hello /r9k/ ive noticed that youre all fucking pathetic. I used to be like you and now im your so called "chad" and life has never been so good. youre only pathetic because you havent experienced life yet.
thats why im here.
I can help you get anything, girls, money, a job, a life.
Ask away. doing this because i feel sorry for you.
can you help me find a new personality?
this is starting to be like some kinda shitty alt-comedy routine done by bored teens. it's getting overdone. get with the times and pick up on wagie and neetposting familia
>>27325155
Decent chadpost. I give you a 3/10
>>27325155
Lol looks like her arm is like 18"
>>27325176
what do you like in other people? do that. it takes practice and even more practice. start by noticing when youre even just thinking things which you dont like, either theyre autistic or whatever reason, and just try to rethink that in a different ways. Youve probably heard "thoughts become things" and thats exactly true, they have a ripple effect and become your whole life. Will your personality change over night? no, obviously not for some itll take weeks or months, its apart of your brain, once it changes though, all will be swell. All you have to do is start, and keep going.
Tfw you are so deep into the robot life that you make up an alternate life of being the very thing you despise the most. Then you shitpost acting like you're not just a 25 year old kissless virgin sitting in his mom's basement.
>>27325316
I will admit a few years ago, I would have done exactly that, but that was old me homie i dont even feel the same. i was on 4chan for /fit/ tips and looked around at other boards, this one caught my attention; this board was me at my worst. I have sympathy for you all id rather you all changed than being a waste of oxygen.
>>27325364
1/10 see this same thread every day
>>27325155
How do I overcome my social anxiety and my existential depression?
>>27325176
You don't. You accept yourself. Only then will you be happy. Improvement can only happen once you accept who you are. Don't listen to that guy, he's pretty fucking stupid
>>27325408
this is more difficult heres how i cured mine: first you have to fucking take care of yourself, put effort into yourself. Eat healthy, meditate, see a therapist, get some meds, try new things, be productive. As for anxiety, this is a huge process not gonna lie this will take months to years. Start by being confident with yourself, like i said take care of yourself. Have good hygiene, wear nice deodorant, nice clean clothes (clothing tips is a whole other thing, if you need it ask me) and start small, like real fucking small but dont get too comfy. Try talking to a shop keeper making small conversation like "haha yes the weather has been so rainy lately but its nice every once in a while". if you fuck up dont go have a pity party, think of what you could have done better and TRY AGAIN. its a long process, youll start to figure it out along the way, trust yourself and be there for yourself. If you fail then dont stress, youre still doing better than everyone else on this shit board.
>>27325428
of corse, accept yourself. but still, no one is stopping that anon from being the best version of himself (from his perspective) ;) what gave me alot of confidence was changing myself.
>>27325155
Lmao op. Your insults mean nothing.
My density is higher then yours normal.
>>27325155
How do I get close to a girl I really like in class. We've never talked before but she might like me because I see her glance at me sometime.
there is a cute girl in my class who i think likes me
i have never spoken to her but she always stares at me and orients her body towards wherever im sitting
ive been in this class a month and a half
how do i ask her out without being a weirdo
>>27325531
I got aids reading this. autistic/10
>>27325542
Focus on having a genuine connection first of all. Everything you do with her should feel natural, and good. Being her class is a huge benefit, sit near her and make small talk, first about something relevant, the work or the teacher something like that, do this a couple times and then have small talk about the outside world "on my way walking here i saw blah blah" and then eventually conversations will evolve "oh you like this and that, me too!" During this time its so so important to be sensitive to her reactions to you, does she like talking about that, did she think that was funny, is she trying to end the conversation?
finally once youre having conversations on a regular this should take an estimate of a few weeks if you do things right, invite her out, maybe something casual first like a party or a big social event. I could go on and on about dates if you need help with that. Also if you need more help with talking to her like if you need tips how to not be nervous, I can help you out a bit. GL
>>27325559
check out what i said here >>27325645 if you have questions just ask
>>27325645
please expand on dates/nervousness
also
must this process take weeks?
>>27325645
We're in a small packed classroom and I don't sit near her at all so any change in seat will be too obvious. I'll try to talk to her after a test or something.
What do you do when she's quiet most of the time? What do you even say.
>>27325732
a few weeks is just an estimate until you both feel ready to do stuff out of school. this could take a few weeks or maybe even a few days dont rush it though.
ok dates:
Pre-date: I call it that because its half a date and half a normal chill. Invite her to go with you somewhere casual like an event and if you have any normie couple friends bring them. Make sure youll like the event that youre going to and that she will too. This is a time tog et comfortable with eachother. On this date throw a few flirts to her and try to start the spark between you.
1st date: Present yourself well. before the date take a shower, shave, clean yourself up, style your hair, wear nice clean clothes. Just thought id mention that just in case youre a bit of a shut in.
pick her up, take her out, a restaurant is nice. this is a time to get to know her more intimately. Shes also going to get to know you more intimately so be ready. Also be willing to pay for the date, most bitches like that. After you can go for a nice relaxing walk around and really feel the connection. If everything went well and it seems appropriate, kiss her. To do this take her home and if it feels right in the moment, lean in and go for a short and sweet kiss, gently holding her waist is ok.
For the rest of the dates continue getting to know her and getting closer with her, do things you know shed like, try new things together, or stay at home and cook for her; its actually just like dating in the movies.
cont.
>>27325155
>I can help you get anything, girls, money, a job, a life.
>money
I don't care about the rest as I already do have a life, a part-time job and somehow a woman who seems to like me about as much as I like her, whom I'll gf soon, and am pretty content with my life.
How does one make more money when physically all you can do is a part-time job though? It's not an "I'm too lazy/I want to be NEET" kind of thing, but an actual chronic illness limiting me.
So humour me, how would one make more money through legal means when already working part-time and partially being on an "autismbucks" equivalent?
>>27325987
ok confidence,
Ask yourself "are you who you want to be"? if youre not then fucking change. literally no one is stopping you from being the best version of yourself except your stupid excuses. Find who you want to be is it adventurous, fit, funny, charming? then be it. I said this to someone else but: Start with your thoughts, the things you think and the way you think about them. Its a process to change. First start recognising when youre thinking things you dont like. Stop thinking "i fucking hate the world i wanna go home" to "how can i make this situation more enjoyable; wheres the positive". Its a long long journey for confidence. Another thing you can do is put effort into yourself, i also said this before but its true. Go for a run, enjoy your own company, try new things, make personal gains. You have to find your own path though, the first step is always starting.
>>27325987
>its actually just like dating in the movies.
you're not normal are you
>offer to pay
this is submissive behavior which will get you into friendzone unless shes an aspie
>>27325995
i dont know too much about your situation but change part-time to full time and then go up.
>>27325865
what do you want to talk about with her? like HONESTLY want to hear from her? If shes quiet just ask some questions, what did you do on the weekend, did you hear about this, what do you think of that etc. She might be more a listening type, maybe tell her about something (something interesting). Talking to people, girls, is a skill. Practise and build up.
>>27326078
believe me, alot of girls like that movie shit. They like the idea of it and they like to brag about it. Age does play a factor though, as they get older and more mature they dont care that much about it. I assumed that anon was sort of young.
A tip: alpha and submissive and all that gaylord shit, dont mention it to girls hahaha
>>27325987
I don't understand how the first kiss is done. Do I like drop her off than walk out and stand next to her and just grab onto her? Should I have broken a touch barrier before this? Is it really appropriate to do on the first date?
ideally don't respond with "do what feels naturals" because touching never feels natural to me and even when I was a baby I was never held because I would cry when people touched me.
>>27326117
sure but theres nothing less attractive than a guy literally cucking himself for a girl. Offering to pay, being overly clingy and nice literally doing anything for her. This comes off and actually is insincere and they can see it.
>>27325155
ive had my dick sucked for a dozen hours by the only girl ive ever made a move on
>hurr durr everyone who isnt shitting themselves trying to appease women is just a virgin
what the fuck is wrong with you kids these days?
fucks sake im only 23
>>27326137
then dont go "n-no female, I'll pay. I'll do it for you" just reach for the bill and start paying without drawing attention to it. Thats the difference between a cuck who will be used for money and a man whos going to get some pussy. You offer to split around 2nd or 3rd time going out.
>>27326138
I see alot of people complaing and crying about how theyre a kissless virgin. Im just giving want the people want.
>>27326088
Thanks OP, I'll sleep now but keep posting. Hopefully there'll be more to read tomorrow.
>>27326088
>when physically all you can do is a part-time job though?
>change part-time to full time
Gee, thanks. I guess I should magically cure my incurable progressive chronic illness so I can do that.
I was hoping there would be some more useful information on that as some other things you mentioned are sound, understandably it's a difficult topic though.
>>27326137
Of course going to extremes won't work, but as with everything moderation is key. Sadly we live in a society where it's kind of expected for a man to pay the first date at least, so not doing that might make your success chance drop a lot especially when casually dating. Instead of being overly clingy and doing literally anything for her, tone it down a bit at least at first. Giving her the chance to start showing such signs herself before doing so can make a huge difference. It's like telling someone you love her, you don't do that upon first encounter but hold that until you're both more connected to the point of getting serious even if you think you already love her way before that.
>>27325155
late night self-help infomertial: the thread
>>27326200
>i just got laid this week guise please appreciate my humble bragging
so do you kids have relationships anymore or do you all just fuck one or two drunk girls and move on with your lives after you catch herpes?
My advice. Fuck 3D women. 2D for life.
>>27326233
Like I said, I dont know too much about your situation or disorder. if its preventing you from doing activity, get a job somewhere seated, theres plenty of them. i actually want to help you more.
>>27325155
>I can help you get anything, girls, money, a job, a life.
HAHAHA
>>27326118
please respond to this
>>27325155
Could you give me a basic outline of this bullshit "game" thing people are supposed to play when talking to people they are interested in? Like etiquette of response times and all that shit
>>27326331
during the date, whenever you want to touch her (eg hold her hand) and see from her perspective and really think and use common fucking sense if its appropriate, if youre not sure dont do it. Dont make the kiss or "breaking the touch barrier" too intense, dont think too much of it.
I am 35. No friends, not much work experience. Been NEETing for the majority of my life.
How to turn life around?
>>27325155
>I can help you get anything
Make the eyes stop watching me, looking at everything I do. MAke them stop Chad, make them stop!!!!
>>27326298
I'm looking to try and find a job somewhere seated, a deskjob or something that I can do for some more hours as that should effectively increase monthly income. It's tough to even find a simple job when all you have to show for your competence is a highschool diploma as you couldn't finish college (only having some propaedeutic diploma in Chemistry which doesn't mean much in practice) due to illness, especially at age 27 as you've become too expensive for jobs 16-year-olds can do probably just as well.
I guess my best approach would be to still just keep on applying for new jobs and hope for the best, all the while looking into something I could learn for free at home that might help; programming language or something. Sadly those things tend to take a few years to be proficient enough at it for a job(which at this moment I don't even know I'll have left to live to actually finish it), but I doubt there's an easy way to make money or all people would do that already.I was kind of hoping you might know some "trick" or what have you, something that could help avoiding investing a lot of my already very limited time with high chance of not seeing any results from it, which I understand is unlikely. But hey, figured I might as well ask, nothing to lose, right?
I hope you'll manage to help some people here, your attempts are appreciated.
>>27326428
you be 15 and get laid for the first time like OP and then a few years pass and you realize nothing has changed and the world is just shit and unfair to men because none of us would hesitate to stab each other in the back just to get laid
>>27326457
>be smoking a cigarrette
>pull up to red light
>cannot for the life of me hit it again until i get a green light and start to go becasue it feels like everyone at red light is watching me and im just being an edgy faggot for smoking
>>27326428
step 1. Stop NEETing
step 2. get the fuck off 4chan, or internet in general
step 3. find a hobby, take opportunities to try new things, find out what you like besides the internet, it can be hard.
step 4. get some education and get a job, even if its in a shitty call centre, youll hate it but hey its better than sitting on your ass do the same thing every day. This will get you some experience and slowely over a long time go up from job to job, promotion to promotion get to where you want to be, youll know when youre happy with your job. This takes effort.
step 5. Make friends from work, go out to bars and things like that. Make friends with whoever you meet.
also:
https://imgur.com/account/favorites/WaJSdR9
http://imgur.com/gallery/tXYvT
good luck
>>27326395
Please?
I swear this is an original post
>>27326610
its pretty much just a combination of being witty, humorous, and teasing the girl a bit.
in my opinion, u cant be taught game, u were either born with it or not.
>>27326395
the "game" in its root is basically keep the other on edge. Keeping them thinking about you, wanting you and wishing to be with you. Theres so many things people to do this like you said response times, people dont like to reply too quick to seem desperate for you or that they want you that much, but obviously not replying to late that they think youre not interested, doing this also says "i have better things to do than look at my phone" but not in such a pretentious way.
>>27326627
you can be taught anything, you do not come out the womb making other infants froth over you. but i do agree that it would take a while to adapt to if you really have no clue what game even is
>>27326467
do some things that look good on your resume, lots of volunteer work, internships, certificate courses etc. Show them and prove to them that you, the maturer more experienced man, can do the job way better than a nervous stumbly teenager. work on communication skills, thats a major key. Being good with working with people and great with talking to them is a so so good for work
>>27326734
im also sorry for whatever illness you have, unless its obesity then get to /fit/ dude
>>27326734
At this point doing things like internships are not really feasible unless I drop my current job which would be very unwise. Although it's part-time and only makes about enough to live off of with pretty much minimal stuff, I do have a permanent contract meaning they can't just fire me. (I doubt they suddenly would because for some reason they think I do my job very well.)
Communication skills are very important indeed, something I luckily managed to improve greatly in the past 2 years. Only close friends know I'm introverted, even at my job colleagues and employer think I'm extroverted due to the social/communicative skill. I'll be looking into the possibility of working a few more hours at my current job and see if that's physically doable, if so and after adapting to it I might look into volunteer work as well. It's something I'm actually interested in as I like helping others, so that helps.
>>27326788
Obesity is something I'll probably never have to worry about with my Cystic Fibrosis, as my body seems to practically ignore fat I consume bar the bare necessity.Pretty much ottermode though, as opposed to my past skelly mode.
Thanks man, it's nice to see I'm probably already on the right track with things.
Come on guys, really?
>>27325155
You sound even more pathetic than all posts in the catalogue combined.
Keep spouting nonsense while at the next flat party I'm sticking my dick in your bitch while you tell your next party joke.
>>27325155
Hi OP, I have autism (PDD-NOS, not the over sensitive sort, I'm less sensitive than most of you normies, and I'm practically incapable of experiencing extreme emotions)
Because this diagnosis is the same as the one oversensitive autists get, I can't join the military. Can you help me fix this?
My only other life goal is mariage, can you tell me how to find someone I can spend the rest of my life with?
can you help me find a purpose in life?
>>27325155
How do I get close with a particular girl OP?
Im 18, male and in college (UK)
Shes caught me looking at her a few times now and im pretty sure shes picked up on it. Ive also noticed that shes been dressing nicer like wearing dresses and looking more presentable.
Shes not in any of my classes and sort of nerdy. Im also pretty sure she does art or something (carries about a big folder).
How do I engage in conversation with her/gain her attention? I was thinking about doing so the other day but everytime I see her i lose concentration and my mind goes blank.
She looks a LOT like pic related but dresses different
>>27329899
Try carrying around several butt plugs and dyeing you hair an obnoxious color
Also gay bead bracelets
>>27326576
fix the first link please.
