>parents just found out I've been pretending to go to uni for the last 3 years when I actually dropped out 2 years ago and have just been coaxing through life doing nothing on their money
>literally have 30+ missed calls from them and they won't stop calling
Oh shit, how fucked am I?
I actually met someone who did something similar
what are you going to do now friend?
This is not an r9k or 4chan . This is a 'shit person who deserves to die for stealing and lying' thing. Please go to prison and talk about this shit, even there they would beat you for doing that to your parents. Honestly OP, this isn't a joke or something people online can understand, you really really are a bad person and need to fix this.
You sound pretty fucked dude. Hope you had back up plans.
You're not fucked. You're just a failure and a let down in their eyes. They just realized their kid is a complete loser.
>>27274838
this seems like the plot form a Regular Show episode
>>27274903
they are paying for him to go college and he isn't, this is a big fucking deal, OP you better fucking get ready to do some real fucking sorries.
op the only solution is to go full madman mode
put on a big show for them
act depressed, unstable, suicidal, etc. make it look NOT like laziness and MORE like craziness. if you do, then you might even come out of this as a comfy neet
I did this for like three months. They will probably be more concerned that you're a complete fuck up with no life moreso than you wasted their money. Just apologize and move back in with them and try to get a job quickly.
>>27274923
I agree, they will be very angry at first, but it will slowly turn into sadness and guilt that they raised such a pathetic leech of a kid
>>27274950
Or put into a mental asylum
>>27274838
Exact same thing happened to my brother, pretended to go for like a year and a half. They yelled a bit and lectured and crap but they shouldn't mind too much. As the other guy said, act heaps depressed and they'll still love you.
>>27275004
This. I did the exact same. I even came out around $5k in credit card debt because I actually intended to kill myself last summer before they found out so I just spent.
If your parents love you they will help you get back on track.
>>27274968
America is the only country in the world where forced institutionalization is legal. Not everyone is American.
>>27274838
apologize and get a job
It's gonna be a bitch, but that's the best thing you should do.
Save up money, go back to school, graduate, get a good job, marry a girl, and show your parents that they didn't raise a complete fucking loser. They'll forgive you by then.
>>27275070
>If your parents love you they will help you get back on track.
Why? How much do they fucking owe this kid who has shown them that he is a unappreciative, selfish, liar who squandered what they probably worked their asses off for?
>>27275070
What did you plan to do when youre suppossed "graduation" came?
>>27275154
Because they are responsible for bringing him into existence?
>>27275188
I was supposed to be dead long before then
>>27275126
It is also legal in Canada.
>>27275154
>judging people on r9k
Why are you so mad? Literally calm down you emotional faggot.
>>27275127
Better to die free than live like a wagcuck
>>27274838
Play the depression card.
A man named Thomas Whitaker did that in Texas then ordered the murders of his entire family so they wouldn't find out. He's on death row now and runs a blog.
So you could have your entire family murdered if you wanted, then that way they won't find out.
>>27275320
that is the most based fucking sperg I've ever heard of tbqh senpai
>>27275320
>its real
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIr1DjuUziM
>>27274838
tell them you're addicted to heroin and want to get better
