I want some serious self-loathing in this thread. Tell me the intimate details of how far you've fallen. I want to cringe so hard that my skin falls in a big clump on the floor. I'll start by telling you about my morning so far. It's pretty degenerate and disgusting, so don't read if that's not your thing.
>it's 5 am and I haven't slept all night
>tweaking really hard on meth, can feel like I'm starting to crash
>when you crash on stims, you get insane munchies
>nothing in the pantry or fridge
>only have like a dollar and some change since I spend all my money on drugs
>dig through all the empty food boxes in my room for crumbs, but it's not enough to fill my belly
>go to the 24-hr pharmacy and grab some shitty candy filled with high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils
>took advantage of the five finger discount special they were offering
>shuffled out the exit looking anxious and wobbly as fuck
>walking home, pass by a trolley stop
>fucking dying for a cig, haven't had a smoke in like three days and my cravings haven't gotten any better
>using my noodle, hypothesize that there could be half-smoked cigs around the stop since the trolley might've come before riders could finish smoking
>get on my hands and knees searching for butts
>finally found one, it's been stepped on and it's covered in dirt but there's still like a quarter of a cig left on it
>light it up and smoke it, coughing and choking once I get a whiff of that thing
>tastes like a mixture of flatulence and dirty street orphans
>it feels awesome and I get an amazing rush from it, but I can't enjoy it too much because I'm so ashamed of myself
>start fucking bawling as I walk the rest of the way home
>passersby keep as much distance as possible from me, trying to ignore the crying meth addict stumbling down the sidewalk in dirty unwashed clothes
>get home, blow my nose and suck up my tears, and post this thread
I've had worse days, but I'm still feeling pretty shitty about myself today.
you need help anon. is there no one that could help you? where you from?
That's pretty low, OP.
Why don't you use some of that meth energy to make some fucking money. Even mechanical turk or something would be the kind of repetitive task a tweaker might enjoy.
Is there more like that picture?
Even though it's not for physical pleasure, it's lewd and I like to see it.
you don't really want to hear depraved stories do you anon you just need to vent. i enjoyed your story and feel really bad that you're feeling so shitty. nicotine addiction is a bitch. but hey at least you had a lot of fun with your shard while it lasted. the good times will come around again you just have to wait it out. if you didn't feel bad then feeling good wouldn't be as nice as it is. remember this.
>>27326968
I'll give you a shiney new nickle to stick a sharpie in your pooper
>>27326968
Don't feel bad. I'd smile at you if I saw you, as long as you didn't attack me.
>>27326968
Statistically you will have a good day eventually. So, every bad day gets you closer to a good one. Also, I have some meth if you want it. The clue to my location and contact info is in this post. All you have to do is find me and the meth is yours.
I can't compare to that OP, but I feel like shit due to my situation.
>meet girl online
>first girl that I've ever had a conversation with online (never had one with a girl offline)
>she's really cool and we have the same interests
>fall for her
>she doesn't talk to me much, I always have to talk to her first
>seems day by day she's growing more bored with me
>started buying her things to keep her interest
>feel like shit with every cent spent
>tfw I've become what I make fun of here, a beta orbiter
>>27326968
>coming down
>ever
First mistake desu
Venting thread? Well, I probably don't have as bad a time as some robots but here goes:
>high school
>I feel pretty happy, have friends and partake in a ton of band activities
>essentially a cyborg
>deal with unrequited love and knowing my friends only talk to me when they have no one else to be with
>constantly try out for everything in band and do graded performances
>always fall just short and my teacher never admits me into anything
>eventually get into the high level band I thought I belonged in in my senior year
>asked to play a new instrument, don't care because I wanted it so badly
>now the music is real hard since I've been reading the same level sheets since 9th grade
>in the end I choke up when I'm thanking my teacher for everything
>the other day my mom says he let me into the top band because she called and complained
>soul is crushed
>realize I was never anything
>the confidence and skill I thought I had learned never existed
>teacher had me pegged as a failure from the start
>as so on as I get to college I give up on classes after 2 months
>spend the rest of the term as a hermit in my dorm, only going to dining hall
>Flunk out and left with loans to repay for credits I never achieved
>high school had been my solace, knowing I had been able to achieve once
>Now I can't even hold into that, knowing that the only things I ever achieved were because he had no one else to appoint or my mom forced his hand
>Haven't slept in 2 days, and now I can't stop thinking about my onetime love
>she's in college nearby but we don't talk
>now it's all too obvious I'm a complete failure
>probably going to stay inside until I go to vote for Trump just to fuck everyone over
>then probably an hero and be at peace
>meantime I can barely function
>food hasn't tasted like much of anything since the girl rejected me 3 years ago
Life is shit
>>27327604
w--what? think of your logic here anon, what the fuck are you doing? you litterally said it yourself? so you're smart enough to realise she is growing bored of you... so you buy her things...? spending your own cash to make some girl fake like you more because you're buying her things and not like you for who you are?
you're your own worst enemy, abort that girl and move on, jesus
>>27327683
>probably going to stay inside until I go to vote for Trump just to fuck everyone over
the most important line in that entire post, why do i feel that every trump supporter is just this guy? voting for him just to see how much he can fuck the world over?
the end of days
>>27326968
At least you recognize you're a piece of shit, but you also know it doesn't have to be this way. So why the fuck do you continue? Watch the video then get your life in order.
https://youtu.be/ao8L-0nSYzg
>>27327209
Rationally I probably do need some help, but even so I don't know if I want it. Recovery isn't really viable if you're not 100% on board with it, if you don't genuinely want to get clean. Thinking of being sober for the rest of my life fills me with terror. Rehabilitation seems like a really fucking insurmountable task to me. Like in my brain I have it pretty much ingrained in my being, "Well, yeah, I'm gonna be high pretty much all the time up until I die".
I do have one person, she's my best friend. She's a gorgeous red-haired girl with glowing eyes that have the perfect mix of compassion and worry. The kinda eyes a really nice mommy would have. It really feels like she's my mom, though I'd never tell her that. She really wants me to get clean. She's really worried about me all the time. If I'm gonna do it for anyone, I would get clean for her. I wish so much that I could. I feel so guilty for making her stress all day about how I'm doing. She loves me a lot and I don't feel like I deserve that.
>>27327242
I've been thinking about making a Fiver posting, where I recorded people songs about anything they wanted. When I'm tweaking, I can splooge out pretty tunes like it's nothing. But I'm not sure, there's probably lots of people offering that on Fiver and they're probably much better than me. Mechanical Turk always gives me these pounding migraines, so that's a no-go. My brain gets turned to mush doing those surveys. Not sure how else to make money. I'll have to rub my noggin together on it and figure something out, but I'm sure I'll come up with something.
All other times I'm really fucking lazy, but when I need money for drugs I become like fucking Ben Franklin, all fucking industrious and shit. I don't fuck around, when it's time to hustle I fucking start hustling. Getting up at 6 am and applying in-person for jobs and sometimes starting different business ventures. But once I get the drugs, it's straight back to doing nothing.
>>27327249
Yeah, here's another one from the set. This is all that exists though, don't be fooled by the file names into thinking there's one more pic. Found these on some shitty clickbait article posted on 420chan. Makes me wanna die inside thinking about that sticky syrup getting stuck in my ass hair for weeks.
But I still get this voyeuristic thrill from looking at these pics. They have to be fucking staged, right? No one would be so retarded.
>>27327269
Yeah, I'll admit it I guess I wanted to vent as well. You can kinda see the moment in my greentext where I just gave up on trying to hide behind the tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, right when I mention crying while walking home. That's the moment I felt really lonely. I just wanted to be heard, I guess. I usually keep to myself so that kinda thing's embarrassing to me. But I was telling the truth too in my beginning, I really like reading other people's stories and feeling empathy for them. Seeing how human we all are, I guess.
And you're right, gotta have the bad times to get the good ones. I've been going through a speeding rollercoaster these past few months and I just want off this ride already. Just give me some fucking stability please. A comfy bed, always there for my head to rest on through the good times and bad times. A steady source of income, one that's legit and at least kinda respectable and doesn't make me want to shoot myself. That could mean getting on the dole, could mean getting a job. Not too sure right now. And I'd like a supportive family, who checked in on me and asked how I was doing and sent me homecooked baked goods to cheer me up when I was having trouble with my mental health. It feels like my family completely ignores me. I keep getting fucking dismissed and pushed away: "Oh Anon is very bright, he'll figure it out himself". They don't know I'm addicted to drugs. I don't know what they'd think if they knew, I'm scared they'll cut me off completely.
>>27327528
I don't know if I believe that. I don't spend my time in a very variable way, so there's not like a wide range of possibilities for good days and bad days, which means my daily outlook looks quite disheartening. You see, I mostly do the same things every day. That's just kinda what meth addicts will eventually tend to do. Don't get me wrong, you get so much shit done the first few weeks of using stims. But as the weeks pass, you start doing less and less productive work. You spend hours on completely pointless bullshit. How am I supposed to be happy living like that?
Like for instance, for an hour every day I turn my entire room upside-down, looking for some drugs I might've forgotten to take or a crisp ten dollar bill hidden underneath all the trash or maybe a cig that fell on the floor without my knowledge. I look through the same bags, the same envelopes, the same packages, the same boxes, every fucking day without one day off. Rationally, there is fucking nothing worthwhile to be found here. I've looked through it all. But every day without fail a little bird starts chattering in my ear, "Wait a sec, didn't you have some ketamine leftover from that festival a while back?" and I can't make that fucking birdy silent. I need to be sure there's nothing there.
>>27327604
I'd advise you to get out of that relationship as soon as you can. It sounds toxic. I'm well aware, it'll sting ya for sure to leave someone you've fallen for. But the longer you wait, the more of her bullshit you put up with, the more expenses you put into this "friendship", the more it's gonna hurt when it all comes toppling down on you. Let's be honest, she is more than likely friends with a lot of men and you probably don't really mean much to her. Get out while you can, bro. Love fucking sucks sometimes, but there are lots of women on the web. Women who will treat you with common decency. Don't ever tell yourself you deserve any less than that. Take care of yourself.
>>27326968
Bhahaha jesus christ. You are and always be scum. Off yourself already
>>27328241
>>27327209 here. it's part of the addiction being scared of coming down. but as soon as you leave this sickness behind and you'll get a hold of your life again you'll be happy you're clean. and for fucks sake if she loves you then fucking >pic related
>>27327651
Well, I went and redosed because I couldn't give enough of a shit to fall back down to Earth and get some rest. Hope you're happy, man. Used to be quite the fiend, staying up for upwards of a week at a time without ever coming down. At a certain point though, my brain would eventually say enough was enough and make me pass right out even when I was still tweaking.
>>27327683
Fuck dude, all that hits so close to home. I was like a perfect model student back in high school, on the headmaster's list and getting invited to academic conferences and winning national competitions and shit like that. But then college came along and I just couldn't fucking keep up. It felt like my brain just got really fucking retarded out of nowhere. Nothing in my classes made sense, it was like they were speaking Arabic.
So I got diagnosed with psychotic depression little bit after that. Big symptom of that is cognitive problems and trouble thinking clearly. My doctor, my therapist, and my department adviser all told me I was gonna fuck up the next semester, that I was in no condition to stay in school, that I needed to go stay at the hospital for a while so I can get better. That just pissed me off, who were they to tell me that? I was gonna do fine this semester, so fuck them. So I didn't follow their advice, I stopped taking their meds, and I terminated all further appointments with them.
One thing that made me really vibe with your greentext was that people kept telling you you'd fail and then it winded up happening. And that's what happened to me too. I didn't ever go to class, because I'd be delirious every day. So I failed the semester. I flunked out of school. Doesn't that fucking sting? When people turn out to be right about you being a failure? Fuck, I just wanted to see the look on their faces when I passed all my classes and did really well. I just wanted to wipe off those fake shiteating grins, make them regret talking to me like I'm a child.
>>27327683
>happy
>band
Pick one. I was miserable in high school until I quit the Orchestra and joined the football team. I kinda wish I'd joined the theater, because there were some cute weirdo girls in it.
>>27328241
it may be a bad idea to suggest more drugs but various psychedelics have been used to treat addiction.
You are pathetic and a loser
I'm better than you.
Haha ugly dumb inferior poo-poo brain
Are you gonna cry? My muscles are big, and so is my penis. Women desire me and love me.
They laugh @ u and they think I'm cool, I can run really fast
>>27328554
thats poetry
>>27328462
(I'm like 32 now.)
