I have a question I have always wondered.
How do you position your dick when you shit?
When I shit I always need to pee so I need my dick inside the bowl in some way. But if I put it in the bowl it ALWAYS touched the side or dips in the water.
My routine
>Rub cheeks with hands due to cold seat
>Spread my cheeks with my hands for minimum contact with cheeks and turd
>Sit down quickly before cheeks come back together
>I then flip my balls on the seat and tuck my dick half under my thigh so it can pee into the bowl yet not touch it
It this normal? I feel so god dam autistic doing this for the last 25 years !!!
I have a small penis so it's not a problem :(
You want an honest good tip?
Learn to squat shit. Either use a stool or put your feet on the seat. It will solve both the problems of le touch and cheeks-shit contact.
>>27507652
good question op. I always find that sitting on the open frame is enough to automatically spread my buttcheeks so I dont have that much prep. And I hold my dick down with my left hand the whole time unless im there for too long
>>27507691
But then won't you shit on your balls?
I am dead serious.
>Squat position
>Balls and dick now handing so you can piss in the bowl
>Shit goes directly onto balls
Am I missing something here?
>>27507707
Do you have a poor understanding of your own anatomy? Get naked and squat and you'll see how ridiculous that is.
>>27507739
Mate are you retarded? Don't make me break out my camera just to show you that I can shit on my balls.
Squatter of 27 years reporting in. I did this since I can remember and it always seemed natural to me. Sitting on the seat to shit seems hella unnatural to me.
There is not possibility that dick and balls can touch shit while squatting.
>>27507800
You've got the wrong idea of a squat, it's deeper than that.
>>27507800
see attached
>>27507852
>>27507856
I am still right man. Look at pic related.
This guy can EASILY take at least 1/3 of his turd directly onto his sack before it hits the bowl.
>>27507880
>>27507856
>>27507652
why the fuck do i browse this board
what am i doing with my life
>>27507896
Sounds like we have a normie on our board.
>>27507896
My sides are in orbit
>blox
>>27507880
Yeah just go ahead and ignore the people telling you that that's never happened in a lifetime of squatshitting because it doesn't align with your poorly thought out conception of male anatomy. Nevermind that you dangle closer to your arsehole when sat. Whatever, your loss.
>>27507880
my youngest brother is retarded and looks exactly like a kid version of this.
Breaks my heart when I see his future.
>>27507880
>mfw everyone is now opening that picture to see this retards face
>Then slowly scrolling down to his nutsack dangling over the toilet
>Then looking up and down to see if his nutsack is indeed within the trajectory of the shit that will come out of his asshole
>>27507954
Having a massive sack could have its upsides I guess
>>27507954
Don't feel to bad. The kids whole life would be an absolute blast.
I wish I would be an ignorant as a retard.
>>27507652
>or dips in the water.
You probably have a bigger penis than most people so kudos to you for that. But yeah, I hate the feeling of my dick touching the toilet bowl, and there is always the accidental splash of shit water when taking a big dump. Thus, I only shit in the mornings and then take a shower afterwards, and since I only shit once a day it works out well. You dont have to walk around all day knowing that your genitals are dirty
>>27507971
kinda looks like his ballsack get all the braincells, that shit looks like it could stab someone in any moment, and i', not talking about the tard
>>27507652
how fucking stupid are you?
>sit down
>hold dick with hand because I don't use my hands to shit
forreal
>>27508039
>hold dick with hand because I don't use my hands to shit
>You then piss all over your hand
Try again
>>27507994
good point man, good point.
>dips in the water
Blackbot detected.
>>27507896
Fresh off the boat from Reddit, aye? Yeah, I remember when I was like you.
>>27508116
Hardly, my bowl just fills with water very high, in the bowl.
One turd gives a big splash onto my anus
>>27508058
you hold the shaft
this thread has to be bait I genuinely don't believe anybody is this stupid
>>27507652
>dips in the water
Is your dick a fucking anaconda?
>>27507856
might I suggest...
>>27507652
This reminds me, I haven't taken a shit in 4 days.
Thanks OP.
