Army bot here.
Why haven't you at LEAST joined the reserves?
>go to basic get in shape, while getting paid
>come home and only go to work once a month
>if you get deployed, get to see the world and fuck hooks
>pick from the army's 200 or so jobs based on what you want
>if you go active get basically all your college free
>reservists get basically all their community free
Give me one reason besides medical.
Aside from being medically disqualified for the military, I really don't think I could handle sleeping in a room with a bunch of other dorks, especially in the sweltering heat of Texas where I'd probably have to go for basic.
>>27371901
I'm in the reserves. Its good for some extra money but that's basically it.
>>27371966
There's no basic training in Texas.
>>27371901
-my parents wouldn't let me
-I would probably get bullied
-I prefer working out on my own rather than in the military because you cant bulk in the military
>>27371901
I am deaf in my left ear.
That in its self disqualifys me.
They also want young bucks to brain wash anything past 19 they rarely accept because not as susceptible to uncle Sam's cock.
>contribute to making the world the violent shithole that it is
>not actually serving your country, just the corrupt fucks in charge of it
>having to do what some screaming faggot says
>actually wanting to become part of some silly hierarchy -costanza.jpeg
>get paid next to nothing
>can actually come farther in life by self studying and working a real job
>no freedom to do what you want
>have to hang out with a bunch of submissive losers all the time
i'm fine, thank you.
>>27371901
They're called reserves for a reason.
I want to die on my own terms, not in some stupid battlefield.
>>27371901
you forgot a big selling point for any military work
>even an autistic fucktard can rise high in the ranks
seriously it's like the movie Gattacca, if you have prior problems just fucking lie about them and do your best to pull it off. i'd still be a fucking virgin if i hadn't joined up a decade ago when i was 19.
>>27371901
>No Diploma
>Wouldn't pass Psyche exam
>Wouldn't pass fit to fucking lazy skiny fat cunt
>Don't think i could take orders from some shit wad with a fancy stripe on his hat
>Overall just to dumb for it
Depression is on med record
would that stop me?
>>27372141
Depends on your countrys military rules
it might fuck you up more then just joining the military
>>27372120
>too dumb for the army
Now you're just talking crazy talk. Nobody is too fucking stupid to join any branch of the military. Really, even the Air Force is a bunch of retards. They join a branch with the worst duty stations, marry + knock up disgusting townies in places like Arizona and Kansas and end up feeding them and their crotch spawn forever after she inevitably cheats and they get divorced.
I don't want to get cucked by my government
>>27372072
I like to think of it as building skills for when everything finally does go to total shit. In the post-apocalypse, who would be more likely to survive? The guy who had military training or the executive accountant.
>>27371966
You'd go to Fort Benning in Georgia
>>27372014
Basically why I joined.
>>27372104
Not all solders go to combat. I'm IT so I sit at a desk. I'll only really need a rifle if we're under attack.
>>27372117
This is true.
>>27372141
You can lie about it I believe. If you have cut scars it's a disqualifier. They can't pull personal medical records. I would ask your recruiter.
>>27372185
OP here. Scored 97 on the asvab. You need a 31 to get it, but more jobs are available if you score higher on certain parts. (You need a high score on technical to get IT)
>>27372255
This
>>27372185
>>27372185
The crotch spawn bit made me laugh hard
I'm really to dumb for it i need a calculator for any math i learned some imperial measurements over metric ones in a metric country PSI pounds feet instead of whatever the metric fags use for pressure and kg i have no idea why 20kg weighs more then 20Lbs that fucks me up and meters well that's just fuckin gay so there's that plus i don't know about the group hazing if i fuck up i'll get a soap bar beating in the middle of the night and a 30-06 round before the end of it all
military chads would bully me for being an anime robot loser
And if there's a psyche exam I wouldn't pass it.
>>27371901
would have done it but medically disqualified like
>>27371966
i wanted chair force
>>27372343
As far as I know, hazing is a dischargeable offense
>>27372348
I'm an anime robot. All you really need to do it know how to run, and know how to not stand out.
There is a psyche exam, but it's odd.
It's a 2 choice per question quiz, with weird choices. Such as:
Which sounds more like you?
1. I like getting my work done early
2. I enjoy working in groups
Things that don't have to do with each other.
I passed, and my counselor said "well, we know you're not crazy"
As long as you don't say you have a history of something that isn't obvious, you should be fine. Talk to a recruiter, they'll give you the best advice.
>>27372033
My brother did his basic training in Texas. He's in the AF.
I guess you're talking about the army specifically.
>>27371901
Because I dont like getting yelled at :c
Reasons I can't join the military:
>on psych meds already, they don't accept people like me
>get bullied by military chads for being a weeb
>burn up in the hot sun in basic training
>pasty fat bastard
>assuming I get accepted, burn up in the hot sun of the middle east
>medical cundishuns disqualify me from joining
>high school dropout, too dumb to qualify
I'm a failure and a NEET. If I'm fighting in the war, it means we've already lost.
>>27372348
You'd probably like them to bully you, you anime.
>>27371901
Shitty low wage and they will probably fuck over your MOS unless you have a particular degree or certification.
It's a good opportunity for a deadbeat or homeless person to turn around his life but there are definitely way better careers out there.
>>27372255
Basic will teach you how to jog, crawl, and shoot an M16 / M9.
Don't expect some rambo training session
>>27371901
1. I have a heart condition.
2. I already have a college degree.
>>27372495
Well maybe. But I'm not one of those depraved weirdos in steam friend threads.
>fucked up feet/plantar "we don't actually know what's wrong" fasciitis
>irritable "we don't actually know what's wrong" bowel syndrome
>years of anti-depressant use
yeah I'm going against your exemption
Joining soon, Recruiter wants me to go this summer to basic. Pretty /fit/ now so basic i'm sure won't be too hard. I want to go infantry, anything any army bots have to say to deter me from my choice?
>>27372739
Forgot to add i'm not a /dumbfuck/ scored a 75 on practice asvab, good for not taking any math courses in 1 1/2 years. Could get just about any job I wanted to.
>>27372348
Everybody in basic and AIT knew I was a massive weeaboo and nobody gave a shit.
>>27372770
We all laugh at you behind your back.
>tfw got 99th on the asvab
>wanted to go into the navy
>get denied cause I have asthama
now I work a shitty minimum wage job cause I fucked around in highschool and skipped ~180 days.
I just want to do science and math. Fucking kill me
>>27371901
I'm gonna /fit/ for join the army, don't worry.
>>27373620
>>27373620
I lied, I got 98th actually.
But I'm mad at myself since I went into the test without having slept in 2 days or eaten in a whole day. I passed out in the lobby while I waited for an hour before the test, and so when I went into it I wasn't even conscious for the first half.
>>27371901
Only combat roles appeal, and the army is too faggy for me right now. They have forgotten that they exist solely to kill.
>>27372739
Infantry is fine if that's what you want. Don't expect it to get you experience for civilian life when you get out though.
>>27372770
Cute
>>27373670
Good luck man.
>>27373744
Go for whatever you want to do when you get out. Your second job is what you sign up for, your first job is infantry.
>>27371901
Not wanting to be part of the cancerous lump that is the military-industrial complex?
Not interested in dying overseas to further the geopolitical goals of neocons?
Not wanting to get molested by other dudes?
>>27371901
got rejected
Because I won't be able to do drugs if I join the army. I don't know if they even let you smoke. Fuck that, man. If I'm gonna be shooting up Pakis, I wanna be doing it while I'm tweaked out on meth. I read this news article about how all the terrorists are on amphetamine, how am I gonna compete with them if I'm not on their level? The Nazis took meth too, and they took over entire countries in a few days. Meanwhile it takes us like a fucking decade to take over some Middle Eastern shithole, only to lose all control of it in just a few months.
>>27373797
>true
>you won't die unless you're a literal retard
>this doesn't happen
Found the hippie
>>27373825
took 3 weeks to hand Sadaam his ass in a high hat.
>>27371901
Haven't lost my soul yet. Objective evil no longer exists in the world, or if it does, the government is not dedicated to its destruction. I would join the National Guard, at most. Coast guard, maybe.
>>27371901
Army huh? Whats it like for infantry? Would a /fit/ neet /k/ommando be a good canidate for a infintryman?
How would I fucking enlist without selling my soul completely? What about the vaccinations and drugs they give you?
How much would you get paid if you were infantry wanting to go SF or SO or Intel?
Can you chose where to be deployed? Why the fuck not to europe? What about
What about fags and trannies and women in the military? Wouldnt even ranger school be cucked by this time?
>>27371901
absolute shit condition, I would probably get fucked in the ass daily
>>27373767
Nigger, I am from an army family, there is no getting out, I go infantry to special forces, and I will once I have procreated. Just saddens me to see that these once great institutions have become as cucked as the rest of society (lax entry requirements, women etc)
>>27372255
This guy gets it. I don't know why more people don't think like this.
>>27373839
>joins the army
>doesn't want to die in service
That is why it is now cucked, if you thought about the safety of your team over yourself you would be far mkre efficient. I bet you have a civilian life too?
Fucking sickening.
>>27371901
I plan on joining the army as a nurse.
Is army nursing much fun? Do you have much contact with the nurses or..?
I enjoy helping others and the military life really appeals to me, for the same reasons you have stated. And we get taught advanced resuscitation techniques as well as other advanced military techniques, which is awesome because I want to save people.
>>27374008
Because there are not enough tinfoil hats to go around?
>>27373960
Don't brag about gun knowledge. You can go into the reserves, going to a base near your home once a month and possibly being deployed every 5 years. You can sign up for deployments as well. Pay is always based on rank, not job. If you're infantry you're infantry. You can't go intel, that's another job. You can't choose where to be deployed. Europe isn't a conflict zone. Trannies can join but you might fail the psyche exam.
>>27374043
You'll most definitely be deployed to the middle east saving lives and helping dudes with colds. I have no experience in nursing, but if that'd what you want, talk to a recruiter, or Google posts by people with the same job.
>>27371901
Because I don't want to be puppet fighting proxy wars for the enrichment of the oligarchy?
>army
are you serious
>>27374366
Jeez, I ask a genuine question and you're being a sarcastic cunt about it? I guess that's how people are in the military.
hibike is shit pham, I watched the first two episodes and just can't get into it
>>27371901
Because I don't want to die for the Jews
>>27372255
>>27374008
Any apocalypse that would truly eliminate governmental authority at this point probably wouldn't allow for human life afterward.
>>27371901
>literally risk life and limb for a useless college education
>most likely will just return to being a NEET posting cringy shit you did in Iraq while you wait 10 years for your appointment with the veterans hospital to clear
Why is it that the majority of the responses in these types of threads are always "hurr i dont wanna fight and die 4 da joos :^)))"
You dumb fucks do know that the overwhelming majority of military jobs are menial non-combat related shit, right? Or, do you think that every single member of the military is an infantry grunt that gets woken up by a screaming drill instructor every day or some stupid shit? (this is what most civilians seem to think the military is like, after all)
>>27371901
Because reserves is full of massive POG ass faglords who are pretty much shit at everything. I was active for a number of years with multiple deployments then left and had a few years reserve. Got to my unit and they were all a bunch of massive turds who were butthurt I deployed a lot. I ended up fucking my e6 platoon sergeant the first day who was pretty hot, big tits, good ass, and fairly fit. I showed up to drill one more time then never went back. I eventually got kicked out under the threat of taking my GIBILL but they can't touch your active duty rewards so they just gave me a good discharge and here I am. Instead of 4 years in reserves I did 2 drills and life is great.
Reserves is lame, go active or don't go at all.
because i
>have a criminal record
>have drug abuse history
>have mental illness history
tripartite disqualifications senpai
>>27371901
Because I don't want to die for Israel 2bh lad.
WW3 is around the corner.
>besides medical
that's whyit actually feels bad, i totally would, i'd probably join the navy though and get a job doing cryptography or something
>>27373960
Ok honest answer here. Gun knowledge pretty much will do nothing for you in infantry. You will only have to know or really will know what you are using in your unit. Essentially anything extra is useless information if anything you will be even more mad that you will be put on a shit weapon system instead of using your own.
When you enlist, you sell your soul, kind of, but you represent the constitution and not actually those in charge. I see it like selling my soul to defend the constitution instead of selling my soul to a person a rank higher than me like an officer.
As for SF, chances are you won't make it because if you could you would already be in the military and not on the ropes about it. You have to be prepared to have large rotting holes in your feet and to still walk on them for days like many guys I had to fixup and discharge from their indoctrination and training sections.
Pay is the same, it is based on a few factors. One, all enlisted are paid the same based on Rank. Doesn't matter the job. So you pick a job you like and do well in it and you will make more eventually. However, some jobs promote faster than others such as Infantry promotes the fastest in the Army while NBC and other staff jobs promote very slowly.
Officers have variable pay. Most get paid a flat amount based on their rank while certain professions get "competitive pay" and "specialty pay" to keep you from going civilian. A lot of medical professions, engineering, and other stuff give you bonus pay based on your civilian counterparts to keep you willing to stay in and not just give up and quit.
Deployments you do not choose. You can "suggest" to them what you want but in the back end of the Army contract you will see where it says everything in the contract is able to be changed at will by needs of the government. So no, you will go where you are told.
>>27374802
Those jobs are still for the purpose of fighting the wars, right? You're still in the army and could end up fighting at any point if the commanders deem it necessary, right?
I have asthma and there's nothing I can do about it
>>27374043
As for you, depends on what you plan. Do you want to go LPN or RN? If you go LPN you will go to basic training, combat medic school, then assuming you passed both, will get a chance at LPN school there at Ft Sam Houston where you did your combat medic training. The whole time you do combat medic and LPN they will fuck with you, force you to stay up days, waste your time, and do everything they can to make it harder on you so you fail out and get put into a shit job they want against your will. Once you make it, you will get out and be treated like shit by combat medics for being a POG sitting at a hospital or a BSB cleaning bedpans and wiping shit off people. LPN is a shit job, go combat medic instead.
However, if you decide to go RN, you need to attend college and get your RN license and undergraduate degree. You can then commission into the army as a 2nd LT working as an RN. You will have a more comfy job such as vaccinations, making LPNs clean up shit/bedpans, giving drugs, etc. The obvious choice is RN but you have to make it through college and the licensing.
>>27371901
Fat, have a gf, don't want to travel, don't want to be deployed
>>27374987
The people who are seen trying to avoid combat are always fucked with hard by people. If you truly fear combat I would highly suggest staying out of the military unless you are a female and can hide by way of pregnancy. As a male, even if you manage to avoid it, you will never be respected and will eventually feel like a piece of shit because you can't ever talk around combat veterans.
>>27371901
they'd make me cut my hair
>>27371901
i get a panic attack just thinkning about joining the army.
why dont you go to reddit you non-anxiety having piece of shit normie
