What are some crimes that you anons have committed?
>>27545243
I bummed ur mum m8
>>27545243
I stole an 8 pack of AA batteries from rite-aide
>>27545258
Get out normalfag 8 yr old
>>27545243
Shoplifted lots and lots of cough syrup. Used to have quite the liking for DXM.
>>27545243
i got caught shoplifting
i've done much worse, but haven't been caught for those things
>>27545243
> breaking into abandoned properties
> selling alcohol to minors
> public masturbation
>>27545243
>got detained for possessing a loaded snub nose .357 revolver after shooting at some kid when I was 7 years old
>lit a municipal building on fire as a pre-teen
>set fire to the woods next to a hospital
>threw m80s on a landing pad and prevent a helicopter from landing with a patient going to the ER as a teenager
>made an few improvised explosives (with drain-o; nothing major) and set them off inside of a movie theater as a teenager
>arrested and convicted twice for hacking as a teenager
>arrested and convicted for a few assault charges as a teenager
>reconfigured a punch-down block of a police station that was in their basement
>committed GTA several times with a few friends when I was 13
>sold 22-44 kg of weed a month a few years ago
>B&E'd a lot of telephone companies back in the late 90s
Who here /evil/?
Broke into school at night 4 prank
nice try FBI
nice try
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>>27545430
boy where was your daddy
>>27545487
At work. Both of my parents are still together.
>>27545285
Get out meanie no fun allowed creep
>>27545243
The metal tip of a semi expensive pencil i just bought fell off.
I went back to the student to to buy a similar one in a different lead size but also to steal a replacement tip.
it still haunts me to this day.
![[cheeki breeki intensifies].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ntI3zHx.jpg "[cheeki breeki intensifies].jpg")
A cafe near me had a gas explosion a few months back. Nobody has bothered to clean it up and the insurance was gonna pay for the whole thing so 2 weeks ago I went past the police line in full stalker gear at 3AM to take pictures and grab the tea.
Register was empty and a hobo was living in the cupboard. We scared the shit out of each other since my first instinct when hearing steps in the dark at an explosion site at 3AM was to grab a kitchen knife. We talked it out.
Pic related is the loot. 2 cans of powdered chai, the knife I brandished, a tea infuser. fancy grain coffee, expensive tea, 5 house blends, oil, spices, a marmalade, a cup, and 3 glasses of each kind.
Luckily there were no bloodsuckers or anomalies.
>>27545430
fucking chad desu
>>27545551
What is "censored"?
>>27545629
Some type of mug
>>27545629
The cup has the coffee shop's name so I can't have something like that lying around the internet now can I?
>>27545551
>Describing a crime you committed in explicit detail on the internet
m8, you're fucking dumb
>>27545675
Why do you think I'm here in the first place?
>>27545675
You do realize he didn't put any personal info / store names and the store wasn't even being used at the time?
>>27545673
I see, good stuff.
fabbing do CB :DDD
>>27545243
When I was 13(18 atm), over the course of about 4 months, I stole over 1K worth of Yugioh cards, as well as a shitton of Bakugan(lol if anyone remembers this, they were so cool) and candy.
>stealing
>illegal sale
>possesion of weed
>public intoxication
>fighting
>being in a gang
I just had consensual sex with my wife in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation
>>27545798
what gang?
not stopping at a stop sign
>>27545881
The nigherlovingcocklovingassholeeatingcucks, a very tough bunch around San Francisco bay area
>>27545881
Nothing special really. Just a bunch of kids with get rich quick schemes, like ed, edd and eddy
The worst I have been convicted of are aggravated assault and possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony
I've gotten arrested twice for public intoxication in Portland, Oregon. Multnomah county jail sucks.
>Possession of drugs (arrested twice, no charges yet)
>fucking a minor when I was 21 (she was 17)
>drove drunk as hell more times than I can count between the ages of 18 and 22
>stole hundreds of dollars from an employer
>participated in coke deals (i moved the stuff around but didn't know how much I was moving)
Probably lots of dumb shit I did when I was blackout drunk
>
>>27545243
when i was an edgy teen faggot:
napster, nuff said
vandalism, > $2000 over four or five incidents. i feel awful now but i thought it was merry fun at the time.
shoplifting < $10, like twice. felt bad immediately.
reckless driving
underage drinking
providing alcohol to minors, don't feel bad at all about these ones
in my adult life:
possession and distribution of controlled substances, because who gives a shit
speeding, because who gives a shit
manufacturing a schedule 1 substance (20-30yrs in prison + $250k-$500k fine) is certainly something that I would never do, officers
>>27545430
>last greentext
Calm down there Kevin Mitnick.
>>27545863
>procreation
you mean you came in her?
>hang this weirdo!
Besides whatever crimes are related to piracy and dumb shit that is not enforced like jaywalking and bike helmet laws.
In order from least serious to most
Trespassing, unlawful entry, aggravated trespass, Possession of burglar`s tools.(Urban Exploring and stealth action fun. I just like sneaking around and looking at stuff)
Distribution of obscenity using the US postal service (it is technically illegal to send hardcore porn in the mail.)
Possession of Child pornography (when I was a teen. I deleted that stuff and got rid of the hard drive years ago.)child molestationagain when I was a teen, but the statute of limitations ran out.
That is all I really remember. I am sure their is a bunch of little shit that is not worth bringing up or remembering.
>>27545423
>public masturbation
storytime, naaaaaoooo
I always go at least 140MPH on the freeway whilst smoking a fat blunt and drinking some fine Hennessey.
