Suicide
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Why do you want to kill yourself /r9k/?
>depression since 6th grade
>after years i've kinda got used to it,meaning that i don't cry every night anymore
>realize that it's never going to "get better"
>just kill me already
I understand it's hard anon but if you quit you validate every faggots opinion about you being a beta. Don't give in to what you have been told and therefore believe. Be better than what is expected of you.
>>27460667
And if you don't quit you support the society made of people who think you're a beta. You pretty much prove their point too. Because OP is never going to be the alpha. If he works hard, at best he will be tryhard beta. That's shameful.
Imagine you're at war and you have for example a cannon that you don't want enemy to get. And out of nowhere you get told to retreat. Would you rather destroy the cannon or leave it there so the enemy can have it?
Not OP btw.
I realized that every dream and aspiration I have will be unattainable even if I put the remainder of my life into it
>>27460703
bring it with you, obviously
>>27460793
You either didn't get the point I was making(then you're a retard) or you're just being obtuse on purpose and then you're a faggot. Which is it?
>>27460703
I'd rather be somthing than nothing. The idea of beta and alpha is a social construct validated by a minority. OP is capable of improving his life but he will die a fucking loser if he kills himself now. Take up a sport, lose weight, earn some money, throw yourself into dating, take up a healthy hobby, take a fucking walk every now and then.
Just do something to improve yourself before you do nothing forever.
>>27460793
I'd just shoot them with the cannon to be honest.
i'd do it if I weren't a pussy faggot. I'm not brave enough to.
If anyone actually feels like killing themselves just realize that outside of this society there is a real world. Even if you don't want to contribute to the society around you, you can still put effort into that world. Improve yourself in personally fulfilling ways. If you want to lose weight, go run outside for free. You want to eat healthier, start a garden. You don't owe people shit so do it for the person who matters most: you.
>>27460821
By improving and participating society you are validating it. The very society that treats people worse for things they can't change. If you do that, you're a cuck.
>>27460703
Think outside the box, create a trail of gun powder to the cannon, run away then blow it up. They want you to think there's only two choices.
>>27460508
This except since eighth grade, plus I'm a tranny
>>27460869
I'm just saying that suicide is permanent and that you can improve yourself and achieve happiness. Because even if you fail you just go back to where you started.
>>27460899
Failure is humiliation. Every humiliation chips away from you. Just keep trying anon! But soon enough, there will be nothing left.
>no dreams or aspirations
>no hobbies
>no gf
>no friends
>tons of health issues, basically working for food and meds
>evening fap is pretty much the only thing I'm looking for
I'm not even depressed or angry at anymore anymore, I just can't find any reasons to continue this pointless non-life. Would've ended it all long time ago if I didn't feel guilty to leave my parents alone
Would anyone be interested in a jihadist beta uprising? Think of Paris, they killed more than a hundred normies.
>>27460508
I've got no motivation in life. I'm not a complete loser- apparently I write fairly well, I read a lot, and act in my school theater company. I keep myself busy, so my issue isn't a matter of not trying. But I'm in my final year of high school, and everything is fucked, so to speak. I regularly skip classes, sometimes just staying home altogether and reading or watching Netflix. I haven't done my homework for the past three weeks and am running behind by about five essays and a media assignment. This is coming from a kid aiming to finish the year in the 95th percentile of the state (ausfag), and yet, I can't picture my mental state improving in the slightest if that were the case. My logic is that I'll feel equally as depressed regardless of what I achieve in life, so I might as well save myself the trouble and end it before I get my hopes up too much.
>dream to become a gamedevoloper and make games
>get a crush on a girl in my class
>confess love to her
>"I think of you more as a friend anon."
>get depressed
>follow dreams and pick up game dev class
>math comes up
>I'm retarded and can't math, never could
>fail class and drop out
>parents tell me to get a driver's licence
>do as I'm told and try as hard as I can
>fail both the tests
>can't take it much longer, smile on my face becomes less and less apparent.
>give up, life is not getting better
>parents and "friends" keep looking down on me because I'm not even trying anymore
>cry myself to sleep every night for the past 4 years
>become a cynical asshole
>not caring about anyone or anything
>if I had a gun in my hand I wouldn't hesitate to shoot myself
>hoping that one day it will all just end
>realize it never will end
>literally walking out in the woods in a blizzard just to get life will back
>nothingchanges.jpeg
>eat/shit/browse 4chan/sleep cycle everyday
Is this a test? Is life a simulation?
Please, just let me exit this game.
Kill me.
>>27460508
/r9k/ has reinforced the desire to outrageous levels
well, that's at least a little bit of it
otherwise I just feel trapped
>>27460858
nice little paragraph from someone who never had to deal with any shit
>if you want to eat healthier, start a garden
ah sure, I have so many free acres of land directly available, it's not like I'm stuck in a nigger infested shit-tier building or anything.
you can go outside and explore the world, do whatever you want, if you have money, that is.
>>27460508
>>27462029
fellow ausfag here. Dropped out in year 11 with a psychiatrists note and been NEET since. I was doing the asian subjects. I'm too sensitive. My mind is turbulent despite my uneventful life. One moment I want to kill myself and the next I'm at peace.
>>27460508
I've been depressed and isolated my entire life. I have no future and feel like a spectator in my own life.
>>27462446
this is the bottom of the valley between a hill and a mountain anon, make your mountain
>>27462446
Anonymous, I'm going to tell you a secret about making video gamesyou don't need to know much about math at all if you don't plan on making the engine yourself. The Undertale guy's has no idea how the fuck to program and look at how popular his game is. You can definitely do it
>>27463048
I guess. But that undertale guy was the 1/1000000. I doubt I could ever create something as successful. I only know really basic stuff about C#. I don't really know what engine is easier to program in and stuff or where to begin. I had some friends who made a game in Unity and they said it was pretty easy. What should I use if I decide to pick up programming again, I really don't want to deal with something that requires me to know alot about math. I've never been good with math and never will, It's the only subject I've had trouble with from beginning of the school to the end of the school.
Thanks for the cheering up.
I didn't ask to be born. I don't want to do anything with my life but I don't want to live on the streets when my mom eventually dies or gets tired of my shit, if she even has the audacity to do that because she was the cunt that brought me into this world.
>>27462762
I can relate to that feeling of turbulence. Have you tried meds? They gave me Cymbalta and I almost had a fucking heart attack after popping the first dose, so I'm apprehensive about trying the other options.
>did NOT have the childhood I wanted
>less than half a year left as a teenager to wrap things up neat
>it still wouldn't be enough but my OCD, psychosis, and drug addiction are getting in the way of that too and I'm running out of time
>waiting to embrace the void, can't hero though
>I know that on the empty side of everything, all the souls and possibilities are one and I would know the happiness of my ideal life and the pain of my own personal hell, and whatever in between feeling I feel right now as well
>but it'd be nothing
>but everything would be inside the nothing
Cause life demands too much of me, I just want to not exist
I'm a lazy unmotivated faggot with no interests in life and so I have no direction, I just wasn't cut out for this world
because my life is a fucking mess. I just don't know what to fucking do. every effort I put into improving myself falls flat. it might work for a couple of weeks in the end and I just sit at my computing f5ing shit for 16 hours
I'm fucking miserable and don't even know what I need. I can't be loved by anyone. I'll never be successful. I can't fucking function in society and nobody views me as an adult. I'm just a fucking clumsy chubby piece of shit
>tfw lose weight and become near-underweight but then eventually lose control and put it back on, lose again, put back on, repeat the same 30lb cycle of torture forever
I just don't even fucking know what I need, JUST FUCKING KEK MY SHIT UP
>tfw actually tried killing myself many times, but I chicken out in the end because I don't have the courage
>>27460508
>major depression disorder since 15 yrs old
>never had self esteem, failed or got bullied/ridiculed whenevr i tried breaking out of the 'box'
>could count actual friends on one hand all my life
>over wizard age, making $10.60/hr at wagekek job, never made more than this
>failed out of college 4x, banned from further financial aid (have to pull $1600 out of my ass for one 3 credit class, murica)
>never had gf or kissed romantically, never been laid
>car is now 15 years old, rusting, can't afford another unless it's a shitbox i can get with cash which will sink me with fix-up costs anyway, or tie myself to miserable job for 4 year loan on newer model
>had 28 instances of employment in my life, cannot keep a job for long, ever
>>27460934
and this, it is a good way to put it
>>27460934
goddam does this post makes me feel like shit
>ITT betas use laziness as an excuse to kill themselves
Fuck you might as well do it now
>>27466606
I'm a beta but not lazy, make ok money but have nothing to live for. Not fat, not terribly unattractive, but I am a Sperglord. I even got laid by a Mexican that I think was a Prost about a decade ago on vacation, my only time but better than khv.
>not saving up shekels and becoming Mr. Goldstein
Sitting at home all day behind your gay hypnosis station isn't going to make you happy.
>>27466623
kek undarage b&
>>27467088
haha, i saw that one before it was kill
fucking troll faggot deserved it
I was desperate to kill myself 2 years ago, but I chickened out three times. Now, the situation remains the same, but I've lost the edge. I can't bring myself to end my life. It would have been great to do it back then, say everything I wanted to say and just jump.
I decided to keep going on, but the truth is that I wasted my youth, ruined everything I dared to try, and will keep going on like this until I'm 30 and can't keep applying to dead end jobs. Everything inside me screams "give up" but now I don't have the desperation I used to have, that allowed me to ignore the fact that I would hurt my family, etc etc. I know that I'm a loser that will never make his parents proud, in fact I doubt I could ever leave my mom's house. They don't say it, but considering what they expected to me based on how good did I do on school, it's obvious. I'm dissapointed, so I don't blame them, and deep down I really think it would be better to die now and break their hopes now than die slowly while they watch me sink deeper and deeper in my own shit. But I can't muster the courage.
A few weeks ago I got mugged, and the robber threatened me with a supposed gun under his clothes. I started to scream at him that I won't give him anything and to kill me if he had the guts, but he didn't. I don't know if he was just scared and not seriously threatening me or if he was just bluffing with the gun. He didn't took anything because of the conmotion we made, but he gave me two good punches.
Anyway, I realized that a good option to die without killing yourself, at least in my crime ridden city, is being killed by a mugger. Or killing myself and make it look like mugging somehow, because I hadn't been lucky with robbers again since that.
