Have you ever wanted to leave the NEET, hikikomori life? Well I did, so I thought I'd tell you how it worked out:
Last year I used to be a skelly gamer weeb. I never left the house, would watch 2-3 anime a week, read tons of manga and play hundreds of hours of vidya.
At some point, I got sick of being skelly and decided to get fit. I bought a pull up bar and did pull-ups, chin ups, push ups and squats every single day. Also started eating more.
At the end of the year, I made a decision to stop playing vidya and stop with anime and manga. I now bought a guitar to occupy the time and played 3+- hours every day.
At the beginning of this year my mother helped me get a job. It is 3 days a week for a decent amount of pay. It also requires a lot of social interaction so it started to normify me somewhat.
So now, how do I feel about turning my life around? The truth is that I felt great at first but the depression comes back within a month. Whenever I'm at work I legitimately want to kill myself. I just want to be back in my room playing vidya or watching.
When I think about it, it wasn't worth it. I started gaming again today and have been playing my guitar less and less. I also stopped being fit because face is all that matters anyway. Without escapism life becomes absolutely miserable for me.
I am continuing at my job for now but I'm saving nearly everything I earn. As soon as I have enough cash I'll quit and go full hikikomori again - this time probably for good. Real life is overrated.
>>27304662
> Have you ever wanted to leave the NEET, hikikomori life?
My only regret is that I still have contacts with awful people
I've made progress towards a better life, but it just adds an extra "why is my life better but my mind still depressed" feel to the pile
>>27304662
>Have you ever wanted to leave life?
FTFYAll the time
Fucking stop the presses, depression is a serious issue and is often the cause of problems rather than the result. The reason you are a hikki is because you are depressed, and not the other way around. The change has to come from within you, and not from changing the setting because the depression will come chasing you down regardless of where you are and how many girls you fuck.
>>27304662
Op, what are you depressed about? Is it something you can pin down? Mental Disorder? Childhood Suffering? Lack of Purpose?
>>27304854
I'm always depressed, kind of like it never goes away, always at the back of my head.
But if I could name a some problems I would say being relentlessly bullied in high school probably fucked up my mind a bit, and my dysphoria.
>>27305187
What kind of Dysphoria?
And I feel you, with the bullying. I spent my entire life being bullied by either my parents or school, there wasn't much peace. A lot of who I am from when I was younger is deeply repressed, locked away. Only reason I've grown into an outgoing person, by the standards of my youth, was a bit of good luck finding a few people who care and helped me grow.
>>27304662
I left the house and made friends. Then I broke them off and went back to the house. The house is superior.
>>27304662
You have poisoned your mind with cheap escapism and now everytime you don't feel comfortable you think about escaping to fantasy worlds.
You should do something about it
>>27305201
I don't know if I was using the right word there, but when I look in the mirror my face always looks terrible. For example, if I have one physical flaw on my face , I feel like it's gigantic. I look in the mirror and can see it morphing and growing if that makes sense. Whenever I look in the mirror I pretty much see a monster.
I'm also probably going to get hate for this seeing as we are on r9k, but I probably have gender dysphoria. As I grow older and look more like my father, it makes me want to kill myself. When I had to cut my hair for my job, I nearly cried. I don't know why but I've also had that problem. I'm not going to get a sex change or anything because I know that doesn't help, but this is just one of the things that bothers.
Anyway, I'm glad to hear you found good friends. You sound like a genuinely nice person.
>>27304662
I'm thinking about joining FFL, tried having a normal job many times over the years and I always end up being a fucked up NEET for months because I hate these fucking people, its been a year already
If you learn pick up you don't have to get a job to 'be social'
>>27304662
Anon you can't stop now
I'll sound like a turbonormie now but whatever. You already did the hardest, which was taking the first step, you can't just give up on everything you worked for in the last few months, don't waste this oportunity.
Of course you can play vidya and watch anime, but use it as a form of entertaniment and not scapism. Also try to make some friends and get a gf, that will boost your confidence, and since you are somewhat fit now, you only need to work on your words.
Good luck senpai, become a normie and leave this shithole
>>27305399
Sounds like you have a similar issue to me, though more aggressively presenting itself. I have a hard time looking at myself, I have a hard time accepting who I look like, so I try to avoid it.
It is definitely a form of dysphoria, and r9k or not, I ain't about to bash you over it. Best advice I can give you is try to be who you imagine yourself as. If you are more feminine, embrace it, become what's known as a Dandy, they skirt the line between M and F and embrace what many would call a bit of a strange lifestyle.
Biggest mistake most people make, is trying to become someone else, Anon.
And thank you, I try to help others, it's one of the ways I feel more like myself, as corny as that can seem at times.
>>27304662
Well OP, have you considered doing both? Keeping fit, playing guitar and watching animu/playing vidya at the same time? I get depression when I have to work or study all the time as much as when I go full neet during summer. The problem here is monotony.
Also don't give up on anime or vidya they're just so good
>>27305399
You got that body dysmorphic disorder homey.
Ruined my life desu.
>>27304679
>my only regret is something I can fix simply
>everyone helpful
>comfy thread
>>27304710
Good thing depression is permanent and never goes away
>>27304662
>Have you ever wanted to leave the NEET, hikikomori life?
Nope, I love it. Wouldn't trade it for any job.
> As soon as I have enough cash I'll quit and go full hikikomori again
Absolutely smart OP. You can make it!
Do you have more energy being fit?
>>27307377
Yes you do, although it begins to fade. Depression hampers that energy.
>Have you ever wanted to leave the NEET, hikikomori life?
Every day, I want to work myself to exhaustion. I need to make proper steps towards such a goal, though. Currently, doing odd jobs for people nearby then retreating to waste more time on the internet isn't doing the job.
I want to be so busy, all the time, that I don't have time to think.
