I was just invited to a wedding that will last an entire day.
Apparently there is no way I can reject it, as the person getting married is a close co worker of mine.
How do I survive this? I have 0 social skills, hate dancing, hate being around people, hate pretty much everything except my work.
Holy fuck... last time I was at a wedding was when I was a child, my parents kept bringing me to these shitfests and there was literally nothing I could do to avoid them.
Now, I actually HAVE TO GO ALONE.
WHAT THE FUCK
WHAT
THE
FUCK
Find the oldest people in the room and sit with them.
Just don't go, simple as that.
Find an excuse.
Get drunk
Original
>>27532283
This is the key, also take something to smoke to have breaks and leave to take a break
>>27532378
Fuck I shoulda worded that correctly
>>27532240
just get tipsy, it'll be fine
>>27532240
>go to wedding
>leave after they vow
Simple
Dude wedding receptions are fun. I'm one of the most socially retarded people in the world and I like them.
Pretend you're bringing a girl. You have a new girlfriend. You're close. Her name is Bobbi. She doesn't like her real name, Roberta. Tell your coworker she dots the i in her name with a little heart, sell your story.
Say you're bringing her to the wedding. You can't wait for everyone to meet her, she's so excited from everything she's heard.
Then three days before? She leaves you. You caught her sucking Tyrone's massive schlong, and Daquan was just zipping up his pants. What the hell were they all doing in that closet, anyway?
You're heartbroken, and your coworker knows it. Say you know it's late, can you pay for her meal? You don't want to ruin things. Cry more. He's going to look at you and see you at your most pathetic, a miserable sponge he'd have to babysit on his special day.
>That's okay anon, you don't have to come.
Did you consider faking sick?
>>27532422
This.
There's usually too much people to notice if someone slips off after a while.
If they do notice and ask afterwards where you went you could just say that you were feeling sick.
>>27532466
given how many times I have rejected my co worker's invites to social events, I think he will call out bullshit on that.
>>27532240
Just tell him you don't do weddings.
Dude weddings are awesome, free food and booze, girls all dressed up and hot, silly antics once everyone is loaded. It's pretty awesome and also a place where people atrike up conversations with each other out of thin air so even if you don't know anyone you always end up finding a drinking buddy or who knows maybe a qt.
Are you from the US? I'm Southern Euro so maybe weddings are different there.
OP are you me?
I got a wedding invite too and I "have to" go.
I don't wanna see some fembot "settling down" after years on the cock carousel. It's just too much man.
>>27532456
Loooooool gtfo tripfag with your retarded ideas. why would you weave this kind of nonsense?
just go and get drunk, anon.
>>27532824
What?
A wedding is a time where you sit down bored in church as everyone jerks off the happy couple, sing boring hymns, watch them kiss and be happy, then go and eat some shitty cold sandwhiches surrounded by boring old cunts you've never met.
>>27533156
Did you actually just take something with "Tyrone's massive schlong" in it seriously?
Your autism is showing, anon.
>>27532240
can you do the dougie?
>>27532621
just stay a little then say you gotta help your family out with av issue or something. Say your mom got hurt or whatever, and that you have to leave early. Boom problem solved
>>27533162
are you mormon or something? what kind of wack ass weddings are you going to?
>>27532311
Literally this simple. Just make up a fucking excuse or don't even go. Don't let some normie walk all over you and tell you what to do.
Jesus I know we're all autistic here, but grow a fucking spine.
>>27532240
Girls like attending weddings. Just ask a cute girl/friend/co-worker etc. if she wants to come along with you.
>>27533168
no it's just amusing that you tried so hard to be funny and failed.
>>27532240
Can't you just sit somewhere and look at people? Since you will be alone, you can do whatever you want and if asked why don't you go dance or whatever, just say that you are alone and don't know anyone. Simple as that. Also, as someone said free food.
you faggots constantly complain about tfw no gf, and then try to avoid literally the easiest place to find a gf?
robot are incorrigible.
baka.
>>27533239
Yet you said "retarded ideas".
Keep on backpedalling, autismanon.
>>27533223
Well it's the only wedding I've been to, of two boring friends of my parents, one of which is literally an undertaker. All agnostic but of course for the wedding day everyone becomes a christian.
Perhaps this isn't a fair judgement?
are you to stupid to understand that after the ceremony and the first bit of the reception you can leave right? You do understand that while some people will stay the entire time not everyone can, right?
>>27533301
Nope, not a fair judgment. most weddings involve food/drink/music/drunken sluts etc.
OPEN
B
A
R
>>27533304
this is why you faggots have no gf or friends.
>have no friends
>will never have to worry about being invited to a wedding and having to lie to not got
feelsgoodmanwait..
>>27533320
There were no girls there under 30.
Thank you anon, I will look upon weddings more favourablyIf I ever get invited to one again ; _ ;
>>27532240
Get drunk make a racist homophobic antisemitic misogynistic toast. Never get invited again. Or you could stop being a fag and bang a bridemaid.
>>27533231
It may actually be worth going if he's going to be surrounded by normies at his place of work who will interpret him not going as him being a snobby cunt regardless of what excuse he musters up. Suffering through one day of hell to avoid several days of torment at work per week seems like a decent trade off and will give him a couple of normie approval points which always helps if you're forced to interact with them for the majority of the week.
>>27532240
Go and just stay for the actual ceremony then leave
It is not that hard, you actually have to keep quiet during the ceremony.
The worst part is the reception when everyone is trying to get you out on the dance floor
You fucking people know i cant dance and your just going to fucking laugh at me if i try reeeeeee
Say hi to this co-worker so he knows you were there, then find a quiet corner of the room to sit alone and get drunk on free alcohol
>>27532311
here's what you do. next time you see your coworker tell him your mother had to go to the hospital last night. i don't know you, you make it up. still, tell him you're looking forward to the wedding. on the day of the wedding see if you can give a call to someone there and tell them you won't be coming. you're mother's condition has worsened and you had to go back to the hospital.
>>27533237
No they don't.
They see it as an attempt to gauge their feelings about marriage.
OP should do what I do.
I hire an 11/10 Asian escort who looks way better than the bride.
I've been banned from all family weddings since.
Jokes on them lol
>>27532240
Tell them you contracted asthmatic bronchitis, that shit's hardcore, they'll let you off
>>27532240
>be 19 year old robot
>26 year old brother is robot too
>neither of us will ever have to be a best man
It's the little benefits that keep you going...
Just chill in the background and eat a lot of food, OP. Be polite when people talk to you, but they might not, if it's a big wedding that's fine.
>>27532240
stay long enough so everyone sees your face and duck out early. don't make a scene when you leave just leave.
