Have to meet with my professor today, and "I browsed r9k and considered committing suicide with a boxcutter" probably isn't going to cut it. Any ideas?
Getting fucked really hard while browsing internet just maybe?
>>27328491
Nigger, say you were sick. Or that your girlfriend broke up with you and you were heartbroken. Or that you had a family emergency. He doesn't care too much to bother, most of the time.
>>27328491
Say you were out helping the less fortunate and that he/she should check their privilege.
>pour boiling water on face
>i rescued a bitch from a burning house.had the best sex of my life.
>the day after
>bitch left me for a stray male dog
>had severe depression these past days and had to skip class
>>27328532
>He doesn't care too much to bother, most of the time.
This one really cares, to the point where she demands a doctor's note for sick days.
>>27328546
>he/she should check their privilege
She's an asian woman and I'm a mulato man, the privilege argument isn't going to work.
>>27328491
>suicide by boxcutter
>isn't going to cut it
How did nobody notice this golden pun
>>27328491
You're in college.... Wtf is he gonna to suspend you? Tell him to fuck off it was personal issues.
>>27328580
Wasn't a good pun or an intentional one.
>>27328594
>Wtf is he gonna to suspend you?
Fail me. There are no tests or quizzes, so the final grade is pretty much up to her.
>>27328597
This saddens me anon, gl with finding an excuse tho. Keep up your unintentional puns someone is bound to appreciate them
tell him you are seeing other people, and you really need some space
Explosive diarrhea. Always works
say that you are seeing someone else, and you need some space
>>27328607
What kind of shit college is this...?
Honesty is the best policy. If you were genuinely considering killing yourself, tell your professor that you were struggling with suicidal thoughts.
>>27328491
is she hot? maybe she will pityfuck you
>>27328580
Because this isn't reddit
>>27328851
It's a pretty good one (the program I'm in is top 10 or top 5 in the country IIRC), but the professor has the freedom to do shit like this because it's a higher-level course and she's insanely qualified. We're basically graded based on our contribution to the class and an "application" segment that happens at the end which I think will involve something similar to a Model UN conference.
>>27329405
That will just get me shipped off to a mental hospital
"I have serious depression. I'd rather not go into details."
This worked for me more than once.
>>27329629
Why would you get shipped off to a mental hospital? Your professor has no power over you like that.
>>27328568
actually asian privilege is above white
>>27329726
asians don't give a fuck so it wont work on them
>>27328851
The National Institution of Mental Illness
