ITT: Times you forgot you weren't on 4chan
>be sitting at home a couple months ago watching syrian combat footage and taking heavy bong rips
>normie friends text me saying they want to go get chinese food
>got them munchies and craving some peking duck so I say sure
>get to restaurant
>everyone else orders normally
>waiter looks at me
>I point to menu and shout "JUST DUCK MY SHIT UP FAMALAM"
>literally entire restaurant looks at me like pic related
>normie friends don't get my sick meme reference
>eat rest of dinner in silence, friends haven't talked to me since
I cringed really hard while reading this
but you were high so it doesn't count
my friends never give me shit for things I do when I'm high, and I've said some really stupid shit like shitposting irl and talking like spurdo
>>27554387
so do I every time I think about it
>>27554425
they knew I was high but they were all sober. they did laugh a little bit but in a "wtf was that" kind of way.
>>27554035
>JUST DUCK MY SHIT UP FAMALAM
top kek
>>27554035
>talking to a friend
>get on the subject of blacks
>try to red pill him
>get carried away and start talking relly loudly
>nigger passes with his niglet and gets pissed
>tells me to shut the fuck up
>forget im not on /pol/ and tell him to go back to Africa
>punches me in the face and knocks me out
>friend calms him down and takes me home
>doesn't want to be friends anymore
Hurts
>>27555469
HOLY SHIT haha haha hah
>take my cat to vet for checkup
>my cat is kinda fat
>vet says "oh, shes a big kitty"
>without hesitation I say "FOR YOU!!!" loudly
>he looks at me like I just asked to shit on his desk
It was fucking embarassing. Pic related is my cat
>>27555529
That was pretty cruel of him to call your cat fat though.
>>27555469
That's what you get for being a poltard
>>27555584
I need to stop going there. It's got me in more trouble than it's worth.
>>27555570
I agree, but at least he wasn't that much of a dick about it. He did give me some options for putting her on a diet.
>be out with normie friends
>some of them wanna smoke weed
>they go off in one of their cars
>they come back saying how good it was and how high they got
>I yell out "DUDE"
> everyone just looks at me like I'm retarded
I meme subtley all the meme and just laugh at my own meme jokes. Either no one notices or they get it and bask in the dankness with me.
>>27555658
You must have sounded extra retarded, because there's nothing weird about saying dude when you're smoking weed
>>27555469
>not shooting him in self defense
>>27555751
I wasn't smoking it, and I was trying to get the DUDE WEED LMAO combo irl. Obviously nobody else knew what I was on about
>>27555721
My brother and I are up to date on all the dankest 4chan memes and spout them at each other whenever we see eachother
>>27555779
how long ago was this? the "DUDE WEED LMAO XD" meme is so normie now that normies wont even talk about weed anymore.
>>27554035
cringed so hard I started laffin and chocked on literally nothing
>unironically added onto someones description of a 6'7 weight lifter that hes a big guy F O R Y O U
>>27554035
called my gf an autist the other day, i downplay how much i use 4chan, but shes starting to use it more for the funny gif memes and she will find out
>>27555469
you somehow topped op. well done
>>27555469
>get carried away and start talking relly loudly
>nigger passes with his niglet and gets pissed
>tells me to shut the fuck up
That's when you say "sorry I have tourrettes syndrome, I'm mentally disabled" and they'll probably leave you alone.
Or you can get a cheap $150 9mm handgun and rid this world of the ebony demons that envelop it. If he punched you in the face, you can shoot him in the heart and get away with it completely scott-free (because the shot was in self defense and there's no way to prove you intended to kill him.)
>>27555894
Wtf? Please be bait.
>>27555947
Thanks
>>27555759
>>27555967
I didn't have my gun on me since we were just taking a quick walk down to get something from a shop and even then I would've been to big a pussy to shoot
>>27554035
>friends
>high
Go fucking kill yourself you shitty normalfag retard.
>>27555529
HIGH
T
E
S
T
Hightest kittycat
>>27554035
The only way you would ever do that is if you read the shit on here out loud. If you read it in your head, like any non-retarded person, then you wouldn't say it in public.
>>27555469
>jumping to violence in response to someone else saying words
Mindless savages.
>>27555469
You should have told him you were only pretending
>>27555993
I call people autists and autistic all the time, people just assume I'm an asshole
>>27554035
You have shitty friends.
>>27555894
My gf has picked up a number of memes from me over the years. I don't think she even understands they're memes, she just learns from me. Things like 'y-you too', 'toplel', 'pig disgusting', etc.
>>27554425
I love to talk like spurdo, with some normies friends we basically invented a whole new dialect out of memes.
>>27557283
this
My normie friends love it when I say crazy autistic meme shit like that because they know I'm that kind of guy
My mom works in state government in the office that distributes WIC, welfare, unemployment, etc. She was talking about wanting to take the next day off at dinner one night and I blurted out "but who's gonna give out the neetbux?"
>actually ended up explaining what NEET means and parents got a good chuckle out of it
>>27558113
I remember when I was in the Navy and I started talking in meme-speak and soon all other recruits caught on.
then again, there were a few chan-tards and bots there.
I taught my little brother (11 or 12 cant remember desu) the "you're a big guy" scene. He never even saw the movie.
>friend saying how he would feel responsible if his girlfriend got pregnant, even if he wasn't the father
>immediately blurt out "KEK!"
>everyone stares at me
>try to explain, "t-that's what a cuckold would do haha"
>no one knows what cuckold means
>>27559062
Well did you explain it to them? I mean you weren't wrong.
>>27559062
lel I've used "cuck" a couple times irl and gotten weird looks
>>27558975
Fuck, that's actually cringy as hell.
I bet she knows a lot of the memery though from her job
>>27554035
>with friend hanging out
>watching video of ASIMO (Japanese robot) on youtube
>mistakenly call the robot 'weeaboo'
>>27554035
Fuck off with your shit fake unfunny story. Only 14 year olds would find this shit funny.
>>27554035
>and taking heavy bong rips
Stopped reading there, opinion discarded. This sub ill needs posters like you. /Banned
>>27555570
Letting your pet's become obese is unhealthy for them and considered animal cruelty in america.
>normie friend wanted to buy a shirt for concert
>knew him from elementary
>have seen him from time to time since
>go with to help
>end up at hot topic
>fuckthisplace.jpg
>see section labelled "anime"
>gotta see this
>some pretty sweet shit like full metal alch and samurai champloo
>blurt out "fuck yeah i can go full weaboo"
>woman working there just looks at me with a wut face
>friend just says "cmon we don't have time for this"
>leave
>never been back to hot topic
>still talk with him from time to timetfw weeb close
>>27556008
so why do you a carry a gun if youre scarred to shoot? im always looking for an excuse to shoot someone.
Some people at work were talking about how shit BvS was and I blurted out "LOOK AT THE TOP OF HIS HEAD"
>>27559062
>>27559160
What a relief, that means that stupid meme hasn't spread to the real world.
I try to meme subtly. I've told people to "kill themselves" as a reponse to them saying stupid shit, that certainly upset some people.
Atleast you were high. If you were sober you'd have real trouble explaining it
>>27555529
Ope... I think I kek'd myself
