>if you suck 1000 dicks you'll have infinite money and 3 wishes (none of that "i wish for infinite wishes")
the only thing you get out of it is experience and the 2 prizes, so no chance of catching disease and nobody, not your friends nor family find out about what you've done.
would you do it, /r9k/? why? why not?
>>27361894
Obviously. I'd do it for a single wish. Three and infinite money?
I could become the richest, smartest, healthiest, most attractive man alive. I'd rather live with the secret shame of prostitution in order to have literally everything.
I'd probably suck 1000 dicks for free no homo.
if i could go on by my own pace i'd suck maybe 2 dicks a day
it'd take me 1.3 years or so to do
figure i would get pretty good at it so maybe 4 minutes to cum
so 10 minutes a day of dick sucking for 1.3 years in exchange for becoming a god
i'd do it for 5000 bucks, let alone infinite
>>27361894
You'd have to be foolish not to if there was no disease. You could use one of your wishes to forget about sucking 1000 dicks.
loneliness has given me bisexual tendencies, so..
Maybe.. Are we talking big, visually pleasing, clean cocks or avg nasty cocks? Is there a designated time, or can it be whenever I feel the gay coming on?
>>27362015
They're just average sized cocks, about 6-7 inches i'd say. And don't worry there's no pimples or shit on them. As you said, clean cocks.
The way I'd imagine it is, you suck a cock or two whenever you feel like it, and when you're done sucking your 1000th cock, you get a credit card with infinite money on it, and a fairy appears and grants you three wishes.
this is the premise of OP's book
"The life and mind of being a faggot"
Do I have to swallow? If yes then no If no then yes.
>>27362094
Yep, gotta swallow.
But hey, I heard it's good for your skin.
If I can suck em at my own leisure, sure.
>>27362113
Then no deal.
>>27362094
>n-nuuh I don't want free protein
What's wrong with you m8. I bet you dring that disgusting soylent stuff and yet you refuse the superior, more natural option.
Alright let's try lowering the reward a bit.
1000 dicks for 500,000 dollars.
>must swallow
>no STDs
would you do, /r9k/?
>>27361894
anyone who says no is just a bad business man
>>27362181
>must swallow
that adds an interesting caveat, I wonder what effect that would have on your diet.
>>27362181
Yes of course. What's the downside?
I wish I was 6 feet 7 inches tall with tremendous athletic ability
I wish I could live forever and never age
Save the last one.
What would you guys wish for?
>>27362060
Can I wish to suck more cocks (another 1000 or so) for another wish whenever I want?
If so yes, yes I would; ONLY if I can't see the person behind the cock. Magic Glory Hole?
ok will do man yes okay fuck off robot
this isn't even a proper question, of course yes. Here's a better question, would you suck 1000 cocks if it would give you a ripped body without working out and also a 10 inch cock?
>>27362221
You can only make one wish. If you want to suck 1000 more cocks go for it, but you only get a single wish.
Also yeah if you want glory hole you can have glory hole.
>>27362094
Nigga I'd slurp that shit up and ask for seconds if it got me three wishes and infinite money.
>>27361894
Yes I would do it. My first wish would be to make myself forget about sucking a thousand dicks. Then I have two wishes on reserve and infinite money.
>>27362320
you'd waste a whole wish just to forget about sucking 1000 dicks?
you could do great things with that experience, anon.
>>27362314
I bet you would suck even the most harry and niggerish cocks
>>27362336
like what suck more dick
>>27361894
Noone ever finds out? I'd do it.
Here's one.
You must go and find the 1000 cocks for yourself. You will actually have to go out and get 1000 guys to let you suck their dick. No disease.
>>27362515
That would be a little more work, but I'd definitely do it.
Just sit in a public bathroom and suck people off every night.
Two cocks a day would take me just under a year.
Fuck yeah, i'd do it.
let's see here
>15 minutes per dick
>say eight hour work sucking day
>32 dicks per day
>31.25 days of back to back dick sucking
>22 work days a month because i will require weekends to recharge my tongue and jaw
>about 6 full-time weeks of dick sucking
Deal. I would do it for $10 million. ...maybe $5 million.
>>27362515
no deal with that criteria. the 1000 would have to be prearranged and health screened.
>>27362971
That's actually a fantastic analysis.
If I had the option I'd definitely accpet 8-hour dick sucking as a full time job, provided i'd earn $1,000,000 a week.
Literally the perfect job.
>>27361944
That's four wishes bro, but let's go at it anyway.
>richest
You now own a gorillion zimbabwean dollars
>smartest
You have the highest iq in the world. Your knowledge is so advanced that one of the rich and powerful can understand you, so no advancements are made. The general populous thinks you're crazy.
>healthiest
Your immune system is so powerful, it attacks any sort of medication. You will suffer any disease in full.
>most attractive
All stinging creatures within a five mile radius move towards as long as you're outside.
Alright everyone, answer me this
What's the lowest amount of money you'd suck 1000 dicks for?
as usual:
>must swallow
>no STDs
>can be glory hole if you want
>>27363123
>Your immune system is so powerful, it attacks any sort of medication. You will suffer any disease in full
>Your immune system is so powerful you will still get diseases
that's not how it works, even in fantasy made up land
>>27361894
Do I have to blow them from flacidity to completion?
>>27364252
Ima go with free, like why wouldn't you?
>suck 1000 dicks
>get unlimited money
>money instantly becomes worthless as there is no scarcity
>poorfag suckslut with no other skills other than 3 wishes
>wish to be 10/10 girl so i can use my one marketable skill to get food and tradeable goods
>wish away the diseases i get from the post-disease-free 1000
>left with one wish to spend on myself, wish for eternal life
It'll be a long life of sucking dick, not sure if i would take it actually.
>>27364404
>money instantly becomes worthless as there is no scarcity
That's not how money works
Yes but only dicks of trannies
I can't be sucking no man weenie, let's not make this gay or anything.
Wish one: wipe this dick sucking from my memory
Wish two: I wish to cure all diseases
Wish there: I want to own 4chan
Yes
Because my goal is sucking a bunch of dicks anyway. Sucking 1000 dicks would be pretty interesting from a fetish point of view. Getting free shit out of the deal and no diseases = perfect.
t. faggot
>>27364427
Yes it is, the system would crumble if someone instantly got unlimited money without it coming from somewhere else.
>>27363123
>H-HURR DURR SO U CHOOSE MONEYZ SO UR BAD PEOPLE SO I MUST POST THE WORST OUTCOME LMAO
>>27361894
>rewrite history so that the dicks were never sucked but I still get all of my wishes
>wish to know what exactly it is that is confusing me so much
>wish for life to be more easy mode and to abolish carnivory entirely, rewriting the food chain and history of our entire planet so that the concepts of predator and prey no longer exist
>>27364439
This.
I want to pre-emptively use my wish to make all the dicks I such to be that of super sexy trannies
It can even be huge dicked trannies like Mariana Cordoba, but as long as they are as hot as her and all the other rules still apply
No shitskin dicks, right?
First I would wish to be 10/10 man.
Then I would wish to break every positive record in the NFL that a QB realistically could (SB wins, passing out yards, passing touchdowns, qb rushing touchdowns, etc... shit like receiving or overall rushing yards wouldn't be included)
Then I would wish that every person in the world (which would include me) would forget that I ever sucked 1000 dicks.
>>27364460
If you have infinite money, it simply means that everything you own was free
Even if your situation was the actual situation, infinite money doesn't mean anything unless all of the money is in circulation and not just in your bank account
You'd actually have to give all your money away to everyone in order for money to become worthless
And even then, people would still use other currencies or even trade goods and services if that didn't work
Wish 1: Have my own $ billion+ company that among other things has a video game dev dep and movie/tv studio.
Wish 2: Make me a 10 physically (including genes, no diseases)
Wish 3: Time pause
>>27364493
>I want to pre-emptively use my wish
And I want to pre-emptively spend the billion dollars I am certain to make over my lifetime, but that's not going to happen, either. You don't have the wish yet so obviously you can't use it. Otherwise you could just use it to wish away the dick requirement.
>>27361894
>Gee, I sure wish I didn't have to suck all this dick!
>>27361894
Win win for me.
Suck 20 dicks a day
Fulfill my cocklust and have infinite money in 50 days.
Hell, I would probably continue sucking cock just through the fact they were clean and no one would know.
>>27364564
You could retroactively make the wish happen, therefore effectively making it come true before you actually got it
It's magic, dumbass, no need to be a piece of shit
You can either wish away the dick requirement on that wish or if it's the type of universe where wishes have requirements, if you wish away the dick requirement you lose the wishes
I'm betting on the latter just in case
>>27361894
I'd wish for selective immortality so that I could eventually turn it off.
I'd wish for the ability to change my appearance whenever I want.
I'd wish for the ability to plant thoughts into other people's minds.
>he succ
>get money
>wish to erase the memory permanently of doing it
>wish for ability to conjure and fuck anything I want at any time and anyway I want, including 2d
>wish for immortality of myself and immediate family
Boom
>>27362181
Yeah nigga.
Now bring on the dicks, my dick is twitching.
>>27364549
You and I are the only people in the economy, and sandwiches and rocks are the only goods.
I have 3 rocks and 1 sandwich, you have 3 sandwiches and 1 rock. You are willing to trade just one of your sandwiches for one of my rocks. Now if i have infinite rocks, are you still willing to trade for 1 rock?
>>27364601
Even if you wish away having sucked the dicks, I'm pretty sure there will still have been a timeline where you sucked them.
Dick magic, how does it work?
>>27364604
Fantastic choice there, anon. You'll go far.
I still think it's worthless wasting one whole wish on forgetting all those dicks you sucked.
Anything you want, and that's what you choose?
it's your wish, but you could do so much more.
>suck 1000 dicks for free
>infinite money
I don't even need the wishes I already have everything I want.
>>27362001
Or use it to cure all the STDs you had. Not much point in wiping your memory of it if 1000 other people (or more if you count the clerks at the adult video stores or wherever you found those glory holes) still remember you.
>>27364602
Actually instead of my second wish I would wish to not age past how old I was when I made that wish.
That way my brain would never age to the point where it gets really fucked up and I'd never go senile or forget who I was/my abilities.
>>27364581
>20 cocks a day for 50 days
That would get so damn tiresome
How long does it usually take to suck a cock anyway? Like 15 minutes? That's six hours of nonstop cocksucking every day
I'd probably do three cocks a day for a year. That way it's not too much at once and it becomes routine.
I'd do it.
>wish for the ability to stop and reverse aging for anyone, including myself, whenever i want
>a way to travel faster than light, for example being able to build machines that create wormholes or an ability to do it with magic or something
>no one else will ever get wishes similar to this
I'd conquer the galaxy.
>>27364252
If they were clean, big and no one knew
Free
>>27361894
I wouldn't lick a thousand clams either. That's a masive journey and undertaking that I'd not spend years of my life on
>>27364631
Not much thought put into it, but I don't think I could live with myself knowing I did that gay shit
Yes
Ability to control minds
Ability to turn invisible
Ability to talk to animals
>>27364638
money can't buy a living 2d waifu
Yes I would totally do it.
Why? INFINITE MONEY ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO HAVE IN THIS DAY AND AGE.
Also my wish would be to have a super hot QTgf that would be able to swallow people whole like in my vore mangas
>>27362971
After a few dicks you'll become so good you could probably cut that time in half, some guys would probably come in 2-3 minutes.
>>27364686
>implying I want a waifu
I'll take a glorious 3D husbando that will objectify me 24/7
>>27364688
Infinite money is retarded because eventually someone would find out about it and you'd either be put in the slammer for counterfeiting or money would become obsolete because of massive amounts of inflation that would eventually lead to its abolition and then probably the implementation of a new form of currency. Enjoy ur chaos.
>>27361894
No
I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I sucked a 1000 dicks
>>27364622
>Now if i have infinite rocks, are you still willing to trade for 1 rock?
But in this specific situation, I'm not the one who controls the market, you are
The sudden increase of rocks doesn't make rocks useless, especially if you're talking about trading goods and not currency that's based on an acquired value, and especially if I don't have access to the rocks
If you look at it on a smaller scale, large countries have vast resources but that doesn't mean that compared to smaller countries, those resources are now less valuable simply because large countries have more of it
If I only have 1 rock and I want to trade sandwiches for more, I still have to trade at least 1 sandwich (or a fraction if you're willing) to get a rock
The value of rocks only becomes useless if everyone has the exact same number of infinite rocks
It's supply and demand
You have the supply, I have the demand
these are always fucking stupid threads
like why 3 wishes?
you just need 1 to wish for omnipotence haha
Not even a fucking question.
Hell, you could use one wish to unsuck those 1000 dicks if it really bothered you that much.
By would you do that? I'd suck random cock for free if there was no chance of disease desu.
>you can suck one dick for $10, 000
>how many do you suck
>>27364655
You would probably get good enough to the point where you make them cum under 10 minutes.
But you're right, 20 is probably to many.
Maybe 10.
>>27364630
>I'm pretty sure there will still have been a timeline where you sucked them
No
Wishing that George Washington was 2 inches taller doesn't mean that there's now an alternate timeline where he wasn't
Wishing that the dicks you sucked were tranny dicks doesn't mean there is not a timeline where they weren't
>>27361894
OP is just looking for an excuse to suck a shitload of dick
>>27364714
fuck you i have a hot gf that eats people
>>27364728
unsucking the 1000 dicks would result in a paradox and the universe would reset to a point before sucking your 1st dick, and you'd probably end up accepting the offer and becoming stuck in an infinite loophole.
>>27364720
>The value of rocks only becomes useless if everyone has the exact same number of infinite rocks
I'm an idiot, my mistake.
>>27361894
Absolutely. I'm like this guy >>27362015, I'm so alone that I've become moderately bisexual
>>27364728
But you'd still have to do the dick sucking before you could make the unsucking wish
It's a paradox because if you make that wish in the future, does it overwrite the past as you experience it now, or is it only retroactive once you've finished sucking the dicks? And if it does overwrite the past as you experience it, then that means you would never have to suck the 1000 dicks, and would never have had to have made the unsucking wish in the first place, thereby freeing up the usage of all three wishes.
>>27364460
Not by just having the money there.
If you just spread it out without thinking then yeah some weird stuff could happen, primarily some inflation but you could take some time to study economics once you get the infinite money.
What would happen would be that you had control of all the resources in the world. You could let the world mostly run itself or you could manage everything.
Infinite money
ability to travel back and forwards in time
ability to shape-shift into anything(if I get injured, sick or old I could shift into a healthy body, could make a better brain to increase IQ etc)
ability to understand anything I want
>>27364771
bone up on the laws of supply/demand
there are probably textbooks on /sci/
>>27364774
But once the unsucking wish is freed, you DO have to suck the 1000 dicks, so that means you would have to make the unsucking wish again, but once you do that, it invalidates itself!
Yeah basically it just breaks reality
Forget infinite money, what's the lowest amount of money that you would suck 1000 dicks for?
Mine is easily $5000.
>>27364737
How do you know? You can't be sure unless you wish for complete understanding of how causality functions in a universe with magic and time travel.
>>27364798
embarrassing thing is i've got an econs degree, just on 4 hours of sleep
>>27364798
There isn't an infinite supply of money just because it exists on the wishing guys card, only if he puts all the money in the market and depending on how you acted it could just cause inflation.
Also other people don't need to know that the card in infinite but even if they did money would still be the most practical thing for trade among the people who don't have infinite money.
>>27364825
>How do you know
Because it's a wish, not a time machine
why would you blend magic together with science fiction when there's literally no science involved
You aren't going back in time and making the wish
The wish was made in the future about the past
For example:
Wishing that you were never presented with the magical dick sucking quandary doesn't make your wish invalid because by wishing you had never gotten the option to have a wish your wish didn't happen and therefore you get asked to suck dicks
>>27364892
You can't know that for sure, though. Presumably wishing is governed by some sort of unbreakable axiom, because OP said you can't wish for more wishes. There are clearly laws at work in this magic universe, which suggests it is governed by unbreakable rules. If there are multiverses or a set variety of time (ie. a current time slice theory, block time, whatever) then wishes might be governed by that as well.
So since magic is clearly governed by some sort of universal axiom which you could determine by experimentation ("I want more wishes" "too bad, you get 3" "let's try again" "nope, still 3") there is no reason not to apply science.
>wish that everyone knew everything
>wish that we were no longer bound to finite resources
>wish that we could all be happy with just being ourselves
>>27364971
>You can't know that for sure, though
Yeah you can
Because if that wish doesn't actually come true, then that means it's not a true wish
That means it's a wish with consequences and you're better off not sucking dicks at all
>So since magic is clearly governed by some sort of universal
Way to come to that conclusion on your own, fuck face
> eternal life
> eternal perfect health
> complete command of shapeshifting ability
With infinite money and no need to maintain I would live lifetimes as whatever I pleased
>>27364985
get the fuck off this board norman
>>27365017
Hey, I'm taking 1000 dicks in the mouth for you. Don't talk to me like that.
>>27361894
No diseases? hell fuck yeah
>>27364714
Everyone in the world would have to agree to change the currency just because one dude has infinite money and the world would never organize like that.
In order to have a noticeable amount of inflation you'd have to spend very many billions and then it would still just be a small amount.
With a little bit of caution and some time spent studying economics you could get this to just mean that everything works pretty much like usual except you have the last word in everything if you want or you could become the leader of the world.
You could get a lot of people to help you keep the current system by making sure they're rich.
Also since this is magic the infinite money should count in the new currency as well. There will be some kind of currency, people won't choose to return to the Bronze Age just because they know that some guy always has more money than them. They'd rather put up with one guy getting a lot of stuff.
1. Ability to perfectly remember or forget anything you want (including the fact of you sucking dicks)
2. Immortal and immune to disease (including the STD you just caught)
3. Make me 10/10
>>27365002
>Getting this mad over imaginary wish tales
>And still being completely wrong
kek
>>27364252
Any amount of money, but I'm pretty sure I'm a closeted bisexual at this point
>>27361894
of course, I'd be a fool not to.
>>27361894
>would you do it, /r9k/?
I get infinite money and 3 wishes for sucking 1000 dicks and have them cum down my throat and no one knows about it and I get no STD's? Well fuck yes I would, who's dumb enough to turn down an offer like that?
Make it a pound of pure heroin, 10,000 flubromazolam candies, and uh I guess a pound of pure cocaine and I'll do it. I'd wouldn't survive a night.
>>27364732
Probably until I get bored of it or I run out of dicks.
>>27361894
Of course.
>inb4 infinite dogecoins
How about a little change.
Would you do it if everyone knew what you did?
>>27365918
Hmmm...
For infinite money and three wishes, assuming i'm not allowed to wish that everyone forgets it, I guess i'd go for it.
If i was doing it for an amount of money alone, I think the lowest I'd go would be 100,000 dollars.
What's the worst that can happen to a guy who has no friends, and whose family already hates them?
>use endless money to buy an island
>robots can live in peace as NEETs
>use money to pay maintenance/food peasants etc
>no normies allowed
Then I dunno maybe try and use my money to buy a country like Greece, promise people money if they elect me Emperor
dunno about the wishes but I might wish I forgot about the dick sucking
I'd wanna wish for some OP as fuck vampiric powers like shape shifting to the point where age and illness can be avoided vampiric in the sense that I can spread it to family
then just create lots of other OP as fuck immortals like myself and give them starting cash and see how they go and what the do
>>27365918
>Would you do it if everyone knew what you did?
And I still get infinite money and 3 wishes? Sure. I mean, people have to understand that I'd be dumb not to take it.
I would do it for the money alone, fuck. Infinite money? I can basically live my life the way I want.
>quit job
>now that my schedule is free I can go to the gym at night when it's quietest
>buy a nice new dedicated mp3 player or something for music while I'm there
>hookers out the asshole
>all the vidya I want
>can finally get therapy for my self-hatred and depression
>upgrade my PC
>get a bigger places that will let me have a pet
>hire a maid to clean up once a week or so
>>27366024
you forgot
>fuck the maid
I've already sucked close to 1000 dicks
