ITT: Your deepest darkest secrets.
I'm missing a few toes because of a birth defect.
>>27545470
can you just post more euphoniums?
>I was born with extra bones in my big toes and had to have them surgically removed when i was 4
>>27545470
Why is that a secret. That's an interesting thing that would interest people to hear in social appropriate social situations
I make all my gfs gain weight while we're dating
My dad is an ex-president. I won't say which one but he had an affair with my mom. He secretly supports up to this day. You can probably guess which one but I'm not going to confirm or deny.
>>27546101
Is it Bill? That sky bastard gets around.
>>27546101
yeah ok kid
b;pxdasdasdas
>>27545877
I canI routinely think about my method of suicide but I never go through with it because my parents have put to much effort into me even though I'm a complete failure
>>27545470
There's nothing dark or deep about me I'm just an idiot. But by normie standards, I guess the fact that I am a virgin makes me a dangerous terrorist by default.
But hey your toe story is not dark or deep at all either.
>>27546101
Bad Bill
That I can speak Japanese, I guess
I've never even told anyone I know that I like weebshit, so suddenly revealing I've learned an entire language would be pretty awkward
I'm a nigger with a small cock
>>27545470
I likedupstepandchiptunes.
preferablytogether
>>27545470
I'm not sure if this happened or I just imagined it, but I'm almost sure I fingered my cousin when I was six or seven after seeing an article in a tabloid about the G point.
I'm addicted to drugs and I like a guy who thinks I'm impure just because I'm not a virgin, but really hes right for reasons he will never know.
homolust dictates every second of my everyday life
>>27546700
Why don't you ask her if she remembers?
>>27546853
Oh my, you're right. How didn't I think of that before?I would die before doing something like that.
I have to wear adult diapers because of intestinal issues.
It's destroyed my self image and if I ever get a gf they probably wouldst understand and be disgusted. At least that's what I tell my self because I hate it and want it gone.
I wanna draw hentai for a living but i feel like i'd disappoint 90% of the people i know.
I killed the family fish once. It wasn't on purpose but i don't regret it that fish was an asshole. Fuck you Bubbles you prick.
I sometimes feed my cat random things because hes curious and so am I. He enjoys fruitcake a lot.
Spiders are my favorite animals so i let them free-roam the house.
I've stolen two library books on two separate occasions.
>>27547083
I sometimes think about drawing shitty furry art for commissions, those faggots pay well and will eat up any shit that pleases their fetishes, but I don't have a graphic tablet and it seems too much of a hassle.
I fear that I will fail life after college. I absolutely suck at conversation and it is apparent to people that I am autistic. I would never be able to hold a job where socialization is required and I don't think I could get anything better than nightly janitorial work. I do not want to go to college but my parents force me too, I am plunging myself into debt I know I can't escape from and I don't think I could ever hold a job. The only reason I push myself through college is because my parents are the only ones in my life and if I have noone I will commit suicide. Im pretty sure theyll let me be NEET after not being able to get work because of how much hope they lose in the progress of time. I failed everyone in my life to some extent and I hate myself. This board did not ruin my life, I always felt bad but this board helped me figure out why and how to fix it a tiny bit.
>>27545470
I've been severely depressed my whole life, and have suicidal thoughts every day. If someone IRL ever found that out I'd probably go through with it due to shame
>>27545470
My penis has two holes.
>>27546514
>They hurt, but I don't hate pain.
>What? That's kind of hot.
kek. does this series have yuri?
>>27547599
Join a branch of the army
I commited domestic terrorism when I was 14.
>>27547599
You sound like the average robot. Hang in there.
I have too many things I'm too ashamed of to post about here, and I always regret hinting at them (or even pretty explicitly telling people about them) online. I'm pretty sure people I'm in contact with who go to places like this are turned off by how fucked up I am.
Ever since my boyfriend cheated on me I've been fantasizing about other guys
>>27547869
I am blind as a bat but I do think about joining the Navy or Coast Guard sometimes. As far as I know they don't give a shit about vision as long as corrective lenses correct.
I was a brony once. I have been autistic so I had even figurines. Once I went to a brony meeting and I remember everybody hates me there. That was my final sight That no one will ever like me even pony fuckers
>>27545470
>No longer consider myself a Christian while my family are all devout believers
>Hold left-leaning political views while my family are all on the far right
>My penis is slightly under 5"
>My favorite fetish is futanari
And of course, I'm a kissless virgin
>>27548100
>18-20 yr old anon makes his very own post
>>27548149
>18-20 yr old
Guess again. And being at odds with your family isn't easy when you actually care about them and know what it would do to them if they found out.
Very into gay zoo shit just for the animals.
>>27548100
literally my exact story. Except i kissed a girl once. She was 17... and homeless. She kissed me under an overpass and then ran away...
>>27548224
Sounds like something out of a movie.
>>27548224
i wish i could find a homeless qt to take in...
I masturbate to scat.And you just lost the game.
I have very bad anxiety and it has strong negative impact towards everything I do. I have only ever told this to my only friend and I basically got "why don't you just be yourself" as a response. Alcohol helped but now I crave it just by seeing an ad on a billboard. I smoked weed for a while because of how amazing it made me feel but it made my anxiety 100X worse.
>>27548242
Nah, true story. Swear to god.
We had been hanging out for a couple of months on and off. One day we were under an overpass just sharing stories of our child abuse and she told me to close my eyes, and then she kissed me. I kinda spazed, because holy fuck right? and then she got uncomfortable and left. I never really got to hang out with her again. It still makes me sad..
>>27548296
> fuk u anon
>>27545470
I made a pact with myself, If I'm not happy or hopeful of anything by 27, I'm free to an hero. I get the feeling of wanting to die everyday because I feel unprepared for the world once I finish college. I have the attention span of a fucking walnut and it's always been that way for me. I always got by the minimum because of that. Fuck knows what would happen if I live by myself. I can't see myself finishing college, getting a career job or having a family. Oh fuck, don't get me started on having a family. I can barely keep up with myself, fuck if I'll be able to keep up with other people. I hate going out and being forced to socialize. I won't have the skills needed to do things that are specific to socializing.
My parents are having another son so he can pass the torch if I go. I'll try to do everything in my power to give me positivity but in 6 years, that will be the turning point. I really don't want to be alive knowing that I'm a failure in my families eyes.
The only thing that gives me joy right now is when I jam with my acoustic. Vidya was, but it lost it's luster. I forget about everything going on. I may suck at it but thats the only time when I can be my full self.
>>27550054
Good luck, Anon. I hope you don't need to become an hero.
>>27546101
Is it Benjamin Franklin?
>>27545470
I have 4 nipples due to birth defect... terrified to take my shirt off when other people are around
>>27550196
That's quite interesting. Are you willing to post pics?
>>27550102
Thanks anon. I hope to feel good and confident of the future again someday.
I don't believe I'm human
Pls no bully I know you don't think it makes any sense but I've been like this all my conscious life.
>>27545470
How do you keep that secret? Do people just never see you without your shoes on?
>>27550213
Maybe I'll make a thread tomorrow I don't want to turn on lights/get out of bed
>>27550250
It seems you need professional help. But out of curiosity, what do you think you are?
>>27550250
What are you, then?
make this fucking original
>>27545470
I joke about wanting to murder and having voices in my head telling me to commit murder suicide, but these things are all true. I have it under control, though.
>>27545470
I fap to traps and butterfaces
I photoshop myself on all my photos.
>>27547599
If you still have the tab open;
I had that fear going in too, and I think it was one of the worst aspects of college, because I always felt like I was just living until the crash. Which I ultimately was, even though I've recovered in the aftermath.
Anyway, what your post reads like to me is that you actually have your issue identified, you just don't believe you can change it. There's certainly natural talent involved in whether you can socialize well or not; upbringing also plays a big part; but it's also a skill that can be learned and practiced. You can change that. It won't be easy but you can. Simple book to buy (or download the PDF of) is How to Win Friends and Influence People, you've heard of it before because it's been real good to a lot of people. I'm sure there's more resources elsewhere on the internet as well.
If you're afraid, you damn well should be, but it's not too late to face those fears.
Also, don't do this;
>>27547869
>>27548011
A few practical reasons; serving in the military sucks, there's rampant sexual abuse (yes, against men), your job prospects really aren't that much better afterward and America treats its vets like shit.
But the strongest particular reason is that young men like you join the military for structure to their lives, and you'll get that structure for exactly as long as you're in the military. After you're out, you'll be back on your own with the exact same host of issues you have now. It's better to face them now than going through a few tours of service and a lot of your youth first.
>>27545470
Don't really have any dark secrets, desu. Mostly because nothing is sacred to me.
I am an incredibly eccentric and extroverted person. I love being in company with other people and my friends always have to give the "He's a Hugger" excuse.
However I don't like to be touched. At all. Combined with a tendency to walk on my toes, and a recent understanding that I don't really understand/receive information as well as other people, I've become terrified that I'm autistic.
I'm not one of those screamey tard kids in the cafeteria, but I am someone posting on /r9k/ at 4:29 in the morning.
>>27545470
I have a couple that I won't ever post on here because gubmint, but this one is the mildest.
For roughly a year, my buddy and I, while wageslaving, would trade in smaller bills for $20 bills. Either of us would handle one an other''s bills and count $18 as $20 and put it in the register to trade for a twenty dollar bill.
There was not POS system since it was a mom and pop sort of place, and cash was basically unregulated.
We both hated our jobs and yeah.
I know we're just common thieves so spare the bullshit.
We used to call the process "eighteen dollar bills."
I've befriended many robots here, over the years but they all know me as some one else.
I don't know why, I just really love lying, and I lie about the stupidest shit. Have only been honest with one person so far.
>>27550358
>>27550364
That's a long story which is pointless to explain (because it'd make no sense without a discussion) and I don't want to. I don't even think about it like normal thoughts because it's very private. I keep it all stored away as a special type of thought which sounds nothing like me.
I really only posted here to relieve some pressure. It's not for you guy's sake. Thanks for reading, it helps a lot more than you think.
>>27550390
You photoshop your self onto your fap material's faces?
kek, nigga that's weird af
>>27550450
You're not a person, anon.
You're a carbohydrate. I'm protein.
>>27550468
>It actually sort of fits
But not close enough to worry that you know really.
>>27550390
>I Photoshop myself ontoy fap material
What the fuggg???
>>27545470
Me and my twin brother sucked each other's dicks when we were like 6. Neither of us knew what it was at the time. Didn't get hard or nothin. Just in the bath and decided he let's put our dicks in our mouths.
When I was 9 I was at my grandmother's house by myself and my grandmother, she had sharp pains in her chest and collapsed and i did nothing until about an hour later when I was convinced she was dead, I called my parents and 911. She always bullied me for having no friends.
Parents still praise me for how brave I was, and calling as soon as I noticed she was in pain
>>27550512
What gave you the idea? Did you watch gay porn or something?
>>27550450
I don't care about your story I just want to know what you think you are.
i.e. a ghost or a zombie
I mean there is actually a mental delusion where people believe they are dead. It's called the Cotard delusion.
>>27550390
that's degenerate and narcissistic
>>27550250
Is it like otherkin or like depersonalisation? I know I'm human but never really felt connected to the human race. Always felt like something was different, and not in a special snowflake kinda way. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm real, or present, as if I were temporally ahead or behind of the world.
>>27550250
Wait, do you think your mother was impregnated by aliens? That's cool.
I've been in a relationship with a 16 year old girl when I was 19first gf and she came onto me the crazy slut desu
>>27550654
I really don't see the issue with an age gap that small
i catfish people, because im bored.
all of my bfs thought im a qt
but im really not
>>27550654
See >>27550668
It's really not considered a problem.
>>27550607
Well I'm otherworldly in a deeper sense than ghost/dead. You'd probably appreciate it better as alien though.
>>27550628
>depersonalisation
I got that way later but I have that now. It's unrelated.
>Sometimes I don't feel like I'm real, or present
Well that does sound like DID.
>as if I were temporally ahead or behind of the world
I can relate to that literally but I'm not sure we're thinking the same thing here.
>>27550648
No the fetus was suppressed.
The 'NDA' is over so I can say that.
>be me
>lie chronically when ~15 years old
>lie about inconsequential things
>lie about really big stuff
>get so bad I don't remember what is true and false.
Today I don't lie,and I'm finished with medical school next year. Just imagine that, having me asyour doctorwhen I used to lie like there was no tomorrow.
>>27550417
>We used to call the process "eighteen dollar bills."
Inventive. When your autobiography comes out, you should call it "Autistic Thief: How I sometimes took $2 from the store where I worked".
>>27548301
I also have bad anxiety and tried talking about it with two friends once after I couldn't bring myself to ask a girl out. One of them didn't say anything and I think he understands it (hes really shy but still gets laid) the other one just said "lol just talk to girls and be confident I don't see where the problem is :^)" .
I guess that's why I should keep my problems to myself.
>>27550692
>NDA
With the government? If it makes you feel better, supposedly I am descended from the vampire, Elizabeth Bathory.
>>27550747
No it's a long and complicated story. It's with a syndicate which is interested in human-specific-characteristics research.
This is enough. I'm not replying.
>>27550692
>I'm otherworldly in a deeper sense than ghost/dead
Dissocianon here, this is kind of how I feel but probably more extreme in your case. I'm sure I am biologically human and I don't feel like a fox trapped in a human body or whatever, but I always felt "other" in some vague way.
If you have something already written you could pastebin, I would be interested in reading it. I understand it's probably difficult to put this sort of feeling into words, though.
There was a Swedish musician (Per "Dead" Ohlin) who medically died as a child after being beaten up, and since then he believed he was a corpse in some kind of post-death dream. He committed suicide in an attempt to wake up and go to the afterlife or something. Similar to the Cotard delusion. You might find his suicide note (pic related) interesting.
>Well that does sound like DID.
I've only felt depersonalised in that way during severe depression, although I experience mild dissociation quite frequently, e.g. tunnel vision and lapse of awareness (not panic attacks), or halfway through a conversation I'll realise I have no idea what we're talking about or what happened in the past two minutes, or my mind will go blank mid-sentence for a few seconds and then I can't at all remember what I was saying (thought blocking).
>I can relate to that literally but I'm not sure we're thinking the same thing here.
Possibly. For me this seems to be anxiety related. My brain is either speeding up or lagging behind, or speeding up to compensate for being behind. I sometimes think I have premonitions but I know it's really confirmation bias.
I'm down, fuck it.
>22, have drank myself to sleep every night for the past 3 years (getting better recently though)
>believe that my destiny is to be a famous entertainer and will kill myself if I don't make it
>painfully self-aware but still rely on projection and sophist arguments to get my points across
>impulsive, do really reckless shit every so often that I wouldn't want to get caught doing, like spending a bunch of money on stupid stuff or writing at length about ridiculous theories. recent example: I actually considered selling my car to buy a PSA 10 first edition base set charizard, hahah.
hmm... here come the real confessions
>drove drunk once before
>stalk everybody I know online when I'm bored
>cheated all throughout high school
>anal fetish, have put toys in my butt before (feels amazing fwiw, but shameful nonetheless)
>>27546514
Hello me, meet the real me...in my misfits way of life
>>27550881
I can relate to everything after and including
>I've only felt depersonalised in that way during severe depression
But it has very little to do with the other stuff.
Still interesting how similar we are.
>>27548088
Kinda spooks me that picture is my phone background
>>27545470
idk man, lifes pretty shit, not really any secrets about it.
>>27546101
Is it Bush senior? i bet it is.
>>27546101
It's Obama, [he's a black guy.]
>>27545470
>be me
>7 yo
>2002
>played sex with my cousin
>still have regrets, can't see her straight in the eyes
And I opened a snail shell with a knife the same year, how disgusting I am
Me and and my sister used to watch porn together when we were 10
