i conceal sewing needles in my clothes. at any given time there are 10-25 sewing needles hidden on my person. i'm well versed in human anatomy and can end a life without force and without there even being a sign of struggle, but all the while i look completely unarmed. do you have any idea how hard it is to remove a sewing needle once its embedded into the body? you don't want this in your eye or any artery. you definitely don't want one of these embedded into any of your joints
>>27476903
You should become a real life superhero, op.
be careful not to cut yourself with that edge
![[Ureshii]Dennou_Coil_19[D64E6367].avi_snapshot_16.23_[2014.02.21_12.59.05].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ekkOTgL.jpg "[Ureshii]Dennou_Coil_19[D64E6367].avi_snapshot_16.23_[2014.02.21_12.59.05].jpg")
>>27476903
I'm actually scared now. Well done, OP.
What happens if you trip on the stairs while wearing 10-25 sewing needles?
>follow OP down a dark alley
>pull knife and tell her to give me her purse
>Indignant, blood thirsty grin on her face
>she reaches into her sleeve and attempts to draw her sewing needle
>can't grip because stress sweat
>stab
>OP crumples to the ground
>I stomp her hands and take her purse
>>27477185
any number of awful things
i have them all hidden in places where they're most likely not going to hit anything vital should something like that occur
>>27476919
Like a really low budget one.
>OP passes though a metal detector
>beeep beep beeeeep
>has to remove 20-odd needles
>attracting stares
>"You're going to have to come with us, ma'am."
lmao
>man died today when he tripped over the curb
>puncturing himself with 25+ needles he had hidden on his person
you are a housecat who dreams of being a tiger so much so you paint stripes on yourself.
>>27477220
>implying im girl
>implying you'd follow a 6'2 230 pound male down a dark alley
>implying i'd go for the sleeve needle rather than kick your groin with the boot needle all the while pretending to diffuse the situation and "not wanting no trouble"
>>27477291
The Frugal Frenzy
>>27477361
is that cum on ur boot m8
>>27476903
Great plan but how are you going to hold the needles when you don't even have any fingers? "Look out that fingerless man has needles embedded into his shirt! He's a maniac!"
>>27477361
clean your room. i can smell it, and you, from here.
plus lol at your op. really hoping for your sake its a troll.
>>27477361
>boot needle
Top kek
just buy a gun you fucking retard
>>27477361
>kick your groin with the boot needle
>>27477484
Needle man would never stoop to such pleb-tier weaponry.
>>27477484
people are cracking down on guns too hard. in the cities here legislator are passing bogus ordinances where you can't have any gun and you can even catch jail time/lose your permit for defending yourself against an aggressor, the state law (of north dakota) preempts any ordinance such as this but taxpayer money fueled lawmakers are getting away with this and there's nothing you can really do
Sounds like you're really taking the EDGE off of 8th grade
>>27477549
south dakota***
>>27477549
Aye. It's truly the dawn of the needle age.
>>27477462
>a usb cord
>a penny
>a shoestring
>various scentless objects scattered about as well as some type of sock / cloth based product?
Yeah don't see how that's going to emit a fucking stench you sperg. Messy maybe but not dirty.
>I can smell it, and you, from here.
Maybe that's your own fucking stench in your room you dummy. Take your own advice.
>>27477361
How do you walk without the needle bending as your foot rotates forward?
>Waddle Waddle Waddle I'm dangerous
:^)
>>27476903
>people ask me why I don't hesitate
Shit like this. Soon as you get a signal take 'em down immediately.
>>27476919
I found your arch-nemesis op.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zamora_the_Torture_King
>>27477585
You gotz to shampoo that carpet needle man.
I've fallen into cacti before, OP. Why am I not dead? I had many little natural needles stuck in me. Am I your natural born enemy with my immunity to tiny pricks?
>>27477665
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tmzbosye2-Y
But seriously, you two should exchange skypes with each other and start fighting.
>>27476903
how many in your collection needlebro?
have you ever had to use them in real life?
>>27477665
Was you mother an alien and your father an acupuncturist?
>>27477597
>How do you walk without the needle bending as your foot rotates forward?
simple. you make it point upwards instead of forward
>>27477665
because you werent needled by the needle man
i conceal a firearm on my person. at any given time there are 12 9mm rounds hidden on my person. i'm well versed in human anatomy and can end a life with one shot and with there even being a sign of struggle, but all the while i look completely unarmed. do you have any idea how hard it is to remove a bullet once its embedded into the body? you don't want this in your eye or any artery. you definitely don't want a bullet embedded into any of your joints
>>27477361
F A T A S S
A
T
>>27477700
Both tbqhwyf
>>27477361
Clean your room you underage slob
>>27476939
overlooked gold
>>27476903
This was saved for a cringe thread, you are pathetic as fuck
i conceal c-4 on my person. at any given time there are 2 500g explosives hidden on my person. i'm well versed in human anatomy and can end a life with one explosion and with there even being a sign of struggle, but all the while i look completely unarmed. do you have any idea how hard it is to remove shrapnel once its embedded into the body? you don't want this in your eye or any artery. you definitely don't want a hole in any of your joints
>>27477612
you won't receive a signal. i simply diffuse the situation by pretending to give the aggressor what they want until a false sense of security has been established
>>27477717
by the time you even realize there's a threat your hand won't even be halfway to your place of concealment.
>9mm
>>27477712
But what if you accidentally bump into an innocent bystander and stab them?
>>27477843
Collateral damage in OP's war on crime.
>Be OP
>Walk past some guy
>"Excuse me sir"
>This guy is clearly gonna attack me!
>"B-back off! I-i'll stab you!"
>"Sir i just want some direc-"
>REEEEEEE
>Stab him in the chest with the needles 20 fucking times
>Decide it's not good enough
>Kick him in the balls with the boot needle
>Needle penetrates his ballsack
>Feel good killing innocent people who wanted directions to the nearest brothel
>>27477843
when you have a needle sticking out of your boot you tend to take more care than you might have otherwise. i wouldnt want to stab someones achilles by accident
>>27477549
Wait, so in your state you can get jailed for defending yourself and thats why you won't get a gun? So instead, you use needles, which evidently don't count, even if by some miracle this somehow worked?
>>27477712
You know if some faggot like you pulled a needle on me id knock your teeth out M8, where are you from
>>27476903
>op says this
>gets knocked out in one punch by a guyguy 3 inches taller than him
>kek
>>27477965
>pulled a needle
kek
I remember being bored as a kid, but really man? You took the time to take pictures and shit?
>>27477585
How do you feel about knitting needles?
>>27476903
Underage massive faggot detected, my sides when you "needle up a school" cuz chads beating your ass everyday OK columbine bed time for you
my reasons for wasting time responding to you is because you are no doubt going to cry out for attention at a later date and that is going to further inconvenience me by wasting my time scrolling past it, and it is my (no doubt) wasted hope that you are either going to die before then (hopefully you are going to be proactive in this venture) or learn from this and be better then you are or stay silent in the background where you belong.
your existence is nothing but a mere sigh of mediocrity that is exhaled from everyone as they struggle to find the effort to cringe at your shit post.
this post is shit and you should feel bad for it and make amends
>>27477361
How does this work? Do you have to manually place the needle there?
>>27478016
Chad don't want no needle in his joints problems.
>>27477965
>pulled a needle on me
that's not really how it works
but let's say that happens and you throw your punch, i simply hold my needle in the upward position under your arm while it extends to my face and now the entire underside of your arm has a long, bleeding cut
>>27476903
confirmed for hardcore autisto
>>27478033
No anon, the needle teleported there by itself.
>>27478054
Fuck me in the ass and call me lolipops, i phrased it wrong.
I mean, how does he activate the needle? Does he place the needle in his shoe and walk around like autism or does he move his foot in a certain way that the needle will pop out?
>>27478050
more like simply get punched in the face and run home crying and then returning the next day with a gun to shoot up the place
>>27477937
you can only get jailed for possession of a gun, even though it's completely legal at the state level and you have a conceal carry permit and you were defending yourself. check all of these and you can still get jail time
>i conceal sewing needles in my clothes. at any given time there are 10-25 sewing needles hidden on my person.
I think you just have autism and probably need to get some help, you remind of the guy I went to High School with who would trim his nails into the shape of a claw so his nail's were pointed. He told me that it gave him a "weapon to defend himself with" he literally believed cutting his nails into the shape of claws was going to serve as a self defense weapon.
>>27478088
It's spring loaded senpai. duh.
>>27478104
holy shit, we had a dude like that at school too.
he got hit by a car
apparently girl in a car beats creepy stalker in the car park
>>27478104
>he literally believed cutting his nails into the shape of claws was going to serve as a self defense weapon.
imagine if he glued needles onto his nails. wolverine mode desu.
>>27478093
I've walked off major concussions without any issue, didn't even lose consciousness
>>27478104
>I think you just have autism
why do you think i posted here?
>>27478167
because you need attention.
you cheap whore you
i conceal weapons grade plutonium in my clothes. at any given time there are 10-25 warheads hidden on my person. i'm well versed in human anatomy and can end a life without force and without there even being a sign of struggle, but all the while i look completely unarmed. do you have any idea how hard it is to remove fallout once its embedded into the body? you don't want this gamma radiation in your eye or any artery. you definitely don't want one of these alpha particles embedded into any of your joints
>>27477361
Autism shoes!
Lel
I'm a nurse so I have an excuse to carry needles. If someone holds still long enough I could insert an 18g cath in an artery without an int and they'd bleed to death and all the coroner would know is the bled to death from the needle hole it left behind.
>>27476903
If only bad guys would break into your moms basement, huh?
>>27478093
My sides this, OP is going to make a happening thread with tooth picks and needles, he might get serious and get an air soft gun for the shooting
>>27477843
nobody is innocent, not one
>>27477361
Boots with protruding spikes
Or a hat with razor blades sown in the back, which can be swung by the bill to slash you in the face
*funky asian man starts dancing *
>>27478183
fuck you this is the hero /r9k/ needs
i conceal AIDS in my blood. at any given time there are 10-250,000,000 corpuscles hidden on my person. i'm well versed in human anatomy and can end a life without force and without there even being a sign of struggle, but all the while i look completely unarmed. do you have any idea how hard it is to remove AIDS once its embedded into the body? you don't want this in your eye or any artery. you definitely don't want HIV embedded into any of your joints
>>27478254
will you be my needle gf
>>27477712
>the needle man
don't call yourself the needle man baka
i conceal chopsticks in my clothes. at any given time there are 10-25 pairs hidden on my person. i'm well versed in human anatomy and can end a life without force and without there even being a sign of struggle, but all the while i look completely unarmed. do you have any idea how hard it is to remove a chop stick once its embedded into the body? you don't want this in your eye or any artery. you definitely don't want one of these stabbed into any of your joints
>>27478296
Please kill self, No Robro needs someone as autistic as this
>>27478254
THAT'S RIGHT ANON, YOU SHOW SOCIETY THAT YOU AREN'T MEANT TO BE FUCKED WITH.
>>27478296
all hail needle man! all hail our autistic protector!
How many needles does OP hide in his dick?
>>27478345
Kill self or take him with you to /b/ then both an hero
>>27478318
you're a pretty cool dude, guy
>>27477185
Commentoriginalrequiredblox
>>27478290
>Or a hat with razor blades sown in the back, which can be swung by the bill to slash you in the face
DID SOMEONE SAY HAT WITH RAZOR BLADES?!!?!?
>>27478296
Fuck me?
i conceal autistic fucks with needles in my clothes. at any given time there are 10-25 small autistic needle fucks hidden on my person. i'm well versed in human anatomy and can end a life without force and without there even being a sign of struggle, but all the while i look completely unarmed. do you have any idea how hard it is to remove a small autistic fuck with needles once its embedded into the body? you don't want this in your eye or any artery. you definitely don't want small austistic fuck with needles embedded into any of your joints
>>27476903
you definitely don't want my foot embedded in your ass
>>27478329
dude this is the /r9k/ I love. Fucking greentexts like this. Not this sad circlejerk its become
Daily reminder that if you do not hide at least 10-25 needles on your person when leaving the house, you are a normie and must GTFO my board
>>27478438
Is that a fact, normalfag?
*big poof*
*teleports behind you*
hello normalfag *eye sparkles with a KA SHING sound*
*a thousands lightning punches to your head and face, causing your face and head to be all deformed, along with giving you brain damage thus making you mentally retarded*
not so normal now, are you normalfag?
*gets ready to punch, time pauses for a small second, during that small moment the brightness in reality goes down except my hand which is glowing, like in a over the top fighting video game or fighting anime*
*time unfreezes, i punch you with all the power of my soul, which shoots you out into space*
good bye normalfag, never return
*reunite with my beautiful and pure virgin 2D waifu and we walk off into the sunset*
anyway my post was troll, hope i havent inspired anyone legitimately autist enough to do this
i just use my needles to stab my abscess and drain the pus
>>27476903
It's very clear op is highly autistic
>>27478462
>If you breathe oxygen you're a normie and need to get off /r9k/
/r9k/ really went overboard with the normie meme in the last couple of years
>>27478482
>tfw more repulsed by those teeth
christ
Hot, I never knew I wanted an autistic violent edgy faggot to plant needles inside me before reading this thread.
awww yeah. das it mane
i conceal tanks in my clothes. at any given time there are 4 Panzer IV tanks hidden on my person. i'm well versed in human anatomy and can end a life without force and without there even being a sign of struggle, but all the while i look completely unarmed. do you have any idea how hard it is to remove 75x495 shells once they embedded into the body? you don't want this in your eye or any artery. you definitely don't want one of these shot into any of your joints
>>27478482
nahh maahhhhhhhnnn i ain't no autistic needle packing gangstar edge lord master of anatomy
im like totes just a mad troll and shit.....
(plz dont hurt me)
posting in shitty new unfunny lolsorandum force meme
>>27476903
i cant tell if everyone in this thread is sarcastically being supportive or if you autists are for real
>>27478546
this is exactly the sort of autism that nets hundreds of replies. im actually just a boring normie with a boring life and i dont really expect to kill anyone with a needle unless i managed to sneak up behind them somehow
>>27477361
>boot needle
You have a needle protruding out of your boot? at all times? ahahhahahaha
this has been fun, needle man must go now
the people need me
>>27478651
this could have been a great thread if you didn't ruin it with your narcissism.
>>27478549
I know edc is a meme but I actually do carry a knife at all times. It's not unusual where I'm from though.
I feel naked when I don't have my pen, knife, phone, and watch on me. Wallets are autistic though. It looks like shit but those phone card holders are nice for just two cards and a $20.
>>27478671
well sorry bout it. i wont do it again
cross my heart, hope to die
stick a needle in my eye
>>27476903
Please get help OP
You're putting yourself in serious risk believing that you have some special ability to win a fight using sewing needles. I suggest you speak to mental health professional so you can get to the bottom of why you believe you have special powers.
>>27477361
>boot needle
I'm scared
>>27477361
>autism shoes
Very classy.
>>27478765
Wouldn't it put the opponent is danger? A needle isn't terribly complicated to used. It is a good first attack which can then be finished by running or striking while the opponent is still surprised.
>>27478989
the thing with needles is they require little to no force whatosever and no matter where you stick it it's going to cause some alarming pain. its only fatal if it goes somewhere vital but its still going to hurt like fuck without much risk of a fatality unless you really wanted to
autism: the thread
does mr anatomy master know that you could penetrate and artery with an needle and would take you 5 hours to bleed out?
does he know that a needle at any part of the body wont immobilize an aggressor?
at most he'll feel a sting and get annoyed until he notices theres an autism needle in him.
do you know you could put those 20 needles in the most "lethal' parts of the body of someone and they would barely feel it and still be able to beat you to death?
stop watching anime kid youre gonna get yourself killed
>>27479113
http://www.newspostleader.co.uk/news/local/sewing-needle-lodged-in-arm-caused-death-1-1621312
shut up faggot
t. needleman
>>27478989
Uhm that isn't how it works. A violent altercation in real life can be a life or death situation. You would be putting yourself at serious risk in even trying such a thing in real life. Please speak to a mental health professional. It might help you get to the bottom of why you're carrying about lots of needles.
>>27479259
still though if someone doesn't know you have a 3 inch needle sticking out of your boot and you manage kick them hard under the jaw or even possibly break the needle off in their rib they're going to be intimidated. we're not talking about a raging berserker you fag lol
>>27476903
Why don't you just use pocket sand? It's more effective, easier to pull off, and there is no risk of accidentally sticking yourself.
>get in a fight with OP
>he tries to stab me with his boot needle
>i grab his boot and yank it off of his foot
>hold it up and tell him he's lost
>he smiles
>i look at his other foot
>there's a second boot needle
>mfw
>>27476903
remember op, get close to the enemy by feigning weakness/death/collapse then strike
nowadays people aren't smart enough to check if you're actually unconscious, so using tricks like kicking dirt into their eye, gouging, and feigning actually works
>>27479196
>news from 10 years ago
>still took the dude a whole year to die
>turns out they found the needle but the doctor left it in
he didn't die from getting a needle stabbed in his heart, he died from a doctor's malpractice
http://megaman.wikia.com/wiki/Needle_Man
Needle Man is a deadly Robot Master when he uses his Special Weapon, the rapid-fire Needle Cannon, to pepper his foes with a barrage of spike-shaped bullets which are sharp enough to pierce 10 inch-thick stone. Created by Dr. Light and Dr. Wily using aspects of Metal Man's combat programming, his initial purpose was to work in energy mines, specializing in land development and breaking through boulders and bedrock.
don't fuck with needle man
I use concealed ninja stars
Needleman please become a tripfag and post your heroic brand of vigilante justice forever.
>>27478717
AW DAMN DAMN DAMN
