What would be the 'last straw' before you finally did it?
Do you have a plan?
>>27405988
Does helium actually kill you?
I've tried over 9000 times and it still hasn't worked
I'm killing myself on April 1st because I think it would be funny, I'm going to jump off the George Washington Bridge.
>>27406075
Yes but only pure helium. Like the kind you get at a welding shop
>>27405988
Don't they actually fill those motherfuckers with 35% oxygen now?
As for a plan, I think the best one is probably shotgun with 00 buckshot or a slug through the brain.
Alternatively jumping from an extremely high building, like 100+ meters tall and preferably hitting concrete so you die fast. (jumping from bridges won't work due to water physics which will make it hurt the same way as hitting concrete but then you will drown for 20 min before you die).
>>27406129
>Don't they actually fill those motherfuckers with 35% oxygen now?
no, see >>27406115
Oxygen causes porosity in welds so they can't put it in with any shielding gas
>>27405988
>What would be the 'last straw' before you finally did it?
I honestly don't know. As much as people imagine the "last straw" being some really big, life-altering trauma, I suspect in my case it's going to be some random inconsequential thing that pushes me over the edge.
If something horrible happened to me I could create a narrative in my mind to make it palatable. It's a struggle it's us vs them it's a fight between good and evil, etc
...
Then there's the little shit, the little bullshit. That's the stuff that reminds me how completely pointless and absurd existence really is. Breaking a pencil tip or stepping in a spot of water in fresh socks... it's that sort of thing that really makes me want to kill myself.
>Do you have a plan?
A heavy dose of pentobarbital preceded by diazepam to relax.
>>27406129
>Don't they actually fill those motherfuckers with 35% oxygen now?
for party balloons it would make sense, they save money and lives
Really isn't a last straw for me since I've snapped many times and now am dead set on stealing my grandfather's shotgun next time I visit him and blowing my brains out. Just a waiting game now.
I don't know if anybody remembers me.
"6 - 9 Month Suicide Note / Essay" OP here.
Using a .308 rifle somewhere in the range of, well, 6 - 9 months.
It is a perfect plan.
>get seasonal shift in Winter
>makes depression much worse
>get sad
>father gets seasonal shift as well
>he gets mad
Every year, he fucking goes ballistic and either knocks the living shit out of me with a crowbar (Year One) or I take him out before he gets a weapon (Years Two and Three). Either way, I get so low about it I become massively suicidal and have to be hospitalized or put on astronomically high doses of medication. This year, I am not even going to fight. He'll go off, I'll flip, and I'll shoot myself in the head with a .308 on video for /r9k/, leaving behind an essay, a video monologue, and the actual livestream of me shooting myself in the head.
I am currently writing short letters to my girlfriend, mother and brother as they are the only people in my life, and I've been working on the essay for two weeks so far, dropping threads here and there for /r9k/.
>life imprisonment
>kidnapping
>if someone were to ever hurt either of my brothers (because I would track them down and torture them for months)
>blindness
>any diseases affecting the brain or nervous system
Someday, I plan on having one of my molars knocked out and having a hollow fake made containing a cyanide ampule.
>>27405988
You know that shit contains oxygen so you can't suicide with it. If you want the good stuff, go to a welding supply shop. Something like Airgas.
http://www.airgas.com/category/Gases-Industrial-Application-Gases-Helium-Industrial/_/N-82p
You want industrial, not balloon grade.
>>27406454
Don't do that to your Grandad, go get your own shotgun.
armslist.com
Somewhat off-topic, but does anyone else here seem to get less depressed when they have whatever instrument they were going to kill themselves with, or just a weapon in general?
For me it's like.
-Be depressed.
-pick up firearm
-feels good in my hand
-start cheering up, imagine shooting it in my backyard at glass bottles and iron plates
-my hand feels natural clenching my pistol, all is suddenly right with the world, my depression is gone, and I get a warm fuzzy feeling every time I glance at the weapon.
Dammit guns, why you always gotta cheer me up??
>>27407516
I know that feel all to well. It's the comfort of knowing that even if your worst nightmares come true, even if the suffering becomes unbearable, as long as you can still pick up a handgun, you can quit at any time. That comfort is something normies will never understand.
There are no 'straws'. Nothing happens in my life. I'll continue on doing nothing until I arbitrarily decide to kill myself.
>>27407629
No, for me it's more along the lines that I just enjoy shooting and mechanical things in general.
