Teach someone who never drank alcohol in his life how to pretend to be drunk via text/online.
I need it for attention-whoring purposes.
It is different for everyone. I know people who can type flawlessly while wasted.
Type messages more slowly and maybe apologize at some point for having had a bit much to drink. Sometimes leave minor errors and autocorrects unfixed. Dont go out of your way to make mistakes.
>>27631770
Also be exceptionally open and honest duo they have some bait to keep talking
>>27631770
How can one apologize for having a bit too much to drink if they normally don't drink at all
Make your messages really long and verbose.
Source: semi-alcoholic
The secret three step plan to emulating drunk texting PERFECTLY;
1.) Get drunk.
2.) Text.
3.) ???
Get some fortified wine and try it for yourself.
>>27631992
I don't know if drunk me will text what normal me wants to text, plus I don't want to experience getting drunk.
>>27632027
I'll drink with you anon. Just a few, maybe 3 or 4 cans?
You can do it.
>>27632074
I-I hate the taste of alcohol anon...
>>27632027
OP. Just get drunk.
Fuck emulating it. By emulating it, if you did it well enough, you might as well just be drunk. What's the point in faking it if you know what you want from it?
Why no drinks anyway? Not judging you personally, but everyone I know who doesn't drink or do any drugs act like they want a gold star or something.
Do you think your skeleton will thank you for staying clean after you're dead? Just try it dude.
>>27632089
We'll do it together then? I've only been drunk once before though.
Here take this fap material
>>27632100
I just don't like the taste anon.
>>27632134
the taste is obviously not the point in getting drunk
>>27631694
Skew your text around.
Use letters that are close to each other on keyboards.
Use many emotes.
a good example:
Hwllo hiw arw ypu
>>27632198
>Hwllo hiw arw ypu
NOT A GOOD EXAMPLE DESU
That's shit and obviously overdoing it, try
>hello hiw are yu oing??
>>27632134
Well I don't particularly like drinking either (but I do it anyway to get drunk lol).
You gotta learn how to do it correctly if you ever want to enjoy it because people start drinking and then drown a whole case to themselves in like 4 hours and then feel horrible.
Just drink mixed drinks then anon.
>JD and coke cans
>premixed cocktails
>alcopops
All are very tasty ways of getting drunk without the overpowering alcohol taste.
My point, though, is that you SHOULD experience being drunk, even if you don't like it. Are you not interested in exploring other states of conciousness?
Do some LSD too
>>27632212
>>27632198
Overkill
Try:
>hio how are you??
OR just have some beers and try to actually type normally.
Text the first thing that comes to mind, don't think twice about it. This is how it goes when drunk except when sober your inhibitions stopt you from saying what you want to say.
Doesn't matter how offensive or awkward it might sound just get it out.
Put HAHAHA after every third word
blurt out anything that comes to mind and be an asshole
>tfw never make typos but say the stupidest shit while drunk
>>27632274
HAHAHA yeah exactly, this is a good one desu.
As someone else said, just type without thinking. Thinking about what you said is the job for tomorrow-you.
text pseudo-intellectual stuff to the wrong person in the middle of the night
>>27631723
I can, I just usually don't because otherwise people assume i'm sober and push responsibility onto me. I know this because I once had to walk a dog while completely wasted on red wine at sunset. It was actually incredibly peaceful and awesome at the time, but their dog almost got run over, so I learned that I shouldn't do anything vaguely important while drunk.
>>27632134
you learn to like it. Take it from me, Vodka didn't use to taste of anything other than nasty, now it is crisp, warm and refreshing. Like a cold drink that warms you up and entertains you, somehow.
>>27632027
Write a list down of what you want to text. Like the main idea of the point you want to make.
Then get drunk, and then follow the basic guideline of what you wrote down.
Sorted.
>>27632212
>>27632198
You fuckers don't text and drink often, do you? >>27632260 has it right, you're subtle. Make it appear you're having very slight difficulty. but dont draw it out. Later, when you're texting more and more, make it more pronounced, get noticeably frustrated at how you just can't type straight, it needs to be subtle, not
>dudurrhrh i cnt tyep halpp mang!
get really sleep deprived, it's actually very similar
When I drunk text I don't misspell anything even if I'm blacked out. I just have no filter on what I say even if it's cringe or embarrassing, and I often write long messages. So just act like you're writing a journal entry and include your real feels and you'll be passable
>>27631987
this desu, word things in a way thats correct, but sounds wierd
example:
from: i had a shitty day at work, my girlfriend cucked my with some tall black guy
to: my day was really bad at work, i found out my girlfriend had sex with some black guy that was suuuppeeeeer tall and cheated on me
also do >>27632260
t. compulsive drinker
