I've come to realize that I will never escape this torture, even at the age of 24!
Back in school I was the socially awkward retard who didn't really have any 'real' friends except for the odd kid I would speak to in class, when it was lunch/break time I would leave and walk to the store then take longest way back while stuffing my face with candy & soda that I bought, lunch lasted an hour so I did lots of mindless walking so I didn't have to sit by myself in the lunch hall.
Here I am at 24, still living at home and applying for crappy minimum wage jobs and sitting at home all day shitposting, watching TV and sleeping but a few days ago I had the urge to revisit my past, the attempt to get out of this deep depression so you know what I did?
I woke up at 10am and actually walked to my old school and did the sad lonely walk to the store and bought the stuff I used to buy at 15-16 and then did the lonely walk back hoping it would help me out of my depression but instead I was a 24 year old sobbing mess who had tears falling from his fat face while stuffing chocolate and soda into my mouth.
I ran home and went back to bed and haven't left the house since.
Depression fucking sucks man, it is never going to end is it?
Take your life, anon. Feel the sweet embrace of death.
I feel you man I have kind of the same problem as you with having no friends in uni and I'm in my second last year. Explain why that walk caused you to break down?
>>27425014
I did consider it but I am too much of a pussy.
>>27425049
I'm not sure man, I did that same fucking walk for like 4 years, bought the same shit and walked the same fucking route back. After years of sitting indoors it kind of all come back to me, thinking about the 5-6 years I have wasted doing nothing with my life.
feels bad man.
>>27424931
I was the exact same in school
>fat fuck
>faking confident and outgoing because apparently that gets you friends
>no friends except the occasional person who talked to me
>tried to commit suicide twice
>depressed for 2 years
>dropped out year 10
>homeschooled
>accepted my situation and started to make the most of it
>lost all my fat
>down to 15% bfp starting lifting
>now in uni to become a paramedic
What I think your problem is that its really difficult to move on and fix your life unless you take full responsibility. Accept that your actions have made you depressed, then accept that your actions can fix your life the same way they fucked it up. Do what you think needs to be done whether it be getting /fit/, a job, a hobby or whatever but you need to change or just die now nobody will care. Gl senpai
>>27424931
Worst part for me is that i had plenty of friends back in school, now i'm 23 and i can't make friends anymore for some reason, kids and teens are just easier to deal with i guess.
>in middle school and high school i was just the class clown type
>not overly ridiculous, i would just say funny things here or there or give funny presentations and was also weird
>have no real friends, just acquaintances i would talk to in class
>would be like this everywhere, i could get to know people but just acquaintances
>get to college
>hope that living in a dorm and maybe being around people in a non-class only setting would make people realize that i was fun to be around
>oh wait the social isolation from high school meant that i had no idea how to act around people in social situations
>alone there too
