I never thought I would get to this point today /r9k/, but today was the first time I contemplated suicide and the idea seemed uplifting. I got a headrush fantasizing about splattering my guts all over the pavement as a result of jumping off of the building I was walking in today, but at the same time it felt like there was a sort of "empty" feeling building in my chest. As if there was a hole or something?
I don't know if this makes sense to you guys or not. Can anyone relate? Also, what is it like from here on out if I don't get out of this rut?
try to give yourself a purpose. fix your temporary problems. been there almost done that.
tfw want jump off a building
brain: no
>>27522411
For me, it's fantasizing about walking out into the forest and quietly freezing to death.
The idea of drifting off peacefully into the void is comforting.
>>27522440
>fix your temporary problems
I am currently in the process of unfucking my shit up, and it's going good so far, but the stress is killing me and if I don't make it I don't know what I will do.
>>27522472
Fuck survival instincts
>>27522411
yeah i can relate. it looks appealing and it gives you a weird sense of hope.
When i actually think about it though i wonder if a reality this horrible can actually be escaped so easily. i really hope so.
>went missing for a few days; my roommates realized I was gone when my room door was still shut
>had checked into a hotel
>wrote my letter, while the tub was filling.
>when I finished my letter, I started think about people that would be devastated by my loss and how hurt they would be.
>then something clicked...all my fears...they vanished. I kept thinking to myself, If I got to a point where I was going to off myself...then I should simply live carefree.
>checked out. went back home, and now I don't give two fucks about anything. Want to spontaneously go on vacation? no problem. Bang a hooker? no problem. Want that motorcycle?-- bought it. No problem.
>The anxieties and depression went away after a month, when I started to change the way I thought about things.
>Life now is not something to brag about, but it is a 1000% better than what it used to be. Friends say I changed...something good in me changed and see me in a new light.
>I have no reason to go back in to that drowning dark shadow of mine where I was afraid of everything, overthought everything, and felt angst toward everything.
>try it. best of luck to you.
>>27522646
Yeah then somehow you end up in jail and tyrone fucks your butt up
>>27522678
I'm not saying go on a fucking shooting spree or start stealing shit.
All the little shit you were afraid of doing because of confidence, or afraid of what other would have thought of you. These new things you allow yourself to open up to, brings new experiences that you never knew you were missing out on.
All I'm saying is that whatever clicked with me that night, worked. I can't say the same thing with others as everyone's situation is different.
>>27522793
>Bang a hooker? no problem.
Till the cops honeypot and you fell for it
>>27522411
I find it weird that normal people don't think about it
>>27522646
Is this what happens why you want to kill yourself but then realize that you're rich?
I can't just do any of that, I'm poor >>27522646
>>27522411
i have never really got that feeling. for me its more like once i reach a point where i can no longer keep going im just going to off myself. i dont really attach any emotion to it, once i've became tired of life i guess its just the next journey.
>>27522896
I'm not rich, but I do have a job making pay check to pay check. I've always been very conservative with money. I can keep track of most shit I buy, and make sacrifices.
At the end of it all, as I said before...everyone's circumstances are different.
>>27522831
class 1 misdemeanor. Nothing a lawyer can't get you out of. It's the same thing as getting caught with weed without the intent to sell and/or distribute.
