Anyone else having a fucking terrible easter?
>I am obese
>Roughly 300lbs at 5'7 and 24
>Love Easter because nobody gives me shit at Easter for enjoying some candy
>Decide to treat my family and show them the magic of easter
>Buy 5 Easter Eggs for each of my family members (mom, dad, 21 year old sister, 15 year old brother)
>Spend HOURS putting together a scavenger hunt so they can find their eggs
>Write down dozens of clues
>All of the clues are self depreciating jokes
>Give each of them their first clue
>Brothers clue was 'The Place where anons Pop Tarts Plop shortly after they have Popped' (egg hidden behind the toilet)
>He jokes 'the answer is that the egg is in anons fat fucking belly'
>Fathers clue was 'You hate washing anons stained undies, so your egg is with the powder and sundries' (egg under the sink)
>He jokes 'the answer is that the egg is in anons fat fucking belly'
>Sisters clue was 'Anon wakes you with his stomping when he walks past your door, so why don't you check under the floor?' (egg under the floorboards)
>She jokes 'the answer is that the egg is in anons fat fucking belly'
>Mothers clue was 'you make me extra portions for dinner so check the sheets to be a winner' (egg under her bedsheets)
>She jokes 'the answer is that the egg is in anons fat fucking belly'
>they refused to participate
>now I am sitting in my room with 20 easter eggs
>have already started eating, will probably finish them inside 2 weeks
I hate this holiday
>>27437310
i dont know if this is bait or not, if it isnt then, thats fucking bullshit and they dont appreciate you senpai
also see about losing weights and somehow to spend your tie doing something other then eating, and i mean that seriously with no hidden meanings
>>27437636
But I like eating
>>27437663
And I like taking drugs. But I don't take them every day and ruin my life.
Fucking fat people...
>>27437663
met too, i eat when im bored and thats all the time considering i have no life, just try to find something you enjoy more thats outdoors and is time consuming, like hiking or just travelling around, even dicking around at the park is bbetter
>>27437310
My mom caught the flu from trying a new authentic African restaurant where they can grill you wildebeest, so now we can't do much. We were supposed to have all our relatives over but it's rescheduled to next week. On the bright side I'm using today as my cheat day and eating most of my candy.
Is this an autism/cringe thread?
Anyway, stop eating so much you fat fuck.
>>27437310
If no bait, then you got rekt.
My easter experience:
>In my room, blinds closed like always
>watch some airing anime
>get gifts from my close family
>return to room, sleep
>wake up, play vidya
>sleep again
It's all the same, nothing really amuses me anymore.
Also, I guess I'm the polar opposie of you, I absolutely hate eating.
Probably gonna eat 1 instant ramen today, maybe even a bag of snacks or something.
I'm trying my best to stop fetishizing fat boys because I made one very angry with my autism and I promised him I would stop but you keep making threads like that and it's making it very difficult for me.
>>27437310
Also, you're fat and some of these hints sound autistic, kys
>>27437636
Imagine being that cat in your pic and then the human turns on the grill and all you can do is struggle because of the awkward position you're stuck in as you basically burn to death...
Would probably be pretty intense, familia desu.
I didnt even know it was easter until this thread
Sister wants to move out, she's 16. Honestly I'm OK with watching her destroyed out there, she's a disrespectful waste of resources, even more so than me
Yes, I am enjoying my easter days off by taking a vacation and just lounging by the poolside.
>>27437310
mine's going ok, only have one egg so far, but at least i finally get to post this gif
> Family yelling and screaming
> They're acting like the fucking president is coming over for Easter, even though no one is
> just want to curl up and die
>>27437310
>will probably finish them inside 2 weeks
>2 weeks for 20 eggs
you're pathetic, man
>>27438619
I've already eaten 4 so maybe we can revise that.
I'm being a wage cuck , I don't think my family is doing anything really.
>>27437310
actually I didnt know it was easter
>>27438708
>I've already eaten 4
>thread is about 2 hours old
>2 hours and just 4 eggs
you keep humiliating yourself, boi
>>27437310
>tfw Dominican, live in germany, adopted
>"mother" blasts dominican music on full volume
>tfw can't focus on book I read
>tfw can't watch anime because music too loud
>browsing r9k while waiting for 2pizzas I manipulated my mother into buying
>still depressed, just want to die in my room right now
>>27437310
this is fake as fuck but i chuckles a little
>>27437310
I have never understood the connection between the death of Jesus and candies. I guess they are here to ease my pain and make me feel less guity for being the cause of his sacrifice. I have this unique opportunity of being alive and enjoy delicious chocolate candies, and for that I have to say thanks, to Jesus. I probably should make his life worthy, and buy as many as possible, with my well earned wagecuckery money. Thank you Lord Jesus, we all love you, and we all love chocolate candies. God bless.
I still have my Christmas chocolate
I don't get why people like chocolate so much I can only eat it a few times a year
>>27439196
>Jesus died
ummm, he resurrected,
Easter is a celebration of that, candy is here to celebrate his triumph over death...
What's not to understand?
>>27437310
Hey op, this is first replier here, again saying it sucks and work on losing thay weight, also font kys, will post more afER I get home from praising to skydaddy
>>27437310
>tfw hate chocolate
>everyone's always OH SHIT ANON YOU GOTTA BUY THIS, I GOTTA GIVE YOU THAT
>thinks it's a waste of time but appease the normies anyway
>end up wasting tons of money
I hate easter.
>>27439196
Pagans
>>27437310
My little sister hid the Easter eggs inside our home so I didn't need to go outside. Pretty fucking great Easter even though I'd don't really like chocolate any more. I've got box of instant noodles and sardines though for when I wake up tonight.
That egg looks like a drawing of shit in hentai doujins. Seriously
If this is how easter egs are inside, well I'll never be able to eat one.
>>27439196
Jesus is the pure and innocent lamb that has been slaughtered.
Traditionally you'd eat lamb at Easter to symbolically cannibalize the corpse of the son of God, so you can absorb the godly power for yourself.
Cannibalism is a very common theme in the Christian faith.
It kinda warped into candies for some reason, I dunno why.
>mum gave me a easter egg
>lactose intolerant but oh well its easter
>ate some anyway now I cant stop farting and my stomach hurts
wtf mum
>>27439823
I'm an ambassador of the glorious "genetically normal people", I came to tell you that you are a Loser. Haha, genetics 1, you -1.
>>27439196
I think it because lent ended so you can resume eating luxeries.
>>27439196
If anything it would make the most sense to eat rabit. Because of the easter bunny and all that.
>>27439196
Easter was a fertility holiday created by European pagans until the church hijacked it and added the Jesus shit to it.
>>27437310
>tfw didn't get an Easter basket this year
Isn't easter supposed to be in april?
>>27437891
The cat would absolutely get out in time. You've clearly never fucked with cats before.
>work up the courage to leave the house after a week of severe depression
>sunny, warm
>need food and meds for hives
>everything is closed; grocers, farmer's market, Chinese place
It's not Christmas or New Years, who gives a shit about Easter except fanatical Christians and Sunday Christians.
Enjoyed the morning eating japanese candy with my little sister, so pretty good senpai.
>mum didn't get me a big basket of easter goodies, with a hulking huge stuffed bunny rabbit
I enjoyed shitting on her chinese takeout and trashing her boyfriend's room. Fucking whore. I almost passed out from all that stress. She knows i need to eat chocolate to survived. Dirty fucking whore...
>>27439196
The holiday is spliced with a pagan fertility holiday. That's why with the eggs and rabbits, they're symbols of fertility. Candies are just so children like it and it's a celebration, why not?
