>she died two years ago, and that was really the end of my story.
>this is some bloated epilogue I'm too much of a pussy to end.
Recommend some drugs that will give me the courage to kill myself and join my stupid whore of a oneitus in hell.
If you really loved her you would have killed yourself already. You haven't because you know you didn't have a chance with her and she was just like any other fucking girl.
Painkillers are good to help you get courage
>>27324307
I believed everybody who told me the mourning process was temporary, so I waited to "feel better"
I feel just about as shitty as the day I found out she died.
>>27324335
You've probably always felt shitty, it's not the same but I felt bad when I had a girlfriend (inb4 normie gtfo) I felt bad when she left me and I felt worse when I found out she was with someone else. Either way I feel really fucking bad, could be the same for you.
>>27324332
>painkillers
Which ones? How much? Doesnt sound like they'd work out.
>>27324393
I was happy when she was alive, I did all sorts of shit to make her laugh, and she did the same for me.
I never even realized she was the reason I tried to be funny, but now she's dead I don't give a shit about any of that.
Half of my own personality is gone forever.
>>27324473
If you're set about ending it I'll just say the only type of drug I've tried is weed and that really made me fear death, considering I was suicidal even as a kid I don't think that's the thing for you.
>>27324473
What happened? Want to talk about it?
>>27324779
She went out of state to fag school, her new pals got her hooked on drugs and social justice, then she hung herself in her closet.
And because being a callous jeering asshole was my shtick, I never ended up telling her how much she meant to me.
I basically blab about it least once a week on r9k.
>>27324473
>Half of my own personality is gone forever
shit man... Honestly at this point I'd recommend od'ing on heroin, it's pretty easy to do and you can just fade out of existence like you were going to sleep.
Hello brother, seems like you're traveling through some rough waters right now. Losing a loved one is just about the most soul-crushing event a human can experience. Your pain is completely justified. It's quite a cruel mental torture, because the endless torment of it does not come from anything that actually exists, but rather from something precisely not existing, something which should be there and is now missing. This is someone I imagine you've grown very accustomed to being around. And now, without her, it must feel like there are big gaping holes in all your household rituals, in all your peculiar habits, in all the activities that once made up your day. So I can see very clearly why you want to duck out of life. Nothing feels quite right to you, everything feels incomplete in a way, and that's not a dignified way to go on.
I'm not going to pretend that things are going to get better soon or that there's an easy solution out of this. I could ask you, "Well, would she like it if you killed yourself over her?" but that's a bit of a loaded question in my opinion, kinda forces guilt out of you in a situation that shouldn't be guided by guilt. Guilt shouldn't ever be the only thing keeping you breathing, since that's not really living at all either.
So I've got a few options for you. First one is straightforward, you could try filling in all the holes that she's left behind. This will seem like a very Sisyphean task, but you'll make progress eventually if you keep at it. Stop withdrawing from life and avoiding the pain, just keep doing what you were doing before she died even if it reminds you of her. Meet new people and take up new hobbies to fill up the empty space. That's all easier said than done, of course.
>>27325142
Other option is suicide, of course. Sometimes things get too tough and you've just got to end it. Nothing wrong with that. I would strongly recommend painkillers if you're going the overdose route. Just look up the lethal dose for some given opiate and take a bit more than that. Don't take too much though, opiates cause intense nausea in virgin users and you might puke them all up. Popping a few benzos alongside the painkillers will increase your chances of success, as will having a few swigs from a bottle of hard liquor.
The reason I'd recommend the painkiller route is that it's completely painless and the odds are good that it will actually work. Junkies are constantly killing themselves with overdoses, it's becoming like a leading cause of death in America. If you give an opiate antidote to someone overdosing, it's very common that they'll get pissed off at you for killing their nod, because they thought they were just dozing off and having a peaceful high. You don't feel like you're dying at all, you just kinda drift away. Doesn't take too long for death to come, either. So yeah, that's what I'd recommend.
>>27325050
Is heroine sold by a certain race usually?
How do I find it?
>>27324991
I still wouldn't kill myself if I were you. Nonexistance is eternal, but you can't experience the eternal rest, since you won't be there anymore. Assuming there is a hell and a heaven, and assuming suicide will make you go to hell, they won't let you see her, because you know, hell is hell. I'd go for suicide by old age, even if it is horrible and you feel like shit for the rest of your life you'll still have experienced more by the time you end up with the same result. Besides stuff might even get better (I wouldn't count on it, but it's a possibility)
