Who ACTUALLY depressed here.
I'm fucking tired all the time, I never go to any of my classes because of this. But I don't care anymore because I plan on offing myself this summer
Share your problems robots.
I dont fear death anymore.
>tfw depression has started manifesting itself physically in the form of constant muscle fatigue
I'm only still alive out of guilt and cowardice. Every sober minute is agony, but drugs just protract this sad shitshow.
I think I'm ready to try the actual meds, but I don't honestly expect them to work.
I sleep for like 16 hrs a day and my ex-gf gets really angry at me. She doesn't believe I spend all that time sleeping, she thinks I'm just ignoring her. Every day is the same conversation.
>so you've been sleeping all this time?
>yes
>for 16 hrs?
>yes
>you've been asleep for 16 hrs?
>yes
>seriously? for 16 hrs?
>tfw skiving yet another day of college
my attendance is fucked guys what should I do
Diagnosed at the age of 14 but I don't know if I have a physiological defect or just had bad circumstances...
Get too little sleep rather than too much.
Depression is purgatory, anxiety is hell.
I just wish for an apocalypse to happen. So if I die then be it and if I live, then I can start over. I hate this hand that I've been dealt with.
>>27301621
I've been up for maybe 40 hours.
>>27301417
why not try a dose of shrooms, lsd, dmt, or ketamine before offing yourself?
>>27301586
start going to class
why are you skipping?
>>27301655
Don't listen to these normie fucking lies, hallucinogens will make any real robot miserable.
>have 2 jobs
>super depressed
>have no friends
>family forcing me to move out
>probably gonna just quit 1 job
>hopefully keep the 2nd job
>lost all motivation
>cant even talk to anyone
>legitimately get nervous around people
>cant even talk to women
>sleep for 6 hours and stay up for 20
>cant even sleep unless I drink or smoke weed
i want off this ride
How are you going to do it, OP?
>>27301655
Well I constantly have this feeling of "I just can't be arsed" whenever I fucking wake up at6 in the morning
I don't even care if they kick me out because I won't be happy with my life either way.
>>27301687
yeah, it's a much better idea to just keep being miserable and then off yourself
>>27301417
C L I N I C A L L Y D I A G N O S E D B O Y S
Spend most of my free time drinking and fantasizing about killing myself tee bee haych family.
>>27301655
>why not try a dose of shrooms, lsd, dmt, or ketamine before offing yourself?
That can be surprisingly hard to get depending on your living situation. You're lucky to find a good weed dealer if you're deep in the rural areas of America.
>sleep schedule is entirely fucked
>sometimes go to bed at 6pm and wake up at 3am
>other times stay up all night and sleep til dinner
>today was somewhere in the middle
>wake up at 11
>lay in bed for an hour on /r9k/
>it's 12, too early to be drinking
>wait for an agonizing 3 hours before i decide fuck it
>get drunk at 3pm
>still drunk at midnight
and yes i was diagnosed with major depression (although it may be manic depression) a couple years ago. my grandpa had severe manic depression and went absolutely crazy, pretty much following in his footsteps at this point
>>27301743
The options you presented were suicide or suicide preceded by a period of terror. I'm suggesting just the suicide.
>>27301489
>That feel
Too many times a day do I have to take some real long sighs just to take the weight off my shoulders.
>>27301540
She's your ex, just don't talk to her at all.
Kids?
>>27301768
a period of terror.. hmm.. i guess if you dosed stupidly and were in a terrible environment without a killswitch for the trip, maybe
i also made my suggestion assuming op wasn't an idiot though
>>27301816
Would you just fuck off with your junkie bullshit? Not everyone's into drugs take your stupid bullshit to someone who cares.
Not even that guy.
Depression almost seems like an incorrect way to describe my feelings. It's self loathing, some anxiety, and a fuckton of hatred for humanity. I want everyone to kill themselves.
>maniac depression?
>tfw stopped getting hard
can't even jerk the pain away anymore
>>27301816
If you weren't too much of a convoluted ass to see it, you would understand that OP as someone who's fucking suicidal isn't capable of engineering a proper set and setting. Think of that, you fucking mongoloid?
>>27301540
I know this feeling so bad. She bitches at me constantly and I get why. I understand it and I fight it but goddamn. It goes away when I see my daughter but fuck, she doesn't know me yet. If I did it right now, she'd never know I existed.
>>27301461
>tfw the burden of depression temporarily lightens and your apathy for life makes way for pure panic about non existence and eternity
>tfw can never be in the middle
>>27301863
that's fine if you're not into drugs.
telling everyone that taking a hallucinogen will result in a terrible useless experience is just idiotic though
>>27301913
Seriously. Those kind of drugs are definitely not for the unstable..
Anyone else get diagnosed really easily? I always thought getting officially diagnosed would be much harder. All it was for me was talking to my doctor and saying this
>Whats wrong?
>I've been feeling down and want to stay in bed all day and do nothing.
>Have you thought about suicide?
>Yes, often
>You have depression, here's a prescription for anti-depressants. Next visit tell me if they work. Goodbye.
I don't think I'm depressed, but I don't think I'm apathetic either
I hate doing anything besides games but games don't interest me anymore beyond short bursts that quickly grow tiresome and more time killing
I don't have the money to see a psychologist or whatever and antidepressants turned my dad into a complete bipolar asshole that took a giant metaphorical dump all over my happy childhood by making my puberty a living hell so hard I wasn't even phased by all the hormones it also made his dick limp
>>27301913
a proper setting can literally be your bedroom with the lights off/dimmed.
>>27301956
I only know that last bit because my mother told me forgot to mention I'm highly keen to not look bad so I guess I could potentially have social anxiety but I never shut up when I start talking or I sound stupid but I just babble and try not to be nervous
I literally smoked and drank myself into a coma every day this past school year and now I've finally flunked out....well time to tell my parents the good news! Best thing is they don't "believe" in depression...
>decide to kill myself in Montreal this weekend
>order a gram of heroin to kick things off with
>frantically write a memoir in a caffeine and nicotine binge
>read it over
>realize it's utter shit
>want to kill myself even more
>get inspired to join the YPG
>cancel my dope order
>remember I'm just a dumb fatass kid who doesn't have any utility in any form
>feel numb
>decided to go to the doctor and see if their medicine helps any more than mine did
If it doesn't, I think I'm done. I feel like I can't physically take this any more. So many people online have called me a faggot today, and they're all precisely correct.
>>27301894
Unadulterated hate for mankind
>>27301964
Good job ignoring the other part of the fucking equation. A suicidal robot will not have a good trip. That shouldn't be difficult to get into your thick skull.
>>27301540
Why would you care if your EX thinks you're ignoring her? She's your ex ffs
>>27302029
and i completely disagree with you. regardless, there are ways to end a trip within a few minutes if it goes south, so it's not really much of a risk to take. i have no idea why you're so angry about this
t. formerly suicidal robot
>>27302074
Fuck off retard. And yes, he could have benzo's or antipsychotics just in case. But what's the fucking point if that's the vastly most likely scenario? Admit it, you aren't a real robot. No one who uses that fucking t. thing is.
>>27302123
it's not the most likely scenario
>>27302092
You should probably let her know that.
>>27302138
Yes it is, if he's an actual robot.
>>27302152
how do you figure? sincerely curious
>>27301417
Just wait, it'll pass. I was so depressed last week. I stubbed my toe really hard, forgot my lunch at home, so I had to eat out, and then on on the way home I got a flat tire, and I had to call my girlfriend to pick me up. Completely terrible day, and I was depressed about it at the time. But now, I'm pretty much almost completely back to normal. They say depression never truly goes away, and there is no cure for it, so I'mn sure I'll get depressed in the future.
But just remember no matter how depressed you are, it will pass. You'll never be cured, but things can still get better, even if they're never at 100%.
idk how it happened.
Like one day I;m going along doing just fine.
I'm not super happy but I'm getting by. Getting my classwork done at least. Going to school. Feeding myself. Keeping my apartment cleaned.
Then 3 weeks later I'm sleeping until 2pm, skipping all my classes, blowing off assignments, playing video games, shitposting, and jacking off until 4am. Eating the easiest most microwaveable stuff I can find only when I absolutely cannot stand the hunger anymore.
Nothing changed. My routine is the same, I experienced no great loss or shift in emotional stability. Just one day I'm fine and the next BAM here's 3 months of depression. Good fucking luck with university!
>>27302169
Anyone with legitimate claim to the title will have significant enough problems with anxiety and self loathing that psychedelic exploration will end badly.
i'm depressed.
i just feel empty right now. my best friends live thousands of miles away. and my other best friend is married with children, so he doesn't have time for me......
>>27302206
Depression is not the same thing as anxiety. Do some fucking research and educate yourself you ignorant piece of shit.
>>27302230
When I was in high school I had two friends, until one of them got his soul sucked out of his cock by a fucking succubus. I'm not some wizard playing pretend, but this woman must have had some kind of magical oral capabilities because she completely changed his personality just by sucking him off. That or teenage boys are just horny.
He even recognizes it now, they broke up and he resents her for basically wasting his entire time at high school, and she banged a random guy at a party two weeks later.
>>27301540
Get meds and wait for her to find them, she'll see that you're depressed and feel bad for you. Maybe free sex.
>>27302201
it's an easy slip from "doing just fine" to depressed if you don't have friends and family to keep you company.
>>27302206
you just repeated yourself though, like, do you have any reasoning behind why you think this?
psychedelics have been shown to significantly reduce anxiety/depression in many people. and as far as dissociatives go, there are operating ketamine clinics that treat people for mental disorders such as severe treatment resistant depression.
i'm not suggesting that it's for everyone, obviously, or that everyone should take drugs
but if someone is honestly at the end of their rope and has found no treatment that works and is going to kill themself in a few months, i genuinely think it'd be a good thing to try. it's worked wonders for myself and many other people
>>27302249
A real robot will have both. A real robot is depressed, full of anxiety, is full of self loathing, and accomplishes next to nothing. You can't be a confident successful person and pretend to be a robot. Stop claiming to be, it doesn't make sense.
>>27302201
It's just a phase. Everyone goes through it. You're just feeling sad about being away from home. No, you're not a special snowflake, and no you don't have a "mental disorder". Just move on, make some friends, meet some girls, and have some fun (don't forget to study too) and you'll be amazed at how fast the "depression" goes away.
>>27302296
The disassociatives are used with micro dosing, that's entirely different. You don't take a tripping dose, just a few milligrams. My problem is that people act as if it's a cure all for everyone and it very much isn't, and I resent people spreading that misinformation.
>>27302189
Mate, you can't really equate having a shitty day to me wanting to end my life for an entire year, regardless of the positive message.
>>27302189
>girlfriend
Nice b8
And if you're not baiting, I've felt this way consistently for 1 and a half years.
If only I lived your carefree life
>severerly depressed since 3 or 4 year, cant even remember anymore when it all started and why
>drop out of school because i cant concentrate anymore and feel like shit all the time
>get apprenticeship in IT
>think it will get any better
>thanks to meds i get some weight
>first day of work everything went better than expected
>after 1month i have to talk to my boss
>shes a women, tells me if i dont want to lose weight because im looking ugly
>feelsbadman.jpg
>cant lose weight because of the fucking antidepressants
>after 3months they kick my out of the job despite me doing a good job
>life is getting worse and worse
>2years now have passed and i was outside for like 10 times in this 2 years
>want to kill myself but im too afraid to do it
>all im doing is reading currently and nothing else
fuck i hate my life
>>27302305
fuck off and die you armchair psychologist.
don't fucking tell my being a friendless virgin at 26 is normal. don't fucking tell me that being anxious every time you step outside is just a phase. Don't fucking tell me to just make friends or just get a girl.
why don't you just put your head on a railroad track. or just blow your brains out
>>27302272
fellow /r/obot, i appreciate your reply more than you know.
i guess i needed to see someone respond to my post. thanks man
>>27302320
that's fine. i understand the clinics do it differently such as smaller doses and through an IV, but people who don't have access to a clinic have used ketamine the traditional way and found similar results
i also resent spreading of misinformation (i.e. every "true robot" is guaranteed to have a terrible experience with any hallucinogen/dissociative), which is what i was responding to in the first place
>>27302345
it's not normal but it's what you have
gotta learn to deal with that
>>27302322
Dude, I felt pretty fucking awful that day. Not suicidal, but still pretty fucking bad. You don't know me, so don't go on about how much "worse" your depression is than mine, because you have no idea.
The point was, I didn't let myself wallow in it, I just kept living life and fighting the bad feelings, and eventually the depression receded.
I'm saying don't give up hope, because things usually get better. And I don't feel like getting into a "whose depression was worse" contest with you, so knock that off.
>>27302355
Well someone needs to provide the opposing opinion, or OP will think that it is a magical cure all. I'm just the right asshole at the right dumbass time.
>>27302353
You're welcome. My reply isn't worth anything. His name was Todd. We shot guns and smoked weed together. He was a pretty cool guy. I'm never going to talk to him again.
>>27302380
You're a fucking moron. Being sad for a day isn't being despressed, you fucking imbecile.
>>27302345
Well, you said that you were only depressed for 3 months, so that's what I was going with. 3 months of depression is easily in the phase categorization, especially for a kid just starting college. It's like the whole thing with kids at summer camp, for the first couple weeks they're all "depressed" but once they start making friends and having fun, they love it. Same thing with college kids, only sometimes it takes a little longer.
>don't fucking tell me that being anxious every time you step outside is just a phase
Sounds more like agorphobia than depression.
>>27301540
So many fucking NORMALFAGS GET OUT
>>27302380
Not him but anyway
Yea you had a really shit day. But imagine having days like that every week for years, feeling the way you did whenever you wake up.
That's how a lot of people here feel all the time. Personally, I've had this for 2 years now. There is definitely a way out of this, but killing myself is much easier.
Wait, are there people here who haven't been depressed since childhood?
>>27302404
>>27302322
>Taking the b8 this hard
>>27302404
>>27302420
It's the same feeling dude, even if it doesn't last as long. I know the feel. I've been depressed for longer times too in the past, but I learned how to just shake it off and now it doesn't last so long now. I can get over it because I have hope because I know the feelings aren't going to last forever. So that's what you need to do. The depression will pass, trust me. Just keep living your normal life, and don't worry about the depression so much, and once you stop thinking about it it will go away.
I feel like I'm always in some "in between" transition state of being. Like ok, I've gotten through some shit and managed to improve myself a little, but I'm still really just as much of a loser as ever and accomplishing anything else seems like such a fucking longshot.
It's a real empty feeling. Like I exist in a void where nothing ever happens and no matter what I do or what direction I move in nothing changes.
>>27302427
I found a way to do what your picture describes. .25 milligrams of flubromazolam pressed into a smarties tablet. Tasteless crushed up and mixed into a soda. Makes all the feelings go away. And then you have a seizure when you run out. Don't take it.
>>27302422
Children don't get depressed, Depression can only be diagnosed after puberty. You might have been sad sometimes as a kid, but it wasn't depression,
>>27302455
You fucking know what I meant. And we both know it. You're just being a nitpicky cunt just because you can. You're just mad that I pointed out you don't belong here. Go fuck yourself.
>>27302406
get the fuck off this website. never come back.
I'm 25 you assumption making dr philggot.
I've been in college for 3 and a half years this is nothing new. My depression comes and goes from mild to severe, it's never just gone. I've been living in constant fear since I was 12.
If anything I have avoidant personality disorder. I've researched this more than you. I have access to just as much google as you do, but I actually have the motivation of life destroying mental illness behind me.
>>27302427
Oh hey I remember posting that pic on wizchan
>>27302443
Let me put it like this.
Imagine you accidentally cut yourself. The wound is pretty bad and it hurts loads, but within a week or so it heals up and you're glad it's gone.
For people like me, that cut just stays there for years and years and the pain never stops. Now, imagine how people like me feel when people like you tell us to just ignore it and carry on as normal.
>>27302474
I saved it from there desu
ty
>>27302478
I>>27302478
don't care how depressed you are, self-harm is not the answer. If you have gotten to the stage where you are cutting yourself, then you really should seek professional help.
>>27302474
But yeah, I'm pretty fucked up. I pretend Karen from Harvest Moon is my wife. I sleep with a stuffed doggy that I pretend is real. I see a therapist and I have debilitating epilepsy and abuse drugs. No friends, no nothing.
>>27302478
When I compared depression to chronic sadness, as in saying it was sadness which never went away, some complete normalfuck got all self righteous on me about trivializing depression.
>>27302505
I don't think anyone is stupid enough to fall for that bait. At least I hope not.
>>27302505
Okay yes it's b8
7/10 it was banter but fuck off still
>>27302469
Depression and fear are not the same thing. Fear is caused by anxiety. So, did you have depression or did you have anxiety? And now you are claiming you have avoidant personality disorder too?
Face it bub, unless those conditions were diagnosed by an actual psychologist, then my guess is as good as yours.
>>27302478
Look like I said I've been depressed for longer periods of time before. My longest was 3 months. So I know what depression is. So when something goes wrong in my life I can feel myself spiraling out and going to that dark place again. But like I said, you just have to remind yourself that the feeling will pass, and go on with your life. If you fixate on it you'll just go further down the spiral. Remind yourself that things will get better, and use that hope to hold on until things actually do get better.
>>27301417
Been depressed for years, bought $5 worth of weed walking home after getting my beer for the night a few minutes ago, bought it from a homeless guy on a whim even though I have a medical card in ca.
I thought I did him a favor cause he had a big bag full off weed and I bought a bit from him, feel better now, ready to sleep. Note the dog hairs...
>>27302614
That's some funky looking weed.
Should I just get on a bus and go? I've got like $4500. I could go on a bender and make that last a week or two. I don't know where I'd even go.
Take a fucking nap then my man.
If ur tired nap it up.
>>27301687
Will psychedelics make mental illness worse or something?
>>27302895
They have the potential too. If you have problems with anxiety, your experience will probably get uncomfortable, and things can turn on you very quickly.
>>27302895
For me they temporarily make it tolerable as I bask in the psychedelic afterglow yet after a week I usually go back to shit if I don't try to follow through on my lsd induced epiphanies
I can't decide if I should get help or continue on the path of drug induced self destruction.
>>27302994
I think I'll give help a little shot before I give in. I can always go back to the drugs, I can't come back to life.
>>27302762
it's decent...a bit under-cured, they'd probably charge $5 a gram for it at the dispensaries, here's a $15 gram of top shelf for comparison...
A girl has me fucked up. For the last few days I've barely eaten or slept. I went out last night with friends and couldn't get the frown off my face. My only consolation has been cigarettes.
It's 5:40 am now. I have to be at work at 7. I got 4 hours of nightmare riddled sleep and I'm having cigarettes for breakfast.
>>27302895
No, psychedelics are excellent for people who are healthy and active with a positive mindset, doesn't matter if you're a teenager or not, if you're mentally fit and you have a firm grasp on reality then you can imbibe on psychedelic drugs on a regular basis(4-6 times a month).
I'm in my mid 20s and I used to love psychedelics and hiking until I realized I didn't need a use for drugs anymore so I stopped as a teenager.
>>27301522
They won't help but they should help numb the feels for a second and get your emotions in check
You need to figure out what the problem is and eliminate it. Remember, some can't be helped and no one can be saved but the pain will cease one day.
