All I want are chicken tenders
Fresh from the hands of the tendie vendors
Chunks of chicken I will toss
Into spicy mustard sauce
Mommy, I am hungry - famished
Those nuggies on my plate have vanished
I suggest you get me more
Now, not later, fucking whore!
I scream and shout and wet my diapies
My bum needs soothing wipey wipeys.
Do you want me to get a rash?
Only you would be so brash
This is why my daddy's gone
I'm ashamed to call you mom.
Mommy cries, and fills my plate
Tries to douse my flaming hate
Tendies are the only thing
That seem to ease the gripping pain
The pain within my hungry tummy
Feed your baby, feed me mummy!
Those sweet tendies in my tum
Mask my stinging rashy bum
Mommy sits and has a drink
The only time that she can think
Is when her baby has his treat
Of chocolate milk and chicken meat
Mommy knows what she must do
While her baby has no clue
Pulls the trigger, flash of light
Now it's over, all is right
Silence graces mommy's ears
Smiles through the streaming tears
No more tendies, poop or pee
The pain is over, mommy's free
This is one of the darker tracks from MC Pepe.
I myself prefer "Poopiez out my butt" and "Reeeeee at my niggas".
I am literally shaking rn
Well done OP, you've proven you can rhyme at a high school level
>>27369735
RIP Baby Boy ;_;
Roald Dahl-esque, 6/10.
>>27369785
Why don't you rhyme at a graduate level then, Mr.Faggotpants?
Show us your skills nigga. Step up or shut the fuck up.
>>27369735
Post the good version OP
Beautiful OP
+20GBP
>>27369735
thing isn't even an off-rhyme with pain
terrible effort
Bitch Ass Mommy
Think I be Gone
Just cause I composed a song
But the bitch be a foolish lady
Prolly fuckin broke niggas since I just a baby
But Mommy-bitch ain't you know the goddamn truth?
Be Pop a frog that nigga always under yo roof
Get the tendies
get the tendies
In the oven bitch (woooooohat?)
Get the tendies
Get the tendies
In the oven bitch (Bitch ass momma!)
Ay yo my tummy be grumbling and greedy
Aint heard a ding see no light no oven preheatin'
Yo momma bitch I say where my tendies be?
She say I goin' to a very important meetin'
Drop the remote, smack a bitch 'til she bleed
Ay yo you you aint need
no meetin or leavin
what you be needin'
is make sure baby eatin'!
Get the tendies
get the tendies
In the oven bitch (woooooohat?)
Get the tendies
Get the tendies
In the oven bitch (Bitch ass momma!)
Ayo I'm here to spit some rhymes they're not even relevant tackled a elephant won't repent settle it. Celebit I can tell from the smell of it. Ain't nobody had no feelings for me now I'm the one actin selfish.
>>27369783
Shaking with anger
When you were young
You were the king of chicken tendies
And how you built an empire in the KFC
In yummy ranch sauce pooling around your feet
And your mom would stick a fork right into those gold morsels
And feed you from her hand, her precious baby boy
As good boy points kept adding up till the next meal you'd try
Now this is the room
Your mommy said she'd always love you
And that she'd never want you to move out or go
Into the world, to get a chance to grow
And your dad would drink until he was half dead
And your mom would come up with brand new ways to fry
Those goldbrown nuggers without which you would certainly die
I LOVE YOU CHICKEN NUGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
CHICKY NUGS I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU YESSSS I DOOOOOOOOOOOO
I LOVE YOU CHICKEN NA-U-A-U-A-UGSSSSSSSSSS
CHICKY NUGS I LOVE YOU YES I DOOOOOO
From all the kinds I've tried
None of the dipping sauces lied
Whether they're breaded or they're fried
WITHOUT MY TENDIES I WOULD DIIIIIIEEEEEE
>>27369927
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little normie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secred raids on Al-Qaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed GBP from stealing their tendies. I am trained in autism warfare and I';m the top good boy in the entire US Tendie Squadron. You are nothing to me but just another normiefag. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am gathering my piss shit and cum jugs, collected over 10 years. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in normie raping, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Good Little Boy Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe my ass with you, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price in GBP, you goddamn idiot. I will shit, piss, and cum all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kidd. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
>>27369758
Good taste, some true Pepe classics.
I WANT HOT FRESH CHICKEN TENDIES
NOT FROM MICKEYS, NOT FROM WENDY'S
>>27369758
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCW7PZ3kHgw
illest tendie song around
>>27369735
Those are nugs, mate.
>>27369735
>ifunny
no tendies for you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MCIpMZnHwI
Best tendie tune coming through!
>wake up at 6pm
>ask for tendies
>mom locked herself in her room again
>threaten to her I'll set the house on fire if she doesnt open the door
>start breaking shit and making a mess while she cries
>suddenly i hear someone open the door and run up the stairs all the way to me
>its my uncle, he is coming to beat me up
>push uncle with all my weight
>tell him if he touches me again i will push him down the stairs and jump on him until he stops moving
>he looks me with nothing but disgust
>mom yells if i dont go to my room she will call the cops
>wathever
>go into room have to be carefull with all the broken glass and trash on the floor
>hear mom crying and uncle swearing
>they leave and mom doesnt come back home in 3 days
>thats 3 days without food
>thank god she didnt take the router
>then again maybe she was too scared
Holy shit, that was really good OP.
'Twas the night before chadmas,
All the normies were clubbing,
"MUMSY WUMSY" I cried,
"MY TUMMY NEEDS RUBBING",
Mommy obliged and gave it her all,
Then shit from my bum flowed clean through the hall.
With shit up her arm and all down her blouse,
I smiled with charm and ran all through the house.
I left a trail of poo poo, screaming 'bout chicken tenders,
"I WANT TENDIES TO CHEW, IN THEIR GOLDEN FRIED SPLENDOR!"
Mommy told me to stop, she forbade me to shout,
I nearly lost hope till my katana came out.
With a gleam in my eye, I spoke my foul words,
Threatened Mommy with death by sheath or by turd.
She complied with my wishes and I finally scored;
A plate full of tendies that she knew I adored.
Now I know there are many who detest and abhor me,
But a robot cares not for the chad or the normie.
>>27369735
Another tendie tale for your troublesI wrote it
>Wake up
>Look about my domain
>holy-fugg.jpg
>Hot plate of tendies on my desk right next to my Twilley plush.
>Mummy comes in
>ask about how many GBP it will cost me for this.
>None, Anonny~
>And don't you mean GGP
>wat.mp4
>look down
>I am a m'lady
>Mummy comes closer to my bed
>Removes her silk bath robe
>sweating-intensifies.png
>She slowly pulls off my mario bed sheets
>Remember I'm not wearing pants
>strangely the sheets don't feel scratchy and hurt my tushie
>Mummy takes off bedsheet
>I have a negative pee pee
>mummy starting touching my nakey pee pee
>feels-good-man.png
>suddenly a panic fills me
>my pee pee jugs are gone
>start tearing up.
>mummy doesn't stop and now my wee wee hurts
>Quickly pull my endtable aside and my backup poo poo jugs are gone too.
>heavy-wailing.avi
>suddenly I wake up again.
>I am me and in my crust-crust beddy
>cheer
>mummy tells me to fuck off and that she doesn't love me.
>That bitch
>Don't wanna leave my sleepy corner incase there are normies outside
>cry and jack-off to starbound porn
Atleast I'm only 20 GBP away from getting more keys in counter strike: global offensive
My story of tendies well earned:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0pbHvTJLBZp
tendies are probably the only /r9k/ material i reference offline or that make me laugh every time
>yummy yummy crunchy crumbly chickie tendies in my tumbly
>>27370637
I don't get why people always mention "wendy tendies"
Wendy's sells nuggets, not tendies.
how do i know if i'm becoming a man children?
i can go out my room and all but my mom keeps nagging me that i have to shower.
she says she will buy me a new computer if I promise to sleep before midnight.
I'm 22 so is not weird, right?
>>27375409
>keeps nagging me that i have to shower.
>promise to sleep before midnight.
You have to earn that GBP, anon. What conversion rate is she offering? Must be pretty good if she's offering a computer.
Got me up all night, all I'm looking at is smug frogs
She got me up all night, constant fappin' and smug frogs
She got me up all night, down and out with these smug frogs
She got me up all night, drownin' out with these smug frogs
She got me up all night, all I'm laughing at is these smug frogs
She got me up all night, constant fapping' and smug frogs
She got me up all night, down and out with these smug
laptop open all night, laptop open all night
25 sleepin' in my mama's crib
Even back then when I was up there in my baby crib
Payin' seventeen-GBP for the rent, money well spent
No heater, but a nigga made farts, may I vent?
Had a thing for you, even dumped my bottles full of pee for you
Cause I had wet dreams for you, thoughts of a ring for you
Childish shit, you know childish shit
on Anonymous image boards I vent , you know coward shit
Now a nigga signed to GBP, took a power trip
still home I'm grown now and this diaper's my throne now
The Sam's clubs that I used to get tossed out
till my wrists got crisscrossed, Totally Krossed Out
Cause now my mom's my bitch and I'm totally bossed out
Old chick's cryin' cause she know that she lost out
But I'm still on you, I'm still on you
spaghetti spilled on me, while I feel on me
>>27369783
Get your fucking tumblr speak off this board immediately
>be at Burger King
>they have $1.49 for 10 nuggets deal
>this means I can order more nuggies
>time to load up
>decide to get 200
>make ma-ma do the conversion from USD to GBP
>only 60 Good Boy Points for 200 nugnugs!
>I clean out their nuggie saucies (costs 0 GBP so I order extra, 1 sauce packet per 2 nuggies)
>my table looks like the famous Scarface scene but with nuggies instead of cocaine
>eat my nuggers while ma-ma plays Candy Crush on her phone (shitty pleb game)
>3 hours later have a big hurty poo
>laying on the bathroom floor crying my eyes out and pooping all over the floor
>1 hour later i clean myself up in the toilet bowl and wake up mommy to clean my poopies
>didn't get my 50 GBP for sleeping through the night
>lose the 30 daily GBP bonus I get for keeping my poo-poos in the toilet
>can't go to sleep now
>do peepee fun rubby-squirty on the Baby Bop pages of my Barney and Friends picture book
And that's why you never choose nuggies over tendies
>eyeing my GBP board momsey raized my Tendies by 5GBP EACH!
>Fucking makin me a bitch boy
>Go online lookin for advice
>I heard Reddit is helpfull
>Crawl through forest of NeckBeards
>Fined haven of the Gods!
/r/Redpill
>Turns out momsey is just a whore needing an Alpha
>Must sell Beta Bux for RedPills
>Check Momsey's drawers, normie bitch has packets of Control pillz !!!
>Tear open packs swallow every last fucking Control pill
>I AM ALPHA
>I AM THE BRINGER OF DEATH
>I AM REDPILL
>Momsey walks in screaming at me, give her knowing smile, punch that bitch in her baby maker
>I AM ALPHA! I beat my chest like a Gorilla
>Pull out my peepee n slap momsey as she cries salty tears
>Belly is all Rumbly Tumbly, Control pills must be workin
>Start slapping Momsey showing my true dominance, I don't need no GBP I scream in her fucking normie face!!!!
>Black the Fuck out
>Wake up in hospital, stomach freshly pumped hungry as fuck!
>Momsey crying in corner
>MFW nurse gives me pile of chicken tendies...
ALPHA AS FUCK!
>>27374629
They rhyme.
END MY SUFFERING
5 star post, friendo
>>27369735
Is Kid Cuisine still a thing? I remember eating so many of those. I kind of really want some now, they were pretty cheap iirc and would make a nice quick snack.
>>27378293
They're still around, but if you're a big boy wouldn't you rather have a Hungry Man?
>Mummy brings home a new daddy
>"Anon, meet your new daddy. His name is Tom. :)"
>"Pleased to meet you, Anon!"
>"Fucking normie mom, brings home a new daddy every week.
>Ignore him and get back to watching my favorite movie (Scoobie Doo Wrestlemania Mystery)
>Decide to bring out my wrasslin toys to re-enact the movie.
>Feeling a bit rumbly in my tummy
>Stumble over to the kitchen to redeem my GBP for some Munchie Wunchies and Cherry Coke Zero
>As I take a sip of my Cherry Coke Zero from my sippy cup, I notice out of the corner of my eye that the new Daddy has picked up my Triple H figure
>Stomp over to him
>"THEY CALL ME THE BABY BOY! NO MAN ON EARTH WILL TOUCH MY TOY!"
>BRRRRRRRRRRRR-APPLEDOUGH
>Launch myself at the fucking normie and knock him over effortlessly (I'm 6'2" 370 pounds)
>Hold him down and aim my nose at his mouth
>Begin to blow snot out of my nose at full force.
>"YOU TO LIVE WITH MUMMY AND ME? NOW YOU WILL EAT BOOGERS FOR TEA!"
>Tom begins throwing up from cobined grodyness of my boogies and body odour
>Mummy comes in and sees the scene
>Pulls me off of her boyfriend and takes away 10 GBP (Totally worth it)
>Tom leaves early
>He hasn't called back since.
>>27379830
>>BRRRRRRRRRRRR-APPLEDOUGH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGLlWWYwcFU
Turbo-fucking-kek
But I'm not dead, it mearly grazed
I knock out mommy in a hateful haze
"Time to pay!" I scream and shout
Now mommy knows there's no way out
She finally sees reason, she gets up and complys
And serves me trendies with frys
>>27380924
I don't care for this revisionist fanfiction
>>27381633
He should send the mom to jail instead and go live with his gwammy gwams.
