I have got to the point now where I can't approach anyone in a social situation anymore.
It is physically impossible for me to initiate conversation with anyone, they must start with me. That includes online and real interactions. The only reason I can make this thread is because I'm not directly talking to anyone.
No one liked, likes or will like me. I will be alone for the rest of my life. No one cared or will care. I'm but a ghost which no one pays any attention to. What's the point in even living. The only thing stopping me is my survival instinct.
My 'friends' all left me when I relapsed into depression earlier in the year, they see me every day sat on my own but not a single one of them has spoken to me when they see me clearly on the edge of losing a grip on reality. That proves that no one liked me or ever will do.
I see all these faggots getting their moral points on social media saying how they are so compassionate to people but where were they for me. No one cares about me, they don't even notice my existence. I wish I could die but I can't even do that.
Earlier last year I meant not this year.
I am similarly socially retarded, but lately I've just figured wtf and forced myself to talk to people on some basis even if I am super anxious.
It helps to lower your standards ...like don't expect a friend for life to come out of every conversation; don't even expect not to say something stupid or embarrass yourself, because the truth is if you haven't been socializing that much, that is exactly what will happen.
But with every conversation disaster, you get a little better, things come a little more naturally, and you become a little more confident. But there is really no alternative other than to put yourself out there and try. Relish the opportunity and don't worry about the outcome.
As far as your friends go, the fact that you had any (no matter how casual) to begin with shows you aren't as hopeless as you're acting right now. Depressed people give off bad vibes and are awkwawrd to approach, even for friends. They might feel like you want space or something, or maybe they are just crappy and shallow. It doesn't matter, really, because they only way to make good friends remains the same: socialize.
>>27543162
I physically cannot approach anyone. I just can't.
I know for a fact that if it was anyone else in my position they would have 10s of people crowding around them asking "what's up" "want to hang". But no, because it's me some ugly useless guy no one cares. They never will.
I've never had a proper friend
I've never had someone phone number
I've never had a conversation on social media
I've never spoken to someone because *they* wanted to talk to me.
Even as a child no one wanted to work with me in groups because I'm ugly and a bad person.
I'm not autistic, fat or unhygienic. I'm just ugly and short with no personality at all. I need to die but I'm too pussy to do it.
>>27542740
>My 'friends' all left me when I relapsed into depression earlier in the year, they see me every day sat on my own but not a single one of them has spoken to me when they see me clearly on the edge of losing a grip on reality. That proves that no one liked me or ever will do.
I had the same thing happen to me not once but twice. Now I hate everyone and don't even bother making conversation unless I can get something out of it.
>>27543337
I'm more than halfway done with my semester and no one has said "want to hang" yet; my biggest crowd was 2 people and desu I was only part of a crowd around someone else.
I'm really sorry to hear all that, but you and I are speaking right now though. I think social media and online chat in general would be a good first step if you can't bring yourself to speak irl yet.
Idk how you look, but why are you saying you're a bad person? I find that unlikely because it's just something say when they're depressed. Your self-image is probably way off mark right now.
Worst case scenario you really are short and ugly, but I've seen all sorts of ugly people have conversations and friends, etc. I'm sure you have too. So don't just say that you're soooo much worse than everyone else that it's impossible. I'm certainly not good looking, but I talk to 3-4 people pretty regularly at school. It's nothing special and I wouldln't call them friends, but it at least is improving my social skillz.
Don't talk about suicide before you've evene tried what I've said. Do you have skype or something?
It is not physically impossible, you're just a huge pussy.
You need to put yourself in a situation in which your comfort zone is talking to people. For example, betting money on saying hi to a stranger in a public place, so if you stay shy like a fag you lose something tangible.
Now, how to find someone to bet with, that's your problem. It was just an example, the concept remains. It worked for me and I thought I was gonna die alone, I'm still alone but I can talk to people now.
>>27543542
If I was a 'good' person then why would they all leave me. I was nothing but a burden to them so they rightly ditched me. I can't blame them for losing dead weight.
I'm not smart, I'm not funny and I'm certainly not cool.
I see all these people complaining about how they were 'friend zoned'. I would love that. At least I would have a friend who actually cared about me.
Everyday I want to die, but I will never have the courage to do it only making me feel worse.
All I want is a friend. I'm not asking for some 10/10 girlfriend or loads of money. All I want is someone to talk to, I have so much to say yet no one ever listened to me.
I'd rather communicate over steam if you are serious. Skype is buggy on my system.
>>27543665
I've never denied that I am a pussy. I am the lowest of the low, deserving of death. That doesn't change the fact that I will be alone for the rest of my life.
I don't enjoy my comfort zone because that is being alone. I have no courage to talk to anyone because everyone hates me, everyone laughs at me.
At least once a week I am verbally abused by people I have never even met before. And at least once a month I am physically abused by these same people yet no one cares. If I reported it nothing would change, I'll still be a loser deserving of death.
>>27543782
maybe they left because they were all bad and immature, or because guys suck at being friendly to people who are down, there are many reasons.
Idk anything about how cool or funny or smart or cute you are. I get the feeling you're being extra hard on yourself, and even if you aren't half the people I see on a given day or across the board average in all those domains.
I'm willing to talk to you and hopefully we can be friends. I only have like one right now so I can appreciate your situation. what's your steam then?
btw if you have a steam account that means you game, so you're already at least a little interesting
>>27544074
Steam id: Officer Tenpenny
The one from the UK with the KSP background.
You say that they must have been "bad or immature" yet surely the more likely option is that *I* was the bad person. They must have barely tolerated my existence then laughed behind my back at every opportunity.
I'm from the UK so I'll have to bed soon.
>>27544250
cool, I'll add you asap.
I didn't say they were those things for sure, I'm just volunteering other possibilities besides you being the most unlikable person on earth lol.
I'm going to bed soon too, but I'll hit you up tomorrow around this time. Btw what games are you into?
>>27544404
I've been burned out recently.
Not finding anything fun anymore.
I used to be into loads of stuff. EU4, KSP, arma, r6 siege, xcom, red orchestra ect. I've not had any motivation though.
