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>singing the daily hymns in assembly
>start singing "the whole world's in his hands"
>sing "the whole world's in his pants instead
>the teachers never suspected a thing
>teacher calls out correct answer of test question
>half the class: yesssssssssss
>class is being talkative
>substitute teacher looks up and puts index finger to lips
>"shhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
>say "it" under my breath and giggle
>be 6 foot when im in year 6
>in assembly
>we didnt have fucking benches for some reason
>kids go up to the front of the assmbly
>as they walk past me, they put their fucking hands on my head
>every fucking kid goes for me because i am so tall
>make sure to keep my legs stretched out as far as possible, and always dodge my head away from their hands
>so many kids fucking tripped over my legs and looked fucking stupid
I dunno why kids have to hold on to someone's head to walk through people. I never did, and I was taller than everyone else.
>in assembly
>have to sing every fucking day
>really can't be assed after a little while
>just mime the lyrics badly as i hum a song to myself
fuck u. u cant make me
>perfect kid
>one day i have to write my name on the board for something stupid i did
>cry infont of everyone
desu
>the religious kids who were taken out of assembly before hymns
fuck you nathan and lauren we know you got up to some shit outside the hall on your own
>girls get a party during class with chocolate and fizzy drinks
>all the boys have to do a test in silence whilst this is going on.
Fuck you Mr Mcallister, you cunt.
>>27310684
Year 4 Burton wiped his ass on the wall and flushed another kids coat down the toilet after pissing on it...
He was a grimey beta slimelord desu...
>>27310864
I'm a teacher and I prowl the lines during assembly and make them sing.
I had to sing fucking Christian hymns, they get to sing normal(ish) songs, its progress and they can deal with it.
>last day of school before 6 weeks summer holiday
>everyone gets to bring in a toy from home
>bring in a 2 player game called Backfire
>tfw no wants to play it with you
>>27311166
I remember all the other kids had game boy advance sps and I didn't want to bring anything in out of embarrassment
>>27311390
Yep, all the 10 year old chads brought in their Gameboys and gamed on them on a big table outside our classroom.
>had to walk past them to get to toilets
>pretend not to be bothered i dont have a GB
>get in toilets and cry
>>27311390
>game boy advance sps
fucking embryo get the fuck of my board
reeeeeeeeeee
>>27311166
This made me really sad for some reason.
>tfw heartbeat comes on tv
>suddenly realise it's Sunday and school is tomorrow
I hate that show because it meant going to bed early.
>be me about 7
>shit myself in class
>no way i could go to the toilet without being found out
>start wiggling in my seat to try get it out my trouser leg
>pretty much just mushing shit all over my ass
>someone asks what's that smell
>gotta act fast
>get a good ball of shit out of my leg
>try to kick it across the room
>it just disintegrates
>kid next to me notices
>sent home covered in shit
>another time when i was 17 in class
>shit myself
>decide the only course of action is to fake a heart attack
>fall on the ground
>hear someone say 'what the fuck'
>teacher does nothing
>get up and slowly walk out leaking shit
>>27311166
I would never bring a toy in
the only people who would bring toys in would either be playing pokemon on gameboy or were disabled and brought in a massive half broken toy piece of trash and would play by themselves
I used to just hang around the young stacey's because that was the only point in my life I was popular
>mfw dated the hottest girl in school when I was 10
>>27311802
>stories about shitting
why are arcanines so incontinent?
i just want to clean you guys up when you poop yourselves
this deathtrap
>playing in Yu-Gi-Oh tournament that the school organised
>the prize was a cake and you got to miss a lesson to help bake it
>Nobody knew I had been practicing card tricks for a long time
>they let us shuffle our own decks
>shuffle so that all the pieces of Exodia would be drawn within the first 5 turns
>pulled all pieces of exodia 4 times and never got caught
>cake tasted of sweet victory
>assembly
>every day
>not once a week
Did you all go to fucking catholic schools or what
>>27312040
We had assemblies almost everyday, but would probably only do hymns at 2 or 3 of them.
>>27311982
Why does everyone I know have a story about getting to use this once and then never again cause of health and safety? We used ours at least a couple of times a year.
>>27311982
Never once used those in any school. We had them in the sports hall in primary and in secondary school. Never touched them. Not a single PE class had use for them.
We only used the climbing ropes once.
Maybe they kept it exclusively for PE at GCSE level.
>in assembly
>have to sing "who built the ark? noah, noah"
>sing "who built the ark? no one, no one" instead
>the teachers never suspected a thing
fuck the system
>>27311038
Holy shit you just reminded me of girls getting to pick first food on party day, girls getting to use the only changing room on pe lessons while we had to get changed in the classroom infront of the female teacher
>>27312104
Literally never once used them.
We used to climb on them all the time but never actually used them for lessons.
>in hymn practise on Wednesday morning
>Sing Hosannah
>Sing Hosannah
>Sing Hosannah to the king
>silence
>then some cheeky cunt has to go
>of kings
Well I got raped by a paki when I was 8 and I'm a guy fuck life M8's
>tfw when my school banned everything fun because one retard would complain over something
Fucking loved playing Yugioh and Beyblades
>>27311860
>class brings in ds's
>play mariokart
>different classes have tournaments
>other class down a player
>Chad makes me go on their team
>play shit so other class loses because I'm a good little cuck
>have to sing hymn in morning assembly
>'I am the lord of the dance said he' becomes I am the lord of the KFC
>entire year missed first break
>>27312281
Same thing happened to our school with yo-yo's.
>>27312300
>female teacher going full retard over conkers
I think having shit women teachers messed me up
>>27312246
another hymn practise one, Wednesday morning was the fucking worst.
>I won some bullshit writing competition with some shitty "horror" story I wrote when i was like 8 or 9
>one of my prizes was picking the first hymn we sung
>pick "Lord of the dance" because it was a upbeat song and i was a fucking child who didn't give a shit what we sang
>this stupid cunt bullies me for like 2 weeks because I didn't pick "the bell of creation"
Fuck you Jason, you've got 6 kids with your fat, disgusting mrs and you work in a sports direct and you're nearly 30.
Bully me now you cunt
>>27312343
at least he has a mrs :))
>playing British bulldog
>big guy 4u
>girl who is it runs into me
>she Falls to ground
>keep running cos don't want to be caught
>next day in maths
>old haggard teacher comes in
>tells me infront of everyone I broke grills shoulder
>awkward silence
>put head down on desk
>teacher awkwardly continues lesson after interruption
>already bottom of the chain but this was the crowning price of shit on my crumpet
>run into boys toilets
>no idea what a urinal is
>ask the boys in the toilet if I can try one
>MFW I sat on the piss soaked urinal
>>27312300
The yo-yo craze was so tedious.
>>27312236
Just reminded me of late on in school when we had to do pe on our underwear
Tfw strangely arousing
>be in p.e.
>zipper gets stuck on willy
>crying in pain
>she had to undo it
>she touched my willy and put my pants back on
>had my first lewd thoughts that night
>imagined being under her skirt with my friend (lol)
>rubbed my knob and tingled hard
pic unrelated
>>27312389
And that's the story of how anon got herpes.
>>27312139
only used them a couple of times
once the crash-mats and benches came out you knew shit was about to real
>>27311802
fuken kek
>>27311982
>that once a year moment when you are allowed to use the apparatus and giant rainbow parachute
>>27312458
>that bench
Why do the benches look identical across almost all schools? Was there just one single gym equipment factory in the country that supplied every school?
>>27312438
>be me in ict
>teacher doesn't let me go to toilet
>piss myself
>qt supply teachers takes me to store room
>takes pants and underwear off
>dries up piss
>pits new kegs on me
Feels food tbqh
i believe british school life and education is completely unique and a character building experience, one we all should be grateful for
>>27312375
You wouldn't say that if you saw her.
He doesn't recognise me since I was always a short arse at school and now I'm 6'3" and have a beard, but we go in the same pub. He still tries the same hard man act he did at school but now everyone just treats him like a joke.
His Mrs is like 20 stone and he does nothing but talk about how much he hates her and the kids when he's had a few beers.
>worst football player in my class
>always picked last
>literally never passed to
>had to essentially tackle my teammates if i wanted the ball
>ball drops to me on a nice bounce
>volley it top right past some big guy for you keeper
>celebrating like an absolute madman
>MFW some insecure cunt claimed that the ball deflected off him so he technically scored
All his friends sided with him too. But the shot was out of this fucking world bros
>>27312343
>bullied because you didnt choose a hymn the guy liked
wew lad what a time to be alive
>>27312589
I believe you lad.
There was always some cunt who couldn't take seeing anyone else do well
anyone else get that one special assembly once a term where some jesus freak dude came and told some random bible story? We always had the same guy who had Jesus magnets that he'd stick to a board with felt backgrounds and at the end he'd always stick a cross on the board and tell us that he died for our sins.
>>27312503
most new schools were built after the war
and every bench was made by the british bench corporation
>>27312589
>had to essentially tackle my teammates if i wanted the ball
>tackle my teammates
If you were a character in NFL Game Day 98 or some shit, I'd pick you first, you'd be my nigga. I loved tackling some teammates and the referee.
>>27312598
What is this, 1907?
Tfw we still used chalk boards in 2000
>>27312438
Damn that reminds me....
>Be in PE
>Literally lowest set (grade level/group)
>Javelin throwing
>Welp I guess my wimpy arms will fail me
>BBC niggas and hench dudes do well
>Wimpy guys fail abysmally
>My turn
>Fuck it, the technique isn't rocket science, if i just angle it right... not like I can embarrass myself further
>I literally smash it.
>teacher is shocked, a face i'll never forget in my life
>he puts me in set 1 for the remainder of javelin after a few more throws (so its not a fluke)
>earnt the respect of my peers in set 1 (who were literally nigger bullies) and didn't get teased, except for bantz
Honest to god truth. I felt so high at that moment in life. Ofc everything went downhill but things could've been far worse.
In hindsight maybe all that wanking strengthened my arm. Who knows.
>>27312641
>jesus is kewl posters all of over school
>some pedo looking fuck comes in with a skateboard with a cross on it
>lame assembly about sunday school
>hands out bibles to every kid
>people threw them at each other and ripped them up for spitballs
must've broke that mans heart
>>27310784
Holy mother of kek I thought I was the only one who did that.
>>27312677
You were born to be a roman soldier. One of the weedy guys at the back, hurling pila over the tortoise.
I know you've seen it in your dreams.
>>27312641
Holy shit yes.
We always had the same guy do it too. The same one who came around harvest festival time too and told us to bring in cans.
He was a reverend or a father or vicar or some bollocks (don't know the difference)
He was also the dad of the smuggest cunt in our year. Joseph Huffton.
Just his name is the name of smug, self righteous bastard.
He used to stand up there with his dad and tell us about how amazing Jesus was and then try and convert us at playtime.
>>27312641
We had the church guy from down the road, he was a jolly fat guy who just sat on his ass eating biscuits until it was his turn to talk, he would've made a great Father Christmas to be fair. But instead it was the janitor who did that.
>once a year pantomime from amateur hack actors in the school hall
OH NO HE ISNT
>>27312731
>doing about Romans in year 3
>have to make romantic Shields and paint them
>all the boys in my class get into tortoise formation and march around the yard
Et tu feelus tbq honetus
>>27312343
>6 kids
just imagine having sex 6 times he must be so happy
>Secondary school
>Achievement ceremony
>Fatt landwhale english teacher collapses and breaks desk she was sitting on
>ENTIRE assembly including teachers begin roaring with laughter
>She left 2 weeks later
Trust me lads she was extremely fat.. That event will be passed down for generations of kids there. Legendary.
>one of your classmates has come back from holiday and they've been nice enough to bring you all some sweets
>growing up in England
>headmaster toys with my bellend every single day
Was rather enjoyable once I got used to it desu
>school disco
>all the boys and girls stand on separate sides of the school hall
>ask a girl if she wants to go out
>she laughs and says no
>her friends throw tango on my brand new total 90s
>cant buy any space invaders cos mum didnt give me 30p
>decide to bail out of there and go to the school computer
>play chips challenge while soaking in pop and needing a weewee while everyone else has fun dancing to steps and s-club7
from the start i was destined to fail
>be about 7 years old
>peeing at the urinal with my pants and trousers around my ankles like Butters did because brought up by single mother and didn't know any better
>some older boys come in and start laughing and pissing over my legs and feet
>freeze in terror
>33 now and still can't squeeze a drop at a urinal if there's another guy in the room
>>27312826
>that substitute teacher that would give the class sweets
>she opens a tub of these
>>27312837
>headmaster
that's what you get you posh prick
Lmao in primary school we ran a fight club at the back of the playground behind the sheds. I got knocked the fuck out by a chubby yugoslavian refugee i'll never forget, he was too heavy to drop to the ground.
It was 1 on 1 fights though, not full on brawls.
Fight club must've been released recently or something, and someone watched it. I didn't even know about the movie until my late teens.
>>27311798
Holy fuck I know that feel, as soon as the intro came on I'd feel panic.
>>27311798
I've been a NEET for 12 years now and I STILL despise Sundays and get miserable on them because of this shit
Fucking Heartbeat
>>27310684
>Sing as loudly as I can
>"He's got the plants and the creatures in his pants"
>"He's got everybody here in his pants"
>Thrown out of my uncles funeral
>>27311983
>having all 5 pieces of exodia
Is this supposed to be bait?
>>27311111
woah
this is not original ofc
>>27312458
>>27312503
TFW I had to sit on the end with my arse on those two uncomfortable button things. Fuck my life.
>>27312880
>space invaders
Remember when they were 10p for about 30 years until 2007 and they raised it to 15p and the makers of space invaders received death threats?
I love this fucking country
>>27312589
>worst football player
>play football in pe
>cunts on your team make you go in goals every time because nobody ever wants to go in goals
>obviously shit at it
>everyone gets mad when you let goals in
What did you expect you bunch of cunts, all you had to do was put me in defense so i could stay out of everyones way
>>27313013
We just can't get our priorities right, can we.
>>27312646
>british bench corporation
>be me, 9-10 years old at primary school disco
>start dancing for the first time ever with a friend
>other kids see me and join me
>get a prize from the dj for my dancing
>I'd never danced before but I was really into it
>kept doing the same fucking retarded dance throughout the entire disco, it wasn't even a good dance looking back I remember just flailing around like a tard
>some teenage girls were sat near me and were filming me on their shitty 2006 flip phones
>thought this was cool at the time, that I'd be famous or something
>realize in hindsight if this had happened in 2016, they'd have probably uploaded it to youtube or facebook or some shit and I'd be shamed for dancing like a retard
>the cringiest part is that I kept dancing alone after all my friends left and there was no music playing and people were leaving and the janitors were fucking mopping up
I felt like a god in the moment though lads, I won't lie
>art class
>draw a really beautiful 3d room
>everyone's impressed.... possibly envious?
>sick for 2 days
>return to school to collect art and show mummy
>its been defaced with SEX written all over it
>i start crying, "WHO DID THIS?"
>teacher asks class, nobody confesses
>mummy says we'll make another at home
>I literally go full REEEEEE and scream "FUCK YOU ALLLLLL"
That day I never trusted another person again. Not even my "friends".
My pessimism stems from that moment in time.
>>27313087
British people are complete Nihilists. They don't give a fuck about anything at all. Then when they find something a little annoying, they blow it out of proportion and send death threats like a bunch of autists.
>>27313041
Keeper was the only position I could play decently, probably because I was always put there for being a shit outfield player.
You're in a lose/lose situation. Either you let a goal in and everyone's mad at you or you let the ball smash into your body at high speed and have to deal with the pain. And if you save goals, the people start striking the ball harder so you're just fucking your whole world up for the sake of a shitty PE football game
>Tfw big guy for you
>loser kid comes into lads toilets
>hold his hand under the dryer until it burns
>flush his head in the toilet
>waterboard him under tap
>"petrol pump" him (holding him down, putting a knee on his bicep and cranking the arm like a petrol pump, was absolute medieval tier tbqh)
>nuggie him to fuck
>find out he's actually adopted and never knew his parents
Survival of the fittest
>TFW you were bullied so much that you spiral into a state of pity by thinking about being younger
I miss my grandma so much
>shit at PE
>always picked last
>play cricket
>they have some rule that if the bat touches the ball, you MUST run
>I'm doing really well, have a ton of runs. Been batting for ages. Maybe people will stop picking me last from now on?
>chav cunt comes on as the second batsman
>they bowl to him, it barely touches his bat, the ball drops right next to the wicket, and he starts running to my side
>I stay still because the chav fucked up, not me
>they obviously knock down the wicket in like 1 or 2 seconds
>everyone bitches at me and tells me I'm out
Hope they all get cancer tbfh
>that one kid who stole your james bond trading cards, jackie chan talismans and crazy bones
fuck you jordan i know it was you kunt
>it's an "onward christian soldiers" episode
>singing that 'i was cold i was naked were you there' hymn, in year 2
>year 2 was the only year we got our own hymn book with lyrics
>mind blown by the word naked being in the song, find it mega funny, start showing everyone either side of me mid-hymn
>run out of people to show, so prop the book next to me on my leg so people can see if they're glancing around, don't want anyone to miss out on seeing the word naked
got pulled out of assembly and had to stand outside staff room all lunch, just like every fucking lunch time at primary school. reeee why didn't they understand how funny it was that it said naked
>>27313140
>that one cunt who would actually aim at you when he got near the goal instead of trying to score
>can't get out the way without everyone getting mad at you
>have books on desk in primary school cause that's where we kept them instead of bringing them in every day, no lockers.
>make fortes and garages out of them with toy cars and soldier
>make skateparks and ramps for those finger skateboards
Man it was the shit
>>27313144
Does this happen in other countries?
I can remember one lunch afternoon when I was in year 8 just before the end of year. I looked over to one corner of the yard and there is like 30 ginger kids. Turns out that all the hard kids in Year 11 were rounding up all the gingers as a final hurrah before they left.
Still laughing.
>>27313139
>anglos
>logic
>>27313094
That's not cringe, that's being a fucking absolute mad man!
once i tripped my mate over in front of a girl for the giggles. he went geek berserker chasing me. i legged it to the toilets (ground floor), locked myself in the cubicle and slipped out the window kek. nobody found out it was me, the designated monkey kid who liked climbing trees had to monkey under the cubicle door on the pissy floor to unlock it.
>>27311798
>tfw young-wanked to the barmaid off heartbeat wearing a 60s chequer dress
>>27311982
we had a big blue metal one that pulled out from the wall, had big rings and a rope on it and stuff. looked like summat off kink.com
>the girls were impressed by your tech deck skills and LOTR warhammers
>spend my pocket money on a pirated busted cd from some paki at the car boot
>give it to girl during lunch
>she goes out with me
>going out means sometimes talk to each other at break time
it was a simpler time
>>27312641
A guy used to do that who actually looked dike jesus. He had long hair and didn't wear shoes
anyone else have to do country dancing in PE? we only did it one year, like maybe year 4.
>grab your partner and dosey doe
fuck off i hate vicky i ent dancing with her
Post some /DEVILISH/ feels from infant/primary school, lads (can't post the actual devil because fucking duplicate files exist here)
>fizzy drinks were banned in school and you'd get rammed in the ass for even being seen with them
>would excuse myself from class to 'go to the toilet' but would actually glug Irn Bru from my bag and come back in to class with the biggest shit eating grin on my face
>would constantly fake being sick at the end of assembley to avoid being apart of the daily ass blast that my headmaster gave to all the classes when one person had misbehaved
>near the end of year 6
>getting hyped as fuck for secondary school
>some football tournament gets set up between all local primary schools
>best kid in our school is made captain and gets to make his own team
>do shit at the tryouts
>really wanted to get in the team so I could meet kids from the other schools so the move to secondary school would be less awkward
>get told that the team sheet hasn't been made but I've not made the cut
>tell the captain that I know he's going to fail his maths SATs without tutoring
>offer to tutor the guy for free if he puts me in as a striker
>he actually does it
>teach the kid some stuff but he's not really paying attention
>whatever, I got what I want so i'm happy
>day of the tournament
>people keep passing to me as if they forgot how bad I am at the game
>fuck our whole team's shit up with my carelessness and lack of skill
>manage to score a whopping 4 own goals in all the games we played
>caused the biggest embarrassment for our school in years
>dead last in the football rankings
>kids from all other schools are laughing at me
>jump to a few months later in secondary school
>some kid comes up to me
>"hey I know you, you were the kid who can't play football"
>"haha yeah that's me"
>"hey let's hang out"
>still friends with the guy 10 years later
>our school captain failed his maths SATs and continue to fail at every other exam he ever took
>
>school banned pogs because people would get into fights over it
Fucking Nazis. I dominated that playground with my OP metal kinis
>Christmas nativity scene
>I'm a reindeer with like 8 other people in my class
>We are meant to stand in a line on stage and shake our bells and sing rudolph the red nosed reindeer
>All sat next to the stage on stools with our bells in our laps
>Walk up on stage, im on the end
>Start to sing and shake my bells
>Realise i left my fucking bells under my stool
>Just move my hands up and down like I had them anyway
>>27313308
>primary school had just built a 100,000 quid extension for the Year 6s
>my year 6 group was the first to use it
>everyone said who is the biggest /madman/ in the class
>I said "Watch this"
>Got out a drill, and drilled a hole right into the brand new walls
>best friends grassed me up
>teachers were super pissed
Loving every laugh.
>>27312641
lol yeh, it was usually this vicar 'father julian' at ours. or one of the weirder cunt vicars with finger puppets and shit. nonces
>>27311860
>Bakugan were THE shit for a bit
>brought mine in, played with them and put them back into my backpack
>dirty spic named Eliot raided my backpack when he was in the hallway and stole them
>I figured out it was Eliot
>tell teacher there was a kid stealing out of people's backpacks, he is a lazy cunt and doesn't do anything about it
>go to recess, kick the absolute shit out of dirty spic Eliot's shins
>still feel good to this day, but I wish I could have gotten my bakugan back :(
>>27313389
I feel like no other country has this mentality
>had this board in class in primary where you would be moved up and down based on your behaviour
>can't fully remember how it worked but I think it was based on football rules or something
>if you misbehaved you'd get moved to Divison 1, then 2, then 3, then finally you'd be Relegated
>If you got relefated then this was seen as the worst thing, It meant you got a letter sent to your parents about your behaviour
>one day at school it's fancy dress, probably Halloween
>I dress as Darth Vader, feel like a top fucking geezer
>forget my red lightsaber in the car
>fuck
>I must have been being a little shit because I got relegated that day
>upon being relegated I broke down crying, wearing a Darth Vader costume with the mask and everything in front of the whole class
got damn that day fucking sucked
>>27313389
Where did you get a drill in year 6
All Things Bright and Beautiful
>All things dull and ugly
The Lord of the Dance
>The Lord of the Pants
>>27312246
Sing Hosanna is troll tier. I don't think I ever heard the school sing it without fucking up - intentionally or otherwise - even once.
I work as a Teaching Assistant in a local primary school. Kids these days are just into youtube and vine.
It's not the same
>football stickers got banned because of all the thieving
>me and my friends set up a detective agency where we went around the school to investigate who was stealing them, trying to keep tabs on who had the rare stickers
>mfw it was me stealing them the whole time
>>27313446
It was in a cupboard along the wall near some storage boxes
Health and safety must have been a little laxer back in those days
I pledge allegiance to the FAG
>>27313418
>Bakugan
you have to be over 18 to post here
>>27313461
I blame Minecraft
i actually had a loli gf at primary school in about year 5 or 6. pale, black hair, wore little pinnafore. she must have been in like year 2 or 3. we didn't do anything sexual, we'd just hang out together at break and sometimes hold hands, or i'd motion for her to come hug me and then push her over when she tried. it's weird cos i came out pretty normal, had plenty of gfs, not a pedo, and at primary school i was moderately popular and sporty. i remember it clearly but i can't place it among everything else i did at school.
>tfw spent morning break of last day of year 6 holding hands with her silently under a rain shelter on playground
>>27313097
this is how robots are created
i bet the person who did that posts here too, ironically
>>27313484
WHY CAN YOU POST THAT DEVIL BUT NOT ME?
>calling 0800 28 29 30
>someone brings in huge stack of pokemon cards
>seriously must be 200 of them
>everyone knows he has the best cards
>got a charizard and everything
>someone runs up
>swings their arm up and knocks them into the air
>SCRAMBLE
>every child turns absolutely fucking feral and desperately tries to claim as many cards as possible
>he stands there and cries
>>27313517
Everytime the kids get hold of an IPad, theyre on minecraft. They watch minecraft videos on youtube nonstop. Primary school is just memes nowadays.
Every day I hear a kid say "Deez nuts". Drives me and the teacher fucking insane
>year 2
>hanging with cool girl
>show her my pee pee and she shows my her tup tup
>that was the first and last time I saw a vagina
I love these threads they are great
>be in ICT class
>on paint using the stamps because I'm an artist
>friend next to me says I keep looking at this girl
>"you like her don't you anon"
>sh-shut up
>punch him in the stomach
funny thing is that I did this exact same thing to him in year 11. this first one was year 6
>>27313570
I feel sad now
oc
>somehow truth got out that i fancied Kiri, girl in our class in year 3
>hid in the cubicle so i couldn't be questioned about it
>next day everyone's forgotten because children are mongs
after that i never, ever admitted to anyone that i fancied a girl because i couldn't handle the shame of it getting out
>tfw really good at football but never got picked for the school team because I was nerdy and unpopular
The coach has (probably literally) a hard-on for the jock types. He'd pick an average jock player over a good nerdy player any day. Still pisses me off to this day
>>27313420
>civilised
>>27313622
>coach
>jock
YANKS OUT
Seriously though, it's pathetic how these middle aged losers try and be friends with children.
>>27313639
I'm English m8, just couldn't think of the British equivalent to jock.
The same school hired two paedo teachers in the space of 3 years too.
>>27313532
>>tfw spent morning break of last day of year 6 holding hands with her silently under a rain shelter on playground
Jesus. Right in the god damned feels.
>have to do anything on the computers
YOU KNOW WHAT KINDA TITLE I'M PICKING
Anyone else watch "Fourway's Farm"?
I just googled the name now because I always thought it was Fallways Farm, but apparently it's not.
>>27313707
i googled her once, improbably remember her name. just like every other girl from the shithole i grew up in, she was a mum by 17. stay-at-home mum now. i still remember how she'd run to me with her arms out for a hug and i'd push her over and she'd look all sad and pick herself off the floor. pure bliss m8
>>27313714
third row, third in from left. green one with the echo stamp behind it. every. time. true patrician taste.
I actually think one of my primary school teachers infected me with social retardation.
>walking around yard one day just talking to whoever passed my way
>did this a lot because it was comfy
>one day in class about to go for break
>"okay everyone, will someone be really nice and let anon play with them? I've noticed he's been a little lonely at break times"
>what the fuck
>some dude who was actually pretty cool said I can chill with him
>playing tig
>i'm it
>counting to 100 against a wall
>arms covering head and eyes closed so I don't know where the kids ran off to
>finish counting and get ready to find them
>see my teacher looking down at me with pity in here eyes
>"hey anon, don't be upset, we'll find you a friend
>had no idea what to say so I just went with it
>she called me out for being lonely for like a week until someone finally said that I hang around with people all the time
>all my class started looking at me with a little bit of pity since that week
>I wasn't even lonely
That shit fucked me up
>>27313745
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
YOU RUINED THAT GIRL
She just wanted to be held.
>>27313766
Impeccable taste in word art my friend
I'd go that one or the one below it, if i wanted to make a statement that is
>>27313741
>Fourway's Farm
yeah mate, you watch animals of farthing wood? budgie the lil helicopter?
what about that fucking weird Zap show, the one aimed at deaf kids? that was avant garde
>>27313745
this post makes me feel really sad.
almost suicidal
>getting Tesco vouchers so the school could buy a new Acorn computer
>>27313812
good choice my man, i can see the one below it being strong for like, 'suede are the greatest band ever' powerpoint circa 1999
>>27310951
me too. don't feel bad.
It's okay.
>>27313815
Is it the transition form innocent cute girl who wants hugs to degenerate Stacy slut?
Happens to them all.
>about year 5
>working out how many people are in front of me at lunch to see if i will get any syrup sponge
>realise ill be the last one and get all of the syrup and cake crumbs mush at the bottom
>fat farmer cunt behind me
>says "can you save me some cake"
>im next in line
>"syrup sponge pls"
>"sorry none left"
>clearly a load of syrup left
>farmer cunt gets all of my mush
i fucking hated him. i was seriously angry for weeks
>>27313824
ahhh the acorn computer with the maze game. i remember the school levelling up around year 6 to a proper PC. at lunch we'd take turns to go on wwf.com
>>27313714
using any of them in the last row is an early sign of degeneracy
>>27313856
I think I only used the ones in the last row
![[ANE] Ore no Imouto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai - Ep02 [BDRip 720p x264 Vorbis].mkv_snapshot_19.37_[2015.01.02_20.24.59].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Xkka25i.jpg "[ANE] Ore no Imouto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai - Ep02 [BDRip 720p x264 Vorbis].mkv snapshot 19.37 [2015.01.02 20.24.59]")
sorry my story about pushing the sweet girl upset you lads. i guess the nasty edge she cultivated is how i've managed to be a worthless piece of shit loser and still have gfs. if it helps with the imagination, although i'm sure it's been distorted by time and bad memory, she looked a lot like kuro from oreimo.
>primary school had a "library"
>it was actually just a large room with a few tables, some low bookcases and a computer desk for checking in and out books
>was elected to be a "librarian" with my best friend in year 6
>got to sit in the library after lunch every Friday with him
>Friday afternoons were reading time, so people would come to the library to check in their books and pick up other ones
>got to use a cool scanner and everything
>even had a proper metal badge that said "librarian" on it
>would spend hours just talking about Pokemon and helping people check out their books, and put the old ones back on the shelves
Unironically the happiest time of my life.
>>27313900
Fuck you Chad.
Seriously. You should be ashamed of yourself.
>>27313592
>went on a school trip to cricket ground at end of year 6
>way home on coach with everyone on their DS pictochat
>girl asks if I like her
>panic.png
>said she was cool
>ds ran out of power
>never spoke of it again
I'm gonna post like 1 or 2 more stories because I'm bored and loving this primary school revisit
remember stink bombs?
that was me
>>27313932
>defending roasties
Leave
>>27313094
>final school disco of primary school
>horsey posh girl asks me to dance seeing as we'd spent a lot of time together recently
>get nervous and say no
>end up leaving early
now I fap to traps and shitpost all day. I had a chance and I fucked it desu. I think I saw her on the bus the other week too.
>>27310684
>That kid who kept leaving shit covered underwear in the toilets
Did any of you find the culprit?
>Putting water in your hair to make it spikey during lunch time
>>27313932
what kind of chad foregoes sport and socialising to sit at breaks and hold hands with a year 2? i didn't turn her into a degenerate, our environment did. pretty much every girl from my primary school ended up a teen mum.
>>27313745
>girl you fancy all throughout year 3 to 11 got fucked by some 28year old scruffy cunt at 17 and got up the duff
>shes a mum of two
>life is probably shit
like tears in the rain, anon.
it hurts
>British thread
>it's not riddled with spelling mistakes
>>27312589
Literally reminds me of the time in highschool when i was playing hockey (The only sport i was good at) and some kid literally fell over in front of me (like a fucking ruler's length away from me) and then claimed i tripped him up to get me a detentionyeah i was the keeper, and i was the the fucking goodie-too-shoes
>playing british bulldog
>last one left in the game
>do a heroic sprint to the other side
>everyone looking in awe as you squeeze through waves of kid trying to grab you
>end of break whistle rings before you're caught
>>27313961
as an extension to this, my 'childhood sweetheart' was a girl called anna. our parents were mates from work, and after school i'd go to anna's house until my mum was done with work. i remember playing aladdin on mega drive there, watching crypt keeper, and also once shitting myself and managing to keep it secret. anyway, she ended up fancying me by year 6 and tried to kiss me on the cheek on the year 6 adventure trip. i fancied a different girl who didn't like me though. anyway, she had two kids by sixteen and her facebook said she was hoping for her third. she was fake tanned to fuck and looked a dog.
>>27313999
This shit is serious.
British school was so...idk, you have to have experienced it to know what's it's like
>>27313956
I have my suspicions to this day: that sweaty fat boy or the one who continued to shit himself up to 1st year of high school
>>27311111
wonone1wunun
wowzers
anyone else play 1-2-3-and in?
anyone remember how, when you saw somebody lingering close to the base instead of hiding properly, everyone started jeering, 'EGG LAYER, EGG LAYER' lmfao. the sheer culture of shame around it
>>27314043
Found ours, was a fat, curry haired black kid named jordell. Was one of 3 non Whites in my year
>>27314032
Same can be said about any countries school system.
Maybe not America because it's so varied, but I'm sure the French or the Germans have their own school feels that everyone can relate to
Did you bongs ever use this? Or the little cart with four wheels you sat on?
>>27312502
what the fuck is the apparatus
>>27313433
You don't fucking relegate Darth Vader.
>>27314080
we played cat and mouse under that fucker, it was weird as
>That goal doesn't count, you were tip lining!
>in year 4
>class full of shitty little bastards
>teacher had a little book where she gave people stars
>10 people with the most at the end of the day got a little chocolate bar
>cunt called Kayleigh Merrill gets to count up the stars at the end of most of the lessons
>lies and gets her and her friends to get them every day
>teacher never says a word because it at least made her more good than before
I was so happy when she got nits and everyone took the piss out of her for weeks.
>>27313943
last one. I've got alot more stories about high school but thats not for this thread
>playing football in our shitty playground
>literally concrete that they couldn't change for some reason
>it was also on a hill
>better players would always shoot downhill making my life as goalkeeper hell
>one day I pull off a blinder and my team actually wins 2-1 (first time we had won in a while)
>since this was before school started we then went to assembly
>other team desperately want me on their side for breaktime match
>decline because I'm loyal to the shitters
We also chased a fat polish kid around some apparatus saying he liked this other fat polish girl and he went full rage mode. I also swore at a lunchlady and people starting thinking I was well 'ard. she lives relatively near me and still hates my mum for defending me
>>27310684
Fucking devilish get this madman outta here
>>27314088
you didnjt call it the apparatus? we did here too, and im not that guy. only time i ever really heard the word, weirdly
>>27314115
Kayleigh is always a stupid Stacy slag
>playing heads down, thumbs up
>keep eyes open the whole time and look at people's shoes
>do the biggest lean imaginable to look around the desk and check everyone's shoes
>>27313420
It's the punk rock mentality.
Other countries tried to do punk but they just couldn't get it as well as brits.
guy with loli gf here, my school actually had a sizeable deaf unit - like a big portacabin where a bunch of deaf kids had lessons. because of this i grew up thinking deaf people were really common, and i've pretty much never met another one and i'm almost 27. they ran the gamut; there was dan, who was basically normal but couldnt hear too well even with his hearing aid and talked in a really muffled voice. then there was natalie, who was like a feral child and just made 'nangyakn mangn' kinda noises. she had behaviour issues. then there was james. he was FULLY feral. if you stuck your little finger out at him he'd squeal and go on a violent rampage. i remember this bully with the second name 'bloodworth' (cant make it up) shouting at all of us, and james appeared behind him and threw him to the ground by his FACE. he was mental
>>27314155
golden retriever girl
>>27313172
You got ran out, they were right- its why you have to be like- dont run fuckhead
>>27313845
That shit was ambrosia. Nectar of the gods.
Speaking of ambrosia, they definitely made the best rice pudding.
>be 10 or so
>fable 1 the lost chapters is my shit
>kid who sits next to me is basically proto-eggman, ugly bald fuck
>asks to borrow it to see if he should ask his dad for it
>oblige, sure bro check this shit out, don't I remind you of jack of blades senpai, edgy as hell
>he thinks it's cool and asks his dad for a copy
>few weeks later he thinks he's fully versed on all things fable
>I'm talking about it to a girl called hannah, she can't get past that first bandit chief boss
>about to tell her the secret to the fight
>protoegg butts in yelling "I KNOW I KNOW"
>literally cucked at 10yo
they started 'going out' though we all know what that means. he went on a supervised date with his mum.
a few days passed and he slapped her in the playground. she was pretty unfazed but he felt so bad he ran off crying and hid in the school bathroom. I had to get him because I was his 'best friend'
no hard feelings hannah, fuck you though protoegg, I see your rank stoner ass skulking around town.
>>27314160
epic heads down thumbs up lifehack m8
i remember heads down thumbs up being so cosy. all quiet and muffled with ur head in your arms, see a little shoe and get ur thumb touched. very comfy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G090ju-DpqU
pod can pop
>>27313293
I think some civil servant at OFSTED went rogue and put country dancing on the ciriculum
fuck me, people talking about DS and fable in fucking primary school makes me feel old as. i'm only 26 fuck off
anyone play the game where someone would put their head against the wall and a teacher would silently point at someone in the class to say a phrase in a funny voice? If the person who had their head against the wall could identify who said it, they got to go again, if not the person who said it got to put their head against the wall.
>>27310684
>daily hymns
>assembly
Is this some catholic school stories thread? Wtf is an assembly
>>27314323
nah, but we played DONKEY where if you were the goalie when 6 people had been hit in the legs with the ball you had to face the wall and get the ball booted at the back of your head lol. one kid got beaned right on the bonce and cracked his head on the wall and went hospital
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wTl3Sx156k
bruh
>>27314334
Church of England had this as well
>>27314334
>British
>Not knowing what an assembly is
How the fuck did you go 18+ years without knowing this shit mate, doubt you're even british
>>27314334
most primary schools, at least back in the early 90s, were church of england schools. this meant daily assembly, hymns, visits to the church for festivals and harvest, lord's prayer being recited by all the kids in assembly.
>>27314064
you mean aki paki 1-2-3?
it got banned in my school because the muslim kid kept complaining that he always had to be it.we kept playing it but pretended to be playing tag and just said paki really quietly >:^)
>>27314000
>>27314043
>high school
This is a British thread, JFs please go.
>>27312502
Holy fuck the aparatus, you didn't happen to go to a school in south london did you?
>>27314357
>>27314358
>>27314369
I'm American
This is an original post
>>27314390
My high school was literally called "(Town) High School"...
>>27314145
We used to call it apparatus as well
>>27313900
>she looked a lot like kuro from oreimo.
I sincerely hope you get hit by car. You made her this way anon, I hope you know that.
Fucking piece of shit normalfags holy shit.
>>27314160
I was never picked in any game of heads down thumbs up ever
>>27314391
we called it apparatus and i'm from somerset.
>>27314387
dunno lol. 123 and in is when you all peg it quite a long way off, and a guy counts in one spot. he goes looking, and you have to get to the spot where he counted and yell '123 and in'. if he beats you there... you're fucked mate
>>27314404
>My high school
Stop
>>27314406
>literally defending whores
Fuck off back to plebbit or tumblr
>>27311798
or Londons Burning
>>27314406
again, i was a year 6 noncing about with a year 2 for romance. i'm no fucking normie reeeee
>>27314390
loads of schools in UK called high school mate
>Mum made me go to summer holiday club at my school which was for 4 days a week every week for the 6 weeks
>The group did outdoor activities in the playground and sometimes swimming in the pool
>Other kids always left me out of whatever they were doing
>Almost always on my own
>Sat on a wall often watching the road opposite and thought if I ran away if anybody would really notice and or care
>>27314442
I've heard a lot of 20-year-olds in this country call their secondary school a high school. It's fucked up, m8.
>>27313570
>Moving school next week
>Kid at school selling pokemon cards
>convince the gullible cunt im gonna pay him
>Gives me his stack of 500 cards with shinies etc
>Move schools
>Never see him again
LMAO MY FIRST SCAM
>some year 7 kids who last year swore "i'll never back to this shit hole" starts hanging around the school fence and walking through the school if the gate was open
These people made me more uncomfortable than the local pedo who'd hang around the fence
>>27314469
that's sad. i remember i was in a wicker weaving class for one of those stupid summer school things. i bullied these two brothers. then i went to secondary school and they grew and i stayed manlet. we were mates in the end but i reckon he prolly always held it against me. dated my gf after me age 14 and kept talking to me about how nice her tits were. weird guy
>>27314469
>and sometimes swimming in the pool
the fuck upperclass school u go to mate
my manlet friend was in the same situation though, sucks man
>>27314390
>27414000
Oh shit mate, completely forgot about that shit, meant secondary school, haven't said it in years and more used to high school so fuck my life lad
>Be irish
>Go to school in ireland
>Some clown in class decides to shite in a lucozade bottle
>Hides it in the ceiling of the classroom (most schools had those thin square piles you could push up easily)
>Class bangs of shit for the next month
>>27314477
Don't be a pleb. I'm in my 30s and I went to a high school
>>27314467
fucking barry from eastenders smfh
>the story the teachers told us every year about that one kid who tried to climb the fence and got impaled by the balls
True horror
>>27314429
that's the exact one
you have to get to the pole and yell aki paki 123 before the paki gets there. that was how we played it.
>>27314494
at my secondary school we'd get lads who got expelled turning up trying to fight the teachers they beefed with most. police would have to come defuse it. love my shithole home town.
>Last day of Year 6
>We all got to bring in a toy
>Ryan Harry brings in a wrestling DVD like we were going to watch it or something?
>On the yard, make fun of him because wrestlings gay.
>He starts to cry, takes his disk out and snaps it in front of us.
>Just laugh at him even harder.
>The CUTEST girl who grew up to be 10/10
>Rubbed her legs against mine
>Always giggled and tried to talk with me
>Literally gave me gifts on valentines and birthday which i said "eww"
My friends said I WAS GAY and laughed at me because of what she was doing
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhh
I fap to her facebook pics minimum once a week. cant believe what a lil faggot i was. shes an absolute stunner and not a bitch either
>>27314538
>don't lean back on that chair anon, I knew a kid who fell backwards and cracked his head open because he was leaning on his chair
>>27314530
it was wrong what janine done to baz
>>27314538
>every teacher knew a kid that died from leaning back on their chairs
jesus christ what's the mortality rate for our schools
>that one kid who got kicked so hard in the balls he had to go to hospital
>had to have one removed
>everyone called him Hitler
Top chortle 2bh
>>27314565
fuck me that is a sexy pic
>>27314573
>>27314595
brit hivemind desu lad
>>27314595
There was a kid long before I joined the school that died after being kicked in the chest during some game (inb4 bulldog, it wasn't). They told us that story every year and banned that game
>>27314565
fuckkkkk me shes a top slag
wish she'd nosh on my bell end tbqh famicon
>>27314565
fuck i remember doing this shit too. leg against leg. and then there was this one girl who had fat tits and ass by age 14 (unluckiest girl, get targeted so hard) and i'd walk home with her and slap her ass a bunch and in english i'd put my hand under her ass. fuck she was fit
>>27314445
>A little girl was a whore.
Fuck you cunt, he could've saved her and had a pure, innocent gf. Instead he turned Kuroneko into a typical, roastie slag.
>>27314467
>he's had multiple gf's.
>I-I'm not a normie, I s-swear guys.
Sure thing Chad.
>>27313250
Gina i think her name was, some here
anyone else play greebo football? basically half the school chasing one person carrying a football and beating the shit out of them to get it. this was secondary
>Be in mass singing ave maria
Ave maria gratzi Chewbaka
>Dominous tea bum benadict R2D2
Me and James were retards
>the kid who died
who was it lads?
in my year there was this kid that nobody really knew existed (robot in the making?) he sort of collapsed on the field alone, took like 4 minutes before anybody noticed. the abulance came and we never saw him again.
also, who /kent/ here?
>that one psychotic cunt that would go around hitting boys in the balls
God I wanted to lamp that prick
>playing prince of persia in the computer room
>annual visit by policeman to talk about road safety (i still remember you PC Lobster)
>having a kid play their instrument before friday assembly (fuck the snare drum kid)
>mouthing the words to hymns/just making wordless noises that sound similar
one year so many people were doing that the teachers thought we couldnt remember the words so they had a projector set up during the performance. they placed the screen in the middle of the seats so any parents sitting behind it couldnt see shit.
>>27314666
there's nothing quite like the camaraderie of a shared memory like that. you and i are sharing a strong connection at this moment mate.
also nice trips
>>27313097
Related:
>primary school
>there's a fucking plant growing competition
>everyone gets a potted seed and whoever grows theirs the healthiest wins
>labels on the front with names of who owns the plant
>I'd helped my mum in the garden before
>feeling confident
>everyone else either not watering theirs or fucking drowning it
>mines the best
>good strong stem
>very healthy
>now my name is matt h, yeah?
>there was this fat dickhead callet matt w in my class also
>somebody snuck into the classroom one break time and my label from 'matt h' to 'matt hew W'
>I see this and go fucking livid
>get disqualified from the plant competition because I can't prove the plant is mine
>Matt W inherits my winning plant
>kills it
Life is suffering I tell you what
>>27314403
>heathen colonials
The law required British schools to perform an daily act of collective worship, usually the Lord's Prayer and a hymn sufficed.
>particularly foggy day
>me and a few mates decide to use this to our advantage and leave school early
>we all walk into the foggy field and to the fence
>fog so dense that we can't be seen
>me and another guy are at the top of the fence in seconds
>other two are a little large so they can't climb
>spend an hour trying to dig a gap under the fence to crawl under
>not working
>decide fuck it and climb anyway, fuck those other two
>one of the bigger guys climbs it but the other just can't do it
>he decides to see if the gate is open on the other side of the school
>we walk around and meet him at the ice cream van
>literally 5 minutes left of school by the time we broke out
>come back next day to find we missed a surprise exam
>>27314673
had a couple kids hang themselves desu. one lad got smashed in the throat with a cricket ball but he lived. he was already deaf and mute into the bargain before that, fuck me what a tough break
>>27314600
>the kid who tried to climb on top of pic related during pe
>slipped halfway up
>caught his testicle sack on the metal hook to wrap string around
>ripped straight through it and tore his balls open
nothing in a gore thread will ever compare to what I saw that day
>>27312589
you did it lad dont let that fag take your glory
My tv viewing after school on friday
>>27314673
>the teacher who died
Who was it, famtachi?
One of the PE teachers died on the day that she was supposed to go along on a school trip to France. They had to tell the students on the plane.
>>27314666
Devil trips confirm that her name is Gina and that she is wank material
>>27314687
are we talking original bitmap brothers prince of persia? if so, iktfb
>>27313174
FUCKING JORDAN STOLE MY CRAZY BONES TOO
>>27313184
every time that hymn was sung the whole assembly started laughing. Eventually a Year 6 teacher shouted at all of us and told us not to
>>27314711
shit i just remembered, in primary a girl got brain cancer and died. i remember a year or so after she got pulled out of school, we were at church and i looked up to the big balconies overhanging and saw her up there with her face really puffed up from medications. was quite haunting. RIP chloe, sweet lil girl
>>27314661
This isn't anime where girls are pure and innocent. They ALL become cuntish whores
>>27314689
thnx m8, appreciate it
>>27314730
i used to kiss my fingers and hold them out to people like craig charles because of this shit. so icy
>>27314736
Great game. I was so shit at it.
Kept calling the evil Jaffar a jaffa cake.
Never did finish it.
>when a student and a teacher got into a full-on fight
That always had the school talking for weeks.
Some 20 something year old maths teacher. Pretty tragic actually.
The most brutal and memorable fight to happen on school grounds took place because of it. Some psycho kid said he was glad she died to another psycho kid who really liked the teacher.
It broke out right next to me too so I was right in the action
>>27314750
fuck i've been in this thread since i made that post (i'm also kuroneko loli guy) and somebody finally related to that hymn. now i can rest easy
>Threatening to call up fucking Esther Rantzen on Childline when mum wouldn't let me stay up to watch TV
>Somewhat ironically getting a brutal hiding from her for saying such a thing
>>27314732
You took a plane to France? Where abouts was your school?
We only went for a day and we drove.
>>27314811
That was supposed to be in reply to >>27314732
2bh
>>27314561
Panty is top tier
>Having to sit in front of your shitty Heritage Fair project for seven hours straight
Do people outside of Canada know this feel?
>>27314645
spreading your legs like a madman so the girls leg next to you would bump into it was all i did to pass the time, it always felt so good, and me and this one girl made it a game, mm if i could repeat that
>>27314811
>tfw one of my friends got beaten up after posting an edgy facebook status about a teacher who died
Feel bad for just watching that happen but he kinda deserved it
>>27314673
Had a kid who tried to do the worm to impress some girls on non school uniform day, chatting up the girls had given him a semi though and he tore his cock open on the inside of his zip.
Was wearing white jeans too the prick. Funny as fuck.
He died when he was about 15 of an aneurysm, just dropped dead.
Literally the only thing they put about him in the paper is that he was a "follower of fashion" even I thought that was gay as fuck and I have had several cocks in my mouth.
>school trip
>paired with protoegg kid, ben 10 mong, and regular mong
>all changing clothes on the first morning in swattenden
>protoegg doesn't want to change in bathroom for fear of us charging in for some reason
>ben 10 mong hatches a plan
>"hey protoegg, change in the wardrobe"
>he enters
>ben 10 mong throws flip-phone to regular mong
>he swings open the wardrobe revealing a naked protoegg
>regular mong is actually taking pictures
>the absolute madman
>actual cheese pizza on this phone
>protoegg never told for fear of leaking photos
>teachers never knew
was a fucked up school trip all in all, never knew what happened to those photos
oh yeah, it was also regular mongs birthday while we where there, our group got birthday cake for bunking with him
>school trip day to science museum
Anyone else /Magna/ here?
>when they let you go in the arts store unsupervised
>messy shit shack
>the place had stock dating back to the 70's
>everything was on the floor and in piles
>literally climbed over old crap to get stuff
>nicking rubbers and pretty shit from the back
It was good, yeah?
>>27314811
one of my mates had his mum die, he wasn't in and our form teacher came in crying and told us (this was secondary). they all started gossiping and this one slag lauren goes 'maybe it was cos she was well fat' and i was like 'oi fuckin shut up' and she told me to do one so i said 'shame it werent you that died' and she went spackers. next class was this twat young female teacher who always wanted to be down with the girls, she comes up to me and goes 'i heard about what you said to lauren and i'm going to make sure you get in trouble'. never heard anything about it after that but i always had issues with that teacher. i'd sit at the back of the portcabin class by the fire exit and me and her would argue and i'd always end up goin like 'na thats out of order' and leaving out the fire exit kek
>>27314825
Surrey. Well it might've been France, I don't remember. Think it was a skiing trip, hence PE teachers were needed
>Primary school
>Be like 6 or something
>Teachers start coming down hard on kids for asking to go to the toilet during assembly, saying they should make sure they go beforehand
>Loads of kids all sitting on the floor in a packed hall for assembly
>Kid in front of me starts pissing himself all over the floor because he's too scared to ask the teachers
>had to read a book and watch some shitty tv show in year 7 called Stone Cold
>me and my mate would write our essays and replacing all the character with wrestling characters.
>Ken Shamrock killing all the homeless people with an ankle lock
>Main character was Mankind
>one of the characters was also called Vince on Coronation Street so we called him Vince McMahon
I'm guffawing
>>27314819
MATE I DID THIS. I CALLED CHILDLINE FROM THE YELLOW PAGES WITH MY SISTER! right as it picked up my mum noticed and came rushing to the phone yelling. i still think about the childline worker thinking about how that's the one that got away lol. i was her baby p.
>>27314890
Magna was the tits.
First time we went though the teachers made us stand and wait for fucking ages for archemedies to "take a bath".
Stood there for like 20 minutes before some woman came over and told us it was broken.
>>27311111
mighty fine quints my friend
>>27313433
Is this Kylo Ren's origin story?
>some boy in primary make a joke about yellow teeth to me
> i have yellow teeth so i think hes backhanding some shit to me
>i pretend not to hear him over the desk
I dunno why this one memory sticks in my head
>edgy kid goes on holiday to turkey
>comes back with a bb gun
>gets it out and starts shooting
>everyone fuckin scatters
dunblane!!!
>>27314898
>Surrey.
The fuck m8, we drove all the way from fucking Essex.
>>27314848
We don't do Fair project things like you guys at all
>>27314903
im struggling to breathe from this story
fuck this thread has been one of the best ever on r9k and ive been here donkeys years
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIR4c270JEM
>some kid masturbated in an exam
>came in his hand
>shook the invigilators hand at the end of the exam
The original madman
>snows while at school
>field is covered in snow for lunch time
>older kids get 15 minutes more lunch than my year (year 5)
>haing sowball fights all lunchtime, comes time to go in, older kids manage to get between us and the school
>suplexing whatever stragglers from our year group they can find/ charge into them trying to get back into school
>see a gap in their defenses, me and a friend break through
>show up to class 10 minutes late
felt like a war hero even though I left maybe 10 other people out there
>steal mums nail file
>use it to sharpen the spikes on my beyblade
>mfw cutting normie kids ankles with it
who /devilish/ here?
>>27314966
Tough luck, my school's right next to Gatwick so they didn't need transport to get the kids to the airport.
>>27314938
jesus christ i can't believe people are still doing this over fucking post numbers
I once got blamed for some internet prank on this kid even though I had nothing to do with it. Some guy made a mock up myspace page for this kid who was kind of retarded and pretended to be him. The next day at school everyone was talking about it and somehow a rumour went around that I was bragging about making it. I'd sit in the head of years office getting shouted at while waiting for the facts to come out so I could sit there smug af and call them out on all the lies and condescension they threw upon me. The guy who did it finally admitted but I was never called back into the office so I couldn't call anyone out on anything.
Kinda sucks to not have the satisfaction of having my head of year looking at my smug face, but I was a good un in school so this was the only experience of the bad life I got so that's kinda cool
>bluetooth bings at me
>what's all this then
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dftDPLAylU
>mfw
>>27314903
>>had to read a book and watch some shitty tv show in year 7 called Stone Cold
Oh shit nigga, we had to read that book too. I had forgotten all about that book for like 12 years or something until just now.
>>27314997
>the fuckers who used to put rocks in snowballs
>>27314966
Whereabouts in Essex lad
>be me year 6
>recently had sex education lessons
>grill sitting next to me whispers into my ear "I want you to fertilise my eggs anon"
>mfw
first and only time a grill ever flirted with me tbqh lads
>see this thread
>decide to find out how my best friend from primary school is doing
>turns out he's a neckbeard weeb still living at home
>Facebook posts are all anime quotes and general cringey-ness
He was a decent lad, wonder where he went wrong
>>27314736
thats the one, finding out the dos prompt to start it up was a great day. eventually we got windows and spent all the time playing the excel game
I once used the towns of runescape, falador, lumbridge , as names locations in some short story and my cute teacher thought i made the names up and she gave me a little note in pen and a little smiley face
good feel
>>27315088
so basically just you but he doesn't hide his power level?
>>27315088
Seems like a top bloke
>>27314999
>watch kids play football
>me and friends device plan to consistently ruin their game
>field was flat but on top of a small hill
>we all laid down on the slope just before the top of the hill
>wait for ball to come near us
>pick it up and punt it as far away as possible
>sometimes it went over onto the main road
>>27315088
Thought this was about me then, nearly gave me a fucking heart attack
>every Christmas disco and Year 6 leaver's
>"Bob the builder can he fix it?"
>every boy in there: "No he can't!"
>>27315094
I did the same but with the gods. dark lord zamorak was a proper baller desu, bad guys always won in my story.
>>27315113
Who says it isn't?
>that hobo drunk guy who would shout at you over the fence at play time
his name was barky
>>27315135
Ours was Skippy
>>27315126
No-one, I'm just in denial
Please don't be someone I know
>>27315088
>had a best friend in primary school
>his name was "Barney"
>left in like year 3
>never knew/can't remember his last name
>still wonder what became of him to this day
>>27315023
fuck, that got me
>look at all the bluetooth devices
>that one kid one the bus who set it to a swear word
we didn't mess with that guy, he was proper hard
>>27310684
>Be me
>I was actually the tallest boy in my entire primary school
>I was also the youngest at the school when I joined
>Got told I was going to get to cut a cake to celebrate this
>They never let me do this
I barely remember anything from Primary, but that's still firmly in my mind.
Also
>Be fat
>Have over-protective single mother
>Never learn to interact with other kids properly
>Never go out with anyone
>Get bullied by some cunt named Gary for years
>Legitimately never even had a friend until Primary 6
>We bond over both being outcasts and loving Doctor Who
High School comes
>By 4th year, I barely even talk to the guy who was once my closest friend
>He becomes a massive sperg
>In senior year, a rumour gets out that he was going to shoot up the school
>This makes the local news
>On the bright side, I became much less of an outcast in High School and made a few good friends, had a few really good memories
I only just left High School last year btw. 18 so no b&
And that's the story of how I became an autist
Remember when fedoras were cool before the whole fedora meme?
>>27312880
>chips challenge
I didn't know I needed this nostalgia
>>27315163
I'm the same but I think his name was 'Phillip'. Only kid I ever felt a connection with, I ignored him all the first day of year 3 because of all the new sights and sounds. he left the next day.
I miss playing gamecube with you dude, even if you were quiet as hell. quiet is nice.
>>27315174
>Remember when fedoras were cool before the whole fedora meme?
Before I deleted my facebook, there were photos of me up literally tipping a fedora. I deleted it back in 2014, but those photos were up for like 7 years or something.
>"can we have our ball back mister?"
half of the break was spent waiting for someone to walk down the street after we kicked the ball out of school and asking them to get it back for us.
I kinda want to hang around that street now and see if a ball comes flying over so I can give it back and go full circle, but I don't want to seem like a pedo
>that Irish traveler whose family rode into school on horses one day
>the mother pikey went to the Head's office and threatened her over something stupid like a detention her son got
>mfw
Own up, who here wore this?
>>27315174
>mfw had a checkered trilby
>wore it to youth club for a whole year until I realised how stupid it looked
>>27315163
Brodey, where are you bro?
I know this feel.
>>27314510
The school has an outdoor pool next to the playground. Pretty small and not anything special.
>school x factor
>one prissy kid sings living on a prayer and wins by like 400 votes
fuck you liam, you pretty much cemented me as a pathetic outcast
>>27315233
I only got to wear charity shop tracksuits from my brothers
>>27315206
I remember a mate getting a fedora because he wanted to be Pete Doherty and it looked so ridiculous there were roses on it and flames and he'd always tip it
>>27315172
>school nostalgia thread
>american posts
>it's about school shootings
>>27310684
>getting a concussion from bulldog
>giving cuck teachers the runaround on the field when they were trying to ban bulldog
>tripping your mate up on the field when he had a cast on, breaking his arm again
>raiding the pe cupboard at break time and kicking balls en masse into the crowd of kids
>struggling to breathe with laughter when you hit a girl so hard on the head that she falls over
>tripping your mates up as they rushed onto the field
>getting called to head teachers office for calling someone a gayboy
>making subtle but loud farting noises when it went quiet during assembly (a real winner when you get away with it)
>flicking rolled up bits of paper over the rows of kids during assembly
>flicking chair out from under a mate when he tried to sit down
Life was so much easier back then
just remembered my teacher in year 6, mr lennox. he would tell the kids to tell their parents he'd be selling sports goods every now and then. the parents would all come in and he'd sell a bunch of knockoff Kappa gear out of cardboard boxes lel. i had some of those Kappas with those poppers along the side, i'd undo them up the side all sexy and swish around like a flash cunt
>asked out by a few girls each year from year 5 onwards
>said no
>now they are hot as fuck
I must've been a faggot or something
>year 6
>librarian calls upon kids to cover morning breaktime in the library so she can sit on her lazy ass and do nothing
>me and the lads volunteer to do tuesday breaktimes
>tuesday breaktime
>we chillin around the front desk
>absolute madman walks in from nowhere and starts tellin us that poprocks and coke make an explosion in your mouth
>we call bullshit
>madman whips out a packet of pop rocks and a can of coke seemingly from his asshole
>no food or drink in the library
>but we are too intrigued to enforce the law
>six of us sat in the library going nuts over the parties in our mouths
>librarian bursts in and gets her knickers in a right twist
>all six of us banned for three days
I still love doin pop rocks and coke to this day.
>the porter who got mad at you for asking for some paper
>>27315265
I'm not American. Read my post again. I specifically said PRIMARY school. I'm from Scotland, in case you were wondering. So you can understand how fears over a shooting would come about.
>loud but smart girl molly
>she was nice to me and me alone
>before I deactivated facebook a few years ago I looked her up
>still single and her wall is clean of any commercial trend nonsense
she was quite an enigma.
>>27315233
I think that's more an American thing
>tfw roof playground
>>27315302
andy murray was in dunblane
>Some kid in my form at school called Ben
>Was alright in year 7 then turned into a massive prick
>Became a bit of a bully, started gobbing on me once in Geography until I went apeshit at him
>Our mums both got breast cancer around the same time, his mum died and mine didn't
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Wi7SYKDvY4
>he wore his secondary school's jumper
>>27315318
>roof playground
You can't just post something like that with no explanation or story
lads how do i save a thread? save as just gets stuck downloading and xchan doesn't seem to download the thread when i put in URL
>>27314687
Have a blast from the past
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAgxZ-l5pY8
>>27314523
Well when the ceiling is made of piles of course it's gonna smell like shite
>TFW didn't get a leavers hoodie from High School
>>27315349
>the jumper was made mandatory
>had to wear a blazer and a jumper, even when it wasn't cold
>>27315356
>You can't just post something like that with no explanation or story
It's pretty self-explanatory - we had a playground on the roof.
Our primary school was pretty small, but it had four floors, and then a playground above that on the roof. It had bars to stop us from falling off though and the middle part had a little roof over it.
Had some mad beyblade battles there.
>>27310739
LMFAO!!
I had completely forgotten about this!
It got so bad in our class room at one point the teacher started screaming at us to stop to which we all replied...
Yesssssssssssssss
We all got lunch time detention
>sneaking out of bed at night to watch Babestation
>>27315266
bulldog was the shit
>when you sacrifice a kid by tripping him up
>tfw yoyos, bayblades and tamagochis
>getting 'peanutted', where somebody pulls your tie really hard and the knot gets tight as fuck and you spend the afternoon trying to prise it open with your keys
Guys, I haven't visited my Primary School in over 10 years. Apparently a handful of teachers I knew from then are still there.
Should I pay a visit?
can anyone tell me the name of that geography game? I think it was by RM or something, you got letters from this kid and you had to follow him around the world or something. I was god tier at that game.
in return,
http://pbskids.org/arthur/games/alien/alien.html
>talk to my mate from another primary school in the same village
>he asks me to set up a runescape account for him
>do
>months pass and he pisses me off so I change his password using the security questions that I set up
>get known as the school hacker for the rest of my life
>also in high school some other guy who went to that other primary school tells me that when the guy found out about the runescape account he cried and told the teacher
>he told the teacher from a different primary school on me because I 'hacked his runescape'
I laugh to this day
this thread has given me so many good feels.
why the fuck is britfeel so shit yet this thread can bloom into something great? sort it out britfeel regs and I might actually be able to converse with you
>>27315387
>High School
yeah fuck right off
>>27315406
apparently paige turnah started out on babestation. gave me newfound respect for it
>>27315406
>not Exotica Erotica
>>27315403
So your school was so small that you had to put the playground on the roof? Jesus wept, I had no idea school budgets were that bad. Where was your school?
>>27315302
>scot posts
>he gets butthurt about the english again
P O T T E R Y
>>27315426
>tfw was gonna do this a year after I left
>kept saying this for years
>went to pick little sister up from exact same school over a decade later
>all my old teachers are gone
god damn...
>>27315426
i once took a gf to my home town and walked her to my old secondary school on a saturday. walked through it a bit, wanker janitor i remember turns up and tells us there's cameras and to clear off. didn't help me having a shaved head but fuck off twat
>>27315453
It's all part of our plan, Anglo
>>27315434
anime fags from int over ran it
>Secondary school decides to take away regular ties and make everyone wear clip-ons
>some knock off school shop in town still has the school make of tie in stock
>buy one with my year's colour on it
>buy a spare, just in case
>wear regular tie for two years before getting it confiscated
>comeback after 6 weeks break with spare tie only done up properly
>make it slightly shorter everyday
>I was back to this effay look within weeks and I never got my tie taken from me
>one of only people left in school to not have a clip on
>>27315448
Inner London. It sounds proper ghetto, but it was a really nice playground (the floor had that nice coloured stuff that people used to pick at).
The ground below had another smaller playground, but that had high brick walls with barbed wire along the top though to stop people from getting in and I didn't go there as much.
>Primary school, year 4
>school's got "playground supervisors" who are actually just a bunch of chinks hired on the cheap
>at lunch table having some y4 banter with my mates
>throw some food at girls on the next table over
>chink hobbles over, says something that's meant to be english
>i'm not really listening, but at that moment I think of something stupid that a Y4 would laugh at, probably about bums, and have a giggle
>chink thinks i'm laughing at her accent and orders me to eat outside the hall for the rest of the week
that's when I learned to hate anime
>>27315486
>tfw you were the Jay in your friend group
>>27312233
Brother Noah built the ark
>>27315459
>>27315473
Yeah lads but the thing that gets to me is how those teachers worked so closely with my mum to help improve the school that they even went to my mum's funeral.
>be in reception
>literally turned 4 a month ago
>start throwing wet sand at all the kids
>get my first bollocking for being "violent"
Also
>be in year 1
>sandnigger grill In my class, kind of shy
>gives me a party invite
>rip it up In front of her and throw it in the bin
>get it in the fucking neck from teachers, my parents and her parents
Also
>year 3
>class trip to wacky fucking warehouse
>pull down a girls skirt and underpants in front of everyone
>get expelled
Smh desu senpai
>>27315406
i still wank to those stations t.b.h lad.
I wait until they get in a nice position and bust all over my chest
I know i have access to so much porn, and believe me i watched some rancid extreme shit, but there's something nice of a live girl
pic unrelated
>>27315363
fuck my nigga, i had completely forgotten about that, despite "king of the road" popping into my head every once in a while
Who /mastercriminal/ here?
>drama class year 7
>teacher goes out the room for a few minutes
>start doing the stamping and clapping thing from Queen's "We Will Rock You"
>couple of friends start doing it too
>more and more people join in until eventually the entire class starts doing it
>teacher storms back in and shouts "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING?! STOP THAT NOW!"
>everyone fucking shits it, especially me the perpetrator
>tells us how she was embarrassed and made to look like a mug in front of some ex-pupil who came to see her
>says she's giving an hour's detention to whoever the "ringleader" was, asks them to own up
>bitch I ain't owning up to that
>somehow nobody else grasses on me
>she completely forgot about it the next day because she had depression or something
>mfw got away with the perfect crime
>>27314890
>Some school trip to London
>Lunch time and we were eating packed lunches on the steps outside
>Teacher told us not to feed the pigeons
>Lewis and I did anyway.
Ahh memories.
>Mr McFadden does roll call one morning
>Mr M: "Absolute Madman?"
>Absolute Madman: "Yes Mr McFaggot"
>Riot ensues
Literally every fucking kid wanted to have their party here.
We'd all wait for the bucket at the top to fill with foam balls then we'd lie down on the ground and get pelted with them when it tipped.
>>27315563
You won't believe me but actually for a while, ASAP Rocky lived in London and I saw him all the time
>>27315490
>inner london
Yeah thought it sounded like one of those Islamic schools. It is shut down now?
>all girls school
>girls would be nice to me only to ditch me or treat me like shit for being the "tag along"
>the sixth form years were mixed with a local all boys school
>year 10 stacey starts seeing one of the sixth form guys
>he dumps her
>she fills a bottle with piss and spit and throws it on him at the end of the school day when everyone's making their way to buses etc
Only now do I appreciate the irony of a chavy stacey having a piss bottle that she uses as a weapon against chads.
>>27315605
oh lord that got me good
>tfw finally got friends in Year 11
>started to get in with the popular lads
>started going to parties and stuff
>get good GCSEs
>School doesn't have a sixth form but most of us go to the same college anyway
>Basically shut myself off from everyone in college
>do really shit in my A Levels and lose all my friends
>Now a friendless loser on the brink of getting kicked out of uni
Honestly I fantasise about time travelling back to the first day of year 12 and doing things differently so often, that's really when my life fell apart.
>>27315615
It's a Roman Catholic school m8, and nah, it's still up and running.
>>27315537
>tfw you were the will in your friendship group
>>27315650
You pulled birds that were completely and utterly out of your league and were an excellent student?
>Primary school got knocked down in 2004
>Secondary school closed down in 2012
>that kid who would fucking lob haribos at 100 miles per hour
>ywn be english
;_;
>tfw not a real robot
the educational video games kept me going honestly
>>27315672
>College got knocked down literally the year after I left and got turned into a retirement community
Fucking metaphor if ever I saw one.
>>27315668
He was a terrible student. Shit himself in his exam because he thought studying 24 hours a day was good study practice
>>27315631
It happened over 16 years ago and I still piss myself laughing over it
>>27315697
Do you remember this?
>>27315697
Bruh
origami
>when inbetweeners came out and every mong would just quote it 24/7
>thinking they were original for calling someone a bus wanker
>>27315614
i believe you m8. mainly because i'd have no interest in meeting negro rapping gentleman #42, so the wow factor is lost on me.
>tfw forgot my computer password in IT class and the teacher was so busy that I had to sit and wait for 20 minutes
>she got mad at me for "doing nothing" for 20 minutes
>in reality, I used askjeeves to search "how to remember password" on my best friend's computer
>Primary School is still open
>Council continues to invest money into it
Who was the best sweets and drinks seller in your secondary school?
Jesus was the king for a while before he went to college and then my good friend Chi Ry took the spot with his quid Haribos and endless supply of dairy milks
>MFW I was in his form so I got first pick of the sweets
>>27315739
the only really good quotable thing to come out of that was
>FRIEND
This absolute pile of cunt
>>27312436
We had to do that and get changed in the class room, it was odd.
>>27315739
>You were literally the only person you knew who watched S1
>Thought it was some cool obscure thing
>Suddenly S2 comes along and all the chavvy cunts are quoting it and missing most of the point
anyone remember the quiz on encarta, or that history game Museum Madness
>>27315719
i honestly don't
>>27315668
I was the posh transfer student who endlessly made autistic inappropriate commentsbut I did in year 11 get incredibly drunk at a party and get awkward teen sex with one of the most popular girls in the yearI was also too drunk to maintain an erection so didn't even finish
>>27315761
my cousin and best mate whelan. he would buy his 2 for 1 haribos and walk around all break and lunch selling them out of his backpack, made hundreds. eventually his locker started getting smashed in by year 11s raiding his stash so he packed it in.
>>27315163
Fuck I know this feel.
>Friends with a girl called Elanor early on in Primary school
>Doesn't turn up anymore
>Remember in assembly one day she was sitting on her mums lap at the back of the hall
>Last time I saw her
Over 20 years later and I still wonder what became of her and how she is. Same with the girls I became friends with during my times when I was in hospitals in London.
>see an old high school teacher around that I was friendly with but respected
>instinctively call him sir when talking to him
>>27312436
now I remember that, we used to get changed in the toilets then for some reason we had to get changed in the classroom, I began wearing my PE stuff under my uniform because I thought it would be cool to be fast but reeally I was insecure as shit
>>27315761
the loser mid called tom who'd give people sweets to be his friend
>>27315774
Same here, weren't even separated by gender or anything, just everyone getting changed in the classroom.
>>27315813
>leave primary school
>don't see any of my classmates anymore
>those that i recognise don't recognise me
>>27312677
I was similarly wimpy, and I did high jump with the athletic kids because they were mostly too scared to do the Fosbury Flop. We had a huge crash mat so I didn't get what was scary about it and I beat the scissors jumping pussies. I didn't actually win because a few of them did jump properly.
>that one guy who molested all the girls, was openly racist and got into a fight every week before dropping out
ahh the bad ol days
r9k sold me the NEET life so I dropped out 3 years ago at the tender age of 16 and now I'm a qualificationless hikki shitstain who's living the fuckin dream
I'll go out of the house next week for the Babymetal concert though
>cycling proficiency
Haven't used a hand signal, helmet or anything reflective in the 15 years since that day and I ride almost daily.
>>27315771
>mfw finding that JavaScript that gave you all the answers
>>27315771
>that one kid who did his homework
literally why
>>27315885
>tfw mum was really stressed at the time and forgot to sign my cycling proficiency form
>literally the only kid in my class left to sit alone while they're out on the streets
hurts inside.
>Year 7 Home Economics
>Everyone is making spaghetti bolognese or something
>Don't realise there's a jam-rag bit under the mince in the polystyrene tray thing to soak up excess blood or whatever and just bung it all into the pan when cooking it
>"Miss why does mine have like tissue in it or something"
>Take it home in tupperware and feel bad when mum won't eat it
>tfw going home on a Friday, knowing that Sky1 would have two episodes of the Simpsons, one of Futurama, and one of Malcolm in the Middle on that night
>english language coursework, had to do a 5 minute speech on your hobby
>tfw no hobbies, couldn't think of anything to do my speech on
>decided to just not do it
>teacher didn't realise that I never did my speech
>results day
>see I got an A on that piece of coursework
>mfw got an A for something I didn't do
>year 7 cooking class
>making a cake
>farm lad called Jack brings eggs from his farm
>breaks it into a bowl
>ay anon what's in me egg
>mate what the fuck I think that's a foetus
>looks at me for like 5 seconds
>whisks it anyway
>>27315634
Iktf senpai
When I wasn't legally obliged to spend all day at school/college, I stopped going and my grades and friendships suffered as a result.
>the summers that went on forever but ended too soon
I miss my friends.
Actually tearing up right now.
arguing with friends about what the biggest number was
>"it's a gorilion"
>"no, my brother told me it was a kajillion"
>racing to the lunch line as fast as you could, otherwise you'd lose 75% of your break in the queue
>>27315885
>tfw didn't do cycling proficiency because didn't know how to ride a bike at age 11
>me and some autistic kid were the only ones in our year who didn't do it
>Be 1995
>New Windows 95 computers arrive in the IT room
>Pentium 166 MMX, CD-ROM drives, it's good shit
>Everyone takes advantage of thew new cutting-edge multimedia technology by setting the screensavers to 3D Text with "Mr Morris is a cunt"
>mfw English and went through primary, middle and high school
>mfw I don't have a face.
3 tier system best system
>year 3
>school gets ICT suite for first time
>we all get passwords
>some dumb abbreviation of our school name followed by the year we were in followed by a 2 digit number that represented our place in the register
>usernames for everyone was firstname.lastname
>figure out password pattern immediately and know everyone's position in register cos i had autism tier memory back then
>start logging in to people's accounts and placing TXT files saying shit like "this is the end JACOB" or whatever
>most people had never used a computer before
>they all thought the computers were haunted
Fucking hate that alcohol has ruined my top tier memory, i wonder what devilish things I could have done
>never memorising your highschool timetable and always asking your mates what you had next
i think i found it bros, my favourite game at computer time. anyone else play it?
fingers on lips everyone
>>27315737
Ah fuck me zoombinis.
>Clever lass called jess in my form
>Kinda liked her
>That fucking stupid thing kids do where they pick on the one they like
She made it into Cambridge, the real one I mean not that fake one that just happens to be there. never answered my friend request on normiebook so i could apologise.
>different year groups had different lunchtimes
>late to lesson by half an hour before you thought it was your lunch
>mfw still went to my lunch as well
Did this at least 5 times because I was a spastic
>be 7 years old
>it's a non-school uniform
>I don't realise, and turn up in school clothes
>they force me to wear clothes from the lost and found
>cry because they smell and people laugh at me
>year 8
>getting bluetoothed mp3s of Basshunter to my slide open phone
>feeling like a cheeky cunt and bluetoothing the audio clip of 'you will die in seven days' to anyone who left their bluetooth on
>>27316045
heads down thumbs up
>quirky girl called stephanie
>seemed really classy for a 10 year old
>we only spoke 3 or so times but I really liked her
>dreamt we were nocturnal and were alone in the school at night sorrounded by bats
>we just sat there looking out the window at the stars
still one of my most surreal memories. no idea what happened to her actually, and no normiebook.
I can't help but feel that chad would find her and tell her these memories on a one night stand, but I get anxious when somebody walks past my house...
>When Skins came out and everyone tried to have a Skins style party.
>>27315885
Cycling Proficiency will get you killed. You need vehicular cycling to survive British roads. Cycling Proficiency has been replaced by the less suicidal Bikeability.
>>27316106
this happened to me on picture day at end of year
fuck everything
though I'm glad I'm not alone in this
Did anyone learn what the method behind defeating this tosser without losing any Zoombinis was?
>>27316121
>mfw get picked by crush
>get to feel her nice soft hand touch yours
>Used to get stiff over the nude art in science text book
>Used to cum in seconds over light nudity on babestation
The easy days.
>>27316106
Oh shit nigga, you just reminded me
>school had a "jeans for genes" day where everyone would wear their own clothes (with jeans) and pay 1 quid for some charity
>fat as fuck, don't even own any jeans
>turn up to school in school uniform
>tfw literally the only person in the entire school not in their own clothes
That's a painful one
>playing that high as fuck pitch noise on my phone
>feel like a head honcho cos adults couldnt hear its frequency
>watching angry kid on my mates 3 flip phone at 50p per 30seconds animation
>playing this at full volume on the bus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dIE1elyHho
>>27312506
this tbqhf i agree m8
>that autistic girl who had a crush on you
>Be in year 2
>Whole class is sitting on the carpet at the front of the class
>Pass around a woollen hat, saying words that rhyme with your name
>I had a terrible lisp
>It gets to my turn
>"Ham"
>"No Sam, don't say your name. Say a word that rhymes with your name"
>"Lamb"
>"Listen to the other children do it"
>They all say rhyming words
>"Jam," I say, holding back tears
>"Stop saying your name. Give someone else the hat"
That moment was horrible. I was kind and gentle and sensitive as a child. The teacher knew I had a speech impediment but kept pushing me.
I dropped out of my physics degree because I refused to stand in front of the class and present my work.
>music lesson
>"DJ DJ DICTIONARY DI DI DI DICTIONARY DJ DJ"
>>27315739
>tfw all the normies, staceys and chads loved that show but barely even looked the road you were on considering you and your friends were a carbon copy of the characters
>>27316257
this made me sad. Fuck those people anon
>primary school, had to change in the classroom for PE
>boys and girls getting changed in the same room
>teacher just sitting there watching
>years later realise just how fucking weird that was
>>27316219
>cute girl had a crush on me
>i had a crush back on her
>we were like 10 and i had the added bonus of being a retard so of course nothing happened
>bumped into her at a bus stop about 8 years later
>she is a LITERAL 10/10
>i got fat and have permanent bags under my eyes
>spaghetti apocalypse for 5 minutes while i wait for the bus
>>27313570
Stole 700+ cards of the guy that bullied me just before I moved school
Life is sweet
There were 17 including me in my class, 10 female 7 male.
>me, years 3 through 6
>no friends so I just wander around the playground aimlessly every day
>always been skinny, so I wore my padded parka coat to keep warm even in spring
>lads in my year would play football and the girls would often sit and watch or join in on occassion
>they wise up to me and my big coat, eventually ask me to be a goalie for them
>no father, never watched football so no idea what to do
>'just stand there and block the ball'
>they all proceed to boot the ball as hard as possible into me
>thinking I'm doing well, I bear through the pain
>go home and tell mum how I made friends playing football
>she sees marks on coat and the bruises on my chest and abdomen
>after I get in bed that night I hear her crying
7/10 experience really
>>27316159
Make all your zoombinis as similar as possible, i.e as many with the same hair and legs as it would allow (five I think).
>>27316259
>music GCSE
>convincing the teacher that every lesson was a practical lesson
>dick about with instruments every lesson
>>27313714
wordart story time
>making a poster about our town
>decide to use yellow word art 4th row, 5 across
>didn't know you could adjust the angle the text was on
>leave computer for whatever reason
>kid next to me pulls the text to illegible angle
>the title now looks like an exponential graph
>he starts cracking up laughing
>come back, realise I dont know how to fix it
>slam his head against the desk
>chip his tooth
>had to work by myself for 2 days
>bretty good lads
who here /celtcucks/?
Anyone remember playing pitchy and exchanging Irn Bru bottlecaps for 20p a pop?
>>27316006
The summer days felt so warm too. I'll probably always remember walking around the estate getting up to various mischief with my then friends.
Also;
>That one girl at primary school who was willing to drop her skirt and knickers behind the sheds so you could get a look
>tfw you meet someone from a nearby neighbourhood years later in the city and they knew a decent overlap of the same people you did>tfw now dating her
>that one chad in 1st year that had pubes like sherwood forest and wouldnt miss an opportunity to pull down his trousers and show you them
>climbing up and sitting on the wall
>get bollocked by some dinner lady on the floor
>last day of the year
>get to watch a film in class
>always the same film because each department only seemed to have one DVD between them
>seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ten times now
>>27316291
>>27316219
>cute girl at school had a crush on me
>my older sister (by 10 years) kept asking me who I liked at school or if I had a girlfriend at school
>wouldn't tell her
>one day she just kept asking me who I liked and I told her it was some brown girl (she was mixed race, half Indian or something)
>sister teased me for fucking years about "the little brown girl"
>mum and brother used to join in too and laugh at me
>ended up resenting that girl, even though it wasn't her fault
>>27316411
>get bollocked by some dinner lady on the floor
Holy shit, I interpreted that wrong and now I'm literally in tears
>>27316219
>that autistic girl who sucked off somebody under the stairs is interested in you
tfw irish but gonna post anyway because we are so similiar
>be me in junior infants first year of school have to organise seating get stuck on a table with 5 girls
>constantly made fun of cant make friends with other boys because they hated me
>only 4 actual friends who were all kinda weird one always wore gel in his hair an overweight ginger kid and 2 twins
>finally find a girl who is friendly she was tall for her age the same shit i got bullied for become friends next year have to move school dont keep in touch with her because i was 7 and school was an irish only speaking shithole still think about her everyday :(
WHO REMEMBERS THIS.
i fuckin loved the life bus. shit was well good
>the paki kid in year 7 who did a shit in the elevator and smeared it all over the walls
Guess he just missed home
>fairly small school
>football every break and lunch
>turn out to be really good in goals
>teams are always the same, 3 v the rest (about 8 of them)
>tfw always part of the 3
jack always organised it, for some reason he was like 5yrs more physically developed than anyone else so nobody questioned it. basically saw him as a massive chad and didn't see him at all throughout secondary school. met him by chance a few months ago and he's genuinely one of the nicest people i've met. still somehow resent him for the fact that if he told me i was shit at football i could've come to terms that i am a massive sperg earlier
>standing in the playground spinning a plastic skipping rope around my head
>this unstable, aggressive dickhead called Alfie comes running up to me, about to kick me for no reason
>whip his bare legs with the plastic skipping rope
>he falls over crying, I walk away feeling smug
A few years later I came close to having a fight with him because he pushed my deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards onto the floor. Closest I've ever come to having a fight.
>>27314233
This. Silent time in year 1 or 2 was very cozy.
>tfw I sneaked into class to hang with the girls who were preparing a dance
pretty cool feel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOZuxwVk7TU
>Have to get changed in class room
>People make fun of me because I wore briefs
>End up changing to boxers to make it stop
Damn this has been the best thread on here in a while. Getting a nostalgia overload.
>>27310684
>tfw you could have made friends with a girl in primary school and began dating in secondary and eventually marry
>tfw this will literally never happen
Anyone else here completely rejected in their class
>all the guys hated me so never went near me
>made friends with a few girls but the ones i sat with for 3 years hated my guts for some fucking reason
>>27316566
>That group of girls who were never professional dancers or part of any dance class or troupe who used to always do dance routines together, with the leader in the group
>Okay, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT
>They dance and sing toxic in the yard during break.
>>27316571
I got picked on for wearing vests. Fuck them.
>sports day
>for some reason our school got a DJ to play in the field all day
>played a bit of Linkin Park and A Day To Remember
>going through my emo/scene kid phase at the time
>me and other similar types begin a "moshpit"
>actually became quite a hit, eventually loads of kids gathered round to dance or mosh
>music got stopped halfway through because all the big chav kids were joining in and moshing too hard because they thought moshing was literally hitting people
Best day of school.
Holy shit, what a great thread
>when the hall was transformed after school for the scholastic book after you'd flicked through the catalogue all day
>that big year 6 trip where you'd go to an activity centre and stay for a week (isle of wight)
>that feel when you and your bro both knew he'd be coming round after school and you plan all the games you'll play
>those birthday sleepovers where you'd play nightfire all night after going to the cinema and getting a McDonald's
Take me back, those were simpler days
Who /essex/ here? Day trips to London to see the museums were always superb
still got them stickers lad
any of you guys had this in your school?
http://www.antibullyingpro.com/
im 16 in dublin and im one pretty alright stuff
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8CIDdKvUkg
My brother had a primary story that always makes me laugh
>He was walking around at break with his friends
>sees girls doing handstands against wall
>go talk to some
>one girl who is known for being a whiny bitch is still handstanding away
>she flips off the wall and kicks a guy in the face
>dude is on the ground, eye fucked from a little heel kick
>girl starts freaking out that she'll get into trouble
>dude gets up with a fucked up face saying how it's gonna be okay
>girl starts crying her eyes out at what she's done
>both get called into head's office
>dude gets told to be careful with this particular girl's feelings
>he never even got to put a wet cloth over his eye
>>27316482
>>27316646
i hope the robot doesn't get mad at me for my slight error
>>27316630
Essex here. Only remember going to the Natural History Museum once though.
Now I work around the corner from the museums and I never fucking see them at all.
Primary school shit
>someone swinging their legs under the table
>look under there to see who it was
>when I sit back up a girl accuses me of stealing her lucky rabbits foot
>the fuck, I didn't take shit
>marched to one of the mean old teachers while she was in the middle of a class
>start crying like fuck because I didn't do it
I hope that heartless cunt died of cancer
>sitting next to a kid
>he dares me to draw on his arm
>fucking scribble the SHIT out of it
>he immediately tells the teacher
>forced to stand in the corner
>get dizzy and almost throw up
>In PE
>we're doing exercises or some shit, just running around
>I REALLY need to piss, like super fucking bad
>put my hand up
>teacher ignores me
>run around for basically the whole lesson with my arm in the fucking air
>still ignores me
>can't hold it any more and piss myself completely
>go to the toilet
>best friend was already in there
>he had his trousers all the way down
>his lilly white arse was blowing in the wind
Absolute madman
>class is all sat on the floor around the Acorn PC
>that turtle game is loaded up
>she asks what the angle should be
>get it right
Fucking get in lads.
>It's Autumn
>fucking around in the playground
>rake together a massive pile of leaves
>fucking jump in that big leafy bastard
>tfw it's schoolastic time and you buy a new goosebumps book
Fucking had SO MANY GOOSEBUMPS LADS.
>that fucking huge year 7 kid whose mum made him wear a high-vis jacket to school
>got bullied the shit out of
The poor fucker. He was 11 and about 6'2 and was really fat so he had enough on his plate as it was. The fact that his mum thought he needed to be even more visible was always hysterical to me. Yeah, don't worry mate, everyone can see you just fine.
>>27315210
Kick your own ball into the playground and get the kids to give it back
>Last day of year 6
>Everyone getting their shirts signed
>Get mine signed a few times and feel pretty happy about it
>Fast forward 10 years later
>Find the shirt while clearing out some drawers
>Look at all the messages written on it
>Find one at the back just below my neck which says CUNT in big letters
>Flashbacks. Realise that people weren't laughing with me, they were laughing at me that day.
>Throw the shirt out
It hurts still.
>have genetic condition
>changing for swimming age 6 all together in communal changing room
>have freakout over my body realising i'm different
>we hit hit the pool and i almost drown
>get laughed at, the bullying never stops after that
>bully kids i thought were gay in return, turns out they were just autistic
>the free new testament and psalms giveaway day with the jesus guy, my mate ate his bible page by page and went to hospital had to get his stomach cut open
>that poor kid who only got coco pops at christmas who everyone hated
>wanting to fit in and being jealous of classmates who got value white bread and bernard matthews turkey ham sandwiches when i got healthy brown bread and butcher's ham
>small town, same people in my class from 3 year old nursary school to 18 leaving 6th form
>in 6th form get free periods to go to tesco to buy apple turnovers and energy drinks
>drive in m8's car to all you can eat chinese buffets at lunch, sleep off the food coma through biology
>go to hospital a bit and have to wear heart monitors and stuff because of my condition so loads of days off
>look weird, wear baggy clothes to hide fucked up body, long badly kept hair
>getting into metal like the other angry rejects so i'd have friends, skipping classes to drink stella in the woods other side of the school fence
when i left school the two worst bullies died, one from cancer, one got splatted by a lorry while on a motorbike. kek.
brit school was bullshit but kinda great desu
>>27316614
It was weird.
Yeah, people stopped wearing vests in year 3, so did I, and briefs in like year 4, I changed in year 5. Most people wear vests in the winter now, it was a weird thing to get teased over.
>Be 10, and a little bit chubby
>Last year of primary school
>Never been good at P.E. but teacher has us trying out high jump for the first time
>Turns out I'm not bad at high jump at all
>Land in some fox shit hidden in the sand
>Never good at P.E. again after
>Chad breaks his leg or something and has a wheelchair while he recovers
>Fire alarm goes off one day and everyone masses outside
>His Chad buddies betray him and roll him down the banking that leads onto the field
>He goes flying out of the chair when he hits the sharp angle at the bottom
>Starts crying in front of whole school
Hated school but damn, that's a good memory of Chad getting BTFO.
>>27316670
we got to see the toys at the museum of childhood as baby's first trip, but later on we managed to do both the history and science museum on the same day
fuck knows how they managed that with a whole year full of kids though, fair play besides I've been there recently and it's all shit, all the interactive stuffs gone
whereabouts in Essex? Based Southend here
Was anybody else a massive player in primary school? Albeit I went to a private school in Ireland, but I must of gone through 5 or 6 gfs? They were all real rich and the parents like the cute English boy so I had a lot of fun.
Damn, looking back primary school was prob more eventful for me than secondary school. There I was just "excepted" and went along for the ride.
Any lads ever go on a school trip to EUREKA in Leeds?
Can't get any better.
>>27313389
>>27313420
>We don't need no education
>>27316658
hands up if you remember when the crazy frog audio was just some mp3 that played on a website with a pic of an F1 car that said 'i dare you not to laugh'
>When you thought it'd be different in college
>It wasn't, just less mature and more crafty and manipulating, with more backstabbing
>When you thought it'd be different in uni
>It wasn't, just people ignored you rather than bullied you like in school or shit talked behind your back in college
Who /suburbanlowermiddleclasswhitesoutheastengland/ here?
>>27316781
Havering here. I don't remember much in the way of school trips other than going to Epping Forest in the pissing rain to look at an empty Loughton Brook while it was somewhat ironically pissing down with rain.
>ywn go back to primary school
is life worth living bros?
>>27316856
market town in norfolk
>>27310739
LOL fucking forgot about this
>>27316712
i got 'mega babe' written on mine
>>27316795
I had "girlfriends" in that they were the nothing changes, last a day to a week style.
Never did anything with them. Only kind of curiosity "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" kind of think I had was with a guy, one of my neighbours. Was just flashing.
COVOOOOOOOOONIA! COUGH MEDICINE WITH CLOUT!
>>27316734
do you have marfans
>>27316859
Biology trips were the worst, going to fields when it was more often than not raining and just looking at nature
Thank god for the coach journeys
>>27316259
>dic-dic-dictionary
>the sound clips that if you played in the right order sounded like people having sex
good times anon, good times
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qpEVl-Q-Ks
Post some fucking adverts!
>Taking a half-hour bus ride with other kids from school to the local swimming pool to learn how to swim
>Nearly drowning when you had to swim to the bottom of the pool to pick up a foam brick or swim through a fucking hoop or something
>Swim teachers yelling at you from the side for not reaching the brick or making it through the hoop
>Bus ride there and back was the most enjoyable part of the whole experience
Anyone remember some of the old educational videos they used to show?
One I remember was Junk, about some annoying girl who runs away and gets her decent boyfriend hooked on heroin.
The end of year trip to Flamingo Land or Alton Towers that ended in a bus full of puke.
Any anons wanna share their bullying stories im an antibullying ambassador in my school -16 pretty boring but i got a day off for a training day
gonna share mine
>move to new school teacher makes kid be my friend super nice teachers pet type kid super nice to me lets call him M.
>M has a friend lets call him A he hates my guts because M is his friend not mine and gets pissy whenever i talk to him make friends with the other new kid who is polish super chill would play pokemon with him all the time
>A is fat and has a voice that sounds like a stereotypical gay voice decides to go to teacher saying im staring at him every break time just glares at me and harass me and then plays the victim despite me never doing shit teacher sees through this and tells me to tell him when A does this but A tells his mother who goes into the school and just causes more shit and the rest of the year is ruined because i keep getting punished despite doing nothing
>the next year A moves away to australia finally happy best year ever super chill teacher who is great make some new friends everything goes great until about half way through the year.
>A comes back forget his name he says hi to me I just say hi and walk away in front of the class teacher thinks im being rude to him get told his name say hi to him
>A fucking week later he starts shit again by doing the same victim shit based teacher from last year retired cant stick up for me and im assumed a dick friends stick up for me and tell alex to fuck off and he does
>next year A,s dad dies go to his funeral with class he hates that im there when he comes back its all be nice to A he is going through a very tough time dont even talk to him even tell him im sorry for what happened he just doesnt respond and makes up more shit would join in on chasing games with M and my friends who dislike him and just go for me and would cheat and hit me get told to fuck off by a friend of mine he makes more shit up and me and friend get in trouble.
>>27316942
I remember one from first year of secondary school about the dangers of playing on railway lines. One of the ending scenes showed a slightly distant view of a cop picking up body parts and putting them in a bin bag.
I got a lot of shit back then because I thought it was pretty cool.
>>27316936
swimming lessons were definitely the point where my life started to go to shit. i just couldn't do it and everybody noticed and it made me feel so small
you are now remembering being cosy on a double-decker bus, two-hour coach trip. you have drawn the curtain on the window and it's raining out, and you're with your mates and a girl you fancy is in your little part of the bus too.
>>27316824
i remember this mate
>>27316935
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LvLn9PWln8
I'll be yer dawg
>have some talk about dangers of smoking
>see some kids have a cig round side of school
>they ask if I was twos
>babble about the health risks and how i'll never smoke and shit
>they look shit scared that i'll tell on them
>not a grass so I say i'm not going to tell
>one particularly hard kid gives me a look of mutual respect
>a "aint nobody gonna fuck with you ever" look
>he becomes friends with a load of hard ids in secondary school
>one of them goes to pick on me but my mate back them off
>he says "no lads, anon's cool"
>always had the respect of the hard kids becauae I allowed a 9 year old to smoke
>see him sometimes getting wankered in town
>he still gives me that look
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nVTcVgLUQU
>tfw you'll never be able to be on Fun House
>you'll never fuck the twins
>you'll never be Pat Sharpes mullet
Why even go on?
>>27316935
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNPMYRlvySY
>Teacher wheels this bad boy into the classroom
>Everyone high-fiving because they get to watch a video about fucking icebergs or something for 20 minutes instead of read about icebergs
>Invariably the teacher is from the 11th century and cannot operate a video recorder if their fucking life depended on it
>>27316345
>that one english kid at school who tried to start a civil war at primary school
>>27316936
bus rides and coach trips sitting next to your m8 was very comfy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUKCWNx9dj0
You will never see this ident on ITV again.
>Tfw the Southampton studios got torn down and apartments sit in it's place
>>27316936
>shit at every sport
>always just a skinny kid who was slow at running and had bad hand eye coordination
>still fucking og swimming pro
>in the county team by year 4
>fucking kids up left and right with my front crawl
>going to school galas and beating the other primary kids before they're even onto their second length
I fucking loved swimming lessons, the one time I was just infinitely better than my classmatesstopped at around 15/16 though, when everyone went through puberty I stayed a fucking manlet and could never get past nationals
>>27317128
>>27317128
Ever see this one? Fucking scared the shit out of me when I was a kiddie. Still gives me the creeps now somewhat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKAjgqqS74s
>age 14
>some fucking cunt kicked a stone at me and managed to crack it straight on my fucking temple
>use mate's jumper to clean off blood because it's fucking funny and I'm a 14 year old asshole
>obviously concussed, feel like crap
>breaktime bell rings and we go to Maths class
>maths teacher fucking hates me
>don't feel so great
>put head on table
>"Anon sit up!"
>grunted at her and slumped back up
>"Anon got hit in the head with a stone and is bleeding, miss!" mate tries to stick up for me
>"Anon is just trying to disrupt the class for attention." teacher doesn't even look over properly to see blood all over my head and hair
>eventually can't hold self up any more and slam face into desk
>sleep
>wake up briefly to "Anon is really cold, miss!" "Shut up!" and flake out into unconsciousness again
>violently shaken away by teacher to an empty class room
>lift head and she finally sees blood fucking everywhere
>she freaks the fuck out
>put jacket on and leave, skip registration and walk home (fuck knows how)
>leave her standing there in horror with a table caked in my scabby blood drips
>got home, showered until the blood stopped, went to bed, woke up next day feeling like nothing had happened
>turned out she was too chickenshit for her job to even bother phoning my parents and make sure i was ok/got home safe
>she never fucked with me again though, I never did any of her homework assignments, and she never EVER called me up on it
Someone told me she had a complete breakdown the year after I left. I hope she still relives that day.
>Year 9: Much ado about nothing
>Year 10: Romeo and Juliet
>Year 11: Of Mice and Men
Anyone part of that era?
>>27317066
somewhat related
>secondary school
>actually pluck up the courage to ask to go for a piss
>they say yes
>sprint down the stairs ready to burst
>get into the toilet
>some chav is sitting there with a qt smoking
>'oh hey, if you need a piss she can go outside'
>n-nah, i'm just out here w-wasting time
>immediately leave
>realise that the other closest toilets are ages away
>struggle through the last 50mins of french with my legs crossed
>Be in rowdiest German class ever for some reason despite being a good student
>Literally 75% of the teacher's time is spent trying to regain order of the classroom because of like 4 chavvy kids constantly shouting "BEARD"
>Spend the whole time quietly reciting Fast Show sketches with your mate and talking about Cyber City Oedo 808
>Get a C in GCSE and never go to Germany
>>27316995
iktf all too fucking well.
I was actually fairly popular in primary school. Quiet, but was friendly with everyone. I swear from the moment I panicked during the first swimming lesson while everyone else already knew how to do it, my fate was sealed.
From Comp onwards, I was fucked. There was a brief period where I seemed to be "in" with the Chad's but now that I look back, I wonder if they were laughing at me. The only semblance of power I had in Comp was due to being childhood friends with the guy who turned into the most popular person in school. We didn't talk as much later on but if I saw him trying hard to impress the popular group by being a twat to someone, I could just give him a damning glare and you'd see his humanity return.
>try to go to toilet in school
>teacher stops me and says I need to ask first
>later at home
>ask mum if I can go to the toilet
>she laughs and says I don't need to ask
>>27316924
some intersex condition, i'm basically a hermphrodite, i had trouble with numbers, problems with co-ordination, speech issues, brain problems with understanding words, i couldn't drink like a normal kid and had to use a straw, my growth was super weird, my heart is fucked up, braces from 13-17 due fucked up teeth... i normied out a lot as i grew up and became weirdly androgynously attractive (i am functional now, my health problems went away or minimised to nonexistence and i learned workarounds for the developmental stuff, and an artificial injected puberty stabilised my growth and physical development) but childhood was hell... try that in a town of 30k people in a largely rural county
>>27317249
Yeah except Year 9 we did When The Wind Blows which was fucking terrifying
I remember everyone going apeshit when these were given out.
>>27317249
Ours was Animal Farm, OMAM, Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet and then Jekyll and Hyde
>and I get to tend the rabbits
>>27317211
I miss when public information adverts were scary.
>long time friend from secondary school now works in my primary school as a teaching assistant
>she gets to live the primary life in your primary school and you never will again
>>27317145
Especially long ones where you were allowed to bring gameboys and stuff, or wear clothes out of school, felt like actually hanging out with them out of school.
>>27316915
Holy shit! My mum used to wake me up for school and I'd learned the way from the bedroom to the living room fire with my eyes closed. I used to stumble nekkid to the fire and sleep in front of it until she forced me to put some clothes on. That advert ruined ENTIRE WINTERS of fire-nap time. Fuck that advert.
>>27317249
>top set for english
>going through mice and men
>class is quite solemn and quite going through lennie getting shot
>go to lunch and mix with the lower set plebs
>LOL LENNIE GOT BTFO
>go along with it, the only comfort being that i will pass and they won't
>>27317255
>in high school
>fire alarm rings
>yell out "SAVE THE ROSES!"
>girl I had a crush on in the back laughs
Fast Show was the best.
Sally...man she had big tits. We nearly saw them as well when we had science class outside and she was sat leaning over in such a way that we could see right down her top
Me and my mate were constantly elbowing each other and looking like "fucking hell are you seeing this mate? I'm fucking seeing this mate"
>>27317292
>basically a hermaphrodite
pls b in london
Did yours have babies?
>tfw reading this thread and realising how out of touch with you've become with your own culture due to little social contact and constant consumption of foreign/online media
>>27317255
>Cyber City Oedo 808
mein neger
how old are you
>>27317350
That big red fucking Chad bull, fuck him.
>>27317309
>had the white one
>called it hedwig
>got home and made a nest with twigs and shit for it
>mfw i had a sparkly bike deflector as a pet
it explains why im beta i guess
>>27317158
Fucking scummer lad
I miss Never Mind the Buzzcocks :(
>>27317189
Thats literally me. but I also got shit acne which meant I didn't want to take my shirt off in public
>reading aloud to the class
>"Crooks is a nigger"
>>27317292
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
Nplsbe
>>27317335
Here's a collection of some from the early 2000's. Pretty nostalgic stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9_KJ6ovu8E
>>27317255
We had the "BEARD" craze at my school, but it was based on a fucking ridiculous substitute we kept getting. South of England?
>>27317389
33 muthfugga
>It doesn't matter that I get teased and have little friends, I'll show them!
>They'll get bad GCSEs for just messing around and focusing on being popular, I will get good ones for my hard work
>I will go onto uni to get a good job and they go on the dole
>I will have the last laugh
>Turns out qualifications mean shit and its all about who you know
>They now have the social skills to pass interviews.
Being a swot was not worth it.
>>27317366
no
>when 'sacking' became a thing at my school- 2002? 2003?
>everyone went around just punching each other in the nuts
>get punched in the nuts
>haha they're internal and are just fibrous potentially cancerous nonfunctional lumps of tissue, suck my clitdick faggots
>get the nickname 'numbnuts' forever more
bring back the days of chicen scratches, chinese burns desu
>that kid who tried to climb the school fence but slipped and got half a foot of sharp metal stuck through his calf
>the time everyone had to stay inside because a weird man was seen nearby
>when a dog got onto the football pitch
>mixed sex PE in highschool due to taking Latin and it messing with schedule and actually getting to play hockey and not completely sucking
>when someone drew tits on my leaver's shirt not knowing i wore a binder
getting me nostalgic senpai
>John Steinbeck - The Pearl
AKA: The book that taught me, a former bookworm, to hate reading.
>harsh
>random
>boffin
>banter
>if you used these words in school you were hot shit
>Tfw Trigger Happy TV was talked about all the time
>Tfw hiding and running away from the teachers at break times who were keeping kids out of the buildings
Some good fucking times.
>>27317497
>tfw all the chav cunts ended up in the big local engineering company and are driving 15 plate cars
>tfw 3rd year of a meme degree and going nowhere
turns out those cunts always win. what a fate
>>27317442
Fucking hell that chlamydia one
>>27317470
East London / West Essex
I think it started off as like "Chinny Reckon" and went to "Beard" and then it basically took off as its own entity
Eventually you could "beard" anything at any point in any conversation or even use it as punctuation
My school was full of idiots but fuck me I used to piss myself laughing
>>27317543
"It's just BAN'ARRRR"
>drinking in the street as a teen
>3 cans of carling gets you pissed
>pass out on field with qt
>spend rest of week waiting for friday night again
I feel like of all the phases in my life, the park drinking one went by the quickest. It was also one of the best
>I need the toilet
>Why didn't you go during the break?
>B E C A U S E I D I D N T N E E D T O
WHY DO THEY NEVER FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT?
>>27317563
Ah, that's the other "beard craze"
Down here in Pompey that was "Beard on 'tache (with a little bit of mash)."
>>27317547
My love for late 90's and ealy 00's alt rock came from the Trigger Happy TV Soundtrack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z77hrg7pFN0&list=PLuBYqvVEcYn-mjZ5aioUZDChEPhGJau1D
>>27317617
>drinking cans with friends in bedroom
>pretend to be drunk even though that many wouldn't get you drunk
>When you were like eleven and your mate nicked some cigs
>You all share one cig together behind the shops
>french teacher breaks her leg ice skating
>substitute was old fat guy with big white beard
>its december
>he tries to get us to sing christmas carols in french
>people piss about
>french santa starts crying and puts his head on the desk
>the art teacher who smoked a lot of weed
>that teacher who ended up marrying a former pupil when she graduated
>that teacher every girl thought was hot because she was fresh out of uni
>the teachers who were married and got divorced and hated each other
>friday was chips day
>chocolate pudding with chocolate custard nigga
>turkey fucking twizzlers
>>27317547
Creating the Trigger Happy TV theme in Nokia Composer was the epitome of "cool".
>>27317623
if i ever become a teacher i will never do that
That hipsterish indie scene that arrived from 2006 - 2008
>Standing in the way of control
>THATS NOT MY NAME
>Whats that coming over the hill is it a monster?
>Anything from the Kooks
Where everyone had a bieber cut, watched skins, wore stripy polo shirts
>>27317647
The soundtrack was god-tier
>>27317665
>Tfw whenever that nokia tone played someone would shout HELLO?
Feeling smug as fuck when your class finally get a teacher to swear / burst into tears.
We locked our art teacher in a supply closet and left her crying in there until another teacher found her. I feel bad now, but fuck if it wasn't funny as shit at the time.
>>27317370
>Everyone at school thought that these things were alive
>>27317716
And when you got a new phone, changing the ringtone immediately was THE MOST important thing, just to avoid exactly that fucking scenario.
>>27317724
I accidentally kicked my teacher in the face, he called me a cunt because he thought I'd done it on purpose and I went down in history as the absolute madman
>happy slapped a girl
>got after school detention for a week
>missed so many episodes of my parents are aliens
was shit as fuck tbqh
>>27317470
Substitute teachers, poor them. I feel sorry for them now, looking back. They were ripe for annihilation, and they just did that as a job, get bullied by kids.
Except the ones that would try to be cool and scrap the teacher's lesson plan and just talk with everyone, then it'd backfire on them because they'd say something dumb and people would ask them teasing questions. They deserved it for trying too hard.
>>27317552
I know this feel all too well hombre
>>27317707
Kate Nash and Lily Allen too.
>locking people in outdoor PE supply room
>a group of lads feel extra banterous one day and knock a teacher in there
>200 of us all sprinted as far away from the door as possible
>teacher never saw who pushed her and none of us 200 ratted them out
>had the teacher for maths 10 minutes after she got out
>everyone jokes a teacher is a paedophile
>he actually gets found to have indecent images of children on his computer
fuck
When the teacher's phone would go off and they have the old midi style of ring tone and everyone would tell them to switch their phone off and ask why they're allowed to have a phone.
Making the shit-tier Tracy Island from the instructions on Blue Peter because your parents wouldn't buy you the god-tier one from Toys-R-Us.
>>27317815
>When the sweet old guy teacher got accused of being a pedophile by some assholes out of nowhere
>rumor spreads
>he's now the pedo teacher.
>the actual pedo teacher always turns out to be someone different.
>the chad banter one of the lads teacher who actually fucked a few of the stacies
>Mate leaves a sandwich and his P.E. kit in his locker for several weeks
>Unbelievable stench permeates everything
This thread has been amazing.
This was a great thread but we're approaching the end, rip ;_;
Goodnight fellow britbongs, I'm glad we'll always share this culture together on this website
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FRyhGx9ygo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlSFELEA1uA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6cLMIeToaM
>tfw watching Jonathan Creek
>ask your dad what's happening
>"I don't know, I've seen as much as you have!"
I bet you lads that if you go and watch JC on netflix now you'll still remember how 90% of that shit was done like 20 years after it was on.
>>27316995
Honestly, yeah. I'd say it was the turning point
>Changing rooms
>People notice I'm embarrassed and always hiding myself in my towel
>They'd always snatch my towel from me so I'd have to be naked
>Have to be in the shallow end
>still can't swim in it
>Used to get looks and stuff
>Everyone else would hang out by the deep end
Eh, at least I wasn't the kid with the arm bands.
>some guy invites everyone to a disco for his birthday
>a lot of people started getting second hand nokias from their parents at this point
>everyone exchanges numbers
>people bring phones to school for no reason
>keep mine in my pocket
>didn't know silent mode existed so i waited until the teacher went out of the room and got to my contacts list
>scrolled through at random
>got a text lined up for someone in class
>send just as teacher walks in
>their phone starts ringing
>everyone started doing it to each other
>was like a mexican standoff with phones when a teacher left the room
>phones eventually got banned
>>27317953
>school disco
>everyone just running and sliding on their knees on the dance floor
>>27317873
>get a big flashy backpack for starting year 7 like the nerd i was
>get to end of the year
>leave orange in school bag over summer holidays
>it goes mouldy and the skin sticks to my school jumper and the bag
>explosion of blue spores
>all has to be binned
>mum is angry, backpack was expensive
>>27317924
Goodnight bro.
Heh, we'll probably have dreams about this shit tonight.
Ugh. Thread has hit image limit
>>27318015
I hope I dream about being in primary school again, they were the best days of my life
>for PE the school divided each year into classes of 20 (easier to split into teams)
>was done alphabetically, and classes were all boys or all girls
>get put in the 1 mixed class of about 9 people because my surname begins with W
>had to play netball instead of rugby and football because of girls in class
>>27317522
>suck my clitdick
kek
>>27318048
Same here, although they started turning shitty by the end of year 5 and start of year 6
>When in year eleven all the cliques kind of disbanded and everyone just talked to each other
>That school trip where all the other schools in the area arrived as well, you recognize some people on your first day of secondary school from that trip
>That long distance trip where you made friends with someone from that area and never saw them again
>That crowd of people who were into the same things as you were and you never made friends with them out of fear of being TOO weird
>When you go to college and people start talking about shit you like and make internet references
>When the coolness wears off in like a week and it gets old
>>27317953
>calling your mate in the other class and watching him get sent out through the classroom window
absolute classic
>>27318084
I feel this entirely, all of a sudden kids were socialising outside of school with phones and learning to dress better and soon we were left playing catch up on secondary schol
>>27318087
>>That long distance trip where you made friends with someone from that area and never saw them again
Had this when I went on a college trip to Calshot in 2004. Got their numbers which I've long since lost. Wonder hw they're doing these days?
>go on /r9k/ nostalgia thread
>realise that life has never been as enjoyable, effortless or funny as it was in school in the 90s and likely never will ever again
>nothing left to look forward to now but the peace of the grave
>>27318137
For me that was the second secondary school hit and I was still playing video games and stuff and they were getting into smoking and drinking.
A mate of mine ended up with this giant fucking reel of large stickers to promote a fucking nobody band. They were handed out and stuck all over the city.
School said anyone caught in possession on them would be expelled. Next class we dangled him by his ankles out the window of the first floor maths class so that he could stick one to the school sign.
It was there for 11 years before they changed the sign.
>all these people can remember their childhoods
Fucking hell mates I'm only 25
>>27318137
Pretty depressing really. From year 5 onwards I was always the outsider. More the on the outside looking in type.
Also
>That kid who could get away with anything because their parents worked for the school or was a governor.
>playing football in PE
>girls playing lacrosse or some meme sport on pitch adjacent to ours
>they're checking us all out
>a fucking failure of a sportsman so I gotta kick it up a notch if i want some of that sweet admiration
>in net because it's for the plebs of footy
>doing some sweet diving saves
>goal kicks covering most of pitch and landing at teammates feet
>turns out i can do sports shit if i have women watching me
>they're visibly aroused
>like literally biting their lip at me
>some bruiser on the other team sees this and gets jealous
>smashes the ball right at me
>try sticking my hands out in front of my face
>lose balance and fall over
>ball doesn't even hit me, i just lost my balance out of fear
>lay on floor and hear ball ding off the crossbar
>ball bounces down and hits me on the head
>it rolls into the net
>girls weren't interested anymore
>>27312506
desu its hundreds of times better than the american schooling. According to americans, middle school was the worst part of their life. Year 7-9 was live af. "Best education system" my arse. Did they get to play conkers? I dont think so!
>>27318145
>memories of primary school are always warm, bright, and happy
>nowadays it's a constant grey monotony
how did this happen? I used to enjoy waking up and thinking about what fun things I'd be doing at school, now it's just a dull grind
>>27318178
that's fucking brilliant
>That young teacher that tried to be cool
>That young teacher who was actually cool
>That substitute teacher that was always around and their job was basically be the school's substitute teacher
>That old teacher with the really boring lessons who was stuck in their ways
>The teacher with the dusty old classroom
>That eccentric weirdo teacher, usually science or RE
>That fat female PE teacher
>The muscular male PE teacher
>The old PE teacher who couldn't go anymore
>The teacher everyone thought was a pedo
>The teacher with a lazy eye or a limp or whatever that everyone made fun of
>The performing arts teacher who didn't give a fuck about anyone but their afterschool drama/music club kids
>The teacher you always saw around but never had
>The teacher that still treat you all like primary school kids
>The teacher nobody liked but you did.
>>27314011
ayyy
know dat feel senpai
>my mum having to remind every single fucking teacher i had once of twice a year that I was fucking hard of hearing, and that if I asked them to repeat something, it wasn't because i was ignoring them!
>>27318208
When I got to high school is where my life was ruined desu. Dropped out at 15 and it's ruined me completely. I'm 29 in 2 months.
Primary and middle school were literally the best time.
Only 4 threads left before 404, feels bad
Quick, what was your vice in primary school? I was a huge yugioh fan, as well as beyblades if they hadn't been banned
Never got in to Pokemon cards
>Anyone who wasn't a chav was automatically a 'goth'
People called us goths, we were just like nerdy unpopular kids, there were actual skater/punk kids too that we didn't hang out with but they were called goths too.
Someone make a new thread quick!
>>27318284
Aircraft fanatic and still am to this day. Heh I remember nicking a book from the school library because it had a really nice looking cover art.
>>27318284
Pogs lad. Pokemon cards were middle school.
>>27318298
We were 'sweaties' probably because everyone had a black hoodie with a band album cover on the front
>>27318199
>mum was the schools goto lawyer
>got in a fight in lesson
>she has a word with the finance director and the head teacher
>I get away without even a detention, the other kid is suspended for 2 weeks
:^)
>>27318307
The magic will be gone if we start it up again anon
>>27318314
Down here we were all "grungers".
>>27318345
I have plenty of memories to go.
>>27318319
>Feminist teacher has feminist daughter with super short hair
>Girl is always getting me in trouble
>Told her mum on me because I was taking too long in the toilet one time when I had the shits
Fucking hated that bitch
![mmjjsssc[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/PMpvM8r.jpg "mmjjsssc[1]")
![IC354451[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/CPSEPzI.jpg "IC354451[1]")
