So tell me, /r9k/, has there ever been a time where you could have gotten laid, but you fucked up in such a huge way that you were denied?
Last thursday I turned down an opportunity to fuck some cheating ho that I was feeling up at a bar because I wanted to get high instead. I don't really consider this a loss.
>>27424004
the guy in your pic has nothing to do with anything anal
>>27424065
He might have fucked a goat or two in the ass.
>>27424092
http://www.centracare.com/providers/profile/muhamma-fareed-suri/#OfficeInformation
he's a doctor in america so it's not that likely
he did grow up in pakistan though, so there's a chance
>>27424004
Well, I got born as me instead of as something else.
>>27424004
your confidence only decreases thinking this way. i know from experience. women aren't a video game. here's what you do.
>volunteer details about yourself, but don't ramble
>be completely silent when she is talking. don't try to jump in and be a comedian too much.
>watch her breathing and body language to see if she's comfortable
if you do this often enough, and can be chill about inviting her over to hang, or asking if you can go back to her's to hang, and can be chill about initiating cuddling, and can be confident in kissing her (on the cheek at first to see her reaction), you'll get laid
>>27424333
>>watch her breathing and body language to see if she's comfortable
so look failure in the eyes and give up
got it
First opportunity:
>16 years old
>Friend's gf breaks up with him but I remain friends with her since we had a lot in common
>She says she's horny and misses sex
>Asks me if I'm down for casual sex
>Say no, I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings
>Change my mind, ask her again later and she says no
Second opportunity:
>18 years old
>On OKCupid
>See chubby feminist, single mom profile, says she's open about sex and stuff, is down for casual sex
>Just say in the first message I want to have sex with her
>We talk a little more, tell her I'm a virgin, she has no issue with it and even thinks it's hot
>Sends me nudes
>Pussy isn't totally roasted but has a clit piercing and that freaks me out for some reason
>Send awkwardly worded message backing out and I think I accidentally hurt her feelings
Third opportunity:
>21 years old
>Got high paying but stressful job and have become a wanton alcoholic
>Dancing alone at a dangerous and sleazy bar (would later try cocaine for the first time in the bathroom of that place)
>Random guy comes up to me and tells me "hey those girls think you're hot"
>Walk up to them and ask them to dance
>We dance, but I'm not even paying attention to them
>I'm so fucked up they ask if I'm high on bath salts
>I reply with gibberish non sequitur
>[scene missing]
>In the back of some shitty car, two guys I don't know in the front seats, I'm sandwiched between the two girls making out with with of them
>Realize the guy driving is probably drunk
>Oh shit I'm gonna die in a car wreck, I tell them this
>Put my head in my hands, start crying and reciting the Shahada in Arabic repeatedly saying if I die tonight I want to die a good Muslim (I'm not a Muslim or Arab FYI, but I was studying it at the time)
>Girl to my right lifts my head up to her and tongue kisses me more
>Starts rubbing my cock through jeans, should have grabbed her tits but I didn't for some reason
>End up discussing buying ketamine as we drive around but can't find the dealer
cont.
>>27424428
>Never found any ketamine
>Talk about sex with the girls
>One is on her period, says she'll blow me but the other is dtf
>Eventually find myself in some random guys apartment
>We just shoot the shit smoking cigarettes, weed and listening to music
>Eventually just leave, a virgin
>Stumble home
And that is the long and sad saga of how I fucked up every opportunity at getting laid. I regret it all now. I should have fucked every one of them. Actually, there's a few more fuckups I can remember if you want me to share, but I don't know if anyone is reading this 2bh.
>>27424428
>>Realize the guy driving is probably drunk
>>Oh shit I'm gonna die in a car wreck, I tell them this
>>Put my head in my hands, start crying and reciting the Shahada in Arabic repeatedly saying if I die tonight I want to die a good Muslim (I'm not a Muslim or Arab FYI, but I was studying it at the time)
bruh what the fuck is wrong with you
Pls share more though, I like these.
A girl invited me over once. I ignored it. We were both 8 or something but I'm thinking it could have been the moment that set me on the right path.
>>27424710
Aight. Speaking of Islam. This happened not long after the last story.
>Laid off from job for winter, have $3k saved up just for fun
>Decide to visit Montreal for the first time, go by myself, don't even make hotel reservations or plan it, just buy a train ticket and go
>Turns out it's New Years, lucky to get a hotel first try with no reservation
>Still a self destructive alcoholic of course
>Whole trip is basically Lost in Translation, except I didn't get super close to the female friend I made there, we had some good times though, she's not in this story though
>A few days after the New Years party, I'm alone getting drunk in a bar, talking to random guys
>Meet some Saudi Arabian guy in Canada for university
>Neato, we talk about Islam and politics
>Says he doesn't like the Saudi kingdom, says people there put graffiti of Che Guevara everywhere and that most people are level headed, not over zealous Shariah nutjobs
>3 am, bar closes
>Saudi invites me to his apartment
>Sure I'll go alone with a stranger to their apartment, what could go wrong?
>We get there, keep talking about Islam and stuff
>I mention the Shams al Marif al Kurba, an Arabic-Syrian book about astrology, dhikr (Sufi prayer), spells for summoning djinn and whatnot
>He's impressed I know what this is, calls me wise, humbly say I don't know how to read it so not really
>We look up some images of the pages on Google and he translates a bit of it for me
>We consider attempting to summon a demon, but it seems like too much effort
>Says I can stay the night
>"Here, change into this"
>Gives me some PJs to slip into
>Go into bathroom and change
>He's put some porn on his laptop, one of those cam sites
>I'm oblivious as to why
>We drink vodka and smoke weed
>We decide to go to sleep, asks me if I want to cuddle
>"Sure, isn't that gay though?"
>"No it's not gay, it's natural"
>K den, start suspecting he has some sexual motivations
cont.
>>27424004
Why? Man-whores are just as bad as regulars.
>>27425235
g0 0ne
>>27425235
>He starts rubbing my thighs as we cuddle
>I get a boner (I am bisexual, or something)
>He starts masturbating me
>Return the favour
>Eventually he sucks my dick a bit, I suck his
>Asks if I want to receive buttsex
>No way
>It's sunrise at this point
>We continue masturbating each other, but I fall asleep from being really high and drunk
>Wake up at 10 am, still all high and shit but a little more sober, remember everything because I was mostly lucid, having been an experienced toker and drinker at this point
>I have to sign into the hotel or I might lose the room or something, tell him I have to go
>He begs me to stay
>"Sorry I can't"
And that was that. I'm glad I didn't take up the ass that night, but I regret not making cummies. I jacked off to the memory of it when I got back to the hotel, so I dunno why I left in a hurry since I enjoyed it. I had a few hours to spare.
I seriously was oblivious to his sexual motivations until he started touching me though. I really just can't pick up on that stuff.
>2 weeks ago
>9/10 hottest girl i actually know calls for a ride
>make $20 for <$5 worth of gas + spend time with QT3.14
>take her to meet friends at mountain park
>tells me to come with
>do.
>get lost looking for friends
>hold hands say dumb ur cute shit
>find friends
>post up in hammock, cuddle
>leave park, make out in my car
>go to bar with her and other friends
>still making out at the bar
>friend asks for a ride home
>she says come back for me
>I do
>get back, she surrounded by dudes
>tfw she leaves with them to go do drugs and hits you up to pick her up an hour away at 6 AM
>I girl was sucking my dick and i said i didn't like it, so she stopped and cried
>Also i came in my pants before she started sucking
>>27425476
Oh, and I have two more stories but they're not as weird. One is kind of feels, the other is well a bit weird I guess, nothing in comparison to the last few though.
>>27425494
I hate when women pull this kind of shit.
>>27425494
God I hope so much this didn't actually happen. I didn't think I could hate women any more. I also hope you didn't give her the ride the next day.
I managed to go home with this girl who was pass out-drunk. Ended up naked in bed with her while she had a bra and panties on. She was pretty much on the verge of unconsciousness but let me squeeze the bewb. Tried to finger the vagoo but she pushed my hand away and went to sleep. Woke up in the morning and talked about her cats for four hours. One of them managed to step on my balls.
Girl 1:
>in her room talking one night
>put my hand on her thigh, she's cool with it
>she's giving me the eyes
>my best friend had huge crush on her though
>i leave
>she never was into me since
Girl 2:
>online 'relationship'
>she lives only like 45m away but no car
>eventually we agree to meet up and take her virginity
>between setting the date and the date happening we got in a big fight
>ended things with her before we met
