>be me
>minding my own business whacking my dick off in front of the computer as normal
>parents yelling in kitchen
>few minutes go by
>footsteps approaching
>oh my god no
>gotta get this nut first so close
>they're still coming
>I need this nut like I've never needed one in my life
>past the point of no return when I hear the door opening
>"Anon this is rediculous, you're going to have to find a-"
>start screaming to drown out the sound of the porn but don't put my dick away fast enough and actually shoot onto the monitor
>mom shrieks in horror and runs out crying
>dad just stands there
>I put away my penis
>porn still playing
>"You're moving out of the house."
>I say nothing
>Listening to the porn
>Dad turns to leave
>stops
>"Have you been smoking pot again?"
>N-No
>"If I fucking find that-"
>He starts opening my closet door
>NO NOT NOW DON'T- I immediately cry out with tears in my eyes having a full on panic attack
>avalanch of shit jugs fall out of storage and cover my dad in my months old rotting feces
>he falls down and pukes
>mom screams again, must have been waiting outside the door
>"I can't take this life anymore!" sobbing uncontrollably, leaves
>I hear a drawer slam open in the kitchen and silverware clinking around
>I break my window with my ps4 to escape
>Run to McDonalds
>posting this from my phone
Guys I think this the end.
>be me
>27
>live at home with mom
>she has a party and invites our friends and families
>big pot luck but all I want is chicken tendies
>go to freezer pull out tendies
>throw some in the microwave
>come out of the kitchen with my chicken tendies and ketchup
>everyone looks at me as I go back to my fap fortress
>mom comes in and tells me, "Anon, will you please be social for our family and friends? Please do it for me!"
>Go back to the living room
>so anon I hear you like those chinese cartoons like the dragon balls and naroootoe
>starting to get pissed
>giggle and just say yeah
>then some faggot pulls out a Macbook to show off his faggot families vacation
>rage ensues
>run to my room screaming "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>grab piss bottle
>throw it at macfag
>hits him everyone goes silent
>Then I scream "Filthy fucking casual!"
>Apple is for fags
>mom grabs me
>Back hand her
>faggot white knight steps in and tells me to calm down
>start to scream and helicopter
>shit my self in the process
>everyone pulls out their iPhones to take a video
>more rage
>run back into room and grab my katana
>here them talking and asking what they should do
>run out and chop at the macbook
>the guy tries to tackle me but my ninjitsu skills are second to none
>he trips and bust his head open on the coffee table
>everyone runs out
>someone calls the cops
>go hid in my room
>clutch my Rei body-pillow and pray to my framed picture of Gabe Newell above my bed
>set up trap using my jizz bottles
>cops knock on door and tell me to open up
>They bust in
>first cop gets a bucket of jizz I proped over my door
>second one trips over a dragon dildo
>cops throw me to the ground and hand cuff me
>mom's crying
>go to jail
>missing warm tendies and comfy animes
>>27441087
more of these stories
>>27440998
screencapped and posted to r/4chan
>>27441420
>Wake up this morning feeling good
>Pull the special edition Battlestar Galactica blanket off my bed
>Tie it around my neck like cape
>Step over my piss bottles and old food containers
>It's an autistic ballet as I tip toe to the spots on my floor that aren't covered in garbage
>Finally make it out into hallway
>Rush to look at Good Boy chart on the wall
>MFW only 10 more points needed for a Double Tendie Dinner!
>Run downstairs so fast my cape floats behind me
>Do a running slide onto kitchen floor to tell Mummy the good news
>Mummy just looks at me sternly
>Says to bend over so she can check my diaper first
>"You know I have to check every morning, anon."
>"Nooooo! I don't wanna!" I cry out defiantly
>Tears start to well in her eyes
>She starts walking away from me
>"Wait...Ok..." I say as I lean over the table for her inspection
>Pull down my pants
>The smell of day old chunks of partially digested tendy shit and cheese diarrhea wafts to her nose
>She instantly vomits into the sink
>"That's minus 50 GBP!" she screams with her chin covered in puke
>"I screech and rip off the diaper
>Throw it onto the dining room table as hard as I can
>Orange and brown chunks splatter everywhere
>Some gets on the ceiling
>Some gets on mummy
>She curls into a ball sobbing uncontrollably next to the sink
>Reaches up for a towel but accidentally cuts herself on a kitchen knife I left out
>She's bleeding and covered in vomit and poo while screaming how I'm a bad boy
>Quickly put on my shoes and stuff my pockets with frozen tendies
>Run to my car crying because now I'm late for class at community college
Original
>>27440998
kek'd at the shit jugs part
well meme'd sir.
