Do you shoplift, /r9k/?
If you do, please share your stories.
Little suburban white boy here, I used to steal fried chicken from my local supermarket. Eventually a butcher followed me out and asked if I was going to pay for it, and I pussed out and followed him back in to the security center. I was such a pissy little idiot that I actually went online and filed a complaint.
Little did I know that the butcher was my friend's brother, and we came to this realization when he walked in on me smoking weed out of his bong in his room. Big fucking fiasco, a lot of yelling between the two and some uncomfortable times. Turns out that the supermarket REALLY doesn't want its employees stopping shoplifters, and corporate opened his file and investigated the incident. Funny stuff.
Anyways fast forward a bit and we reconciled. We smoke weed together sometimes and I've done psychedelics I think twice now with him.
Plz dont shoplift, ill have to work them.
t. store security
>>27330893
>be me 12 living in a small racist city in the nowhere of europe
>local grocery store managed by a kebab
>steal shit eventually get caught one day
>tell him i would tell my parents he touched my pee-pee
>get free stuff whenever i was coming in the store
>>27330893
If I want candy I steal candy
If I need lube I steal lube
Yesterday I stole a $200 dress for a gift for my friend.
I've never been caught.
i steal tons of bottles of delsym and packets of benzedrex inhalers. all i do is go to the aisle, take them and walk out.
I work at Krogers and you could probably steal a bunch of stuff if you go in during the midnight hours (we're 24/7). You could probably just walk out too, nearly every employee there is a dazed college kid who probably hates the store anyways
>be 15/16 in local supermarket
>browsing the snacks aisle and pick up a big bar of chocolate with no intention of stealing it
>as i'm about to turn and walk to the cash register i get a phone call from my mom
>without thinking, subconsciously answer the call and put the chocolate in my pocket
>for some reason walk towards the exit whilst on the phone with my mom
>call ends when i'm about 10 meters away from the exit, with bignig security guard overseeing the store
>remember that i've got chocolate in my pocket and deduce that it's too shifty to pull it out of my pocket, turn backwards and go and pay for it
>decide to walk out with it in my pocket, pretty sure bignig isn't onto me but the thrill of getting caught is amazing
>stroll past bignig and out the exit, smiling ear to ear and enjoy the free chocolate
that was the first time i ever shoplifted, and although it was a minor theft the adrenaline buzz i got from shoplifting was so awesome that i didn't stop until i was about 18. ended up stealing some pretty cool shit from video game stores too and never once got caught
>Used to put expensive earphones in my basket
>Go to the self service checkouts
>Act like I scanned them and put them in
>Scanner thing fucks up over the new weight in my bag
>Attendant comes and almost always gets it back working without checking my bag
>Sometimes scanned the earphones as bananas or something equally cheap but this took more time and made me nervous
>Did this for a while until I was caught scanning multiple things through as bananas
>Act like I wasn't with it and miles away
>Scan everything through correctly and allowed to go on my way
>Only occasionally do it now
>>27330893
I'm an independent vendor in a retail store and I can't tell you how entertaining it is to watch loss prevention catch you niggers
i used to take a ton of spray paint and markers, never got caught
I think I stole a small pack of candy once, that's about it
I worked at a big supermarket for about 3 years and I'd let people steal on my till, I'd hold my hand over the barcode and press the button to emulate the scanning noise so no one would ever suspect it, if I wanted something I'd just get someone to buy it from me and give them a load of shit as well
Eventually I was trained on security, self service and then the petrol station, which all led to me giving away well over a grand of stuff
I never got caught and got a shining recommendation when I left
>>27331136
got another story, better than the last
>be 17/18, 2010/2011ish
>at college (uk), me and my friend bored as fuck during a three hour break
>walk into town and browse the stores
>go into game store, mostly ps3/360/ds games, although there's a ps2 game shelf in the corner
>all display cases in the store don't contain game discs/manuals but the ps2 ones do, and my friend notices this
>we proceed to steal 4/5 discs each, slipping them out of the cases and sliding them into our bags
>do this a few times a week for a few months, pretty much clear out the entire ps2 section and nobody notices
>sometimes take the game manuals too just for the fun of it
>got some awesome games (resident evil, hitman, mgs), some retarded games too (leisure suit larry, really old ea sports games)
>some of the discs were scratched and didn't work well, but we still copped a fuckload of games
one time we got stopped and searched by police for a completely unrelated offense right by the store. they said they could smell weed coming from us and searched us. they only found a few empty baggies and rizlas so they couldn't charge us for anything, but funnily enough they saw a load of ps2 discs floating around in our bags but didn't even ask why they were there. my friend had his copy of leisure suit larry confiscated for some reason but nothing else happened. was a good day
I don't shoplift, but I steal stuff from ebay by claiming it was damaged or not the advertised item
No
I feel good in knowing that I cause no harm to anyone by my own free will.
>>27331347
Thanks for the laugh anon
>police took leisure suite Larry for no reason
Hahhahahaha I can just imagine them taking that disc with that short big nosed fucked on the disc art thinking they needed to check it out
Someone teach me how to shoplift.
>>27333937
This.
Help me also anons
>me and friends shoplifting
>my twin doesn't want to steal anything
>we get caught, taken in back room
>employee insists she saw my twin stealing
>twin insists she stole nothing, empty pockets to prove it
>has a sack of weed in pocket
>cops come
>they LOL at us for being silly stoner kids
>take us home with absolutely zero trouble except confiscate the weed
>>27330893
For about 3 months or so finally got caught stopped. The only way i'm starting that back up if it comes down to survival. I think i was about 17 or something. Got caught by undercover cops.
When I was a little kid I used to take the marbles that were on the bottom shelf because people would rip the bags open for them. I used to eat candy from bags people ripped open too.
I loved going to the shops.
>>27331136
>adrenaline buzz i got from shoplifting was so awesome
I don't even steal for financial reasons anymore, I just steal for the fun of it. I'm the worst kind of degenerate.at least I only steal from big-box stores who I know are making ridiculous sums of cash and paying their employees minimum wage, I know I'm not some big moral crusader but at least I'm not stealing from the little mom-and-pop local stores who struggle to make ends meet
Friendly reminder that all shoplifters eventually get caught.
>>27335150
I shoplifted once 10 years ago, was never caught :carat)
>>27330893
Not really but sometimes I'll drink a water bottle or something like that and leave it around once it's empty.
>>27331923
Does that actually work? I'd like to learn more about this?
>>27333937
>>27334526
get bag with store name on it
go get item
go to customer service or cash register or where ever a bunch of people are standing
wait in line for a second
make sure no one is paying attention to you
put item in bag
walk out
didnt know there were so many shoplifterbros
whats the most expensive thing youve stolen? i usually buy something in addition to stealing
>early morning
>big empty supermarket
>go to the sports equipment aisle
>take a hand grip exerciser out of box
>try it out
>put it back in the box and take it with me
>go to the clothes part
>take some pants and go into the changing room
>put the hand gripper in my jackets pocket
>put pants back
>put box back
>go buy some lolipops and donuts
I shoplift every time I enter a large retail store. It's usually protein bars, but for whatever reason I have to take something every time I go in. I walk out of my college's dining hall without paying for my meal on a daily basis. I work in the stock room of a clothing store for side money and I've already taken 2 shirts so far in my 3 weeks of working there. Feelsgoodman
>>27335646
>go to W@lmart
>buy i7 online, arrange to pick it up in store
>take out i7
>put in shitty old Pentium
>return the box
>female nignog in returns (they put the dumbest of the dumb in returns) looks at the box, sees the little silver square in the display part of the box, and finishes the return
>done this 4 times now
>?????
>profit
>>27330989
how do you steal fried chicken
>>27330893
I did security at Macy's, and Jesus fucking Christ it's the last place you want to steal from.
>five security guards on shift at all times
>all undercover so they'll stalk you
>if you lay a finger on them they'll throw you into the wall and handcuff you
>never let you off with "just a warning"
>you will get arrested for stealing underwear out of a pack
>a CCTV room with 6 screens and 80 cameras
Some Macy's stores have holding cells like a jail.
>transparent ruler in cart
>didn't see it and never scanned through checkout
>neet, free ruler
>forget about it on the way to the carpark and leave it in shopping cart
Well, that's karma I guess.
>>27334607
>undercover cops in a store
>>27335799
>holding cells like a jail
I thought it was illegal for private entities to detain you against your will.
>>27330893
FBI is wasting tax moneys by investigating on shoplifters. It has come to this.
>>27335209
As long as you don't do it do often, yes. I was fucking with amiibo scalpers a little bit ago. When it came, I'd rip the corner off the box and ebay would return my money. I didn't have to send back the amiibo either
>>27335868
It is illegal. As soon as they touch you, you can sue them
>>27335718
devilish, they never contacted you about it when they sent it back?
i might have to do this, wonder if i could do it with a video card.
>>27336098
Arresting criminals is even legal in Cuckistan/Europe. How can it not be legal to detain and maybe waterboard criminals until they confess whatever you want to hear in the land of the free.
Seriously though, an individual may detain somebody until the police arrives in Germany.
>>27335868
>>27336098
Depends on the state. It's literally legal to detain people in Texas if they've shoplifted.
>>27336178
>calls america cuckistan
>literally getting cucked every day big BMC (Big Mohammed Cock)
lmaoing @ urlife
>>27336198
>Cuckistan/Europe
>Somehow reads it as "USA is cuckistan"
Land of the retarded.
>>27330893
Only small things like packs of gum or some shit.
Most retailers take loss protection pretty seriously nowadays and common targets like toys, clothing, electronics have security tags on them. Some of them are really well hidden too.
>>27336298
how can i distinguish between a regular barcode and a security tag?
>>27336421
If it's printed on the box, it's usually nothing, but if it looks something like this then it's there for security reasons.
>>27336444
Also, there's these fuckers.
>>27336476
what is this
bloxoxoxoxoxblox
>>27331923
You are the eternal enemy of biz and should feel bad, those are individual sellers trying to make a living you nigger.
>>27336607
I only do it to scalpers. If you make a living scalping Nintendo toys, you need to reevaluate your life
Anyone else here except for >>27331923 steal from Ebay? I really, really want to try this.
>>27336688
Just do it. Ebay is completely buyer-centric. They will always side with you if you say the item was not as described
>>27336709
Won't the seller ask for the item back though if you say that?
I actually got something that was broken before, but I didn't get the refund until I sent it back.
>>27336781
9 times out of 10, they gave me the refund first so I never gave the item back. The one time they wanted me to send the tiem first, I sent a box with a brick back to have "proof" that I returned it.
>>27336528
this is a sticker that is paper thin, and is generally hidden in things like books.
source: i stole a new release hardcover a year ago and when i got home i noticed the security sticker. maybe someone didnt activate it or something but it was sneakily hidden on a random page, and so thin that the book usually wont automatically open to that page.
>>27336476
I use to peel those off all the time when I stole books
>>27336915
What books did you steal
>>27336964
riddle books, books I needed for class, and manga so that I could give it to a chubby weaboo girl who let me rub my dick between her thighs.
>>27336835
I make my living selling on eBay. Unless the seller has feedback in the tens of thousands or is from China, chances are you're ripping off a small time seller like me. Shoplifting is one thing but scamming from eBay gets it bumped up to possible felony charges since its through the mail.
One negative I got was from the one time I sold an unused code for an xbox game. Never again.
>>27337064
Like I said before, I only target scalpers. Those people are scum
>>27335868
technically illegal, but happens anyway, when I was younger me and my colleague caught this black kid stealing so we made him clean the staff toilets before letting him go, he was crying his head off, fucking loled.
>>27330893
Took a few watches from jcpenney, from target as well. I just went in the fitting room and cut it out, put in pocket and left.
Now I don't care anymore, when I'm at a store I just take small things I want.
>>27331090
Wtf are those?
And for what reason?
Is it some cheap high or something?
Can't say I really shoplift anymore. As once you past 18 it's not worth it. but I did steal a ton of shit from the hotel I work at. I've gotten a mini fridge, a microwave, 2 actually decent monitors, a comfy ass executive office chair, also i drink a few beers a day here while shit posting/watching anime. Living the wage life ain't so bad senpai
Also when we lost our liquor license about a year ago when a new company took over. they had to throw literally all there alcohol out. Shit was dope. The managers took most of it but I still got away with a a few bottles and case of beer.
shoplifting is a bitch crime. most shoplifters are teen girls, middle-aged ladies or fags who just go for the "teehee I'm a bad criminal" appeal of it.
>>27337654
The inactive ingredients in them are chemically similar to methamphetamine and in high doses will give you a high.
>>27334568
Amber pls.
>>27330893
It was just a few weeks i entered an all black school
>Be 16 yo anon
>meet kid lets call him isaac
>isaac is a fucked up kid, but with him being the only white kid i knew there i decided it was better than being lonely
>Me and him are smoking ganja one day when he suggests to go to Ralph's
>i dont have any money but figure he must want to pay for us
>how nice of him
>well we go and then as we walk in he says
>'ok anon, open your bag and lets go to the beer isle'
>wat
>hesitant at first but then i figure i really have nothing to lose
>end up stealing like 5 bottles of margaritas
>go to the park and get piss drunk and smoke
Been stealing a little here and there ever since
ITS SO EASY
>>27337880
my RL friend that is a 110% robot does this because he likes being a "bad boy" and i do enjoy him stealing shit and sharing with me, he got caught once when i was with him and they thought i was stealing too, it only made him want to steal more. it just doesn't seem worth it to me though.
t. professional criminal
>>27330989
>DUDE WEED LMAO
Kill yourself fucking retard.
>>27334607
>undercover cops
>>27335133
Stealing from local stores isn't good unless owner deserves it
But yeah it's honestly fun to steal shit I've realized, although haven't done it in a while because of job-related shit. Last big thing I stole was a 64gb micro-USB, just ended up giving it to a friend
>>27336476
I peel those off and don't steal it, I just do it for the /mischief/
>>27338488
>margaritas
ishygddt
>>27340102
>getting caught
see that's what makes much more of a bitch crime. you get caught and you're at the mercy of an angry balding normalfag who thinks he's better than you and you feel like a total bitch
I drink stuff while walking around the stores before just chucking it on a shelf somewhere before I leave.
I'll also steal small shit, there's no way I'm paying $8 for a fucking battery.
This right here:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xD2pFprO8iA#
>>27331133
worked at kroger in high school, everything said here is true
