HELP am I becoming a manchild??
I'm scared I am and I think I'm showing signs, can anyone disprove my signs and tell me its normal
im 22 btw (live with parents)
>started making my mum buy me cartons of chocolate milk, which I then carry around the house and drink casually
>you guys made me think chicken tenders are cool but I prefer nuggets, and I dip them in my choco milk when eating
>bought a plastic cup which I put choco milk in to drink when out in public (also eat nuggets in public too)
>only drink Sainsbury's brand choco milk
>bought a 3ds to play animal crossing
>prank call my mum every few days because I have no one else to talk to (typical "is your fridge running" level pranks)
>charge my mum 5p+ whenever she forces me to take trash out of my room (Sainsbury's plastic bags filled with trash cost 5p each)
>if she "doesn't have change" I steal 10p from her purse per plastic bag taken(100% interest).
>make my mum come into my room and change the heat setting on the heater because League makes me sweaty
>my mum still cuts my meat and my finger/toe nails
>she once set me up with her friends daughter(sally), when she came to pick me up (I dont drive but sally does), I shouted at my mum for not cutting my finger nails beforehand as a show of dominance and alpha-as-fuckery.
I still go to uni twice a week (skip morning lectures because I cant get up before 1pm) so I'm not completely NEET. Theres still hope for me right?
If anyone's interested I can tell you the story of my dates with Sally
>>27269626
Yes you are a HUGE manchild, however your life sounds pretty neat. How did the dates go?
Jesus mate, turn your life around. If you're going to uni then there is probably some hope and the fact you somewhat seem to care helps. What do you study at uni? Do you have friends?
>>27269626
Fake and gay. Stop RPing Chadwick
If you`re doing it with awareness and your mom finds it fun,then it`s ok.As long as you know how to apply whatever you`re majoring in uni,you`ll be fine.
>>27269626
Tell us the story of your dates with Sally you fucking faggot
>>27269953
I have some people that I talk to at uni, and people that I talk to on League and Steam.
i'm studying Early childhood studies which is pretty ironic in my opinion, and kind of brought me to realise I think im a manchild
>>27270021
I dont always dominate my mum and she's started to realise its me prank calling her all the time (I started laughing in my room and she heard me irl and over the phone once). She's never pressured me into getting a job but she wants grandchildren
>>27270026
I will in next post
>>27270132
BUMPING FOR INTEREST AND BLOX AND ROBOT IS A KEK ALSO HERE`S AN IMAGE OF FLUFFY ABUSE
my first date was the worst because I already knew sally from times I went over to her house with my mum, but I spent the entire time on my ds to teach her a lesson for throwing hers out when she "out-grew" video-games.
>So she knocks on my door and talks to my mum for a bit
>I put on my sunglasses before coming downstairs then shout at my mum for not cutting my finger nails
>I kiss my mum goodbye and walk to sallys car
>After shouting shotgun my mum calls me back to say hi to Sally, I say hi then run to her car
>Sally is actually older than me, about 26-7 and has already been divorced which screwed her up and thats why she's gone back to living with her mum
>In the car Sally asks where we should go, I reluctantly say pizza express
>my mum said I should pick a "classy" restaurant, even though the kebab shop down the road has the best pizza
>I spent the whole journey on my phone playing crossy road
>girls like the strong silent types
>we arrive at shopping centre with the pizza express
>tell Sally to wait here a minute as I knock on every amazon locker door to see if any are open (free stuff ftw desu)
>she tells me to stop because it would be stealing, I contemplate how to react and decide to say nothing but say "hmph" then walk ahead to pizza express
>We get seated and get given menu's
>I choose a pizza with a name that sounds like "faggi", and point it out to Sally and laugh
>she picks some gluten free thing and I cant help but cough and call her a "pussy" at the same time
>I then comment about how I can be faggi and she can be pussy. Neither or us says anything for about 5 minutes after that.
>Sally asks what I'm studying, even though she was there when her mum asked me what I was studying last time I went to her house
>This is the only redeeming quality I think I have because childless women nearing 30 really want kids, and I'm studying early childhood so bonus points to me!
cont. 1/?
>>27270441
It sure would be nice if this story were true. Regardless, you have at least one reader.
cont. 2/?
>she actually talks for a while about having kids which I really dont know what to think so I just sit there quietly
>we basically talk about things we already know about each other for another 10 or so minutes
>after a dead pause, I work up the courage to say she looks pretty
>she smiles and thanks me, saying I look handsome
>at this point im about to start openly hyperventilating from the stress of those last few moments and run to the bathroom (im not going to lie, I did do a naruto run, sorry guys)
>after shitting myself and washing my face for about 10 minutes, I get brave and walk back to the table
>our food had arrived whilst I was in the bathroom, Sally waited for me to come back before starting for some reason
>"you should have started as soon as it came, now its going to be below optimal temperature"
>she says its fine and wanted to wait for me
>I am now erect.
>we eat in silence except for one moment when she offered me some of hers but I say no because gluten free is gay
>after another 5 minutes of silence I ask if she wants a slice of mine
>she seems happy and takes a slice so I make a joke about how she cant have any because shes not a fag, but if shes lesbian it would be hot
>I try to laugh it off as she sits there looking confused, and then tell her it was a joke and give her a slice
>after we finish eating the bill arrives, and thank fuck mum gave me an advance on my pocket money or else I would have ran out without paying
>she doesnt reach for the bill but I tell her not to worry because I have it covered
>she takes out 20 and gives it to me saying my mum gave it to her to give to me in case I forgot my money at home
>"haha dont worry I have my own money to pay for it" I tell her and let her keep the 20
cont. 2/?
>>27270776
>"you should have started as soon as it came, now its going to be below optimal temperature"
I've actually said something like that before. Seriously, if you're there to eat enjoy it.
>>27269626
Stop caring do what you want. If they don't like it fuck em not you're problem.
Or care and make you're self depressed i don't care you're call champ.
cont. 3/3
>after dinner we are walking around the shopping centre
>we walk past W H Smith, and tell her I read novels
>she asks which ones, but I reply with "cant really think of any in particular ones haha I read too many"
>no way im telling her they're japanese Light Novels
>start browsing some philosophical section of W H Smith to seem smart, she actually seems to like these and I consider buying one to look impressive
>I pick out "i am malaria" or something and she tells me she saw a film about it and its really good
>the inner alpha inside of me suddenly rises and I say I'll buy it for her, "my treat"
>she actually twirls her hair and says "alright"
>holy fuck I've never been so hard before
>no wonder guys buy girls things, their reaction is erotic as fuck
>we get to the till and I go up to pay for it
>tfw I dont have any money left after the restaurant
>tfw I turn around and ask Sally for the 20 pounds I told her she could keep earlier so I can pay for the book
>im literally having a heart attack as she looks a little embarrassed and upset
>after buying the book I've give it to her and say "th-thanks for that, s-sorry"
>she holds my hand and says "dont worry about it"
>Just lost my hand holding virginity, erect again.
>we walk back to her car and drive back to my place, I was so hyped I dont really remember what we spoke about on the way back
>once we get to my place, she tells me she had a great time and would like to see me again
>im speechless because she must be some serious autist to actually want to do that again but I stutter out "so would I"
>my mum calls us both to come in, sally stayed over a bit and talked to my mum whilst I got on my ds (mum made me leave it at home)
That was basically my first ever date, there was another one which was disturbingly worse, but I might tell you guys that one another time because im too tired right now
>only drink Sainsbury's brand choco milk
It's the only one worth buying
>>27271192
>>27271307
Looking forward to your next story lad.
>>27271307
Ah man Belgian double chocolate must taste good! My mum must be cheaping out on me, believe me when I say that she will hear my RRRREEEEEEEE
>>27271440
if you stick around I might post my second date story after I take a shit
>>27271192
>file under "things that didn't happen"
still made me laugh though cheers mate
27 female NEET here. You sound like a total autist. I know because I'm one too. Get yourself diagnosed and then claim ESA + PIP. You can even move out of your parents house and get a one room flat on housing benefit. Apply for WatersurePlus and the Warm Home Discount schemes to save money on your bills. At the end of the month I usually have 400 of bennies left over to spend on whatever I want
>>27271513
OF COURSE THIS AUTIST IS USING WINBLOWS DEN
>>27271565
i need to know what happens next
Nah u good, homie
OG commento pls
>>27271713
thanks that seems really helpful, I will look into those but the issue is that I'm still at uni at the moment, I do get some money from that but its going to be cut by at least half next year because student maintenance loans have been scrapped.
What you've said sounds like something I will definitely do once I finish though thanks again
>>27271821
>>27271856
I'll try write up the entire date first so I can post it all faster, keep it alive ;D
>>27269626
This has got to be fake. If it's true you legitimately have autism and should get tested.
>>27272364
Why get tested if you just gave him the ultimate diagnosis, retard?
>>27271192
There's no fucking way any of that happened. If you were even a little self aware about how retarded it all was than maybe it'd be a tad more believable, but with the way she was just cool with you being a cunt and spewing spaghetti the whole time, there's no way this happened.
Hey OP again,
so this was my second and final date with Sally
>of course I got my mum to call her mum to set us up on another date
>this time was different, I thought I could be my own man
>my mum was out shopping when Sally arrived
>she knocked on the door and I let her in as I got ready
>then I realised I could maybe sex her whilst my mum was out
>I stopped putting my shoes on and asked if we could have the date here
>she seemed happy to so I told her I had already made us dinner
>I hadn't.
>"that sounds great anon, what did you make?"
>shitshitshitshit
>"I-I made a few things so I cant tell you specifically", she seems to buy it...
>I tell her to sit on the sofa whilst I "prepare the best dish"
>Before I go to prepare an entire dinner I give her the remote and turn on Netflix
>"Y-you can watch netflix if you want... and chill haha", I wish my mum was here to help
>She lets out a mediocre laugh, I can feel the pity as I speedwalk into the kitchen
>Now that I've bought myself some time I check the fridge for any left overs
>some pasta and chicken in curry sauce (I never eat chicken with anything but choco milk so theres always left overs)
>That reminds me that theres always frozen nuggets in the freezer
>checkem.png
>only 3 left in the bag. Mum is currently out buying more
>I take them out with a couple of frozen yorkshire puddings and toss them in the halogen oven
>Now I have to stall Sally for 10 minutes as they heat up
>check on her, she's wathcing some show about clones or something so it seems fine for now
>I run upstairs to my room and grab a handfull of condoms from my mums drawer (she doesnt know I know theyre there)
part 1/3
>as I come back down Sally asks whats cooking and it smells good
>it just started cooking a few minutes ago so I doubt she can actually smell anything
>a weak attempt at a conversation but i'll bite...
>"haha i'm making a side of chill for your netflix!"
>takemylifesatan.mp4
>we are both looking at each other silently for about 10 seconds before I let out a weak groan and walk back in the kitchen
>I start banging my head against the fridge wishing for death
>Sally comes to the door and asks if everythings okay
>I quickly block the doorway so she cant see the tradgedy cooking up
>"s-sorry about that i-im really nervous" I say with 0% eye contact
>"aww its okay anon you dont need to be around me", shes standing arms length away and im diamond hard
>need an excuse to hide my python so I tell her that dinner will be ready soon
>a few minutes go by, the nuggets finish cooking so I chop them up into little pieces and put them in a bowl with tooth picks in them
>cut up the yorkshire puddings and mix them in with the pasta and chicken curry and microwave it all
At this point I want to say that I got some weird bravery from Sally telling me not to be nervous, as an excuse for whats to come.
>Tell her dinner is ready, split up the pasta curry mix onto two plates, and pour some choco milk into the nugget bowl and put them on the table
>ask her if she wants some wine, because why the fuck not
>she says sure and I pour us both a glass
>we sit down and she asks whats in the bowl
>"umm... you look very pretty sally", this better work again
>"oh thanks, you look nice too..."
>"DIG IN!", hopefully she'll just eat it and shut up
>we start eating and she stays away from the bowl of nugget chunks and choco milk, but I catch her 'mirin it
>"it's chicken nuggets and choco milk", I say proudly
part 2/3
>Sally doesnt say anything but her facial expressions tell me I fucked up.
>"um... I think its cute because they're nuggets, but with choco milk they become niggets, get it? because they get brown"
>her jaw drops as I tell her that, now shes just looking at me in shock and a hint of terror
>she gets up "anon, I've tried really hard, but I think this crosses the line, and its a shame to because you're really cute"
>okay maybe she didnt say that last bit about me being cute, probably too pissed to mention it
>she gets her jacket and walks to the entrance to put her shoes on
>"Sally wait I w-wanted you to be my first" as I stumble after her
>"ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE ANON?!", I flinch at this moment and realise what I just said
>"Im s-s-sorry Im just being nervous again haha y-you're really p-pretty Sally please"
>"Oh my god anon this is too much, I'm sorry it had to be like this but I'm not right for you" she says as she starts walking to her car
>I look down and realised I've spilled my pockets full of condoms onto the entrance floor
This was probably the lowest point in my entire life, I curled up on the floor and cried until my mum came home.
She had been called by Sally's mum and told everything about the evening, mum made me nuggets and I cried on her shoulder until I fell asleep
I think that my mum understands everything wrong with me and accepts it, I really want to be independant but I don't think i'm mentally capable right now.
I still see Sally sometimes because my mum takes me with her to her mums house, but I never make eye contact with her and I overheard her telling my mum she's seeing someone.
Just like most of us here I hope to find someone who will care for me as much as my mum does, and this was my story about the closest I got to that.
I feel that I should also mention that Sally is black, thanks to everyone for taking their time to read my story.
>>27273310
>I feel that I should also mention that Sally is black
you win the internet today anon
>>27273221
>>27273264
>>27273310
whew lad this is bad
10/10 greentext, even had the twist
>>27269626
>my mum still cuts my meat and my finger/toe nails
holy shit buddy. Looking past everything else do this shit for yourself. Okay?
>>27271307
>british milk
>>27274021
She mostly only cuts the hard meats, I don't cut my chicken nuggets though
>>27274136
It's the only milk worth buying.
>>27273310
>>27273264
>>27273221
Not bad, breddy good, I r8 5.5/8.
>>27273310
This is some military grade Autismo, good job!
10/10 would eat niglets again
>>27270776
>>27271192
>>27273221
>>27273264
>>27273310
For some reson I imagined you being Napoleon dynamite in my head as I read that story, aside from the haha parts, you fit the character perfectly. Kek
