I fucked up and went into my bathroom to fap with my laptop and mid session all of my roommates came back with friends
I've just been waiting in here hoping they decide to sleep before my laptop dies but its been 30 minutes and no luck
This is it
This is the night my normalcool facade falters
my laptop has 20 minutes left
I'm so fucking fucked
lol did you go in there naked or something?
you dumbass
>>27410243
I have clothes on but how is it gonna look if I walk out after 90 minutes with my laptop and a mysterious bulge in my pajams
>>27409932
What's the issue exactly?
>>27410260
wait til boner is gone and just say you didnt feel well
you're making this harder than it has to be
should have bailed out as soon as they got back now your fucked after being in there for over an hour in stealth mode hahahahahahahah that is gonna be weird and awkward when you walk out randomly.
>>27410304
the bulge would be my lube not the dick
do I just go out into a crowd with a lot of people I don't even know and describe why I just had an awful shit? that sounds just as bad
>>27410260
yeah you're fucked now, you should have went out when they came
>>27409932
Complete normalfag/Chad here.
Chill on my toilet so long sometimes just on my phone or with my shit reading material that I get a Fucking ring indented around my ass for hours.
Not abnormal, just lose track of time at times.
And just tuck the Fucking chub in your waistband dude.
>>27410324
close the laptop around the lube
Just say you had food poisoning and work you needed to get done
are you retarded?
walk out, if anyone says anything you were watching a movie in the bathtub.
just say you were netflix n pooing
>needing a laptop to masturbate
>needing lubricant to masturbate
Burgerclaps, everyone.
>>27409932
Hide your laptop in the cabinets underneath the bathroom sink and get out of there you fucking moron. Just grab it later after everyone leaves.
Tell them you were looking up how to fix a broken shower because you thought it was broken.
Or say you've been pissing weird colored urine and you were looking up what that meant.
Or something like that. You know what I mean.
Run out screaming and pissing and shitting and jizzing fucking EVERYWHERE
I'd just walk out with my laptop. If they asked why I had it I'd just say I was jerking off. What's the big deal?
Say you were busy messaging their moms. Wrekt them on the spot
>>27410428
solution found
pack it up boys, this thread is over
windows just sent the warning
10% left
time of reckoning is nigh
fuck me I'm doing nofap starting tomorrow
>>27410508
It'll be too late by thenYou Know that.
You know that damn well
Still being in the bathroom is more suspicious than leaving with your laptop.
Also
>having roommates
>>27410508
hahahhaha an inspiration to us all OP. i look forward to seeing your green text story of this in a embarrassing moments thread in a few days. dont worry we are all here together on r9k we feel your pain.
Do your roommates and co. know where you are? Do they think you're out or something?
>>27410508
>fuck me I'm doing nofap starting tomorrow
thats a god damn lie and you know it
Laughing my absolute ass off right now! Ahahahahahahah so funny ahahahah.
It's threads like this that make r9k still worth it
Say you had to win an Ebay auction but you had the poops
>>27409932
OP you just have to be super casual about it. If they bring it up you have to act so cool like they're the ones being weird for thinking it's weird. You're going to need a level 10 poker face
Stick your fingers down your throat and gag, bonus points if you puke
Wrap the laptop and lube up in a towel and/or your t shirt and walk out looking sick.
Go stash your laptop somewhere then ask the group if anybody has pepto bismol.
If anybody asks you feel asleep after puking.
Just take a bath and say you were using it to listen to music you twat.
did OP die?? did he make it?? godspeed OP.
I want to know how this story ends
