Are friends worth keeping around? I am having a harder and harder time wanting to keep a few that piss me off by the way they act. As in,
>oh hey anon iam going to hit you up later defiantly
then doesn't. And what pisses me off the most is seeing them having "fun" on their snap stories after just lying saying " oh iam tired iam going home to sleep " when all he could have said is " hey I don't have room/dont want to take you to this place so cya " I'd respect that more than lying to my face. Why is that such a common thing among dudes. They feel the need to lie to me just because they want to go to a party and can't or don't want to take me.
Why is it so hard to befriend people. It's not hard for me. I am a great friend but I've mostly got avg or shitty friends
>if so, why ?
Idk man, you sound a little butthurt. Who gives a fuck if you are starting not to like them anyway. Just go with the flow, maybe then they will be more likely to like you
>>27280185
Nigger I have only two friends for a very good reason.
Let me give you some advice. Get better standards. Not every acquaintance you meet and socialize with is your friend. Friendship and trust is earned, not given out and if you don't have loyal friends then they're not worth having around. Those selfish assholes consider getting faded and shitfaced with a bunch of other sheep to be the peak of human interaction. Normies are quick to call everyone they see their friend when they haven't had a single fucking meaningful conversation with any of them.
Never trust anybody unless they've proven that you can, and even then keep things just at 99% trust. Only then will you get real friends that you can keep; otherwise you'll just get used by shit people.
>>27280231
I am honestly a little tilted fambam. I am 24 and all my childhood best friends have been long gone. Moved away years ago and I've had to grow up and go to HS without them. So i had to make different friends and I am still "friends" with a few from that group. And those and a few others are the main ones that piss me off.
So being that I am alone a lot it sucks the soul out of me and I try to numb it with drugs and hanging out with friends and when I try to release the loneliness I get forgotten and/or not hit up. They don't answer my calls or texts. It honestly hurts. All I want is friends who are just normal non lying folks. Is that too hard to be honest with me.
Basically if I don't text or call I am not going to see anyone. Then I see their snaps of them having fun without me then it makes me feel like shit
One time in HS I was on the football team senior year. I hardly played and homecoming game I didn't play a down, then it got to me. I broke down and cried on the sideline knowing that after the game I'd go right home to be alone and play vidya when everyone else was going to party and get drunk. I just wanted a normal childhood with good pals and I never got it
>>27280185
Simple fix: make them contact you definitely instead of defiantly. Friendships shouldn't be defiant.
>>27280293
>I am honestly a little tilted fambam. I am 24 and all my childhood best friends have been long gone. Moved away years ago and I've had to grow up and go to HS without them. So i had to make different friends and I am still "friends" with a few from that group. And those and a few others are the main ones that piss me off.
Fuck em
>So being that I am alone a lot it sucks the soul out of me and I try to numb it with drugs and hanging out with friends and when I try to release the loneliness I get forgotten and/or not hit up. They don't answer my calls or texts. It honestly hurts. All I want is friends who are just normal non lying folks. Is that too hard to be honest with me.
Basically if I don't text or call I am not going to see anyone. Then I see their snaps of them having fun without me then it makes me feel like shit
Youll get used to the loneliness and even crave it sometimes like you are saying when you are out with retard frat fucks
>One time in HS I was on the football team senior year. I hardly played and homecoming game I didn't play a down, then it got to me. I broke down and cried on the sideline knowing that after the game I'd go right home to be alone and play vidya when everyone else was going to party and get drunk. I just wanted a normal childhood with good pals
Im sorry bro. All that shit is over rated anyway, try not to worry about it
>>27280285
OP
very good point anon. I need to do this. Push those "friends" into acquaintances. I think it will help. I def need to make my new friends earn my trust and I will need to see them earn that loyalty. You're right I used to want to befriend everyone because I am a very open social person at heart .
They are to a T what you said. Getting faded and thinking that is the zenith of human interactions. I def will use your words for advice and put it into action
>>27280320
But they lie. They say they will hmu and a lot of the time once dude always keeps to his actions and never calls/texts me back. Almost like 95% of the time. Unless I got bud or beer sadly.
>>27280344
checked em.
I've tried to say fuck em' and even back in HS I joined a different group for a few months because I had enough of their shit. Then made fun of me for it.
Oh I def don't crave loneliness yet but I can see myself doing it. But when I am out in a party I feel good but i do feel that craving at times
It's okay. It was 4 years of me going home playing vidya alone. I was used to it. Plus knowing what I know now about parties I am kinda glad I didn't go to a lot of parties only a few. I am glad because I partied myself out in college ( Cal State Chico ) and I am kinda over it.
But it's the idea of them seeing my texts and not thinking/caring about me enough to do anything that hurted me.
>>27280409
>But it's the idea of them seeing my texts and not thinking/caring about me enough to do anything that hurted me
Sounds like you need some new friends and quit giving a single fuck about these.Youve prolly realized they are shitheads anyway so who cares? Ill be your online friend if you wanna talk some
>>27280439
Lucky for me i got a new job i get to travel around the states so i'll make new friends but you're right I need new friends in my town but my family is moving and I will be out for work so I'll just chill for now.
Yeah they are shitters , but I care because I have years of "friendships" and they sometimes show their love but not a lot. A few times drunk one would say " anon you were my first friend when I moved here blah blah blad " then goes to ignoring my texts and not inviting me places. What a "friend" huh
anon you've always been my friend. Those nights I was alone and depressed you were here. Helping me. We've been friends for years bud. I wanna keep talking to my best buddies aka you guys. It's sad when I've never met any of you but I've had deeper and more meaningful convos on than I've ever had irl.
most of those are under me. They go to me for the " woah space dude " shit and it just goes over their heads.
So ty anon for being my true friend over the years .
pic is from one of my vent threads and one of you guys made this for me and those "friends" are the covered up ones
I cut ties with most of my friends, including my best friend and honestly life is a whole lot less stressful but I sometimes feel bad. I completely ghosted them, I heard that they thought I died. I sometimes have dreams about them coming to my house and being angry, which of course makes the next few days cuddled by sweet anxiety
>>27280509
why did you cut them out ?
sometimes I have the same idea to have a social suicide where they think I died
>>27280509
Reading my own post, I think there is something wrong with me or i'm just a shitty person. It's for the best I guess, I don't deserve anyone because this is truly how I feel. Soon as something gets even a little tough, I give up and hide until it goes away, and it looks like they've gone away
>>27280545
I don't think i belong, I hate the stress of social interaction, I hate the spontaneous things they do , it really messes me up and makes me nervous. I wanted to get away from all of that so I decided to ghost them.
>>27280552
umm you're not a shity person for it anon. I can totally understand doing that. It's what makes us human. I personally don't address my problems like that, I honestly go balls deep into my problems till they are gone.
>>27280575
reasonable. But you should def hit them up and say it's you and not them. And you should have a dinner or something with them soon anon. I bet they miss u
>>27280592
Even that is hard for me, I tried to tell them before but they brushed it off as me having some sort of low period. I cant even work up the courage to message them. Realistically i'll be kicked out of home soon anyway, NEET life has no future and I was either going to try the homeless lifestyle or kill myself somehow.
Idleness has ruined my life, I appreciate your advice but I believe i'm past the point of fixing this. I don't even know whether i'm going to leave them all each a letter explaining it.
I really hate myself for what i've done
>>27280185
I'm getting sick and tired of always being the one who has to organize or initiate any meets.
Its always
>oh it was great lets meet up again soon
Then I wait a month or two and nobody makes any gestures of even going out to eat or have a drink.
Then I get angry and after calming down I put messages out and
>oh that sounds great
Then its fun and this circle starts again
>>27280635
well as a person who has lost a handful of friends to drunk driving, gang shootings, an hero etc. Don't do it. They will miss you and think about you more than you think.
If you're going to be kicked out just plan on being homeless. Maybe one of your buddies can help you out and if they don't then they aren't a true friend cus a honest friend will be there when you need them.
but I hope things work out for you anon. Just keep your head up
>>27280636
I feel like my life is going to go this way. Months at a time not talking or seeing them. I guess that will be a good thing.
Have you bought up that you're always the one planning things ? because I am the same way If i don't hit them up then I don't hang out with them
>>27280692
Thank you, I really appreciate the fact you're giving me advice. I'm sorry but the an hero thing is staying as a possibility, even if it's just dying by being homeless. I'm useless and lazy with my current lifestyle, nothing much will change after I have no roof to sleep under. I'll try to meet my friends one last time before this all unfolds, just to try make things a little better.
Thanks anon
>>27280185
You seem to confuse friends and acquaintances. Most relationships are fragile and circumstancial. You most likely have 1-3 friends in your life at all times, maybe 6-7 max if you're anime protag-tier, the rest are all different shades of acquaintances.
>>27280716
Np bud. I've been in your spot that's how i know how you feel. Just don't give up, keep going till you can't anymore. At least you could say you never gave up.
Can you join the military ? I'd do that if I was you brother
and yes please talk to them. Maybe they can help you with a job ( my buddy got me my job ) I was a NEET too for two + years.
just keep trying anon. We aren't going to be famous or anything but maybe one day we will find the inter joy we are all so deeply looking for
>>27280753
you're right I think i put them into the wrong spot in my life. I need to have more acquaintances and less friends.
But how do I come about doing this?
>>27280185
No
Even the good ones will fuck you over, given enough time, pussy, or money.
>>27280857
Even the good ones? I have childhood friends I grew up with and I know fersure they wouldn't do that.
but you're right the other normie friends probly will if given the shot.
Throughout my entire life ive only ever had one friend at a time and that one guy has changed so many times throughout my life. Its always so fun and great for about a year or two and then we peak and i expect them to care as much as i do and we just drift away over nothing. But now that im out of school i feel like my currently drifting friend will be my last. Shit absolutely sucks man.
I dont understand why i cant maintain a friendship or have more than one friend at a time. I've never done anything really outstandingly bad to anybody i consider a friend.
>>27280692
I have. In one group they straight up admit that I am the central pillar keeping the group together, since everyone met each other through me.
In the other group they apologize their behavior and it goes smoothly for a while before degrading back.
I guess its just some type of anxiety, I've seen it in other people as well. They don't have the guts to be the one who organizes and plans shit out.
>>27280185
I'm not friends with this person anymore. He's one of the best of friends I've ever had. He was the best man at my wedding and I was the best man at his.
I've plenty of times told him that I'm tired and I don't feel like chilling. It's actually true, even if I was out at that point, if I felt tired and homey I'd go home and chill by myself. This would upset him but he has for fucking sure done the same thing too, though. So I couldn't stand him getting upset about it, I felt like he was being a little bitch.
I'm pretty loudmouth and I just say whatever I think, I know that used to annoy him. I'm pretty outspoken and I see how it can annoy someone.
Our big rift was caused by general life achievements or lack thereof. He spent big money on school and at this point has pretty much killed any chances of working in that field by doing some innocently stupid shit. This made him embarrassed and introduced a very weird dynamic into our friendship. I tried to be compassionate, but I think I was more "here's the advice you need to take" instead. At least that's how he felt, I'm pretty sure. At that time, I was doing exceptionally well without any formal education at that. Since that point on, he'd drown in envy if anything good would happen in my life. He'd act like he's happy but even in his eyes you could see his annoyance. This is bitch nigga shit.
The biggest issue for me was that he started talking shit about me to mutual friends. He was the only one I considered a friend, though. They would make fun of me. Someone talking behind my back about my shortcomings before talking to me first is gay as fuck.
He complained about me saying that I'm tired but almost every weekend he'd take his wife and would hang out with the mutual "friend."
Multiple times I've told him that I need to be told if I'm doing something that offends me, but he wasn't man enough to ever do that. He'd rather gossip about me behind my back.
>>27281029
Id like to have a friend like you man
Instead i have a friend who just ignores any problems we have and ignores me for a month when i do something he dislikes then come backs a month later like nothing happened
Why cant people just be honest when theres a problem?
>>27281029
Another thing is that he started spouting shit like "I'm meant to be alone, I like being lonely." This is cringy as fuck, but unfortunately it doesn't just end there. He started cheating on his wife via tinder and all the other slut centrals.
I hate his bitch wife. She gets offended at anything and everything while having extremely childish views on things. As much as I dislike her, she actually truly loves him.
Him cheating on his wife made me lose all respect for him and just find everything he does hilarious in a pathetic way.
>>27280320
Kekked audibly
>>27281083
Thanks anon.
I don't know if it's pride or some people are genuinely stupid but it's easy to say, "hey man, when you do x and z it makes me feel y, can we talk about this?" If you're friends, you should be able to talk like that.
>>27281174
I did that once man and the only response i got was
>im not interest in fighting. Not verbally.
And that was it. Like what the fuck dude?
