I just shit my fucking pants. I'm 23, it's my third day at my new job, and I just shat myself.
What the fuck do I do?
>>27394695
No you didn't
Stop lying
>>27394707
I wish I were lying, friend. I thought it was a fart but a little liquid shit came out. I drank for the first time in a few weeks last night because adderall+alcohol destroyed my intestines, and this is what I fucking get
>>27394695
You're fucked either way.
If you try to leave to the bathroom to clean it up, someone will see you and smell it. Also it's IMPOSSIBLE to clean your pants up when you've shit yourself. Literally impossible. You'll never get it out.
On the other hand, if you stay where you are someone will notice anyway. The power of shit stench is overwhelming. You don't actually notice when it's in a toilet, but when it's right there in your pants, WEW LAD, it never goes away.
Probs just kill yourself mate.
>>27394695
I have chronic anal fissures, stop being a pussy. I'd shit my pants, grab a handful, and eat my own excrement in front of 1000 people to get rid of my fissure problem. REEEEEEEEE
>>27394695
go to the bathroom and throw your underwear away.
>>27394695
>What the fuck do I do?
check em'
>>27394695
I developed some serious gastritis on my last job.
I was always super nervous and in fear of fucking up even though I never fucked up.
Sometimes my stomach would make those crazy rumbling sounds and I would have to rush to the bathroom there and have some super acidic burning diarrhea.
I left the job and just went back to being a NEET.
>>27394729
Ohh damn bro, sorry that sucks. Just seems weird that you'd get on rchan with shit running down your leg
I know that amphetamine and alcohol feeling though. Made me shit my pants one time too
>literally shitting yourself
jesus fucking christ
have you been fucking your ass with dildos or something and now have a loose ass that leaks? i cannot believe that
>>27394749
That's what I'm thinking. I have my own office so it might be doable. My pants are black so it wouldn't be noticeable if it seeped out but I feel like the way I walk will give me away.
Oh wait I do have a plastic bag. Should I close the door and try to take them off in here? Or do I go for the bathroom
Your only option is to become a NEET at this point.
i cant trust a man who hasnt shit himself at least once as an adult, pretend you are sick and go home for the day OP
Every man shits himself at least once in his adult life. I tell everyone I know that will see the funny side of it... as for your current situation. Throw those undies away and get the fuck on with your day or else say you feel sick and clean yourself up at home then laugh about it tomorrow.
>>27394796
>i cant trust a man who hasnt shit himself at least once as an adult
>>27394769
Stimulants will fuck your digestion up and make you have to shit really bad. It happens
>>27394785
go to the bathroom, it's safer.
>>27394836
Especially alcohol + stimulants. It's a good short term combo because it allows you to feel drunk yet stay in control, but in the long term it'll ravage your system
OP, listen close, this happened to me once in high school. Go to the bathroom, get in a stall, take off your underwear and pray it hasn't seeped into your pants. Clean yourself up with toilet paper. Put your pants back on commando style. Ball your underwear up in toilet paper and throw it in the bathroom trashcan.
Mission accomplished, fellas
>>27394965
Good work op
Desu desu
>>27394965
OP really delivered kek
>>27394965
Holy shit, you weren't fucking around.
>>27394965
Fucking kekk
