Any real robots here care to give some input? I've gone through my life with a more or less 'chad' persona. I'm very socially inclined, I find it easy to talk to women and sleep with them. I have tons of friends.
Over the last year, I met a girl who I (think) I fell in love with, and married her. Things are going well until she points out how cold and emotionally unavailable I am. I sort of always knew this, but hadn't really confronted the idea. Now I'm sitting here thinking. I lost my mother at a very young age and my father was never there. I was raised by my mother's parents who seemed to be just tired of raising kids at their age, and never really showed my brother and I any genuine affection. Did I not develop the ability to love anyone?
I don't know what I'm really asking by all this, but does anyone else feel the same way?
Acknowledgement is half the battle, I never fight the other half though.
I can't say I feel the same, but it sounds like quite the conundrum. ALL you can do here is try to be more available for her, but I wouldn't go beating yourself up about things you can't change.
Maybe you guys don't have much in common, you sound like a pretty big shithead desu. Dump her, read some books, get a smarter more interesting GF.
>>27580616
>Marrying a woman after only a year
You're fucking dumb.
>>27580616
>I've gone through my life with a more or less 'chad' persona. I'm very socially inclined, I find it easy to talk to women and sleep with them. I have tons of friends.
Fuck of normie
I'm trying to be more sincere with her problems. She's goin through a rough period at work and her father is moving away....not to mention she just miscarried our potential child. I just told her I'm going to be more receptive to her feelings but I just think it's going to be such an uphill battle.
>>27580616
You don't love yourself, that's why you have a persona. She fell in love with that person, not you. You don't even know who you are and if it is possible to love/be loved. Lots of people end up this way, anon. You just have to start putting the pieces back together, and relate yourself to others on more basic traits.
Ye I can relate to being a Chad fucking women left and right then marrying one, that's the average user on a board created for lonely and bitter virgins
>>27580765
I know it seems that way, but she's the closest I've ever (and feel like I ever will) gotten to someone. I don't know if it's the praise she gives me that I never received, or her nurturing nature. I really feel I love her and I want to change for her.
>>27580616
don't fall for this old trick you stupid fuck... if you become an emotional beta she'll just divorce rape you because "you've changed" and similar BS.
>>27580865
Thing is that I explained this all to her, told her I feel awful for making her suffer through my glacial pace of change, and she said I'm worth suffering for.
>>27580616
You can love anon, you just dont know how. None of us do, do we can't help you.
>>27580899
look up shit tests and don't fall for those...
>>27580616
So she didn't point out your emotional distance until AFTER she snagged you in a marriage? What a fucking shock.
>>27580981
Well like that other guy said...I realized I do have a 'persona'. Once the honeymoon phase ended, I returned to the person I really am. I love her so much and I want to stay with her and work on myself, I just really wanted to know if anyone here has felt the same and what they did to combat it.
>>27580616
Hey fellow boy. Here is my story:
>be me, ~12 years old
>start developing insomnia, still have it to this day
>numbness replaced all feelings I had
>no joy, no sadness, no shame, simply this deep need of sleep
>around 18, insomnia got slightly better, went from 3h/night to 5h/night
>discover sadness, completely
>almost no joy, nothing specially bad though, except total sadness almost 24/7
>I start dreaming again, which was impossible through insomnia
>literally only nightmares, I can't remember when was the last time I had a dream
>same as you, extrovert, no problem to get friends or relationships
>can't make any of them last though, because I get bored of them and just put them out of my life
>tend to fit in as I'm good at pretending
>can't find any relationship in which the other understands me or my sadness
>>27581238
I meant fellow bot but this phone hates me. Even technology hates robots...
>>27581238
I feel you on the pretending, man. I try to be this version of myself that I want to be, and it works to some degree, but deep down I'm just sad, too. Maybe I just need to give in to that sadness for a while.
>>27581238
>essentially me
only I gave up and now have no friends because i play a stupid game with the world expecting life to be fair
>refuse to get job or even attempt to acquire GBPs
>until I find a person with even vaguely similar interests and values
>searched my interests on pof last night
>most interests listed, I am the only search result returned
>some are 60yo dudes who seem so incredibly lonely
>tfw I only want a qt3.14 to share my interests
>tfw university did not guarantee I would be around intelligent people
>I now go mountainclimbing because the only people I can stand are the happy fit people on exercise highs
>everywhere else is shitty fatties who are just grumpy because they cant poop properly
>>27581425
I feel like if this doesnt work out, I'll just give up, too. I spend most of my time alone in my head, the rest of the time I'm either regurgitating that out on paper through my art, or nose in a fantasy novel trying to escape reality. Is this maybe how its always going to be?
>>27581383
I've been thinking about getting back to 3h sleep per night. This numbness is less exhausting than the sadness, to be completely honest. The only bad point about it is the memory problems. I have almost no memories from age 13-17...
Keep pretending, Anon, if you stop, people will slowly let you down and being lonely just enhances the sadness more because you don't have to pretend anymore and you just embrace it.
>>27581425
You're right to give up somehow. False expectations are worse than facing reality. You probably just need some months or years of loneliness.
People with similar interests are always difficult to find if your interests are uncommon. Maybe you should talk with these 60 yos. That can't hurt and maybe they're lonely too?
Keep hiking, it's an incredibly relaxing activity. I also enjoy nature and the quiet of these places. The less humans, the less tensed I am.
OP here. It makes me happy in a weird way to hear from others who are in similar situations. Let's keep this conversation going.
A part of this I left out is that I also have a 4yr old daughter from an old relationship. She's the only one who I don't (cant) act like this towards. I don't know if it's because of my lack of parentals or feeling of responsibility, but she's got what little heart I have.
