What's the dumbest thing you've done while drunk?
>on thanksgiving I told my dad I fucked a hooker when we went on vacation in las vegas
>fell off my parents roof trying to get in my second floor bedroom window when I locked myself out
>broke my arm crashing my brothers ATV into a tree
>got caught in my parents jacuzzi naked with a different hooker
>>27459208
woke up at my managers house
Tried to test my pain tolerance.
Didn't hurt myself much, but from a social point of view it was full-on robot.
>>27459208
Think I had a shot with girls
>>27459619
Yeah I've done the exact same thing. This is the reason I've stopped drinking.
tried to convert a lesbian to the great church of cock
>drunk at sleazy bar that has go-go dancers, lots of fights, and drug dealers
>been here before
>thought comes into my mind
>"no girl will ever love me"
>JUST
>remember last time I was in this bar people were sniffing coke in the bathroom
>walk up to random negro and ask if he has cocaine
>he says he doesn't
>try the next negro
>he does
>buy $40 worth
>try cocaine for the first time
>left the island.
>went back to being a wagecuck normie
>no real purpose or direction any more
>qt kate doesn't want anything to do with me anymore
>develop substance abuse issues, impeding on work
>get fired
>spend all my time trying to get back
>>27459685
>left the island
Gilligan?
I remember back when I was 18 I was at a pub with my friend and we had a loud, drunken conversation about which girls from our previous school we would fuck.
Turns out two of those girls we were talking about were also in that pub and overheard our conversation.
>walking home
>see plastic stick sticking up in snow to show where the edge of the road is
>want to break it
>push hard
>have to use both arms to puch hard downwards
>it snaps
>gets sharp edge
>body continues down after stick snaps
>face hits the stick
I hit my face very hard at a sharp stick that hit right between my eyes.
>>27459814
Also
>at university
>party in school
>take piss indoors around a lot of people
>had to clean it up
Went into my high school girlfriend's' closet and pissed on all her stuff.
>stole my friends sock and pissed in it. left it on the street
>wore a shopping basket as a backpack all the way home and in a chicken shop>couldn't get it up with some girl
>>27459208
I broke down crying and told someone I hated myself and I wanted to be a girl.
Never got drunk again for obvious reasons.
>>27460640
christ that's bad
the worse i did was tell this girl i wanted to fuck her in a really cringeworthy way like telling her i had a crush on her in high school and shit, it was bad
Anyone else /neverbeendrunk/ here?
>>27460640
tell me more anon
> originalcommentblox
I spend 10 years drunk, that was pretty dumb.
>>27459762
im sorry but why are u lying?
this sounds like something that came straight out of some comedy central show
scream at the top of my lungs whilst crying out
"i miss hitler"
>>27460717
There's nothing else to talk about. I don't talk to that person anymore and I don't drink alcohol.
Holding on like a champ here thanks to my weaboo shit.
>>27459208
>What's the dumbest thing you've done while drunk?
u're mom
>>27460801
best post in thread
Only one that's made me actually laugh
>>27459208
Came onto my gay friend
We made out and stuff which was fun but then I did kinda like this anon >>27460640 which was embarassing
The worst mistake I made was asking him out when we were sober though
>>27459208
rappelled off a railroad trestle into a river - in all my clothes.
Then lost my car keys in the river.
>got drunk at parents house on my own while they were on holiday, got horny and noticed parents pc had a webcam, went on omegle and connected to some guy who convinced me to fuck my own ass with a cucumber and shit on my parents desk while he wanked off to it. Same night I wanted to be fucked by a guy so I walked about 5 miles to a local gay dogging area hoping to find some old guy who'd fuck me, thankfully (looking back) there was nobody there so I wandered back home drunk and passed out in the kitchen.
Woke up the next morning and felt shame on a level I've never felt before.
>I'm comfortable knowing I'm bi now, but fucking hell, the deviant shit I want to do while drunk is scary.
>>27459208
shit my pants twice
>admit to my friends I'm bisexual
>admit to my friend about my families dark secrets whilst crying
>lay in the middle of the road when me and two friends were walking home and say I'm gonna kill myself and to just leave me
>pissed my pants
almost had sex with a stacy. fortunately some lesbian came in and broke it up before anything could happen
>>27459814
Did you DIE??? Jesus man!
>>27459208
>tried to kill myself
>just yesterday actually
>with coke, jack, pills, and french fries
>vomited everywhere, pic related some of the vomit
>>27461119
Those are some well chewed fries, well done
Blacked out and woke up next to a tranny. Thank god I wasn't the only one in the platoon to do it cause that would have been murderous.
Fucking Thai ladyboys taking advantage of me
>>27461361
did she look pretty cute/hot for a thai tranny?
>>27461320
thanks bra chewing well is one of my only skills next to being self destructive
I peed my pants.
>>27461515
>chewing well is one of my only skills next to being self destructive
well you failed killing yourself, guess youre not so good at self destruction
>>27461586
Oh come on now atleast hes above avarage, hang in there fryman and try your best next time
>>27461586
I'm not good at killing myself but come on I am good at chipping myself away and isn't that the best kind of self destruction? it's not as entertaining for the universe if I don't crawl through my vomit and have my friend call me and listen to me screaming in the bathroom. gotta put on a show :^)
>>27459208
cried in front of my mom
threw up in front of my mom
Paid for porn
I almost bought a perler kit while drunk cause I saw some guy on imgur making them and then i saw him post on a battlestation thread on /v/
>>27461718
People that are paying for porn are amazing bros
How else would non paying people get all that content
>>27459208
> be drunk
>sing song under the balcony of a a 9/10 stacey
>she doesn't even come out to tell me to fuck off or anything
>get angry
>proceed to shit on her doorstep
I can't get an erection when drunk and it is so goddamn annoying.
I should probably get some Viagra or something so I don't have to disappoint the girls anymore.
I mean fingers and mouth still exist but cmon
>>27459208
Drunk called the girl I was in love with, who I genuinely thought was into me and made me feel like life was actually worth living.
I couldn't remember anything about the call but I can only guess I went full autist because she hung up on me and our conversations went from several lengthy texts a day to me trying to text her every now and then and her sending one word responses....
Pissed into a dudes dryer.
>>27460801
Topkek I think I did the same, though it was more around the lines of "Hitler had good ideas"
>>27459208
>threw up all over my mum's sofa and didn't clean it up
>attempted to wipe it with a tea towel, gave up and ended up writing a note saying "i am SO sorry" in hopes that she would forgive me
>fell asleep in a neighbours front garden
>got woken up by a dog walker asking if I was alright
>"yeahman my houseis jus der"
>mfw he knows where I live now
>girl I liked invited me to a party with her cool friends
>never properly drunk before, try to impress her
>drink as much cider and rum as humanly possible
>smoke an entire blunt to myself
>whitied all over the girl's lap
>next morning the girl doesn't speak to me and everyone at the party looks pissed at me
>don't remember any of what I did until someone told me
>ruined my one realistic chance at having sex
>witnessed a fire on the way home from the pub
>tried to get inside the building to put the fire out
>a friend had to drag me out to stop me
>the roof collapsed like 10 seconds after
>mfw could've died
>>27459208
Tried to roll to my cousin's house, remembered I didn't know how to get there.
My brother once drunkenly joyrode and crashed my mum's car into a house.
It's a fucking miracle he didn't go to prison for that
I climbed to the top of a building. Not sure why, I think I got thrown out the club and tried to get back in through the roof.
typed a long post on a forum crying how much I love my online friends and how I'd be dead without them. it was p cringy
I didn't delete it when I woke up either, since I don't believe in that
>>27459208
tried to "rape" a girl, twice
>>27463510
oh and most recently, tried to do the can of spray + lighter flamethrower thing, ended up covering the lighter in liquid from the spray, the lighter burst into flames and me being the idiot I still held on to it, luckily my friends took it away from me
>>27460882
that's pretty stupid, pal
congrats
>>27459208
deleted my entire PS1 collection off of my hard drive
>spent about $2000 on strippers
>puked in a taxa right outside my house and had to pay $150
My childhood friend came over one night and we started drinking. We started to talk about stuff that turns us on and then he suggested we watch some porn, I thought it was pretty weird but I acquiesced. He then whips out his dick and starts masturbating and suggests I should stroke it for him, so I do. We then go to the bed and I give him a blowjob and he cum all over my face.
Let's just say we don't talk anymore
I'm not even gay and my only sexual experience was with a guy fuck
I once got lost in the streets of Berlin of a heavy night of drinking.
For some reason i thought i was a good idea to take a shit on the sidewalk.
I didn't even have to shit that much.
>>27459208
I've never gotten drunk.
>slapped a police officer and got a night in a jail cell
>started crying saying how sorry I was
OP here. Started drinking at 21 (18 is legal here) and stopping now at 24. I know this is going to affect my social life, but I do so many stupid things while I'm drunk. Anways, some actually funny drunk stories in here.
>kissed 3 guys on the mouth
>ended up in the hospital
>mixed alcohol with MDMA and Amphetamine (not that I do not like drugs but it was a stupid and dangerous combination)
>picked up smoking again
>spent 38 Euros on a fucking cab because I couldn't find the designated driver
>>27460795
it's not. it's a popular pub that a lot of people would flock to on a friday evening.
>>27459725
YA SPOILED IT YA DOLT
>went on a 13 day nonstop vodka bender
>only nutrients I had were vitamin waters used to chase
>shit my pants twice in this span
>fell onto pile of piss filled vodka bottles at least 3 times, leaving massive bruises on my chest and stomach
>get found by sister and landlord, they call emts
>spend first 3 days in hospital not allowed food or water because of pancreatitis
>delirious as fuck those 3 days
>wear scrub pants and ER gown home because they had to cut my clothes off of me
TL;DR don't drink
>>27465351
what do you main? booze? beer?
I stopped drinking booze after my buddy had to sit up all night making sure I didnt pull a jimmy hendrix. I really should have been at the hospital and been pumped.
Now I stick with beer and is better off everytime I drink. No major hangovers anymore, no blackouts.
> At a bar
> getting drunk
> start dryhumping bi m8 for no appearant reason
Fucking mojitos making me gay
>Be me
>Get laid when drunk
FeelsBadMan.jpg
>>27459208
Okay, it's probably not the "dumbest" but it's reasonably far up-there..
>be 16
>drinking cheap boxed-wine at the sk8park w/ the lads
>big group of us, incl. some girls, all chatting and drinking
>feeling very inebriated
>random homeless dude appears with his bottle of johnny walker red-label (high potency scotch)
>seems like a sickcunt.
>decide to indulge in a nip (or so) or his delectable scotch.
This is where things begin to get blurry.
>Friends vanish
>Don't appear to notice or be concerned
>Continue drinking this foul spirit out of the bottle with my newly acquainted homeless-friend
>Awake all of a sudden on a park bench to find some 14 year old kid in the year below me at school trying to talk to me.
>Absolutely covered in my own vomit.
>Homeless man nor friends anywhere in sight.
>Insist that I'm fine to said school kid in a slurred manner-of-speech and proceed to walk down this huge darkened gully all the way home.
>Somehow arrive safely.
>Stashed vomit-stashed clothes underneath bed for washing at a later date.
>Wake up wretchedly hungover.
>Congratulate kid at school for saving my life/me from choking on my own vomit.
*cue 'Garfield & Friends' theme song*
alot of embarrassment and big hangovers but hey it makes for good stories
>>27465776
how was it going back to school and seeing your friends
>>27465783
well, alchohol tends to show the true side of people, for good or worse. It's the only way you can get to know a person in a short timespan.
>>27465827
Given that this was 7-8 years ago, I don't really remember.
It was probably pretty typical of my friends to ditch me under such circumstances, though.
>>27465651
Booze. Vodka and rebull to be more precise. I'm an aspie so I'm afraid to try new things (not when I'm drunk). Yeah I'll probably have a few beers but booze is a no go for me.
>be me at bar this Friday
>get way too drunk and yell at people
>throw up on the floor inside and get thrown out
>get taxi with m8s
>throw up all over the door and foot well of the taxi
>fall out of the cab while it was going along because I opened the door to puke
>give 40 quid to the taxi driver as a 'tip'
>piss myself as I waddle up my neighbour's front garden mumbling to myself
>get woken up by my neighbour because I was asleep on his doorstep
>>27459208
>got drunk
>got into argument with cousin
>ended up doing coke with a random muslim in the bronx
>>27465639
dafuq
I hope this is a copypasta
Honestly, I can't remember. I know it's bad though. I used to mix benzos with alcohol and weed and used to get absolutely reckless. I know I've done stupid shit I just have no recollection of any of it.
went into a latino-only club as a white guy (a friend got me in) and tried to pick up their women.
i somehow managed to avoid a good beat up too, but im pretty sure i was close.
i should also mention that these racist fucks had me pay double for everything. at least the music was cool.
>>27465981
was his name alibaba ?
>tfw get wasted and figured out the owner of the 1 dollar beer spot's name is fucking alibaba
>>27465981
this happened to me once, except it was a gypsie who smoked crack
he was a cool dude, first and only time I've ever smoked crack
>>27459208
Fucked 2 black strippers
>>27459208
In college, I tried to kiss a girl who was not into me. It made shit really awkward for a couple of months. Then we went our seperate ways for summer holidays and when we came back it was like nothing had ever happened.
>>27460854
uh, that's not a problem since you are gay
>>27463975
>I'm not even gay. Uh, yes you are
I give him a blowjob and he cum all over my face
>>27459208
Expressed how I truly think about women.
>Mixed ativan and liquor
Nothing really terrible happened, just spent three days in a hazy dream like state constantly asking my mom if she was ashamed of me and cried a lot.
>>27466598
Goddamnit I did the same thing anon. Got really drunk and tried groping her/holding her hand the entire night. What makes it worse is that she's painfully shy so she wasn't able to tell me to fuck off. So naturally, in my drunken state, I thought she was responding well to me.
After a while she said she needed to "go to the toilet" so I let her go, but after 10 minutes she still hadn't come back and had gone to sit with another group instead. Then I decided to just fucking go for it and kiss her to see how she responded. I caught her in the hallway and just shoved my face towards hers, but she swooped out of the way of me. The cringe hit me immediately after, especially having realised at least 5 people witnessed what I did. I got so embarrassed that I cried and threw up all over my friend's bathroom.
I didn't see her for like half a year after that because I'd finished College (britbong college) but things were basically back to normal after that, minus me having a crush on her (at least not actively).
>>27459487
Holy shit, anon, you're my hero!
How much alcohol is too much? Haven't had a drink in a week and I'm gonna get a bottle or 2 this friday. Like how much per week would effect your health?
>>27459208
Flipped a car
I fell in love...
But, in all seriousness.
>Thailand
>Hop in pic related with mates
>Someone mixes one of those big bottles of OJ with Vodka
>Handed the drink and told to chug the entire thing
>Get up and hang off the back of the vehicle
>Start chugging
>All while this fucker is speeding through the street
I look back at that night and realize how close I could've ended up getting killed
>>27461119
Sounds like a usual friday evening to me
>foggy night
>walking across the street with friends, laughing and not paying attention
>suddenly hear car horns
>look to our right, see car coming in super fast
>quickly sprint and narrowly avoid the car
>everyone laughs it off
It was only the next day I realized how close we came to being seriously hurt or dying
>>27459208
Watching Party of five with that faggot in it.
>>27459208
Stabbing myself in the stomach in a botched suicide attempt. 2nd place goes to when I lost my wallet that had +200$ and my license in it.
Puked like a motherfucker and started crying
Also i've faceplanted into the pavement and lost my blunt :'(
>>27459208
>drunk af
>fell asleep
>woke up
>party is still going
>nausea is getting stronger
>get up, stumble to the hallway
>puked
>great, now my shoes, pants and shirt are covered in puke
>still need to piss
>stumble to the toilet stall
>unzip
>reach for the dicker
>hand is covered in warm fluid
>that fucker is already pissing
>empty the rest of the bladder to the toilet
>fart comes
>nope
>wet shit is filling my asscrack
>incredibly smelly shit mixed together with a piss is leaking down through the trousers
>head suddenly clears
>what the fuck i just did
>ran away, leaving the rest of my stuff at the party
>walked 7 kilometers home, -5 celsius
>pants are spongy by the liquid shit and piss
>before i reach home, pants are already keeping their shape as the shit dried or froze
>>27468757
another story
>friend works nightshifts at local bar
>he calls me, he's alone and bored
>start drinking
>another friend of ours arrives
>get completely smashed
>decided to go to the disco
>club is stuffed, nowhere to sit, barely a place to stand
>order few booze shots, expensive as fuck but who cares
>first, second, third,... lost count after 6th
>feeling violent spasms from the stomach
>time to leave
>start climbing exit stairs, supporting myself with hands
>some stacey walks in front of me
>fuck she's hot
>wanted to say something
>no pickup line, only puke spills out of my mouth
>puke also covers tips of my long hair
>disgusted stacey runs away
>left the club
>it's fucking raining
>sat alone in the nearby park until i sobered up and rain washed most of the puke stains from my hair and clothes
>crash my bike and fall on the road in the middle of the night
>car almost runs me over
>driver calls police
>be barely concious at this point
>get my blood alcohol level tested at police station
>ashamed parents bring me home
>lose drivers license next month
I've never been drunk, not ever
>>27459208
Put a gun to my moms head, when she was sleeping.
>When I was about 8 my brother told me he found a way onto the roofs of the shops on our local high street
>Don't really believe him
>12 years later
>Walking home drunk as shit
>Randomly remember this
>Run around looking for it, climb up walls of flats and shops, scrambling up drainpipes
>fall off a couple times, few dead ends
>Climb up the side of some flats behind big office block
>Roofs are all connected here with pipes and ledges everywhere to climb on
>Feels like assassin's creed
>Get to a pretty high point after a while, look over the edge
>Holy shit, I did it
>Actually found exactly where I was trying to get by drunkenly scrambling around roofs of backstreets
Felt great, man. Completely retarded though, susprised I didn't even get injured.
>>27459208
Hit on underage girls
Oopsie daisies
>>27459208
Not much, I stole some bottles from my residence and threw out everywhere. My friend's bed, my phone, a girl...
Even today there are some puke crusts between my phone's parts
>be me, 18, hanging out with friends
>partying in big house rich friend is renting for the weekend
>lightweight af so getting near-blackout after a little more than a pint of vodka
>horny teen struggling with sexuality at this point
>run questforcock.exe
>go into kitchen with 2 friends to make tacos
>put the lettuce on before microwaving because I'm wasted
>friend is sitting on counter, asks me why I did that, laughs uncontrollably because he's high as fuck
>take the plate out of microwave
>go to put it on counter, high friend is in the way
>"move dude I need to put these down"
>gives me shitty excuse not to move
>could've just put them down somewhere else
>instead say "get out of the way or i'll fuck you out of the way"
>high friend laughs and is confused as fuck
>other drunk friend does the same thing
>"hahaha what???" ask me why I said that
>I laugh and say "I'll tell you in the morning"
>pass out 10 minutes later while watching pulp fiction on VHS (this was in 2015 btw)
>wake up in the morning, hungover as fuck
>friends ask me about what I said
>pretend not to remember
>they still don't know I'm bi
Me and friend sent a voice message to that russian 9/10 from school. Told her how she is like a sister to us that we want to fuck.
We gonna meet up with her this week. Plan is to get drunk and sexually harass her
>>27461106
No but i was very close to poking an eye out.
I just got a severe nosebleed.
>>27459208
>get invited to a girls house one night
>clearly implies coitus
>decide to get drunk beforehand to take the edge off
>buy a 6 pack of 8% beer
>drink at the bus stop
>shit, at the wrong bus stop
>go to the other bus stop across street
>continue to drink
>eventually reach her neighborhood, first time here
>spent 30 min finding her house after her calling and texting to see wtf I was doing
>arrive at her house wasted
>she comes out
>"anon, you took 2 hours to get here"
>have a shit night and part ways soon after
>said I was disgusting
