>4am in the morning
>29 years old
>sitting in my cumstained gamer chair eating pizza
>hardcore gaming persona 4
>dad opens the door a couple centimeters wide
>see the disappointment in his eyes
>he just says "oh" and closes the door again
that might be it bros
what's the easiest for suicide?
need some text in here so yeah typical: dont do it pls someone loves you
man up and help him with work, or go eat kebab together.
>>27440977
Helium tanks are no longer pure helium
Consider a mass shooting and get instantly famous
>>27440977
I hear that the helium trick is super panicy. Like your body doesn't just start drifting off like with Carbon Monoxide but rather begins freaking out from lack of oxygen.
>>27440977
jump , it ends pretty quickly , no pain
>>27440900
Why is he disappointed? Does he want you to not "b urself"?
>>27440900
Nah. Dont do it. If youre going to commit suicide, at least do things differently for a little bit. If you still arent convinced, then go back to square one and an hero.
>>27440900
those moments are the worst. yelling and insults are better than those disappointed looks.
>>27440900
Get some gas tanks, like gas for stoves kind.
two or three. Hug them, open their valves, then turn on the lighter.
You will blow up in .98ms, it is the best suicide you can get.
>>27440900
>4am in the morning
damn...
>>27440900
old age
dont be a retard
>>27440900
oh boy here we go
first off depends where you live. if you live in the states then that's good, take the next bus/plane whatever to the golden gate bridge. jump off where there's concrete under you, it's a 250ft fall and if you aim head down it's 100% guaranteed death.
if you live too far and want something quicker, use an old car, hook up a hose from your exhaust into your car, and make sure there's no-one that can see you or your car for the next ~2 hours. it's like living inside a helium tank essentially.
if you have no car but live in the city, then just take a bus or walk to the nearest tall building, try to figure out what has roof access. around 15-16 floors should be lethal, provided you hit concrete and aim with your head down.
if you live in the country, trains work, look on google maps or train company sites for maps of railroads. travel to the nearest one, make sure it's somewhere halfway between stops so the train is going fast, around corners or near tunnels is good as there's less visiblity, hide in nearby shrubbery or outside of tunnel until you hear train approach, then when it does, put your neck on the rail and lie down on your stomach, chin on the bit between the two rails, perpendicular to train path.
hanging and exit bags are a meme, stick with the tried and true and tested methods famm.
>>27440900
first of all check'em
second of all: it's happening to you for several reasons:
>you were not educated properly
>you are trying to be something in order to please your father, society whatever and you are falling because that's a shit reason to live and you know it deeply
>you have no goal, nothing you to live for, you don't really care about anything
this is your life, not your father's, do something about your life
>>27440900
i hate fat lazy sacks of shit like you. Your father is dissapointed so instead of sorting your shit out to give him a little joy you want to an hero cause youre such a waste of oxygen that exerting yourself in the slightest possible way is too much to ask.
Do us all favor and pick a painful suicide you wretched mistake.
>>27440900
>>hardcore gaming persona 4
u got shit taste m8
>>27442261
Why do you assume that he's capable of doing better and "sorting his shit out" at this stage in his life? Doesn't his father have some responsibility in this? Would you expect a child to instinctively learn how to succeed in life if it grew up in seclusion?
>>27440900
>gamer chair
Yeah, definitely off yourself.
>>27440900
How do you do it?
My mommy and daddy are forcing to apply to jobs. It's fucking gay.
I don't want to change my routine and have to put up with normies.
>>27440900
you'd rather take the cowards way out than to work so you can become a son, your father can be proud of?
>>27442462
Get out norman!
not original
>>27442381
his father has no responsibility for the actions of a 29 year old man. if i was his father i would kick him out of the house, his father has to pay for his kindess by having a worthless fully grown man squatting in his house, he hasnt been his little boy or his responsibility for over 10 years.
I honestly believe parents of people like this would subconciously be happy if they died, or at least got out of the house and out of their lives
>>27442604
>childhood upbringing has no effect on the life of an adult
If his parents had done their jobs properly, their son wouldn't be in this position.
>>27442677
he's in a house, has access to a computer and video games. His life is cushy and I assume it was as a child. 99% of my friends had the same upbringing and are getting on with life.
Hes an adult male he can and should be doing other things nothing is stopping him.
You fucking autists really are special little snowflakes
whatever it is you do OP, make sure to stream it
>>27442779
Doesn't matter if it was "cushy".
You can still have bad genes.
You can still be malnourished.
You can still have no guidance/role model and only negative social interactions.
>nothing is stopping him.
This assumes that people are all equal and no one has any limitations.
Robros we need to post our dicks to help OP out
>>27440977
>>27441126
This.
Hanging still is the surefire way to go and my preferred exit.
Takes some precautions against breaking/short rope etc but it's guaranteed to end you as survival rates are minimal even in relatively botched cases.
>>27440900
atleast he didn't see you browse 4chan
>>27443246
paracord 550. its cheep and you are just buying it to braid some cool EDC braclets yo....
>>27441643
Train method must actually be quite good since you wont feel anything when the train hits your neck.
>>27443223
sjw the post
bad genes arent a new phenomena, 200years ago nobody could get away with not working, and they were way more malnourished. Weak people always existed and always had to work thats how they survived to this point in the first place.
Stop defending this lazy waster
>>27443403
top cucking m8.
I'd say you are shitposting but the truth is there are people who ironically believe that crap. Can't tell, honestly.
>>27442398
Must concur. If you have a gamer chair you're already dead inside.
>>27443356
however people have pointed out in the past that you might get a train with a front bumper, which will crash into your head before the wheels reach your neck, and the worse case scenario it flings you away with head damage, instead of just crushing your skull/brain
>>27443926
lol if this happens to him
>>27443926
>op tries to off himself
>can't even do that right
would kek
>>27443246
Tying a 20 foot rope to the railing of the top of a tall building and jumping gives a good chance of a cleanly snapped neck.
It's the methods that involve tipping over a chair or table that end in slow, agonizing choking until you die after 30 seconds of pure panic.
>>27443926
If I were to kill myself, I wouldn't end it by jumping in front of a vehicle. There's no need to make another persons life miserable, having hit somebody.
I'd rather kill myself with a shotgun to the head in the middle of a field so nobody has to bother with my dead body.
>>27445963
>kill myself with a shotgun
as a bongistanian, lucky you
>>27445981
I guess London has some tall buildings that would end it pretty fast jumping off.
"It's not the fall that kills you, it's the heart attack and the sudden stop at the end that does"
>>27440900
>that might be it bros
>what's the easiest for suicide?
Of course, always the easy way. Not being a disgrace is too hard for you, isn't it?
>>27443356
There was this young man back in trade school who jumped of a bridge onto the train tracks to kill himself. The oncoming hit him while he jumped, knocking him next to the tracks. He survived it, but it turned his brain into mush and him into a potato.
Would not recommend.
>>27445913
if it's too long isn't there a chance of your head being torn off?
>Call police on self
>Hold up gun-shaped object
>Get riddled with bullets
That's how you do it.
>>27446205
>That's how you do it.
Always putting the work onto others. I doubt any cop actually likes to shoot an unarmed man.
>>27446249
You've paid your fucking taxes, may as well use the service.
>>27440900
>what's the easiest for suicide?
Go on the darknet and buy barbiturates and heroin
take large dose of barbiturates
snort heroin
you'll have a forever nap
>>27440900
Jump off the highest building in your town and make sure you dive headfirst.
>>27446299
>may as well use the service.
Where does it say 'the right to get you face sifted'?
>>27446196
Yeah. I remember reading about a guy who was sentenced to death but gained so much weight in jail his head popped off when they hung him.
Heres a handy table about drop heights that snap necks but wont remove heads
>>27446362
>Heres a handy table about drop heights that snap necks but wont remove heads
It stops at 196 lb, I doubt it will be much help around here.
>>27446331
do barbiturates still exist?
http://lostallhope.com/suicide-methods/statistics-most-lethal-methods
Here you go senpai
>>27446574
>head explodes
>2 mins to die
wut?
>>27446299
anon is likely a neet. no taxes paid from him
>>27447435
>no taxes paid from him
>people on welfare pay no taxes
ieow wjwkqqkwk fug
>>27440900
ANOTHER NEET BITES THE DUST!
>>27446356
1962 Federal Mercy Act - 'you have the inalienable right to immediate painless death by cop.'
>>27446331
Forever sleepies is for fluffies. Human beings deserve a bullet at the very least.
At least be sober when you kill yourself, mate.
>>27450130
>immediate
>painless
>bullets
u
focking
wat
m8
?
>>27446353
is jumping from a tall building painless?
i mean you would feel ur body crushed and ur bones break for a second right?
>>27450218
not if you're a professional diver and can land head-first.
but even if you dont and land fllat on your face or on your side, if the building is tall enough, the speed and impact will be so great that you'll be dead or unconscious and braindead before your nerves can even send a signal to your brain.
Suicide is a shitty plan B.
Take your backpack. Raise your thumb. Embark on a new life! What's there to fear?
If you really wanted to die, you would have done it by now already.
Dying is the most important thing to ever happen to you, and I would argue one of the most beautiful parts of the human condition given it only happens once, and in that it's inevitable. I would recommend hanging, exit bag or cutting your wrists so you have time to fully explore the feeling of dying. It's painful, true, but in the more instant, and equally as effective methods, it's all over too quickly.
I honestly dont understand why you would use any method other than sitting in the car with exhaust fumes.
Why would you make it a bloody mess or give someone a trauma if you want to die? I heard the exhaust fumes actually make you feel very peaceful before you die because your brain doesnt get oxygen
If you haven't had your mental illnesses diagnosed yet, do it. Get your parents to help you apply for autismbux, then get them to help you move into a small apartment.
It'll do some good for them (they'll think you're making progress), and it'll do some good for you (privacy, mainly).
>>27450218
>for a second
jesus, what type of death is there that gives you less than a second of pain? count yourself lucky if youre fortunate enough to have a death lasting under 30 seconds.
>>27450380
>What's there to fear?
the 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food and 3 hours in the elements rule, primarily
>>27450130
uh, magdump to the chest isn't painless
a bullet to the head isnt either
unless all of your nerves are obliterated at the same time you will be feeling pain
>>27450380
>keep failing in that mmo?
>just paying to farm rats all day?
>wake up every day just dreading to play for hours and hours?
>don't quit, anon
>try another quest
>walk aimlessly into the jungle out something I dunno
>>27450450
>cutting your wrists
>painful af
>hard to commit, its best two cut both arms but that requires doing one while bleeding out with it
>takes a while, even in a hot bathtub
>small room for error, go off course while slicing through the vein, and youve lost tendons and control of that arm
>around 2% success ratio (more or less, due to kids doing it for attention and telling docs it was totes a suicide method, or suicidals being seen as self harm gone wrong)
worst fucking method bar drowning in cow piss
>>27450525
car may be new and not allow this, takes too long and getting stopped in the act may lead to brain damage, if youve got a car might as well drive it to a cliff or tall building than rely on some fucking hose
>>27440900
Dont kill youself anon
you will only make your dad sadder
Start working and improving yourself instead, ask your parents help
>>27451882
The dude doesn't seem to mind suicide, so it's a win-win!
Besides, he might get lucky and stumble into a portal and warp to 2300 AD and suddenly find purpose to his life
You wanna die? Just hold off your breath. Simple, right? Stop breathing.
I can promise you that within 2 minutes, something deep inside of you will change your mind :3
>wait what I dun really wanna die after all, time to find purpose to my life. But gee i'm so lazy
