If I water down my semen and give the jizzwater mix to my houseplant will it slowly alter the organism?
I feel like if this actually worked someone had done it already so can any sciencebots please rate how stupid this idea is out of 10? It's not like I have anything better to do I could document the experiment like a real science man.
Also should I pursue a degree in biology
It is literally the stupidest thing I've read all day.
>>27348478
I have a feeling the proteins in your semen would not be good for the plant
but an actual biofag should answer
also /sci/ is a great place for questions like this ask there
>>27348478
Do it and post results here everyday. We can all share in your progress and maybe send in sperm.
0/10 I doubt it would have any effect on the plant at all. What sort of changes were you expecting? Maybe the plant happens to use some of the nutrients in your semen, but it's not like you're going to make a huplant or anything. There's no way for that to happen.
Won't hurt the plant either.
You should pursue a degree in biology after you've learned fuck all about it.
>>27348499
You could at least link it, newfag.
>>>/sci/
>>27348499
I never browse anything but r9k and pol, are people on other boards sweet summer children or can I literally ask them about "jizzwater" ?
>>27348546
Never mind the second thread I saw starts with "hey faggots" I think they're cool
![cGMEv[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/elh9mVO.png "cGMEv[1].png")
>>27348540
there is a /sci/ button literally 2 inches below yours
but ok if that makes me a newfag so be it
>>27348546
I think the average posters on /g/ and /sci/ appear to be a little more mature than on /r9k/, perhaps older, but they understand 4chan culture, it's not like /soc/ which is completely alien
but yeah its not like anyone's gonna be offended
make sure you post a gorilla as the OP image
>>27348478
So semen contains both haploid gametes, and semial fluid (which contains proteins such as collaguen, sugars, etc). None of this will alter the plant more than feeding it your hair. It's not like your jizz is magic
Someone post the webm of the humunculus egg/sperm
>>27348629
So far only one guy replied and he simply said it's impossible.
I hate "scientists" who think like that.
Robots, would you rather perish like dogs or be remembered as the guy who jizzed into plants and became the god of a new world?
>>27348897
lmao I didn't know your idea was THAT autistic
I thought you were wondering if you could cause a plant to grow faster by feeding it jizz like a fertilizer or something
goddammit anon
>>27349079
>if you could cause a plant to grow faster by feeding it jizz
Fuck no lol I said "alter the organism" and I very much meant that
Everybody seems to be on the smart machine and cybernetics train so I will bide my time and then suddenly
a challenger appears
>>27349253
3rd year genetics student here
sorry bro, chordate semen has no way of altering non-zygote, eukaryotic organisms.
The sperm would die and the DNA would break apart into it's bases, providing the plant with phosphorous, but not altering its DNA in any way.
>>27349253
there mechanisms to do this exist in nature though.
Many Bacteria have regions in their DNA called Plasmids, which can be copied and transferred to other cells through multiple means. Most bacteria do this to give surrounding bacteria advantageous traits, but there are a few species that actively transfer Plasmids into multi-cellular organisms. One injects a plasmid into plant roots to produce tumors for it to live in.
>>27349253
sorry to crush your dreams,
but I hope my helpful and interesting information will encourage you to look into STEM fields to complete your world plant domination fantasy
>>27348478
To answer both of your questions in order:
No and no.
>>27348478
Faires.
>>27348497
FAIRES MAN
>>27349389
in nature =/= in every organism. Even if you could put human traits into a virus and force the plant to make the proteins you encoded, maybe you made some kind of amazing virus that encodes a whole human finger somehow...the plant won't be able to make it. Why? the plant's biochemistry is so radically different it can't supply the human finger with what it needs to survive.
Don't be such a faggot.
>>27349323
>>27349389
>>27349425
Thanks for your replies.
What I'm getting from this is that I have to convert my semen into a readable format for plants, and even then the plants won't be able to actually write anything because they lack the tools.
So we should use the human body instead since it is the more advanced and better equipped vehicle. Absorbing plants is one thing, we eat them but our stomach just breaks them down into nutrients. So instead of mixing your semen into the plant, you would have to mix the plant into your semen and then impregnate a woman, I don't think this plan is feasible due to a variety of reasons.
Will look into STEM.
>>27349633
Or fairies rather.
>derp
Can a plant get pregnant? Asking this for a school project
>>27349869
>Will look into STEM.
No you won't
You'll google a couple key phrases and then say "well I'm exhausted" and then jerk off for the next 5 hours
>>27349869
>Will look into STEM.
Please don't. You're the sort of person that we hate to run into at conferences.
>>27350155
Yes
But only if you define pregnant as carrying a fertilized seed
>>27349869
>mix the plant into your semen and then impregnate a woman
Can you get a woman high by injecting weed into your prostate or uretha?
>>27350200
Jerking off is part of this whole project anyway.
Little do you know I already have a job interview for a system engineering position next week. So I'm still open.
>>27350213
What do people like me do at conferences?
>>27350289
yes
http://www.vice.com/read/i-got-my-pussy-stoned-with-weed-lube-909
>>27350358
>What do people like me do at conferences?
You're the sort that asks whether or not an oddly shaped rock in a mars image is indicative of a martian colony. Or the sort of people who believed that they found a alien spacecraft orbiting a distant planet. Or my person favorite, that we should go on a search for ball-lightning because of a 100 year old testimony.
>>27350426
brb, moving to colorado
>tfw you were 13 and found out that jizzing on ants didn't get them pregnant and most died instead
>>27350432
Nah, that's not me. I'm only like 70% serious about the plant-hybrid thing. It's true that I actually had this thought earlier when I watered the plant so my thought process when posting was
>heh, this could be a hilarious thread
>although... what if...
>let's see what they say
When I see esoteric space threads I keep scrolling but I'm also on the daily lookout for any real news.
Its going to do fuckall anon except make your plant smell faintly of decaying jizz over time
t. Biofag
>>27350525
>tfw some of them survived and brought the jizz back to the queen, impregnating her and birthing a colony of your abominations
>>27350540
Yeah I figured that this was a b8 thread.
Plant-bio tard here
It's not gonna do anything noticeable, and will take fucking ages for any effect to begin. Spunk is mostly water anyway even considering the 'nutrient content'. Better off just using miracle-gro
If you were expecting something interesting like a hybrid to form then no. You won't even have something like those hybrid squirrels due to eating Acorns, Sperm does not have any form of Pilus to do so
>>27350573
Well it's not exactly "bait" either, it's just a 4chan post. I was actually curious about the plant thing and got many cool answers.
But I wrote it in such a way that it's more appealing, such as "if I give jizzwater to houseplant will I make hybrid pls reply". The packaging is honey, but the content is real. Except the guys on /sci/ didn't like it that much. And you have to compete with endless fembot and normie threads to not get archived immediately.
Bait is what I would call "fembot feels" and black ding dong posts. Now that I think about it r9k might have the same problem as Youtube where you can only get 5m+ subs if you yell at facecams
>>27350629
Oh gosh
How utterly kawaii
>>27348478
Dont ever buy weed from this guy
