Day 4 of no contact with oneitis
Oneitis called me twice on my phone today
Did not pick up
Hey. I am you from the future.
DONT FUCKING DO THIS.
You will regret it more. Call her and explain but it's already damaged but maybe she will forgive you.
>>27628405
So how did it go? Did you make a move and got shot down, or did you just come to the realization that this is never going to lead anywhere anyhow and just ghosted her out of nowhere?
You said before that she doesn't feel for you
Did you even make sure that was true first? Do that. Say.. "Hey sorry I wasn't contacting you. I was nervous. How do you feel about me" or something.
>>27628405
I haven't had a phone call in 10 years
What are you doing, dumbfuck?
>>27628423
Why? What can possibly happen?
>>27628452
Made a move and got rejected.
>>27628488
I confessed and she said she loved me only as a friend. Though she DID say that back when she had a BF and now she's single, but still, I feel like it's best to just cut contact.
>>27628512
Cutting contact.
>>27628504
That's unfortunate. My oneitis and my parents are the only people who ever call me regardless.
Why are you doing this to her OP
>>27628546
>Made a move and got rejected.
yeah you're doing the right thing by cutting contact
>>27629285
Kinda feel bad for making her worry so much though. Meh, she probably doesn't even care that much anyway.
>>27629325
she really doesn't
maybe she'll think "i have no friends i'm so alone" for a week or two
but then after being comforted by her dozens of friends and loving family members nonstop she'll realize how wrong that is and eventually forget about you
while we suffer and waste away
>>27629325
She doesn't, she's mostly worried that you've done something unpredictable that would blow up her spot. If you're not under her thumb, you could be lowering her social currency somehow.
All these betas ITT
Good for you OP, the more time you spend with this girl the spend sadder you will be not having her. The only way to remove a oneitis is to cut contact
>>27628736
Act reasonably you flaming sperglord
Just text back and talk it out
>>27629515
Texting her back would defeat the purpose of no contact, now wouldn't it?
>>27629470
Thanks anon, you're a real pal.
>>27629433
This OP.
You are doing the right thing. Unless she go out of her way to meet you and confess to you, dont bother with her anymore.
>>27628546
You will just feel like shit. Good friends don't grow on trees and you are doing this all by yourself.
Just did the same to mine. We were really good friends and she was there when I needed but she ended up getting a boyfriend.
I'm not sure cutting contact was the right thing to do as I'll miss our conversations a lot, we were texting back and forth all day long for 6 months.
>>27629966
Friendships come and go. I want love, and if I can't get that, then there's no use in hanging around someone that makes me feel like shit with their existence.
The best decision would be to explain why you're not talking to her anymore.
If you just give her the cold shoulder, you'll look like an asshole (for somewhat good reasons). Explain the problem, then cut contact.
But at least you haven't chose the worst option (staying her friend and letting your soul be stomped).
>>27630104
>The best decision would be to explain why you're not talking to her anymore.
Unnecessary drama. Plus, I like the attention she's been giving me.
>>27628405
I did the same to mine. I don't regret it I fucked it up and it wouldn't be the same if I continued to talk with her.
>>27630545
How did you fuck up, anon?
original robot fuck off
I'm on day 3 of no contact with mine. I basically told her to stop leading me on and I'm not her attention toy.
I almost envy you OP, because I haven't heard a peep from her since.
>>27630667
Good for you, anon. You sure told that bitch.
>>27630032
>texting back and forth all day long for 6 months
damn these proto-normies. most of us can barely hold a girl's attention for a day or two.
>>27630897
Once a girl likes you (be it as a friend or more), you'll realize that getting her attention isn't hard.
Tell that whore to fuck off.
>>27628405
you're being a huge pussy. just tell her you aren't interested in seeing her anymore faggot. go ahead and keep hiding from the female wrath.
>>27629470
100% this
bonus points if you fuck her best friend then she starts getting thirsty for your dick.
also, stop getting oneitis. no faster way to dry up a bitch's vagina.
Don't listen to everyone else. Keep her cut off.
But make sure you try to better your life at the same time.
It sounds generic, cliche, and normie as fuck, but seriously, work on yourself. If you have a hobby, do that shit. Get a job if you haven't got one already. If you're at school or university step up your studying. Get a gym membership and start working out. Start getting yourself out of the house. Read some books.
Make sure you're always doing something in your spare time. Not only will it keep your mind occupied and less likely to think about this girl, it'll end up vastly improving your life as well.
>>27630949
>ever feeling confident in yourself
you might as well be dating women if you're gonna go that route.
>>27631122
I have been improving my life, anon, though I did feel tempted in the first two days to just fall into despair and never get out. Thanks for the advice, still.
>>27631106
>also, stop getting oneitis. no faster way to dry up a bitch's vagina.
I found this out the hard way.
Before I confessed to her, she treated me with a lot more kindness and flirted with me a whole lot more. The fucking moment I told her I loved her, it was the moment she started becoming a lot more distant. Ain't making that mistake again.
>>27631396
When you confess do NOT use the word "love".
Does not work will never work comes off as extremely creepy.
>>27631494
What are you supposed to say?
Teach me anon, so I don't fuck up next time.
>>27631576
I mean I'm hardly an expert but just say you like her or have feelings for her.
"Love" is typically seen as something that develops over time in a relationship.
I have oneitis for grilll that is going to study abroad in a year, we haven't formally met yet, is there a chance we meet in the future? When she finish her studies and I have my life more in check?
>>27631820
Of course, anon! Anything is possible!
>>27629325
Say this to her-
>I have feelings for you that aren't mutual. Therefore it would be unfair for me to expect you to act according to them and it is unfair on me to pretend they don't exist. I don't wish you any ill will for not feeling the same, but I feel hurt and don't want to obsess over it. Therefore please understand that I need some space to feel better about things.
Then just don't talk to her. Honestly if there is any chance of anything developing then this is what you have to do. I'm serious bro, you have to do this.
>>27632182
I already pulled that card once before and came crawling back after a few days. I don't wanna do the same thing, it'd be humiliating, especially if I fail again.
>>27632204
Well just don't talk to her at all in that case, sorry for your trouble. Move on with your life and you'll be better off. I went through a similar thing years ago, I did not have a fucking clue about women but I genuinely loved her, we never spoke for years. Not talking to her made her realise that I was serious and I worked on myself. We're actually engaged now and it couldn't be more different from how it used to be, the memes about how to act are real bro.
I know how this sounds on 4chan but I believed then and I believe now that we are soul mates and things can work out but you've got to get in control of yourself then the world around you, it'll make a man out of you.
>>27630796
I don't think she even cares that I stopped giving her attention. She probably has plenty of boytoys. Fucking women man
The fuck does she want from you if you guys aren't gonna date. Like what's the point
>>27632385
OPs humble bragging that his oneitis talks to him
>>27632385
Friendship? Emotional tampon?
>>27632182
>Telling a woman you have feelings for her.
Why not send a letter to the Reichsfuhrer admitting you are Jewish while you're at it?
>>27632385
Friendship?
Fuck off robot.
>>27632385
>>27632424
I would like to add that I was telling the robot janitor to fuck off as he said my comment was not original.
I wasn't telling you to fuck off, anon.
You're going about this the complete wrong way you dick. You said you made a move on her and she rejected you yet she keeps trying to contact you despite blatantly ignoring her. She obviously cares about you on some level and your probi hurting her just as much as she hurt you. Answer her call explain the situation, you cant keep being friends because it hurts too much knowing it will never be anything more. She'll either give it a go ir she will understand how you feel and stop contacting you.
>>27632522
>She'll either give it a go
Won't happen. She just got out of a relationship, I doubt she'd want to get into another one.
>she will understand how you feel and stop contacting you.
I like the attention she's been giving me. It'll hurt both of us regardless of whether or not she knows why I'm ignoring her, so it doesn't matter.
>>27632522
He doesn't owe her anything.
>>27628546
>>27628488
Yeaahhhh... It might hurt, but don't fall for the alfa fux beta bux. She made her choice to be with Chad, and when he inevitably pumped and dumped her, she came running back for the easy beta bux i.e. you
>>27632413
You don't call your "friends" over and over when they don't pick up. Thats something you do when you have feelings for someone
>>27632737
To be fair, she didn't call OP "over and over". She called him twice, apparently. Probably once to talk to him, twice to check if he had time to see.
>>27632793
If he hasn't spoken to her in days then she knows somethings up. She's pursuing him
>>27632987
Maybe because they're close friends and OP is behaving differently from the norm? Doesn't mean that she likes OP romantically.
You're an idiot OP.
original
>>27628423
CUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK
how is this not original
OP, stop and get back to her.
>>27629947
Are you saying you can't be friends with a woman?
remember kids, women will blame you for everything, you have a dick, youll be blamed
you want her? shame on you
you dont pick the phone? shame on you
you pick up the phone and dont want to accept being a friend only? shame on you
you cannot win with women if they dont want you
>>27635429
So you're always in the wrong?
>>27628405
>I-If she won't suck my dick, what's even the point of having her as a friend?
Don't be so quick to dismiss the importance of friendship, OP. It can be more vital than robots tend to think. Gfs aren't everything.
>>27635533
unless you have something they want, yes
>>27628546
You actually are doing the right thing, way better to show her you're not pathetic than to be an orbiter she already rejected
>>27635567
I don't even care about sex.
I remained as her friend for two whole months after I confessed to her. What happened was that she started becoming more distant and never made me happy again. Instead, I was always miserable. So, I'm done.
>>27635567
Fembot listen. It's painful to be friends with someone you see in a sexual way. Especially when you're desperate for actual intimacy. It's not about the blow,jobs. It's about the ego hit of being rejected, it's about the awkward feeling of being used. It's not as simple as you think it is.
>>27635684
he's gonna go crawling back to her in a week or so anyways. as a girl, every guy I friendzone did this.. randomly stopped talking to me or responding to my texts, but then I heard from them a month later and I was like lmao no.
>>27635768
If you were like "lmao no", then you were never really friends with them to begin with and were only using them.
>>27635567
You're a femanon, aren't you?
>>27636765
Nope, I'm a cyborg, but a cyborg who has only barely escaped being a full blown robot by learning not to be a child about this kind of thing. Yes it sucks to be rejected, yes it can hurt to see them, but throwing away a friendship over it is senseless and kind of indicates that you never were really interested in them as a person, but rather just wanted that ass. I used to be just like the OP, but I grew, and I learned that everyone is more or less the same. underneath all the layers of insecurity, feminists, robots, beta orbiters, chads, stacys, and wizards alike? We're all just flawed people looking for someone to love us. Robots just happen to think love has to be a virgin marrying a social reject and them losing their virginities to each other. If that's what you guys want, fuck it, go for it, but recognize that if your attitude wasn't so hostile, and if you didn't have such a victim complex, you'd have a much easier go of it.
>>27637599
Anon, I'm not doing this just because I was interested in sex. I couldn't care less about sex.
I'm doing this because ever since I confessed to her my feelings, two months now, she has been acting extremely distant towards me, she stopped treating me as kindly as she did before and stopped flirting with me. She says it's because she has been busy and has had some personal issues (which is a) bullshit or b) she really DID change because before she would open up about any issues she had) but we both know she's just acting more distant now because I confessed to her. So, I'm doing this because I need to. Because I'm sick of feeling neglected and I'm sick of feeling miserable because she doesn't treat me the same way she did before. Because I'm sick of arguing with her about it and hearing the same "I'm the same person" responses. Because I'm sick of watching her flirt with other guys while I watch, treating them the same way she treated me before. I'm not a toy that can be used only when she wants someone to hear about her problems.
>>27637715
If what you're saying is literally true, then I support your choice. Sorry for jumping to conclusions, but given that we're on r9k I think you'll understand why. Good luck OP.
>>27628405
>Day 4 of no contact with oneitis
>Oneitis called me twice on my phone today
>Did not pick up
I don't get this.
>orbit oneitis for five years
>"oh, anon, what would i do without you, etc."
>emotional tampon
>personal moving company
>bringer of food, etc.
>literally no day goes by that I'm not there for her somehow
>realize one day
>i always initiate contact
>she might ask me to do something
>but it's always me who contacts her first
>decide to stop
>figure i'll hear something
>days go by
>i mean, she said i was like a sister to her
>i'm a guy, btw
>haha, she's funny, right?
>weeks go by
>she always was saying stuff like, "what would I do without you, I'm glad you're here"
>maybe she'll do just fine without me
>find i'm avoiding anywhere i might bump into her
>months go by
>have heard nothing from her for over a year
>not even a simple "hey, i hope you're alright!"
>went from daily, even multiple times a day contact...email, text, calls, in person, to nothing
>there was no fight or anything like that
>no unwelcome declaration of love
>i just stopped contacting her
>and i disappeared
>she didn't care
>>27637893
It's your own fault, but I'm sure you figured that out by now.
>>27637893
Have you forgotten her already, anon?
Week soon here. It's driving me so nuts 'cause the friendship (really intimate one, but we didn't "officialy" start dating yet) with her is pretty much the only thing I have going in life and what gives me any motivation.
I don't know what I'll do if this fucks up for good.
>>27637932
>It's your own fault
Yeah, but what the fuck did I do wrong? She never gave any indication that I was overwhelming her or something.
I mean, I obviously did *something* wrong. I'm just too fucked up to know what I did, so I see 10,000 things as being equally horrible.
This is why I don't have friends either, I guess.
>>27637953
Of course not, it burns like fuck.
But I decided when I did this that I wouldn't creep on her profiles or anything, and I haven't.
>>27638105
Same thing here anon, she's the only thing that makes me happy and gives me motivation.
Are you doing it to get over her or are you trying to see if she gives you attention?
I'm trying to get over my oneitis too. I moved far away from her a couple years ago. I haven't cut her off though. Fair play to you for doing that.
It's annoying because she's all I think about and all I want to think about. So it's hard to get myself out there.
A few weeks ago I really hit it off with this qt blonde grill with massive tits though. Hopefully I'll be able to fuck her, so at least I'll be a nonvirgin with pathetic oneitis rather than a pathetic virgin with pathetic oneitis.
>>27633465
/thread
orange kot
OP here.
As someone who used to talk to her every single day of my life for years straight, this is hard for me, even just four days is hard for me. I've been tempted to break the no contact thing a few times, but haven't. She's the only thing I care about, the only thing that makes me happy, but I realized that holding feelings for her is not healthy for me or her. So, hopefully, I'll manage to get a positive outcome out of this, be it I forget her or she confesses to me.
I was just wondering, how many days should I hold NC for?
>>27638228
>>27637893 here. What started this? I don't get why you're not talking to her, I mean, she's trying to contact you.
>I never had that
>>27638228
She is not going to confess shit. You honestly have to move on. Like even girls beyond 18 do not lead a guy on for months and expect it to work out. How old are you? This is teenage shit. Grown women will make it clear from day 1 your a friend. Years makes it seem like your teens.
>>27638268
Read >>27637715
original
>>27638332
Yeah, I'm not expecting her to confess shit. It's just fun to fantasize about. The plan IS to move on.
>>27638336
OK, so you did the big "I have feelings" speech and she didn't reciprocate.
Why did you wait two months?
>>27637893
This is happening to me right fucking now with someone, but I haven't cut contact.
I've thought about it, oh god I've thought about it.
I don't want to leave her, but shit.
What if deep down, she really, truly does not give one single fuck about me or my existence?
I realize that I'm in her life now and am doing shit for her NOW, and that's all well and good, people come and go, and change your life as life goes on, but shit... I wanted to be forever with her... shit
FUCK
Why is this happening?
>>27628405
block her number, she'll get the hint and forget you in a week...
>>27638396
I tried to cut contact before but came crawling back.
>>27628405
Always remember anon, this is what you chose
>>27628405
lmao
so if a girl doesn't want to fuck you, you ignore her completely?
holy fuck, you will be forever remembered as a pussy
she could have hooked you up with one of her friends or something
at the very least, you would have had a friend
I had to cut contact with a girl I loved after a 5 year relationship. I found out she had a boyfriend at the tail end of our relationship so I blocked her on everything and changed my number. Its been 2 months now. I dont think about her as much as I used to.
>>27637893
if you called her now she'd probably wonder who the fuck you are... happened to me once.
AWALT
>>27637932
kill yourself faggot
>>27638156
find a new oneitis. start fapping to her excessively and when you start to have more feels for her than the prev girl just cut contact with both, maybe get in a 3rd one. worked for me.
>>27638496
It's not about sex. Read >>27637715
>>27638442
stop doing shit for her
you're acting like a literal KEK
that meme is on here so often it should have been nailed into your head by now but i guess not
if she wants to hang out, that's great
but don't buy her shit, don't bring her shit. stop that.
>>27638496
>at the very least, you would have had a friend
People care about each other only the extent they exploit each other for personal gain. There are no friends. Everyone is a piece of capital or a commodity, to be consumed and used.
>>27638228
>how many days should I hold NC for?
the rest of your life
>>27638332
> girls beyond 18 do not lead a guy on for months
of course they do!
> Grown women will make it clear from day 1 your a friend.
and still use your feelings against you
>>27638496
> she could have hooked you up with one of her friends or something
that literally never happens if she doesn't want to fuck you herself
>>27638597
I don't get it. Why can't you be friends with a woman you like?
I've been there.
64 months and counting.
It gets better. I miss the friendship but I know I was a pretty terrible friend.
>>27638649
because that shit only works if they aren't attracted to each other (both ugly or both gay). if one of them is attracted but not the other then we have the friendzone/fwb dynamic, and if it's mutual it'll turn into a relationshit. also, male and female interest are way too different for it to work.
>>27638739
You can be attracted to someone and be their friend. You have to have a romantic AND sexual connection with someone.
I'm a gay guy and I have plenty of male friends.
>>27638917
you're lying to yourself, bro
>>27638953
Trust me, if you don't form an emotional romantic connection with someone, sexual attraction means jack shit.
>>27638996
u w4t m8
if you have romantic feelings you can't be their friend because you'll always want more. I know, because I orbited the same girl for 5 years
Why don't you just keep orbiting her until she gives in eventually? Worked for me.
>>27639133
because divorce rape
>>27639164
That makes no sense.
original
>>27639389
it does if you google around a bit...
>>27629551
>literally mentally handicapped
