>be me
>2003
>35 year old man, in the US military
>taken hostage
>have left an 8 year old boy and a wife back home
>I hope my kid grows up well
>be me
>2016
>13 years of living as an hostage
>heard nothing from family
>freed and going back to the US
>land in Fort Worth Airport
>see my wife
>she still looks beautiful, and happy to see me
>her eyes are sad
>"where's Anonson?"
>"oh, well, he did not want to leave the house"
>shocked
>"what do you mean he did not want to leave the house?"
>"he's been... staying in the basement"
>mfw
>we go home
>"honey, we have to stop to buy groceries"
>"what are you talking about, I want to see my son!"
>"please..."
>"no, we have to go now"
>...
>this does not look good
>what the fuck is going on?
>we go home
>as soon as we get in, I hear a horrible scream
>MOMMY MOMMY DID YOU BRING MY TENDIES
>TENDIES TENDIES FOR MY TUMMY
>a 300 pounds, filthy, crusty person comes rising from the basement
>the stench compares with the one in the goatcaves in Iraq
>I look at my wife
>she is looking down
>"I told you we needed to buy groceries"
>he's still my son
>I try and hug him
>he ignores me
>looks at my wife
>MUMMY NO TENDIES FOR MY TUMMY
>he pulls down his pants
>he has a diaper
>POO POO AND PEE PEE GO GO GO
>I am in state of shock
>he starts shitting and peeing all over the floor
>PTSD kicks in
>beat the shit out of him
>he is now quiet
>wife seems happy
>mrw
if that had happened to me i'd have gotten back on the plane and found the nearest goatfucker to take me hostage again
HAHAHA XD MY FRIEND! EPIC EBIN POST! WE ARE GONNA TAKE THIS STRAIGHT TO THE TOP OF R/4CHAN!
OP here, somebody posted it on /r/4chan?
10/10 story, reminds me of the days when we didn't actually identify with the subjects of these stories.
Praise Jesus for he is rebirth!
The saddest part is that OP actually thought this was a hilarious story and that people would praise him for his genius.
>>27393882
It's was pretty funny.
>>27393882
Atleast it's a different kind of post compared to the rest
>>27393904
Come on OP, we know it's you.
>>27393015
implying your wife wouldn't have found a bernie supporter to raise your son by then
>>27393882
the humor is in the hubris DUDE
>>27393919
>The color and smell of this turd is different than the other turds.
>Be in my old unit
>Platoon Sergeant used to keep us around until 1700 every. mother. fucking. day, because the only thing waiting for him back home was his fat fuck wife and his fat fuck autistic son
A NEET manchild is still more respectable than a baby killing, uneducated, military welfare queen.
People in the military are scum. They are the people who barely graduated high school, have some fucked up mentality where they desire some violent position, they sign up for our bloated military, and think they deserve respect.
>hurr durr defend our freedoms
Stirring up shit in the Middle East has only caused more problems that have been escalating since the retarded conservatives of the 80s got in power. They are defending nothing over there and only making the world a more dangerous place.
There hasn't been a justifiable war in 70 years and then men were forced to go to war, not mental rejects with no other option like those who make up our current military.
>>27394055
Somebody took it personally
