>tyrone shouts at you from across the street
>you try to power walk away awkwardly but he's gaining on you
>you realize you can't escape him because you're an out of shape NEET
>"boy square up im boutta tear yo ass up"
>tyrone lowers himself to a fighting position
>"bring dat ass here boy im boutta warm yo ass up"
>"been lookin like a philly cheasesteak nigga"
>"chicken quesadilla neck ass boy"
>your only chance at walking away from this fight alive is winning it
What is your strategy?
>>27594024
Honestly I don't know how to fight a nigger I'd just run at him as fast as I can and try to tackle him with all my momentum
>>27594064
You never only fight one.
Niggers always have other niggers who will sucker punch you
>>27594024
pull out a gun and shoot him
>>27594024
Accept fate and get my ass torn apart. My last words would only be "was I good daddy?" before I died and then him dying from 27 SWAT members gunning him down.
What'd eventually happen is WW3.
>>27594024
accept the roast, as he might become hostile
kick in the balls and run
I'm not a fighter, I don't want any part of that shit
fucking nigger
>>27594079
This ings never fight fair
Headbutt, kick to the balls, claw out the eyes, rock to their face. Whatever it takes. It's life or death, so you better fight on with murder in your mind.
>>27594024
kick him in the nads and try to gauge out his eyes and smash his testicales with all my might when hes down, and them book it, call 911 and hope his buds dont come murder me in my sleep
>>27594064
>you charge at the young black man, autismal battle cry and all
>his many skirmishes as a child growing up in the ghetto have aided to his battle skills
>he sidesteps your full force charge
>unable to recover from applying your full force into nothing you trip over yourself and hit the ground
>"boy you gotta do better n'at"
What is your strategy?
Ask him to kindly kill me so I'm remembered as the poor white guy murdered by some nigger instead of sudoku.
>>27594024
>>"been lookin like a philly cheasesteak nigga"
>>"chicken quesadilla neck ass boy"
elite kek
>>27594142
take up a boxing stance and prepare to box like I've learned from my anime
Pull out pic related since I'm a HEMA autist and actually carry it sometimes.
>>27594157
>local report says random skinny white guy no one cared about had a accident with tryone
>tyrone was simply asking for the time when the crazed white man snapped and punched himself multiple times and strangled himself to death, then ran at tyrone
>tyrone had no choice but to defend himself
>the white man also took out his wallet and swallowed all his money and credit card, according to tyrone
Never fought in my life but assuming my brain doesn't give a stupid fucking "flee" reflex like always, I would:
>Spread legs apart so my stance has balance if he attempts to rush me, front knee bent forward other leg bent towards the side (Sort of like OP's image but not as wide)
>Right arm near face for blocking and jabs
>Left arm midguard/to grab
Depending on what he does:
>If he rushes, attempt to off balance and target his leg if he has a shitty stance
>If he stands still thinking he's tough, rush towards his stomach to drive him to the ground
If he comes up to throw hands it's up to god, I'd try to defend and face shot as much as I could
On the ground I'd just hit his face and try to armbar even if I've never done it in my life
>>27594199
>AYOOOOOOOOO
>DIS NIGGA PULL OUT SUM FUGGIN SWORD N SHIEET
>AYO HOMIES I NEED BACKUP BRING YO GUNS NIGGAS
>*bapbapbapbapbap*
>hehe dum wite boi
>>27594209
>tyrone was simply asking for the time when the crazed white man snapped and punched himself multiple times and strangled himself to death, then ran at tyrone
sensiblechuckle.gif
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little nigger? Ten score and fifteen years ago I was a plantation owner and I literally owned - bought and paid for - coons like yourself. Through my own better sense, from my goddamn heart I freed you monkeys from your shackles and look where you are now. Ready to fight against your master. Well, spook, I realize I was wrong.
*cracks whip*
You ready to bow down to Massa again?
>>27594081
> His body crashes to the down after the bullet flies through his head.
> A black lady within your vicinity heard the gunshot and runs over screaming.
> Police & News Reporters arrive.
> She tells the police you're racist while holding a sign "black lives matter"
What is your strategy?
>>27594173
>you stumble to your feet, still slightly disoriented from your doozy
>you have the bright idea of trying to box a feral beast
>you raise your fists to a defensive position, ready and waiting
>"boy dis ain't no transfomas movie, dont try me like dat"
>he pulls his loose basketball shorts all the way up his thighs, ready to strike
>he starts walking up on you with his fists raised
>he jabs, you dodge and grab his arm
>you land a few quick jabs on him while he's shocked at your ability to not get pummeled
>he slides out of your grasp nimbly
>"damn boy you think you know wassup?"
>he runs at you quickly and suckerpunches you, you fall to the ground in pain
>"you ain't shit niggie, don't think you some big dog"
What is your strategy?
>>27594024
Basically go for the nuts, eyes and throat. A good hit on any of those will buy you time to run
>>27594024
>It's another "Invicible Nigger Gary-Stu" episode
You're boring, your mother is boring, your cat is boring, your boss is boring and it's all your fault, you are a fucking black hole that destroys all the fun around you
>>27594377
If you land a hit on those, you're probably going to win at that rate.
>>27594363
start weaving my body and prepare to do the dempsey roll on the nigger's ass
I offer my plump white bussy to his bbc
>>27594363
Curl up in a ball and cry
What kind of a question is that
I draw and mag dump into him
>>27594209
tfw this is what would actually happen to any of us
>>27594218
pls make up a scenario for this
>>27594393
Until he whips out a knife or niggerpistol. If you can get away, never prolong a fight
Turns out I was a hologram.
>>27594024
>tackle
>use superior body weight to keep him down
>pull spaghetti out of my pockets and force feed it to him
>take the mountain dew out of my butt and wack him with it
>run away after
>normies have been foiled again
pull out my dick and start speed whacking to bukkake porn on my iphone
Pull out my knife and start cutting my fingers to throw at him. All this while hopping on one foot and screaming "devils gonna get you".
>>27594535
>AYY NIGGA WAT DA FUK
>U NASTY HOMIE IMA GET THE FUC OUTTA HERE
>>27594539
>DIS NIGGA CRAZY, WHIT BOI U NEED A DOCTOR SUM SHIET?
>>27594363
Bite through his Achilles Tendon.
>>27594398
>you get on your feet, surprisingly still conscious
>the young gentleman seems like he has gained respect for your quick hits and elegant dodges
>he stays back, waiting for you to make a move
>you quickly lunge at him in an attempt to land an uppercut
>you miss but it's almost as though time stopped when you whiffed the kind-hearted young man
>a flock of assorted African Americans has formed around your fight
>they're all visibly upset that you haven't been knocked the fuck out yet
>what's this? the young man you had challenged to a duel has fallen to the ground, shaking
>impossible! you clipped him with your blazing uppercut right on his chin
>he's struggling to get back up as you've previously hit him in the sweet spot
>you can hear the crowd booing and shouting profanities at you as they see their homeboy get his shit pumped by a white nigga
>you go in to knock his ass out swiftly and succeed!
>congratulations, you've committed a hate crime against a young innocent African American middleschooler
>his mother emerges from the crowd bawling and wailing
>"he was a good boy! he didn't do nothin!"
>the crowd explodes into a ball of white hate and starts running towards you
>you accept your fate as you're too worn out from your fight with the young African American boy
You have died and everyone will remember you as the man who assaulted a young black child.
(Sorry this one took a while)
>>27594625
At least anon died with a smile on his face, confident in his ultimate victory
>>27594625
>uppercutted him
>not dempsey rolled
Well at least the nigger got fucked
>>27594024
call my dad for backup knowing that he can't do the same
>>27594680
we all know your cracker ass couldn't have managed that shit
thanks for entertaining me for a little though
>>27594024
>maintain eye contact
>take off all of my clothes
>begin my autismal battle cry and unleash a hearty reeee
>violently shit and piss myself
>run full force at him while flapping around, spraying shit everywhere
There is no chance he will want to come anywhere near me after this.
Bring myself close to him and bite his throat out walking dead style.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUedmgbmoA0
I just keep power walking. He can't run after me with his pants around his knees.
>>27594024
Square up cause I ain't no bitch.
>>27594024
whipping the piss out of him because in my experience blacks are generally in better shape than white guys which makes them stronger but they are shit at throwing punches and don't know how to fight
You have to win the fight before you get taken to the ground. Nigs have no mercy when it comes to smacking those who are already down.
pull out a knife and slit my own throat
>>27594363
>he pulls his loose basketball shorts all the way up his thighs, ready to strike
>up to his thighs
>up
He accosted me, dick swinging and all? How far down were his shorts before?
>>27594024
I wait for him to knock me to the ground and start punching my head into a pulp.
Then I take out my Kel-Tec PF-9 9mm and shoot him in the chest.
pull my knife out and hope he backs off before I have to gut him. if I'm up against someone faster and stronger than me, I'll use whatever weapons I have/can find to defend myself
>>27594977
>tfw based Zim Zam has disappeared forever
We didn't even get to see him box.
>>27595552
He posted on /co/ yesterday
so then i pull out my gun
>>27594064
That would go something like this:
https://twitter.com/ThirtySecFights/status/715552904543911936
>>27594079
Very good point to factor in
>get naked
>stop drop 'n' roll
>screech and make any sound my body permits me to make
>nigger can't comprehend cuz small nigger brain
>nigger leaves
>win by forfeit
>>27596026
This is actually super viable
>>27594024
>call the police
>they shoot tyrone in cold blood
>success
senpai is watching!
>>27594024
duh
Pull out katana
>Nothing personal, kiddo
I accept defeat and prep the bull for my liberal arts girlfriend
I'm not a ufc fighter or anything, but I'm pretty big and do muay thai, so I'd probably be ok
>>27594024
NIGGA U BOUT TO CATCH HEAT NIGGA
Accept my fate as his sissy cumslave for life. I'd bend over and let him destroy my ass there and then
>>27594329
Absolute death of my sides anon
>>27594024
Niggers always throw wild haymakers.
you gotta rassle that there nigger.
I used to fight professionally, I could take down some random street nigger. The fact is, niggers are genetically weaker and have less testosterone than white men.
>>27594199
chekd neckbeard
I perform a lightning fast stutter step behind him, and whisper into the nigger's ear, from right behind his shoulder - "What the fuck did you say about me, boy?"
He throws a wild haymaker at me. Powerful, sure, but inefficient, and slow. I've already stepped back out of range.
*Smirk*
He advances with a right. Left. Right, left, right. Each blow coming close, but hitting nothing but air.
At this point, I raise my hands to a fighting stance. My right hand curled into a fist and held beside my ear. My left hand is flat, ready to utilize the knife edge of my palm in a devastating strike or parry.
"Is that all you got?" I ask. I can tell from the look in his eye he is just realizing he may have bitten off more than he can chew.
I start landing blows with surgical precision. Straight right, hook, chop, spear hand, kick, elbow, knee. The nigger goes down. Hard.
"Get up"
He staggers back to his feet. Turns to run. He sprints, taking corners at random. Or, at least, what he believes to be random, but what is actually in a sequence that a trained psychologist could predict.
He pauses to catch his breath. That's when he notices.
I'm already there.
>>27597071
Where are you from? And if it's close to new York let's make some shit happen
Didn't read thread buuuuuuuuut...
Left hand to the left of his throat, thumb pressed as hard as I can into the middle of his throat. Right thumb going into his right eye as hard as it can
Hopefully it will be at least very uncomfortable for him, he may bash my brains into the pavement but oh well
>>27594142
I hire a skeleton as my lawyer and Zimmerman it up.
>>27597407
:/I'm not even in America
>getting out of home without your dual action hidden blades
SHAKE MY DAMN HEAD
>>27594341
Laugh becuz i'm autistic therefore i cannot be touched, also
>implying i wouldn't kill her too and any witness before GTFO
>>27594024
I always carry a pocket knife so I will stab him. Granted I could miss but my odds are still pretty good.
>>27594363
>getting hit by a sucker punch
what kind of faggot do you think i am?
>realize i live in tel aviv
>all niggers here wouldnt dare fight me
>>27594024
Use my superior weight and sit on him.
>>27594024
>Teleports behind him
>Slices him in half
>His nigger pack cries out in rage
>One of them fires a gun at me
>Hits it like a bat with the dull edge of my katana
>It hits him
>One of them swings a bat at me
>I slice it in half and then decapitate him in a graceful motion
>I cut them down quickly and gracefully
>Only one left
>Prepare to return to the Shadow Realm
>I quickly rush at him
>I kick him in the air and chop him into little bits
>I land on the ground before the blood hits the ground
>Tch, nothing personnel kid
>>27594341
I vote Trump.
>>27594341
Reload and repeat
Hi, i am from /b/ how this board works?
>>27597917
>Be from /s4s/.
>Say you're from /b/.
D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H
If this happened to me IRL this is about how it'd happen:
>I try to reason with him to be peaceful even though I know they can't be reasoned with, it's just to buy time before getting my ass kicked
>While pretending to be peaceful I watch like a hawk for him to take his eyes off me or drop his guard in any way
>If he does, I tackle him and go straight for the neck and strangle him
>If he doesn't, then I'm going to get my ass kicked probably, but I'll fight back
>I'll try to defend myself as well as possible to prolong being killed too quickly and hope that a lucky opening appears to choke him out
>After he passes out I will break both of his arms and legs. Then leave.
I've done kyokushin for 9 years and been in a few fights so i think i will manage.
>couple of fast punches to the head are will cause him to raise his arms very close to his head, limiting visibility.
> kick as hard as i can to his supporting knee, trowing him off balance and removing his defences for a split second.
>quikly break his nose with a straight punch, knocking him to the ground.
>gtfo before more niggers show up.
Draw my Glock 26 and put as many 9mm +P 124gr JHP rounds into him as it takes for him to go down or run off.
I'd give up my boipussy and cry. I am not even a cuck Im just very weak and scared of black people.
>>27594024
Why would a random person try to fight me?
>take out my collapsible baton(pic related)
>get it ready and just wait for Tyrone to try anything
That thing gives you much longer reach than a knife. I carry it on me always. Usually in my bag, but whenever I am walking through some bad neighborhood I take it out and keep it hidden in my sleeve so I can just swing it to get it open very fast.
Only problem would be obviously if Tyrone had some friends with him.
>>27598741
haha
"please sir, I'm sorry, you can fuck my tender boipussy if you want, just don't hurt me"
"fuck you talkin bout cracka, just gimme dat wallet"
"<sob> please, sir, have mercy on my slutty ass, it's ok if you don't use a condom and drop a hot load in me, just let me live! <sob>"
"man fuck this gay shit, this ain't worth it, I'm outta here"
and that's how you survive a mugging
>>27594024
>your only chance at walking away from this fight alive is winning it
>Pull my gun
>"Nothing personal kiddo"
>Shoots tyrone in his nigga head
ezz
>>27598777
Fuck I hate living in a no guns no weapons cuck country. On the other hand I can afford a car as a warehouse worker, so I never actually have to walk anywhere. I guess it all balances out.
>>27598954
I look like a girl so idk why the black dude would want to fight me anyway
The only fight I ever had was with a nigger and I just tackled him to the ground. It seems to be a bit of a racial stereotype, but he just couldn't get out of my hold. I elbowed him hard in the head and then ran away. I didn't see him following me though.
>>27599038
>I look like a girl
Are you interested in some bum play, anon?
AYE!
AYO!!
I SEEN ALL DAT RAYCIS SHIT YOU BEEN POSTIN ON DA INNNANET BOI
IMA GIV U 10 SECONDS 2 SPLAIN YOSELF ELSE IMA HAFF 2 DOME YO CRACKA ASS
RAYCISS ZIMMERMAN ASS MOTHAFUKA
>>27599116
>I did it for teh lulz.
>>27599048
I have before and it felt good but id only do that with somebody i really loved.
*unzips katana* I hope you brushed your teeth this morning. Because you're about to meet your maker.
>>27594024
>power walk away
That was your mistake. You stop where you are, turn an about face, and address him in a perfectly nuetral manner as you then slowly approach him to converse.
You don't show fear, concern, or hostility. Express with your eyes the preparedness for combat, while remaining perfectly nuetral in speech and posture.
Fear no man motherfucker, and make sure they know that. But don't make the mistake of trying to act hard. Its really about the look in your eyes. You should be semi-friendly while simultaneously thinking about where you will attack if provoked.
It doesnt matter how small you are, you can get inside someones guard and attempt to tear their eyes out. Have that confidence, and it will show.
Source: I was almost accosted by a swoll dindu about 3x my size with almost full muscle mass.
Don't show fear. Most people are just like animals, they will pick up on that and question whether they should continue with the idea of robbing you.
I suppose being schizo might help, I generally don't give a fuck about social conventions and thoroughly hate people through and through. I never beg a situation or try to "act hard", but honestly I'm always wishing someone would fuck with me because I will not hesitate to rip someones throat out and teach them that the power they think they have means nothing.
Group of degenerates come and attack you?
See how many of their eyes you can take before they kill you. You have to enter the situation with that attitude.
I do some amateur judoka throws I've seen a few times or use my 2 month experience with boxing
I'm probably fucked either way
>>27599210
post some pix? pls?
original comment desu senpai lmao
>>27599613
cant sorry origiinnalllll
>>27597870
you using a musket or something?
>>27594024
You wait until he aproaches and when he extends his neck trying to scare you you punch him in the throat.
I don't know, I'm a fat fuck so I'd probably just charge him, grab him, and drop on top of him.
Then I'm fucked because all I'd have is trying to choke him out but I doubt I'd be able to do it.
>>27594024
>beg him to go away with an extreme stutter
>he continues to approach
>click the button on my life alert
>remove one of my sandals to use as a cheeky blunt weapon
>throw all of my prized hot wheels cars in my pockets at him
>he gets angry because one hit him
>screech as loud as I can
>quickly eat an alka seltzer tablet from my shirt pocket and projectile vomit at him
>he's disoriented
>now is my chance
>unsheathes katana
>"h-heh, n-n-n-no-n-nothing p-perso-personnel, k-kid
>authorities arrive and shoot me
consecutive normal punchesoc punches
>>27594024
Rip my pants and shirt off and say "oh yeah baby come TEAR this ass up" while offering my ass suggestively
He will run away trust me.
>>27600747
Serious Series: Serious Punch
>>27594024
Weakness is Strength.
Act scared. Act drunk. Let him chase you to where people are,preferably neutral folk and not his friends. Be cowed,cowardly,craven...make him brazen overconfident and happy to lay hands on you. Then,at an appropriate moment,when you have his face in yours,as you feign tears and horror...
Strike.
First,roar. With your angriest face,bellow rage at the top of your lungs and grab a handful of face and PULL. Easy to do,requires no special strength or skill. Maim him for life. He will be too surprised and shocked to resist. If you're lucky,you can topple him to the ground and kick him hard in the ribs,since instinct will make his hands fly to his wounded head. Then assess the situation: no more than 5 seconds would have passed and if you have to deal with his friends the time to do so is now. Don't try to fight them,just shout RUN,and disperse them. Leave the opposite way.
Feel no pity,no remorse. Explain to the authorities that you tried to get away and panicked into hurting him. Show remorse to them,celebrate when there are no witnesses.
You fight him and knock his ass out. Every time I lost a 1 on 1 fight it was to a white but never to a nigger. Niggers are genetically weaker than whites.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World%27s_Strongest_Man#Official_results_.E2.80.93_top_three_places
>>27594024
>you realize you can't escape him because you're an out of shape NEET
I may be a NEET but I am not out of shape.
In fact my main hobby and only productive activity is martial arts.
That being said realistically I would just lol at him being a idiot then walk away to do whatever the fuck I was doing, while keeping a eye on him.
But since in this hypothetical I for whatever reason can't leave or deescalate the situation I guess you want my fight strategy against a untrained under weight idiot.
Simple, I give him a warning to leave me alone, and if he gets near me I smash him into the ground til he don't walk so good no more.
shit on my hands and scare him away. then wait in a dark place until night and rape him from behind
>>27594134
Why not just prep the bull and spare effort?
Niggers being good at fighting is a meme, they all invariably plant their feet and throw a bunch of wild haymakers.
>>27594024
>side swipe
>block his rookie punch with elbow
>punch 7th rib - it's now cracked
>block his next punch with my wrist
>grab his hand and dislocate
>heel kick 7th rib again - winded
>bow
>walk away
yes i do study karate
Punch him with thumbtacks inserted in fingerless gloves
Square up with katana hidden in trenchcoat
Throw 3DS at him
Pull out numerous decorative animu knives
Strangle with studded belt
Run naruto-style at him
Shove Doritos in his eyes, drown with code red mountain dew
>>27594024
Thank god I carry a snub nose so I don't have to worry about this shit
>>27602416
What a waste of dew...
>>27595753
Is the guy who got kicked dead?
>>27594329
Do you think he would be phased and not just start punching you?
>>27594599
The only way to win, anon
>>27594024
Do MT and Kali 4 times a week at minimum not including weights,cardio and strength work. Done this for four years. My opponent is nigga thug yeah this is totally going to end well for him.
i'm fast as shit so i would just leg it
fighting obviously wouldn't be an option since i've never been in a fight
