Why am I here? Why must I suffer the humiliation and embarrasment of waking day?
Am I suppose to have learned from the past 20 years of my life?
Am I suppose to live my life this way? Am I doing this because I am showing others what not to do? am I doing this because I am to show and teach humility onto others?
Why do I agree to this? Surely there has to be a reason I am like this.
WAS it suppose to be this way? My crippling anxiety and shyness has left cold dark and alone. I am at a point in ym life where I need affection most and am recieving it the less.
I wasnt made for this world. Take me as one and turn me into a star. I am done with this planet.
>>27275975
The black thread of fate connects us, anon.
Wallow in your mistakes you must not, for there is a path towards retribution. Firstly, you must abandon all occupations and devote yourself to forging a body that will please the iron God's. Retarded you may be, but alas young Virgin, there is hope for you yet.
Good questions...
Deep stuff.
I can slightly relate to your questions
Yeah the last 20 years were supposed to mean SOMETHING.
The answers are within you. If you dare to look deep within yourself and even then you probably won't like what you find.
>>27275975
>I am at a point in ym life where I need affection most and am recieving it the less.
Become suicidal and take out your anger on the world for not helping you.
I was diagnosed with panic disorder and extreme social anxiety. It was so bad that I would flush beet red just walking up to a check out counter. I'm on meds now, and it's a whole new world.
Maybe you need meds, anon?
OP, Life is pretty fucking terrible. Life is lonely and harsh and you have no idea why you get out of bed every morning. But you do, you just wish you would die in your sleep one night and that the terrible nightmare of existence would finally come to an end. But surely enough you wake up again the next morning and you're too scared to kill yourself, so your only hope is to randomly die in your sleep. It's fucking awful.
At any given time you can become tormented by random, intrusive suicide thoughts, and suddenly any ounce of contentment within your being has been squeezed out like a lemon thrown into a trash compactor.
You become the embodiment of misery, and you're so deep in the pit that you begin to suspect that this must be how reality is for everybody. It's like you're a prisoner in Plato's cave, and the sun is happiness. No matter how well someone describes it to you, you just can't believe that it exists. You just know in your heart that the world is a cold, hostile place where the concept of joy is merely an illusion. A mask people wear to hide their torment and suffering.
Depression has been the most integral part of your existence for so long that you begin to suspect that everybody, every single person must be secretly depressed. Even if it's a secret that they are keeping from themselves. So you keep on hoping every night as you lie down in bed that you won't wake up. But you do, you always do. And you know deep down inside that there is only one way off of this ride. It's just up to you to have the balls to push the off switch.
>>27276092
When I as 15, I spent my entire summer in my room. Being the bitch my mother was, she forced me to see a therapist.
The shame Of telling some 20 year old psych student all of my sad, worthless problems only made things worse. And the last thing I want is to remeber what I did about this
I promised myself i would never make that a burden on somebody again. Not my friends, family, or any proffesional.
Am stuck in my own body, and my body is stuck as a tombstone.
Yeah, i tried my meds. Gave up on them. Didnt work, couldnt hassle. Thought i didnt need them at the time.
the only difference before that chain of events and now is that I have learned my lesson about trusting anybody about your issues.
>>27276115
>It's just up to you to have the balls to push the off switch.
cuck
Let others free first them right?
>>27276115
Jeez. I wish there was a way I could talk to you, to be a shoulder for you or something.
Consider the following 3 options:
>kill yourself (not recommended)
>go to doctor, get evaluation, receive medicines that will fix your faulty brain chemistry
>drop everything, go monk mode for 2 months working on your body and mind
>>27276183
You've been let down. I'm so sorry, anon. You didn't deserve it then and you don't deserve it now. You need a life preserver, and no one is throwing you one.
I'm sorry. :-/
>>27276247
I wanna thank you for your condolensces.
Thank you, all robots. Your anonymous faces are the only ones I could ever dare confront.
