>tfw you have to clean up after cumming
>tfw you have to hunt down every drop of cum on the floor so the cat doesn't lick it up
>>27263407
I don't shoot when I cum, it just dribbles out onto my hand. I just lick it off and pull my trunkies up again.
>tfw have been masturbating so much lately that my dick is sore now
fapping was one of the few things I still enjoyed, can't even do it now
>>27263407
This is probably the best benefit of sex
Bust inside and wala! magically gone and not my problem
>spilled bongwater on the carpet again
Ya made me chuckle mah boy!
>>27263450
>his sperm doesn't shoot all over the place from the pure force
weak af breh
>>27263428
Oh ffs mate
My dog fucking licked up my baby gravy when I left the room one time. It was sickened and embarrassed past all recognition
>>27263496
Wish I found something that could get me like that again. Its just routine for me now. Haven't shot and grunted in pleasure in at least a year now.
>>27263407
>tfw you're young and don't know you need to clean up so you've cum on the same spot of the carpet floor everyday for 2 years.
>tfw my carpet is completely molded in one spot.
>tfw everybody knows what it is but nobody talks to me about it.
>>27263477
>wala
I don't want to live on this planet any more
>shave pubes
>can wipe the cum straight off with a single tissue
Highly recommended
>>27263477
>wala!
m8....
>he doesn't cum into the inside of his underwear then wear it to sleep
I've been doing it for years, always cleaned up
>>27263482
>Get a whiff of my bongwater
>>27263407
Just eat it since you're here there a chance you're a closeted fag
>>27263561
>>27263546
Is this you first day on the 4chins lads
>>27263407
>have to
What the fuck are you talking about? Who's forcing you to clean up?
He doesn't just cum on his stomach, bed, and floor and let it dry
Get a load of this prissy faggot.
>>27263600
>I was only pretending to be retarded :^)
haha you got me you epic memer!
>>27263546
>>27263561
>taking shit seriously
Do you think I would ever actually say that irl
>>27263477
kuso beito desu
i just get onto my knees and jack off onto the same towel every time and then throw it across the room
>>27263535
Are you me? The side of my bed was covered with cumsicles, and a puddle of brown sludge on the floor when I was like 12-14. Pretty gross, but it was so nice to turn to the side and just let lose though.
>>27263428
>>27263526
fucking pathetic, why do you give any amount of a fuck? the dog/cat doesnt care one bit, it literally doesnt fucking matter
>>27263477
t. someone who never had sex.
sex is a lot more messy you stupid highschooler.
> tfw bored of fapping
> tfw avoid sexual urges
> tfw given up on sex or gf
i just dont care now desu, its a chore
>tfw have to clean your onahole thoroughly or you end up with mold on your dick
>tfw can no longer blast your load on your bare stomach and chest because you're hairy now and cleanup is a bitch
>all these insecure losers who dont just eat their own jizz
its so much easier to just catch most of it in my hand and then just slurp it up, its never even been a kinky thing for me, just got curious one day and quickly realized it was so convenient
>>27263683
Right, it was a figment of my imagination
The only mess for me is pussy juice/saliva on my dick
>>27263694
This.
Every few days I just wank for 1min in the morning and then go on through my daily neet routine of doing nothing.
>knees hurt from kneeling on the floor too long
>hard to get up, getting too old for this shit
>go take a shower and clean lube from butt hole
i just grab a tissue and wrap it around my benis when im about to cum, after that i just flush it in the toilet. no mess no hassle
>>27263771
>not watching the cumshot
What's the point then? That's the best part.
>>27263771
>not washing your sticky penisthat's hot
>fingering your ass whilst jerking off
>have to choose between using your cummy hand or your shitty hand to clean up
>>27263800
>fag detected
go suck a trap's cock
>>27263841
>trap
That's disgusting. I'd only do that with a regular, normal looking, non-gay guy.
>gets on hand
>too lazy to use a tissue so I just lick it off
>>27263907
yeah man! thats the thing to do! good for you bro
>he doesn't pinch his foreskin when he's about to come
>>27263800
that would be gay
>be teenager years ago
>start jerking off, use toilet tissue for cleanup
>eventually, people noticing tissue is used up much quicker than usual.
>now I just capture most of it in my hand, then wash my hands in the sink with soap.
no toilet paper usage and if you spill any, just spray a bit of bleach and dilute with some water onto the spot to prevent mould growth
>>27264102
>using tissues
>not just grabbing a convenient roll of TP to use
>>27263771
>flushing tissues
you aren't supposed to do that, anon. Use toilet paper
>>27263831
wtf eww
>>27263623
Why not? Is there something wrong with saying wala? How about tadaa?I'm serious, am I autistic or something?
>>27263471
>try to sleep after a day of fapping
>get boner
>it feels sore against the pillow
why
>not jizzing on your stomach and letting your shirt soak up the juice
I don't even care anymore.
>>27265126
It just sounds pretty gay imo
>>27265228
You're fapping too much!
>>27265260
People think I'm gay sometimes I guess I talk like a fag or something...Fuck idk
>>27265260
>>27265126
>>27263623
>>27263622
>>27263622
>>27263600
>>27263561
>>27263546
for fucks sake it's 'voila' it's french you dolts
Fap in the shower.
Get yourself warmed up beforehand if you find that difficult.
>>27265263
>exclamation marks
back to redit
>>27265315
We're not talking about string instruments you cheese eating surrender monkey
>>27263751
numb nothingness is comfy, i dont want to do anything, none of it is worth it
>uncut
>pinch closed foreskin and cum into it
>literally no mess
>>27265611
fucking THIS. but i eat it anyways
>just eat it bro!
I don't have the willpower once I ejaculate! All desire is gone and my body moves on its own to the bathroom!
>The head of my mutilated dick is so dry that it's purple instead of pink
>Masturbate
>Let my gland absorb the fluids
>It gets moisturized to pink again
>>27263407
>not jerking off into the toilet
>not masturbating into the toilet or in the shower
>>27265751
>>27265754
That's the cucky way. It's like your saying "my seed is so worthless it belongs in the toilet!"
>not masturbating out the window
>he can't reach his dick to his mouth to perform autofellatio and swallow his load to prevent any mess
it hurts my back but it's worth
I just cum all over myself and clean up with a towel. I wash the towel once a week so it doesn't get crusty.
>>27263407
I hate this. I like to jerk off in the middle of the night and it's always incredibly uncomfortable afterwards, but if I get up to go clean myself my dogs will think I'm an intruder and wake my parents
>>27265126
>>27265126
This pic gives me flashbacks
>>27265825
>tfw can't do autofellation
>>27265797
m8 it's going into the trash one way or the other might as well make less of mess
I just fling it on my walls
>>27263450
>>27263496
>>27263529
I'll do you one better, when I "cum" (it's mostly clear), it just oozes out of my dik, it's not even a lot either. Getting a pea sized amount of actual semen to come out is a lot for me. Then I go get a paper towel and put it between my dong and the underwear as a sort of "cum diaper" so my undergarments don't get stained. I do this because it will keep oozing out a little bit more clear not-cum for about several minutes afterwards unless I go to the bathroom after and squeeze the rest out, which most of the time I don't feel like doing. Not sure why my ejaculations are like this, but it is what it is. I still get the good tingly feeling upon climax so I'm satisfied.
>>27263768
what's the name of that comic again
>>27265447
That would be a viola, he say voila, ur wrong
>not cumming into the toilet
blows my mind that every time I cum and throw the tissue away that was a potential human.
>>27266120
Nasty mf, I hear you though I kind of do the same with my boogers though, I'll flick them in whatever direction.
>>27265844
This is disgusting and hot at the same time. I hope I'm not developing a cumrag fetish.
>>27263771
thought i was the only person that did this, good to know some smart people are out there
>>27265844
Having a designated cumrag is the best. I came into a random t-shirt for months before i moved out and left it under my bed, no fuss.
>come back for stuff, room has been cleaned out
>mom probably handled my crusty shirt
>wretch
But yeah, don't forget where you leave your filth.
>>27266363
>tfw all the sperm that could have been used to impregnate some prime teen pussy has gone to waste
>>27263407
>tfw you have to go back to the grill station after cumming
