to become popular, being an idiot only makes you the party clown that's just there to have people laugh at him. But if you say so anon. I can't exactly knock it before I try it.
And
>let your instincts take over
Breh, I'm loving your advice and it certainly works on 99% of the populace, but my only true instincts are to stay and hide under my blankets. Will getting wasted grant me better instincts though?
>>27634610
>full of other 18 year olds
I mean
>>27634682
Fair fair! This helps a bunch, but sadly, there are some advices that'll never apply to me. I can't exactly "make conversation" with others, and from that, I'm pretty sure you'll understand why I've failed to be invited to any party beforehand, as I'm pretty much the ultimate bore to around with. (In this case, I'm only invited because I know the guy that's preparing it, and he has already explicited anyways that I'm only invited so that I can clean up the trash when the party is over). Hence why for what of I'll have to say in this thread, it'll be about alcohol because I genuinely believe that that can loosen my tongue and get me more talking. Trust me,
I'm actually in a good of ADHD.
Otherwise, I feel like I'd pretty much follow the rest of your advice from, as you say, common sense, but I'll screenshot them anyways to not forget. Thanks :3!!
>>27634682
Not OP but that's pretty spot on. Just make sure you don't just start blathering on, don't be afraid to talk to people (it is a party after all), and don't be creepy around the girls.
As far as the girls know you are a bad ass mofo who don't give a fuck about pussy cause he gets it all day. Don't give them any reason to belive you're not.
Don't be a dick.
Be cool, calm, chill.
You don't care man. It's just a party ;)
>>27634602
Erm, my pleasure you poor anon :c. Thanks for the bumb though. How ever can I make it up to you?
So note to self, shit before you party?
>>27634816
Also the moment you feel like you might be getting too drunk STOP DRINKING! Carry a cup with something non alcoholic in it. And tell no one that you have stopped drinking for the night.
>>27634452
Advice:
If you are not on terms with anyone and are uncomfortable with them, dont go. It'll only get worse
If you dont know them feel free to get drunk and do as you please. If you're anxious just frequently go for a drink and leave the house for a while at will. Laugh at what the normies say and CAREFULLY put insight in a topic you master if it arises.
Act natural with the girls. If you're afraid think of them as scum and treat them as if they were family.
It's ok to admit you're autistic or a fuckup. Self-pity is a number 1 amusement topic for the normies. In their eyes, when you admit to something you're a better person for it.
>>27634816
I'll do my best to seem indifferent I suppose then. That said, I could refer you to my other replies where I already make it clear that solely indicating "chat people up" doesn't work on me, since I happen to usually be the biggest bore to others. I'll probably resort to tagging along with the group of people I'll know best, but I am quite sad about the prospect of embarrassing them by being in their presence.
When is "too drunk" though? I want to not care anymore.
>>27634687
You shouldn't be allowed to post on 4chan unless you are over 25.
18 year old kids today are more like 11 year old children, mentally.
Your thread is cancer, fuck off and die.
Party chad here. Do you look good ?
I just talk to them like they are a child or something like hi how are you, whats your name and shit. Then when she is close and looks at you and doesnt talk just go in for it. You just get to have the balls to go in for it.
Advice belongs on >>>/adv/
fuck off
>>27634874
>admit you're autistic or a fuckup. Self-pity is a number 1 amusement topic for the normies. In their eyes, when you admit to something you're a better person for it.
Hah, I already have basically wielded self-depreciation as my main source of humor, and it's let people on about how utterly hopeless I am. Even here, I'm only being invited because the host knows I'm desperate for it, and has bargained with me that I clean up his house once the party's over. I can't tell yet if he meant that in a jokeful manner or not though. He's usually a chill guy.
And in the patterns you're reccomending for me, I see a lot of what I already do for university reflected. I'm usually that quiet guy, there to appraise them by laughing at everything, and once in a while butting in for topics I know a bit about.
As for the girls, meh, I'm actually as them of them as I am for guys. I don't care that girls will reject me, because that's already something I've accepted, but its more that I don't want to annoy both boys and girls by being a boring little shit that forces them into a conversation with me.
>>27634920
dumbass, no one cares what you think the age limit should be. It's 18, don't be a retard claiming underaged when he's clearly not
>>27634920
K.
(Original). (Original).
>>27634949
I don't know. Rated 7/10 at times?
But this'll mostly be girls I'm confronted to yearlong, and I don't expect to see too many new faces. I do agree though with the feature of treating them interiorly, and almost infantilizing them. If ever I can become a /fit/izen, keep my average or so looks, and stay at around 6', that's how I'll start treating them.
>>27634816
>>27634914
Oh fuck, forgot:
GRILLES:
THIS IS LIFE ADVICE ANONS
YOU DO NOT WANT THE PUSSY
that's what your mindset shall be.
If you talk to a girl, your intent should be to have an conversation about a topic you cant talk about with guys, nothing more.
REALLY IMPORTANT
Srsly, if you talk to girls normally, they will like you. They like you now, whats next you ask?
NOTHING. You shouldnt aim for anything but a good conversation and a fun time. If anything develops, let it happen. But do not ask for it, do not try to force it, do not seek out for it.
I'm asexual and I only seek for grilles to cuddle with them, and last time I met with grille she dry humped me and tried to kiss me on the lips.
It was fucking horrifying for me.
What can we learn from that: Even if you dont fucking want it (and weight 110KG (at that point)), you get it eventually.
What else: People trying to force something like sex or kissing onto someone else are horrifying.
Just imagine you were a girl and a boy touched your vagoo and wanted to fuck you even through you're a baptist and know you're going to hell.
Does it feel good?
Do you like the guy now?
NO.
If you weren't blessed with good genes then don't even fucking bother
>>27635046
Wow you're such a sorry fuckup
You can be a loser but dont be a faggot. Go to that party, shit on that guys bed and never clean anything.
You can piss on the shampoo bottle.
Otherwise dont go. Never beg for mercy or attention.
Cleaning his house in exchange for an invitation... jesus fuck....
>>27635209
This is the sad truth.
Genes or money, and genes are always superior.
>>27635164
>If you talk to a girl, your intent should be to have an conversation about a topic you cant talk about with guys, nothing more.
>REALLY IMPORTANT
>Srsly, if you talk to girls normally, they will like you. They like you now, whats next you ask?
>NOTHING. You shouldnt aim for anything but a good conversation and a fun time. If anything develops, let it happen. But do not ask for it, do not try to force it, do not seek out for it.
Screenshotted anon!
That said, I do sadly feel that I have to make my intentions known. These are some people I've known for some time, and I have this theory that some people may suspect that I'm gay because they've never known me to have a girlfriend, and because I rejected the offers of like 3 girls when I was 13, and have had no offers since. So I do feel that I have to assert that I'm interested in girls, and dispel this myth that I'm gay if there is one, without being unsubtle about it.
Also
>my country
>girls not being sluts
>>27635215
The guy is nice. I'll also be arriving in advance to let him prepare things, so mayhaps we can use those 30 solitary minutes to bond?or I can use them to suck his dick desu
But I think I'm not going to be the only one to clean up. There's lots of other people that have already promised they'd also stay to help clean. I don't feel too beta about all this.
My general advice is if you are worried, rather than trying to start new conversations maybe just try and give examples of things happening which are related to whatever other people are talking about then you can have your moment and seem funny without having to worry if people are going to interested in that subject and just kinda agree a lot and pretend you relate etc its how I do it and I get told at parties I pass for a normie usually
>>27635416
Hmm like so?
>haha heard that Jessica has a new boyfriend, but he's like Indian wtf?
And I'd but in to say
>well I had once knew a girl that dated an Indian guy, and blablabla
Like I'm basically there to consolidate their conversation by poshing it up with my random examples? Seems fine by me, and as long as it won't require me to take a side.
get sauced but dont drink too much or youll puke.
Dont do a keg stand.
Chat with people, dont sit around by yourself, etc.
Bring some weed and smoke with people- if you cant roll someone else will know how.
Dont be creepy and follow bitches around
make sure you have a way of getting home
Dont get there too early
Im curious, what kind of party is it? Normie/chad party or loser/ fag party?
>>27635308
I'm permanently mentioning that I find boys cute, have long hair, and in that case especially, have outed myself as trans, regularily talk about nail polish and makeup with her and mention that I like cute clothes.
(She dislikes it strongly btw, she wants me to be straight and cis)
In my whole social area I'm the gayest fucking person.
Also, my country is Germany, so..
(wew lad that was completely irrelevant but now I'd feel bad for deleting it.)
Uhm, yeah, advice..
basically:
Whats wrong with her thinking you're gay?
What's wrong with her thinking you're not interested?
Most guys always want sex and "an official relationship" (and most underage people buy into that concept aswell).
RELATIONSHIPS ARE A GRADUAL THING
You're clearly still aiming for the pussy.
If she's your Oneitis, you should feel joy from simply talking to her and spending time with her.
Why not aim for that, why not do that?
srsly, its better. And if you get closer, over time every misconception will get solved anyways.
>>27634452
be confident. Have a lot more self confidence, a bit more sarcasm, be slightly more aggressive and a lot more independent.
If you want to better your image in front of your oneitis, quit acting like she's the only woman for you. There's hundreds, if not thousands of women you can fuck at any given time of the day because you're worth money.
Learn to socialize, small talk, etc one step at a time before going for big money. If odds are you don't have self confidence nor the smarts to back yourself up yet, don't go big but just take it as your chance to make friends and see how far you've progressed.
Nobody likes desperate, clingy people essentially. Don't drink, especially if it will make you weird.
Don't be a creep, and if you weird someone out just apologize and say it.
Don't act out just to assert you aren't gay. If she's a woman you want, just tell her your feelings and see if she corresponds you or not. Regardless, get fucking moving. Take risks, make mistakes, go beyond what you are now and keep on fighting no matter how rough it gets.
>>27635547
>Also, my country is Germany, so..
>(wew lad that was completely irrelevant but now I'd feel bad for deleting it.)
Kek, as a Frenchie, it moves my heart to know how far our former Teutonic enemies have tarnished themselves. Stay cucked Allemagne.
>You're clearly still aiming for the pussy.
>If she's your Oneitis, you should feel joy from simply talking to her and spending time with her.
>Why not aim for that, why not do that?
And this is more in a "I need to ruin her before the other guys ruin her" logic, as I'm sure she'll eventually be chased after for being the only girl in the social girl to have remained a virgin, making her a potential prize for ill-minded people. It's selfish, but yeah that, and the fact that I don't want her to friendzone me from the start and therefore lose any shot at her getting a genuine attraction for me.
>>27635654
>If you want to better your image in front of your oneitis, quit acting like she's the only woman for you. There's hundreds, if not thousands of women you can fuck at any given time of the day because you're worth money.
Not the OP, but indeed, he should heed this a lot. Making some girls jealous, and on that same occasion, aware that you can be a sexual creature, is one of the best ways to get at them. You may not fuck your girl on that very night, but you'll already paved your way for making her your girlfriend soon enough. But like he says, don't ever idolize her.
>>27634920
>be +25 y/o
>post on 4chan.
Sad.
>>27635547
WHERE DO I FIND CUTE TRAPS IN EUROPE
>>27635677
You'll get friendzoned if you talk too much to her or do anything for her.
Remain friendly but NEVER let her use you.
Also, you should aim to be interesting for her.
How? No shit, figure that out yourself, Jaque.
There's not really much that I can say about this since I havent found the ultimate answer to this aswell, yet.
But I do know how you feel.
My Oneitis was a dick tho so most people never liked her. (By now we had a fight and havent talked for a year. It hurts.)
She's a virgin and sicne she's such an asshole she'll probably stay one until Tyrone gets really fucking drunk and rapes her in an dark alleyway.
(what I wanted to say: I can relate to that logic of yours, worrying you cant be the first to take her virginity)
I think the only thing I can tell you is that you shouldn't fixate yourself so much on this, since chances are p low anyways for our kind.
>>27634452
Just steal valuables that's what I would do.
>>27635748
>>quit acting like she's the only woman for you.
Godlike advice here.
She may be, but you shalt never show it if it's not relevant.
If she wants someone to hold her or care for her, you can act like it, but not all the time and not normally.
Also, don't try to make her jealous, you'll fail and just piss her off.
>>27635828
You can't.
Haven't found one myself.
You gotta make yourself one.
Grab a thin boy and give him manga to read until he gets bicurious, continue until he wears dresses for you.
>>27635903
Only leftists and Albanians do this.
Don't be an Albanian.
>>27635748
I like to think of it like this. Why are cats some of the most popular creatures?
Cats are stylish and graceful. They're independent and fickle; you don't know wether they'll like you or not. And everyone dreams of being the one guy or girl who gets to tame it and keep it.
Also, who fucking cares who takes whose virginity. Stop making it a big deal when it's not. If the girl I like has fucked 50 men before it's okay, if she hasn't fucked any it's okay as well. Just love them for who they are, sexually and personally and not as objects, and they'll love you back.
>>27635849
Jacques*
French isn't as simple and as ugly as german.
That said, thank you for admitting that you once were this obsessed by stupid details like I am now. Anyways, I wouldn't say there's even close a chance that she could emotionally exploit me, because a) this is only a crush thing, I only find her the cutest amongst this group of people, but these aren't either "I'd die for her" hardcore sentiments, and b) we hardly know each other yet, so I can't exactly be entrapped in a corrosive relationship of forced friendship. I actually avoid her a lot, for her not to learn to like her, since she could make fun of me for it.
I've only gotten invited to 2 parties, both of which were my at best friend's(former) house.
He is semi-popular that knows a lot of people.
What I've observed(story time):
>Chad was getting girls flocked around him when he was doing something stupid. Approx. 3-4. I was amazed.
>Everyone was in groups. If you don't know any of these people.
(bringing a friend is a must)
Otherwise GL pot up son.
>Had to socialize through mutual friends and aquintances. Only got so far as remnants of my aspieness still surfaced.
>I Didn't drink enough alcohol as I was still anxious to talk to women. Experience will obviously differ but I was a big guy.
>Was expecting to get laid by confidently talking to a drunk/buzzed girl.
>Left disappointed and almost robbed
>Bring some money for a cab or uber don't bother trying to bus ( perfect way to get lost and end up in a bad neighbourhood!)
>>27634452
I was just like you, 2 weeks ago I was invited to my first normie party. Lower your hopes, you won't be able to blend in with the normies, but you will see them for what they truly are. They will get drunk which will turn them into sluts and attention whores. no matter how nice that cute girl you like may seem, she'll be dancing like one of the stacies you see in the nightclubs on TV, with no dignity whatsoever. while screaming about how drunk she is and how hilarious it is that she's hugging everyone. It was after seeing this that I gave up all hope of blending in, as these normies, when """partying""" are so unlike you that they might as well be a different species.
>>27636041
Np Anon, and good luck.
Are you an 8/10+ male OP? Be honest. Because if you aren't, you're going to have to learn the hard way how parties work.
>>27636061
>no matter how nice that cute girl you like may seem, she'll be dancing like one of the stacies you see in the nightclubs on TV
Doesn't that just wreck your soul when you see that? When you find out that quiet girl that you thought was cute is no different than the rest? Yes even the quiet cute semi nerdy chick wants to get drunk then throat fucked by chad.
One main piece of advice I'd give as it's your first party, don't act surprised about anything that's going on. Don't question people, have a couple drinks and relax like you've seen it all before, it's nothing new to you.
Most fuckups come from over-analysing and getting stressed about nothing, so just pretend its where you're supposed to be and chill, it's supposed to be fun.
>>27636061
There is hope.
I have found true friends that dont require normie attention
My first party was the day after high school graduation as was my first experience drinking
>Drink some girly bottle drink, people I knew were surprised to see me drink, I was always the goofy sarcastic funny kid, who was mostly quiet so this was a shock to them
>End up out drinking everyone, pretty drunk, it was my first time but for some reason I could keep it together
>Guy tells me to go tell this stacie I'm friends with to make out with him
>Tell him to do it his self, was polite about it
>Try to be very careful when I piss, didn't know about breaking the seal rule, but was afraid to wake up pissing wherever I was to sleep
>Kiss everyone on the forehead and saying "Goodnight my sweet prince" or princess if it was a girl
>Drunker than everyone, but somehow was able to keep it together when I went to bed around 2:30-3 Although I kept making jokes about everyone in the room I was in, most people were in the garage, but they thought I had alcohol poisoning so took me inside, I was coherent to a point they just didn't know my drinking personality
>Wake up, have to go to more parties that morning, drive home hungover (Everyone kept asking how I felt, I modtly felt tired and no traces of a headache, I felt like I spent all day socializing, being an introvert it takes its toll, and only getting 3 hours of sleep) So I figured I had a super power being sable while getting drunk PLUS I remember everything so thats good.
Main thing is, be yourself I GUESS! I hate to be a chad here saying it, but It worked for me, but once you get liquored up its kind of hard not to, don't try to make out with anyone, IF YOU CAN HELP IT, it will come to you if you really have to.
Try not to piss on the floor, you'll be wobbly going to the bathroom, take your time, and wash your hands.
>>27634452
You may consider the advice I'll give you as trolling but I'm as normie as it gets, going out every weekend etc.
What you should do, especially if it's your first party with those people, is to get drunk enough not to care what you're doing.
Best case scenario, being very drunk will give you sort of a retarded charisma and confidence, and you might score with your oneitis.
Worst case scenario, you do something really stupid, make yourself look bad, but atleast you'll have a good story. Also, unless it's something extremely disgusting, us normies love stupid drunk shit so you'll probably be invited to another party.
Just be careful not to puke on anyone/anything other than a toilet. That shit is never tolerated.
>>27636709
>I could keep it together
>Kiss everyone on the forehead and saying "Goodnight my sweet prince" or princess if it was a girl
>they thought I had alcohol poisoning
>I was coherent to a point they just didn't know my drinking personality
>Everyone kept asking how I felt
>I figured I had a super power being sable while getting drunk
You didn't keep it together and you're not a chad.
As for OP, don't get drunk. Drink a little in the beginning as social lube but don't keep drinking. Getting wasted is the surefire way to miss out on pussy forever.
t. sociable virgin
>>27634452
>other 18 year olds.
I think I'm realizing more and more that this board is now populated by high school faggots.
>>27636872
What are you even talking about man?
>Getting wasted is the surefire way to miss out on pussy forever.
OP obviously has real problems talking to women and shit, alcohol can only help combat that. Worst case scenario, he'll be where he started but with a headache in the morning.
If you're not chad, at best you will drunkenly attempt to talk to a cute girl and she will pretend she doesn't hear you or look at you once, roll her eyes and walk away. That's best case scenario, worst case is you get humiliated in front of everyone. Chad types like to bully "inferiors" in front of girls.
>>27636898
>OP obviously has real problems talking to women and shit, alcohol can only help combat that. Worst case scenario, he'll be where he started but with a headache in the morning.
If you have little experience drinking, you should NOT try to get drunk. Being a wasted faggot is a huge turn off. Also if you are more sober than other people you have an advantage.
Trying to get wasted is the number one rookie mistake of alcohol. Being drunk is all about the pleasant buzz. But if you go too far, you'll feel bad and come over as obnoxious.
t. an alcoholic
>>27636935
That works when you're 14y old.
At 18y+, girls don't enjoy seeing Chads humiliate others, unless they're absolute trash that is.
Seriously, drinking can only help OP in this case. Sure, he needs to know his limits, but being abit annoying and drunk is better than being sober and boring as fuck.
>>27636956
>Also if you are more sober than other people you have an advantage.
While that may be true in some instances, I know for a fact it isn't true when he's at a fucking party surrounded by 18 year old teens.
Seriously, he's not going into a battle, he's going to a fucking party, and if he wants to leave a "good impression", it's more important not to be boring than not to be drunk.
To OP - don't get too wasted (no self control wasted), but don't stay sober man. You'll regret it.
>>27636545
Yes it does. It makes you feel stupid for fooling yourself into thinking that a real life girl that you know could fall outside the most basic stereotype of a stacy. However, at the same time, it's a very clear answer to the question of "is there any hope of finding a girl with somewhat similar interests to my own?" And that answer is no. It forces you to accept that this is what real girls are, so there's no point even developing the slightest crush on any of them.
>>27636635
I have friends, that's not really a problem. I can also function in a social situation with normies, its just a painful truth to see what disgusting attention whores they become when drunk. I have a couple of very close friends who have similar interests to me, so I know that you can find male friends who don't require normie attention, but women are a lost cause.
>>27636956
>if you are more sober than other people you have an advantage
Definitely not true. Drunk normies are incredibly good at picking out someone who doesn't blend in with a cried a drunk normies. They will immediately know that you don't belong, and sarcastically ask you if you're enjoying yourself, because unlike normal situations, you will stick out for NOT acting like a complete retard.
>>27637431
That might be true. I don't hang out with people who act like complete retards. I'm also not interested in picking up a girl at a party and having NSA sexual contact. I'm looking for a qt petootie gf which is why I'm still a kissless virgin.
>>27637487
>I don't hang out with people who act like complete retards
Doesn't matter, normal, decent people (male or female) turn into complete retards when drunk. They will keep reminding you that they're drunk, and likely keep showing you how much alcohol they've had, like you'll be impressed or something.
>not looking to pick up a girl
Good.
>looking for a gf
A party is the wrong place to do that. As I said in >>27636061 , seeing any girl you like, while she is drunk and acting like an attention whore slut, will force you to see that the idea of all normie girls being stacies (at least when drunk), is bang on the money. Women are absolutely insufferable when drunk, and you will only be able to look at that qt petootie, with a look of complete disgust, once you've seen what they're like then they're "partying" and "having fun". They are shameless, attention whoring sluts, and the idea of being in a relationship with one of these creatures suddenly seems to be completely impossible.
