File: 1456934934584.gif (269 KB, 234x249) Image search: [Google]

269 KB, 234x249

During the last 48 hours I've been waking up from a nightmare from hell and beyond of embarrassment. Not to say I haven't suspected it, but I didn't think it was this bad.

I have all of my adolescent life been tricked into believing I live a successful social life. During the first week of senior high school I finally got a lot of attention from girls for having a "nice smile". Being bullied through the entirety of my education, I'm a sucker for flattery.
As I started to get invited to parties, a girl would come along and shape my life, for better or worse.

It started with her getting a bit to drunk, and ended with me kissing her. Obviously everyone would of this on the following Monday. As painfully awkward lunch breaks went by at school, I persistently chatted with her on MSN. It took almost a half year of this before we started hanging out with each other at home, and would start kissing.
This escalated to fingering, before we became a couple and broke each other's virginity.

I think she genuinely had a great time with me as she was very possessive. When high school ended, so did our relationship. I will maybe go more into detail about how we two worked together as a couple in future posts.

What I should talk about is how many terrible people I surround myself with.
Those who:
>invites me to parties so I can embarrass myself even more
>use me as their personal taxi driver, for spare change
>talk about others, when they're really talking about me
>compliment me in a patronizing way
>have let this go on for so long when I'm obviously deluded and making great shame to my family

My family is good people, but they have failed to see the signs and get me professional help.

How I came to realize how bad things are? After drinking hard on and off with my "friends" for 5 days, and while sobering up (this may be the delirium) I came to the conclusion that everything just makes sense with an autist deluded into thinking he's not.