Hey ya'll. I'm usually a lurker but today I'm postin somethin up here because I don't really have any friends to talk to about this and I have a hard time putting all of this into actual words.
Long story short, I work as a pizza delivery guy and on my way back to the store from a delivery I was nearly crushed by a truck. The only reason the guy ahead of me was crushed and not me was because I had slowed down to let him ahead of me earlier.
I'm not trying to get pity and I'm not depressed about it, but I've never seen a human being actually crushed to death in front of me. It just keeps playing in my head and I actually feel bad because that guy might have had a family that cared about him and wanted him to come home, I'm just a nobody honestly and nobody would even realize I was gone for weeks, maybe even a month or two.
Anyway I'm not here for pity but I just want to see if anyone else here has gone through something similar and can tell me what I'm feeling? I don't know the word for it. Nothing else really seems as important as it did before. All of the tiny little bullshit just seems to be so insignificant now and in the middle of conversation I just drop off and stare into space. I only know this because multiple people have pointed it out to me since it happened. I feel afraid of something that I've really never understood and I don't know. I'm a mess and I just want someone to talk to that doesn't know me in real life
I've had plenty of near death experiences. Fell 6 feet onto my head as a kid, crashed a motorcycle, had various loaded guns pointed at me, have almost been T-boned on the driver side by a big truck, etc. None of it particularly bothered me. You need to come to terms with your own mortality.
>>27596730
It's not that I don't think I won't die or that it could happen at anytime, I'm just having a hard time forgetting about what I saw. It was gore and I've never seen anything even remotely close besides road kill
>>27596770
Go on liveleak and watch more gore then. Gotta desensitize yourself.
>>27596670
>lurker
hey man welcome aboard
I had a near death experience when I was really little, like... 6? I used to live in a house on top of a hill in a small city named Camas Washington. Considering it was a pretty nice area, semi encircled with forest and exploring areas, my parents let my brother and I go by ourselves around the neighborhood
One time, while riding around on my bike, I fell off on the street right at the top of the hill, right in the middle of the road. Cars coming up the hill couldn't see me because of the curve of the road, and I was injured pretty badly...
So a huge SUV came super fast up the hill, and as I was looking down the hill watching it I legitimately thought I was going to die very soon, it would have ran right over my head
But my brother came and pulled me back far enough for it to pass without hitting me. Honestly I dont even think about it... not dying is not very eventful, I wasnt even hurt... so I dont think I know what you are feeling. It's true, you could die by some accident at any moment... but if you had a goal before this, how did it change? dont let this be an obstacle desu
>>27596784
That's something that actually kind of confuses me. When I was younger I would go on gore threads all the time. I'm surprised just seeing it in real life has had this much of an impact on me after seeing far worse online
>>27596798
Well right now I only have a couple of goals, but they are pretty lofty and I'm slowly working towards them. The first thing I want to do is open my own law firm as a public defender (nothing big and fancy, but having a building with my name on it and helping people is something I've always wanted to do) and also publish the book I'm working on (also not hoping to get rich or famous from it, but just published would be alright)
First post best post. What he said.
Do failed suicide attempts count?
Had a random 100 degree + temperature for like an hour when I was about 7 and saw things I perceived as angels and then shortly after things that terrified me that I perceived as demons. Either I was going to hell or my brain was creating a scenario from information I was given as a kid about heaven and hell.
