I'm not sure how to start this but I recently remembered a memory that I think was repressed for well over a decade. I don't know if repressed memories are real but I remember getting depressed and being much more anxious right after I remember it happening which was only gotten worse over the past 10+ years. I was around 5 years old when I remember it happening and I don't know what to do because if it is real then I can't do anything about it because I don't remember the guys face that well. I really hope that I'm just making up a memory because I'm crazy or something but I don't know how to handle this. Have any of you had repressed memories? I've been thinking a lot about it for the past few days and even though I feel a lot calmer right now I still don't know if that memory is real or not and it's driving me crazy.
i am pretty sure i was molested by my cousin (who is nuts--tourette's, ocd, bipolar, etc.) when i was pretty young, maybe 5 or so. i don't really have solid memories of it, but the emotional experience of trying to remember what that time was like really suggests to me that i'm just not going to let myself access those memories.
which is fine with me, really. it's not like i can do anything about it, nor would i want to. all i can really control is how i feel and i choose to not really worry about it
achieve serenity, anon
>>27527098
That fucking sucks, I'm sorry to hear about that anon. I don't know how you're able to feel indifferent about it and I wish I could but I just feel so fucking ashamed and angry, I wish there was something I could do.
Then why haven't you asked your family members then?
Forgive me for being rude, but I'm pretty sure you would've remembered it clear as day if such an event happened in your life.
>>27527073
Even if it is real it isnt your fault anon. Dont ruin your life because of it
>>27527098
How do you choose to not give a shit about it. I really want to be able to not care since he was basically a stranger and there's no chance of me being able to find him but I just can't no matter how hard I try. How do you do it?
>>27527173
I remember him telling me that it was a secret and that if I told anyone I'd get in a lot of trouble . I was pretty gullible at the time and I was scared by an adult seriously threatening me and I kind of believed him because when back then I thought that all adults were very intelligent and trustworthy. I was only 5 and I didn't even know about sex at the time so I didn't even know what was going on it just felt painful and wrong. I did try to tell my mom one time though because my butt was hurting from it and I came into her home office while she was on a phone call crying and sobbing and started yelling how my butt hurt and she just thought I had indigestion or something and was being pathetic or attention seeking so she told me no to interrupt her. I was too embarrassed after that to try telling her again.
I was sexually assulted by my older cousin. She would babysit me
(4yearsolder). And do stuff to me.
Heh she got married last year and had a kid
Im forever alone because im mentally fucked from it and i have never said anything until right now.
Idk but I recently remembered this memory of someone I know grabbing me down there repeatedly over a time period nothing more but it's weird because I also remember a time when I would get a strong pleasure an almost sexual thrill when I was younger (before puberty) when I would hit little kids really hard in the nuts idk how to feel about that and if they're related
I was sexually assulted by my older cousin. She would babysit me
(4yearsolder). And do stuff to me.
Heh she got married last year and had a kid
Im forever alone because im mentally fucked from it and i have never said anything until right now. Recently i have been getting better though. When i realised i was a victim of it. I quit drinking cold turkey. I was an alcholic. And i started lifting again
>>27527265
>>27527287
Ooppss double post fucking mobile browser zergbet
>>27527265
That's fucked up anon, I'm sorry to hear about it. It's good to hear that you're doing something about it. Even if your family doesn't believe you, you should find a way to get back at that piece of shit for what they did to you.
>>27527269
It wouldn't be surprised if it's related to what that person did to you. I know how confusing and frustrating it is to wonder about how stuff like that has affected you.
I don't know when I remembered it or if it was always a memory... But I remember walking into my dads room at 5 years old and sucking him off. I'm male...
The memory was backed up when I found out about his trials regarding him molesting girls as far back as the 80s
>>27527287
That's the right thing to do anon, keep on improving yourself and stay sober.
>>27527308
Honestly i went to her wedding reception and got conpletley trashed. It was before i quit drinking. People thought it was just because i loked drinking but this was like drinking out of spite idk. I drank even more the usual and got thrown out. I the preceded yo have a mental break down before getting a ride home from a family member. I was acting very voilent and nuts lol. I remember throwing off my suit jacket and telling a grooms man i woild kill him which is why i got grabbed by security
>>27527341
Damn, I can't imagine what it must be like to learn that about your Dad and what he did to you that's some heavy shit, I hope you're able to work through it.
>>27527361
I think thing that set me off most that day is she married a guy from a pretty rich family and wont have to do shit for the rest of her life. Hell dont get me wrong im friends with this guy i knew him before she even dated him lol. Its just a ficked situation. My secret will die with me and inly 4chan will know
>>27527073
Your life is so boring you started making shit up to make it more interesting
Lmao
Go back to your /soc/ tier "mental" """""disabilities""""" threads
>>27527379
For me to walk into my dads room and do that suggests that he did so much more I can't remember... My life is fucked, my mum and her bf were abusive too (albeit not sexually)look out for me in the news anon...
>>27527361
That must have been really embarrassing man, it must be horrible that no one believed you. I can't blame you though If I was in your situation I definitely would have attacked her. If you ever try to get back at her for that make sure you don't do something stupid that gets you caught.
>>27527426
Don't let them define your life anon, I know that sounds useless and I'm struggling and failing for the most part to get over what's happened to me but you have to keep trying everyday to do something small to improve your life. Whatever it is that makes you happy you just have to work on it. I haven't been very good about practicing self improvement myself but sometimes I try to at least do a few push ups or something.
>>27527460
You're strong and have a brilliant mindset. Well done
>>27527389
The fact that she's set for life now is bullshit. There has to be something that you can do. If you were good friends with this guy maybe you can try to talk to him or someone who knows her. If you can't convince anyone that don't give up on giving her what she deserves. People like that don't deserve to be happy.
>>27527411
>Your life is so boring you started making shit up to make it more interesting
I really hope that this is the case but I doubt it.
>>27527482
thanks, we just have to keep trying
>>27527496
Idk at this point i just dont give a shit anymore. Im working on me thats my main concern. She was always considered the golden apple in my family. She always had good grades 4.0gpa or higher idk. She set state records for track. Had really good scholorship offers. Etc. I do know one of her dirty secrets. I heard it from my other cousin who i was good friends with and is her age. He moved away though. He said she had a huge adderall problem and he supplied her alot. (He was always considered a blacksheep and fucked over until he moved now everyone acts nice over facebook fucking losers)
It didn't bother you any before you remembered it. Just carry on like that. You don't have a disease and you're intact, that shit was so many years ago it's not even an issue anymore. If you still can't deal with it I suggest suicide. Works every time.
>>27527610
It's probably healthier to work on yourself but knowing that she has an adderall addiction is something to remember if you ever change your mind.
>>27527640
I wish I could just carry on with my life like I was before.
>>27527707
Yeah yeah yezzzzir
Did he cum inside? :^)
