My sister died very suddenly of what was probably a heart attack yesterday
At the hospital I cried a little bit, I'm a very stoic autist, and once I was alone I cried a bit more
But today I feel no grief. Me and mh sister weren't on great terms because I had a problem with her boyfriend, but we both lived in seperate apartments in a house we inherited from our father and we saw each other frequently. We also understood that we had no family besides each other.
When my Dad also died very suddenly of a heart attack 7 years ago I was absolutely devastated and experienced derealization and depersonalization for about a year, I went from weighing 240 pounds at 6'5" to weighing 150 pounds.
I wonder why it is that only a day after her death I feel nothing. I lost no sleep last night and my first thought on waking was what work needed to be done to her apartment to make it suitable for renting. At the hospital with my aunts and cousins I measured my grief against theres and had to fake a lot of it.
I feel guilty, like a monster
>>27550859
You are in shock and denial. The pain will hit you hard and suddenly in a few years.
>>27550859
I fear that I may experience this if a close relative of mine dies
One is particularly old now, Not sure how much longer she has and I don't know if I will actually feel bad or not but I know I should
When my brother died a few months ago out of the blue (he was otherwise perfectly healthy, just fell over with his lungs full of blood one day), I felt the same as you. I cried a lot when the doctors told us the bad news, but then it took about a week before I broke down one night. It was then a few weeks after that where I broke down again. In between is just days of feeling nothing. Maybe in a few more days you'll realize that you want to talk to her about something, and then it'll hit you. My condolences anon.
>people dying is still a thing
>year of our lord 2016
when will this shit meme end?
I want immortality made by medicine and technology.
>>27550966
Why the hell would anyone want to live on this planet forever? Death is a privilege as far as I'm concerned.
>>27550859
>>27550876
This.
My mom almost died twice and I didn't feel anything because I was sure she was going to get better, she HAD to get better. I was in an absurd state of denial and instead of feeling worried by her, I felt guilty I wasn't worried and I didn't feel sad. I only could think about me, and I still do.
I don't know what I will do when she dies for real, but I know I still feel like shit when I think about my attitude back then.
>>27550859
How old was she? Was she overweight? Genuinely interested as it seems more and more young people are dying of heart problems.
Advice from someone who has also experienced deaths in the family.
you aren't a monster, op. you are just used to dealing with death after experiencing the traumatic death of your father. use your strength to help our family cope. be their strength.
>>27551103
She was 28 and a little overweight.
There was a lot of blood in her intestines but doctors won't know if that was from organs shutting down from when her heart stopped during a heart attack, or if internal bleeding caused her heart to stop until they do an autopsy.
Hey OP. Sorry to hear about your sister. I don't think it's that weird how you feel. I was raised by my grandparents and loved them both dearly. When my grandfather died I was devastated but when my grandmother died I could handle it a lot better. I knew what to expect and feel the second time losing someone so it may be you are experiencing the same.
