>be 16 in high school
>be bisexual
>hang out with hot girls and pretend I'm gay
>hang out with hot guys and pretend I'm strait
>soon figure out girls are much more open about sex and stuff
>pretending to be gay and get to see some hot stuff
>one rich french girl whose dad married some Mexican supermodel
>she's got her booty, and its phat
>easily bigger than the webm
>wasn't flabby either it held consistency
>thighs were nice too
>since the girls talked about guys a lot I told them I liked a guy's butt
>one day we were just doing random shit at my house
>one girl thought it would be funny to play jenga with a bucket of milk on top
>wtf, this is a bit weird
>everyone thinks its normal so I go along
>game goes on
>big booty girl's turn
>she fucks up
>milk falls on her leggings
>I tell her my older sister has some pants that she could borrow
>she asks can you show me where they are
>they are that way I point
>she goes into the room and asks for help finding the clothes
>they aren't that hard to find, but whatever
>I go in
>she's in her panties
>dat ass was fat
>get out the un-buttoned jeans
>tries to put it on
>ass too fat
>struggling when she asks me to help her
>oh jeez
>we try pulling up at the same time, too big
>ok lets try another pair
>nope, booty too big
>we try like seven more
>nope, not going to happen
>get to a pair of jean shorts
>they are too big for my sister, there is hope
>squeeze them around her massive butt
>she needs help buttoning her pants
>we do and after a few seconds the jeans rip.
>she starts laughing
>we shove the pants off of her booty
>she says I need to cut back on the pizza
>then grabs her ass with both hands (one on each cheek)
>lifts it and drops it
>watches it jiggle in the mirror
>she's lightly slapping it and asks do you have any leggings that this might fit into
>ok sure
>boner alert level 10
>get the leggings
>stretch them to their limits
>after like 10 minutes of struggle we squeeze them around her massive posterior
>cont
>>27437340
If only this worked
>you are such a great friend anon
>sorry my ass was so big (she was laughing)
>walk back to the main room, she's in front of me
>her ass is bouncing with every step
>hnnnnggg
>we get into the main room
>I take my chance
>everybody, we finally got a pant that could fit this
>slap her ass
>she laughs
>so you really are gay one girl said
>wtf
>we were testing if you really were gay since (big booty girl) was crushing on you
>oh fuck
>mfw
>bisexual
>PRETEND to be gay
faggot
>>27437393
Pretending to be 100% gay
>>27437392
>liking females with disproportioned ass
You must be a nigger robot
>>27437406
you already were 100% gay if you sucked dicks and took it in the arse son
>>27437392
welp m8
>>27437431
L O W T E S T C U C K D E T E C T E D
I am a snow nigger and even I love massive asses
>>27437431
>having definend sexual inclination at 16
Fucking millenials scum who like to pretend like they are minorities
>>27437453
>being a snownigger somehow gives you the privilege of being always right
Wewlad
Its not my fault if i dont like women with body parts bigger than mine, it was probably all the anorexy in my animus
>>27437392
Straight up could have said "Hmmm well maybe I could make an exception for her" and been well on your way to hot "experimental" benis in vagoo sex.
>>27437472
It's not about being right its about pointing out that liking massive asses doesn't instantly make you black.
>>27437392
You should've strongly grabbed her ass instead of slapping it.
>>27437493
>>27437658
I think about it every day, and kick myself for it too
>>27437472
Women with smaller body parts than you... wtf
>>27437561
Dude massive asses are a fetish like anything else, like skinny fetish, foot fetish, it doesent relate to quantity of hormones flowing thorugh your blood, i mean you can assume it somehow related but only bloodwork is fact
>>27437736
Whats so strange about not wanting your gf to be heavier than you?
Heavier=bigger
Bigger=wider
>>27437744
Liking thick women has been linked to higher testosterone, not much else
>>27437798
I know, the guy was trying to make it seem like girls need to be lighter
>>27437340
I have more stories, some with the other girls too
not all quite as intense as this
>>27437811
One statistical correlation isnt very much of a proof if you know the "scientific method"
And test depends on so many things you seriously cant relate that on a single aspetc, and btw the more test you got the more extrogen and female hormones a male body has to produce to equilibrate, since all humans are based on a certain equilibrium of hormones.
>>27437828
"If you cant lift your gf then you are the gf"
>>27437392
This is why I only lie by omission.
>>27437869
There have been multiple tests, and you can see it too. Guys who are naturally "muscular", more aggressive, and tough are usually with a thick bitch
>>27437340
>could pretend to be lesbian to see hot guys
>oh wait I'm a female and can do that straight anyway
Easy mode :')
>>27437895
what does "lying by omission" mean
>>27437913
Lol, but did you is the question
>>27437860
OK, I'll bite
Tell me another
>>27438795
Ok, here goes
>be 17
>school trip to some weird place, I forget now
>we are looking at cave systems
>one of the openings is a small crevice on the ground just enough for a person to fit through
>they warn of claustrophobia so that "big" people have an excuse
>all my female friends go through
>big booty Judy already knows whats coming but tries to go in anyway
>gets stuck
>it takes three people to get her out
>shes not fat, hourglass figure actually, but she kind of fell in and got the fat of her bum squished in a little bit
Talk about butts while I type out the story of the time I molested my friend's sister.
>>27438986
Teets bump
>>27437340
>play jenga with a bucket of milk on top
Sounds fun desu
>>27438882
More stories, I'm bored.
>>27437912
I dont see any source for this claim whereas the society pushing the values of being thin for women and for the males to be thin but muscular making obviously the woman the lighter and weaker physicly in the couple is a thing that is for everyone to see in every tv show or film, one statistical correlation doesent mean anything when you factor the influence that living in a society has on human being
Statistics doesent work like you thinks it works
>>27439035
>be 16, Summer Vacation
>friend has sister with boobs probably bigger than your pic
>invite her over to play video games after school one day
>ask her if I can touch her boobies
>she says we'll see
>playing some Vidya, didn't really want to touch her boobies that much since I'm a total sperg
>some time passes
>hey wanna play Super Deepthroat
>sure?
>see you can make your own girl
>...
>should I make you?
>sure
>Breast Slider: MAX
>are my boobs really that big?
>I don't know let me check
>grab her tit
>it doesn't even fit in my hand
>yeah they're pretty big
>really?
>yeah, sorry
>at this point say fuck it and just get on top of her
>start jiggling her boobies
>well this is kind of lame with her bra on
>Anon I don't know if I'm comfortable with letting you touch my boobs
>well here, sit up
>take one of her hair ties
>put her arms behind her back and "tie" her hands up
>well now you're not letting me so it's okay :^)
>I guess
>lift her bra up through her shirt
>continue with what I was doing
>can see her nipples poking through
>stop for some reason
>go back to playing Vidya for a while
>she starts crying
>I ask her what's wrong
>she says something about a boy she likes
>oh
>she says she has to go
>her house is a couple miles away so I asked if she would be okay
>she said yes and just left
>an hour or so later, get a text from her brother
>hey man did my sister go over to your house?
>yeah we played some Vidya why?
>her friend just texted me she says she's crying in a ditch somewhere because you touched her
>no I didn't
>oh okay, see you tomorrow!
And now his sister is scared of me and I play Monster Hunter with him still.
>>27437392
just like my animus
well done op.
shame about that phatty
>>27439153
Oh, and no I didn't touch her boobies raw, it was only through her shirt. I have never seen or touched boobies otherwise.
>>27439153
>>27439173
Did no one like my story? Original Comment
>>27439418
It made me smile, that slutty roastie got what was coming to her.
Why even hide it at that point. Are you sure they'd be upset if you said you were like 10% straight.
Though
>playing games with your emotions like that
Vapid.
>>27439659
This, you would've literally made her soaked if you said she turned you straight, or even bisexual.
>>27439418
>>27439173
No it was terrible.actually it was good. But what is there to say? If this is actual female behavior I'm rather concerned because it's rare to get explicit consent.
Wtf though, SDT? You'd have to paint hair and face unless you have like a shit ton of mods. Did you just mimic the boobs?
>>27439746
Yeah, it was literally just Brown Hair, Tan-ish Skin, Fat Tats.
>>27439088
OK, here is another
>be 16
>be going in a shitty amusement park
>be bored
>go into one of those shitty death by junk restaurants
>mfw all the big tables are taken by ogres
>they bring these small plastic chairs and a makeshift table
>whatever
>we take our seats, and guess who is having trouble fitting her butt through the tiny chair handles
>she asks me for help and I push her down
>order nothing cause this place disgusts me
>other girls order some stuff
>big booty orders some really junky donut bacon burger (3 of them) and this huge jug of root-beer
>girls jealous her that all her fat goes to her ass trying to make fun of her
>doesn't care, eats it all
>can't believe she eats like that since she has a slender figure until her ass
>chugging the root beer because we are cheering at this point
>bottoms up
>tries to get her ass out of the chair when she's done
>we have to pull her out
>mfw the ass is too fat
>>27437340
>>27437392
hahaha truly you are a faggot
>>27439781
16 year old me can go fucking kill himself I fucking swear the amount of times I had a chance and I just ignored it
>>27439806
I would like to say if I were you I would've cum in her butt right there, but I was also an autist.
>>27439153
old pasta stupid faggot.
>>27440244
It isn't pasta, I've posted it in Threads before.
>/r9k/ is literally for original greentext stories
>the greentext thread is completely ignored sans for some butt stories
>>27439806
Yeah, fuck you, you should've raped her in front of all her friends.
>>27440890
eh I'm not sure if that it is sarcasm but I'm pretty sure that would not have been the best move
>>27441200
You need to impose your dominance over them.
>>27437956
He "lies" by telling the truth, but leaving parts of the truth.
Example: "I like guy butts." If you leave out the fact that you also like girl butts, one would assume that you're gay. A lie by omission.
>>27442553
Makes sense, but why would lying by omission be in...
wait nvm I got it
>>27437658
This, you would've drenched those leggings.
>>27439035
I don't like emo girls but those tits are beautiful
Where are all the fucking booty stories?
