What's schizophrenia like?
You see shit all the time and it fucks you up senpai. Its not fun you rake weird shit like Seroquil and yeah
Having another person inside you, basically. Your conscience becomes another you except "he" has his own state of mind.
>>27364198
So you're never lonely.
>>27364187
I thought schizophrenia was centered more around auditory hallucinations?
>>27364209
Trust me, you'll wanna be lonely occasionally
>>27364187
You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Visual hallucinations are quite rare and generally only occur during psychotic episodes.
>>27364080
Don't know how accurate this is since I don't have the illness, but perhaps this will shed some light.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qb8wQjwVu2g
no fun, not ever
genuinely wouldnt recommend
I feel bad for that guy.
He's really really talented, I could only dream of doing something similar to the things he has already accomplished
Severe paranoia and permanent nightmare goggles pretty much.
They're in a world the walls would eat them.
>>27364080
>>27364253
>"I AM THE BEST PROGRAMMER ON EARTH, CHOSEN BY GOD."
TempleOS really is something else.
oh man, those templeOS vids. He still makes a ton of them
Sounds like a blast.
>>27364187
no
>>27364198
no
pretty much OP you'll overhear people talking on the radio or on television, and they could be talking about something completely different, but you'll think they're talking about you in code.
everything; color, clothing, words, numbers, even types of food will have its own code with each different piece of the code having its own meaning in context. schizophrenics are hyper aware of their surroundings and take every little thing they see or hear into analysis that's just overactivity of the mind.
really though it all boils down to narcissism and thinking the world revolves around you, but that comes after years of treatment and rebuilding what was broken before diagnosis.
self diagnosed people can jump off a cliff.
>>27364241
over the top, but gets the point across, i guess
>>27364242
those cats seen some shit
Read the kyle Odom space aliens thing. It's textbook schizo and oddly resembles stuff I experienced when I had amphetamine psychosis.
>>27364242
>>27364322
I used to carry notebooks filled to the brim with crap like this.
>>27364321
>you'll overhear people talking on the radio or on television
>schizophrenics are hyper aware of their surroundings and take every little thing they see or hear into analysis that's just overactivity of the mind
>really though it all boils down to narcissism and thinking the world revolves around you
i dont think the world revolves around me, i just think that i am in some way related to most things. there are way too many occurrences for them all to be just coincidence
i dont have anything like the stereotypical i see things, and all i hear is muffled music or radio static or conversations rarely.
when i was younger i used to have a sort of voice but not really that would tell me to do wacky shit (stretch your leg this way while walking, dong blink, etc) or it would punish me
what does this mean
im okay, right?
>>27364241
Seconding this.
t. Psychology major and actually watched this in classes
>>27364080
My wife suffers from Paranoid Schizophrenia. Sleeps all day, up all night. Had me install 3 extra locks on our doors...one with a biometric fingerprint access control. Constantly lives in fear of an 85 year old millionaire who has sent people to live around us, listen to us with parabolic microphones and install hidden cameras in our house.
Seroquil makes her physically ill and she stays in bed for 24 to 32 hours straight when she takes .25 mg tablet.
I need help.....
>>27365423
do you get to fuck her?
>>27364388
lost all mine in the mental hospital. left them along with some of my comic books. hopefully the other nutsos there read and enjoyed them.
>>27365488
Thanks for your empathy and support.
>>27364321
this is pretty accurate. Last year, my senior year of HS, due to my untreated mania along with taking Adderall which does NOT mix well sent me spiraling down a manic/schizo trance. Every thing around me was interconnected in some way that was only understandable to me at the very moment. I spent like every second of every minute writing notes in my phone about random "strings" of thought. I had some big plan to put my ideas in a book and give it to this one girl who had a thing for me (I shared a moment of mania with her and the night was just full of emotion and it was wild). The ending of the book was just going to be her name. This continued for over a month before I was hospitalized. After I got out, I was still messed up in the head, but things got better. I dropped that girl cuz I knew she would only trigger manic episodes. I dropped the idea of making a book/album. And I started to renew my faith after I had a visual hallucination. By the mercy of God I am completely healed, 6 months later. If you read this far, thank you. This was the first time I shared this story so deeply with anyone other than my family who, unfortunately, had witnessed it from beginning to end.
>>27365710
forgot to attach this
>>27365710
Your god is in your mind, you fixed yourself.
>>27365423
Why don't you just leave her? Sounds harsh but you gotta be looking out for yourself too.
>>27365829
the method of which was practicing my religion, whether you believe in one or not is irrelevant. What made me start to feel like a normal person, what gave me strength to be where I am today is my religion and God
>>27365905
Fair enough.
>original comment or something
It's mostly pretty shit.
You're hypersensitive to everything going on around you. It's like having an echo in your brain that can drive you mad. You see patterns that aren't there and you can easily think that God is trying to talk to you.
Full blown psychotic episodes can be terrifying, to the point where you could freak out and kill someone if you fully lost control (or at least I could).
Everyday I experience paranoia, hallucinations, and have irrational thoughts about something wanting to kill me, and it's often difficult for me to think clearly.
After a while you just learn to live with it and it becomes normal. As long as you don't underestimate the dangers of the illness you can manage it.
Another thing is that you can genuinely lose interest in socializing and become withdrawn from people.
>>27365710
>>27365735
>Every thing around me was interconnected in some way that was only understandable to me at the very moment. I spent like every second of every minute writing notes in my phone about random "strings" of thought
this isnt normal?
fuck
>>27365710
Bro.
Okay, so senior year of HS:
>Oneitis and I hang out, become orbiter supremus
>Always trying to hang out with her, she just wants to be friends
>Lots of drugs involved
>Multiple occasions where I should have just gone for it, too scared to
>nearing the last quarter of the year, latent psychosis gets bad
>Start thinking my TV is talking to me etc
>One day cut my hair all off, shave eyebrows and shit
>She starts avoiding me
>I get paranoid
>I do more drugs, alone
>I'm barely graduating, she graduates valedictorian, accepted into Yale
>Super depressed
>Will never see her again
>Keeping multiple notebooks filled with naked drawings of girls who look sort of like her (always been a drawfag, drawings back then were sort of decent)
>Between those are a bunch of notes on psychoanalysis, quotes from Freud, Jung etc
>These notebooks are of ridiculous value to me for some reason
>Oneitis is Jewish
>Take up an interest (obsession) with it and jewish mysticism
>Tell her this, this just scares her more at this point
>Start going to synagogue, alone
>Tell people I'm "converting"
>Told own mother at various times that I wanted to make pilgrimage and join JIDF
>Make her buy kosher food
>My psychosis starts to eat away at my familial life, made my mom cry a bunch
>Week before oneitis leaves for college, start to really fucking lose it
>Binge play a game I've always loved (Final Fantasy VII) and name Tifa after her
>Take pictures of the entire playthrough, post THEM ALL on Cuckbook for EVERYONE to see
>This shitty game that I put her name in is now ruined to me forever
>Change my last name to hers, propose marriage to her via dummy account on FB AFTER she blocked me
>Complete humiliation and alienation from peers,
>Police arrive at my house, get a "warning for cyberstalking"
>My own mom flips the fuck out
contd
>>27367592
>That night, take my schizo ass notebooks and I think some muffins I bought from the store or something
>leave them on her doorstep in the middle of the night
>Police call my mom, recently quit my job, they were there looking for me
>Mom says her parents called the police thinking I was going to shoot myself
>I need serious psychiatric help at this point
>Go to her house, again
>Police are called
>They make her mother, this poor woman, read me a warning in written document to not step on the premises again or face arrest
>Leave
>Never saw any of them again
I was hospitalized/institutionalized a week later after a screaming fit at home, that must have been three years ago.
I'm much better now. I guess I can look back at all of it and not cringe, it was as dark as a lot of this sort of thing can get.
>>27364080
Like living inside a box, like all other people don't really exist.
But I feel that schizophrenia is taken to a meme-like point where things go to far.
There are many cases of schizophrenia which just resemble capabilites of the human brain and sensory experience. It's not a disease!
>>27364080
When will Terry Davis snap and kill all the MiT and CIA niggers?
>>27365710
>trading mental illness for wishful delusions
>cured
Mmmmh
During pre-conscription psychological exam I was suspected with schizophrenia and thus I avoided the whole military service. Now years later that I have started to go to a psychiatrists it's becoming clear that I might actually be just a typical case of asperger's.
I guess they suspected schizophrenia at first because it was just about the age when schizophrenia typically shows its first symptoms, and schizophrenia and asperger's have lots of similar symptoms especially when it comes to mannerisms and socialization. I'm also a lanky frizzy haired weirdo so that probably made me look like a madman as well.
I'm glad I'm not schizophrenic, different therapists still ask if I hear any sounds/talking when I'm alone and I can gladly answer no.
Take 400mg of benadryl (diphenhydramine) and you'll find out.
>>27369125
Actual schizophrenia is either a degenerative brain disease or a neurodevelopmental disorder, they aren't quite sure. It actually used to be called dementia praecox because it is in some ways similar to dementia. So yes it is a disease and no it is not overdiagnosed, if anything it's probably underdiagnosed.
>>27364321
Schizophrenia is not related to or caused by Narcissim. Dumbest thing I've ever heard.
T. Robot with deceased schizophrenic grandfather.
>>27369829
just because you make up some fancy words doesn't make schizophrenia more real. Still most overdiagnosed thing there.
>hey look at me, im so schizophrenic, I am an artist
>my schizoism is not narcissism
dumbest thing I ever heard. It's narcissism to the max!
>>27365710
Jesus now I'm scared for my own mental health. Too much of this is similar to how I start to think when the girl I'm obsessed with isn't fitting perfectly into my fantasies. Plus I'm smoking a ton of weed which probably contributes to it. Strangely enough my moments of clarity are when I'm high, and I only start to get into the crazy when I'm sober. Hopefully if it gets too bad I find a better solution than religion though. Doesn't sound like much of a cure to me
>everyone on /r9k/ is schizophrenic
Right. I genuinely think it turned into a meme illness. Now you can't get away with saying "muh anxiety and depression" so you claim to be schizophrenic.
>>27371079
>>27365710
Thought I had some notes as bad as yours, but unfortunately by the time I started writing this shit on my phone I guess I was in remission or something. A few months before I was writing down strung together nonsense that "proved" we were meant for each other and all that kinda stuff, but its all in a journal I can't locate at the moment. Who knows, maybe these are weird enough
>>27367628
Holy shit man.
That must have been really tough. Glad you're doing better.
>>27367628
>>27367592
Fuck this is scary. How do you know a crazy thought from a sane one? I can see myself doing so many of the things you did and thinking its right at the time. I can even understand why it would be right, and am a little worried that if I didn't read them already knowing the context I'd take them as proof from up above that I'm right and use it to validate all my crazy plots and plans.
In sane people, the brain keeps a distinction between the personal and the impersonal. Phenomenologists call these spheres the "subject" and the "object". You can tell easily, for instance, that a song isn't written for you or written by you. It's simply outside you, unrelated to you. But in schizos, that distinction breaks down. It's a lot like being on dissociatives, which have been used in animal models for psychosis. You lose your sense of where you end and everything else begins. So you start believing there's a part of "you" in everything, and "everything" is a part of you.
Really has nothing to do with narcissism or some personality quirk. If you've ever been psychotic, you'd know that it's a neurological disorder and not some weak will of character. Crazy shit pops in your head and you can't really rationalize against it because you're in an altered state of consciousness where that crazy shit makes perfect sense. If you've ever done psychedelics, you've probably come up with some "brilliant idea" and written it down, only to find that it's complete gibberish once you read it while sober.
My psychiatrist gave me Zolpidem, but I am scared of taking it because it can give you hallucinations especially when you take Sertraline
Which I do
>>27371293
Yeah it's real fuckin spooky.
Get on a good med program with an honest psychiatrist and take steps towards rebuilding after you inevitably fuck your life up pre-diagnosis. Years after all of that I'm a much healthier and well rounded person with a bright future. Don't let it become you.
Just be wary. Talk to family about what you're feeling and avoid situations or activities that exacerbate how you feel when you feel that way.
I've been hospitalized for schizophrenia AMA
Schizophrenia is like that paranoid feeling you get walking home alone at night, but many many times stronger.
Also it is seeing "patterns" or coincidences in things usually relating to persecution ("gang stalking" is a common delusion) which to a healthy person would be easily dismissed as so unlikely as to be irrational. Such as, your mail is late, a normal person would just go to the post office or not worry about it. A schizophrenic would spin all kinds of tales in their mind about how it could be government agents or other conspiracies.
I still hear an echo of my thoughts in my head at night, but I used to hear full blown voices which I thought was the "radio" in my head because I had some sort of magical power where I could hear over long distances. I also thought others had magical powers. I'm glad I'm better now.
>>27371293
There's really no sure-fire way to tell. Occasionally when I'm delusional, I'll get some ridiculous idea that, even in my delirious state, I start to think is kinda fishy. So I go through all these fucking insane mental gymnastics, wrestling with the idea, and eventually I either come up with some nonsense explanation that satisfies me or I just change the idea slightly to something that seems more plausible, even though it's equally ridiculous. You're not really able to reason properly, stuff just "clicks" somehow and you accept it.
>>27364080
I don't really know, I'm just a schizoid. Kinda halfway there I guess. I feel bad for schizo people it sounds really shitty.
>>27365423
Seroquil is what guys in prison take so they can just sleep for days straight, they call em Suzy Q's
>>27364080
Schizo reporting in. I'm going out tonight to rob a stranger at the park. What should I do/how should I go about it? I could post a thread later detailing how it went if I do decide to go through with it.
>>27371480
>>27371507
I really hope that my craziness was a byproduct of being completely obsessed with a girl, and not serious mental illness. Then again I think I've been doing this to some degree my entire adult life, and the fact that I'm a girl stalking virgin weirdo on /r9k/ at 24yo is indicative of some sort of problem.
>>27366059
jeez man, that sucks. I'd sit across from you on a couch and occasionally comment on things with you, you know, if you felt like it.
thanks for sharing, I hope today is good.
Apart from CIA demons taunting him, Terry is not living that bad of a life. He's effectively an artist who receives some level of positive recognition, and he doesn't have to worry about food or housing because he gets schizo welfare.
>>27371333
Also, another thing that happens is your sense of language breaks down. You spend hours thinking random strings of words and it'll seem no different than a conversation you're having with a friend. Sometimes I can kinda sense I'm thinking nonsense but it's hard to snap out of it.
Hallucinations are another aspect of the illness. The most common ones are internal voices, like someone is putting thoughts in your head. Sometimes schizos hear external voices, which you hear as something coming from outside your head, and see visual hallucinations too. Occasionally during conversations I'll hear the person say something and respond to it, and they'll get freaked out because they never said anything. I always say something really fucking weird too, like "yeah, I shat in the dishwasher this morning". I'll also commonly have conversations with friends and family and then all of a sudden they'll disappear, and I'll find out I'm completely alone.
And going through all this, as you can kinda imagine, is very alienating. You won't want to be around people very often, because they'll think you're weird or you're scared they're plotting against you or just because you're living a life that's so different from theirs. Pretty much all schizos are very reclusive.
There are a lot more aspects of the illness, like autism (autism was actually first classified as a schizo disorder) and memory deficits and problems with motivation/attention and obsessive interests. Schizophrenia has a very wide variability, some will have only a few of these symptoms while others have all of them. Some researchers believe it's actually a collection of several illnesses because of that.
That's pretty much all I can think of.
>>27371796
>Hallucinations are another aspect of the illness. The most common ones are internal voices, like someone is putting thoughts in your head. Sometimes schizos hear external voices, which you hear as something coming from outside your head, and see visual hallucinations too. Occasionally during conversations I'll hear the person say something and respond to it, and they'll get freaked out because they never said anything. I always say something really fucking weird too, like "yeah, I shat in the dishwasher this morning". I'll also commonly have conversations with friends and family and then all of a sudden they'll disappear, and I'll find out I'm completely alone.
This is the only one that doesn't match me at all. I'm glad, but at the same time I don't think it clears me of all mental illness.
>>27371333
>>27371493
Thank you two for these nice texts and quite good description.
I still don't see were this generally applies. I understand that there may be a pathologic quality to the degree of what we may call schizophrenia right now, but there are very many cases in which that is not the case.
What you said also might apply the other way around, so that our subjective experience is a form of imagination. The same things can be problems for one person but just experience of your mental capabilites for another.
My point is, nowadays schizophrenia is OVERRATED AS FUCK! To the point everybody wants it. And that is just as disgusting as actually suffering real schizophrenia.
>I have written down stuff while high and still understand it when sober again
I also believe that you didn't actually suffer schizophrenia but that you had life experience of having to change your habits. The hardest thing to do for man. But due to social stigma and your fear of facing your bad sides, you need to call it some other way to actually talk about what bothers you.
