>My mother is depressed
>I really don't want to postpone my suicide
Not even sure why i'm posting here,i guess it's the only place i can post this shit
Also, where can i buy i rope without looking suspicious at all?
I wanna do it asap desu,,i don't want to reconsider and watch my life become shittier and shittier. and hate myself more and more
I changed for the worst,too late to salvage shit. I don't know about you guys because we reallly don't come from the same place. It might sound pathetic,but i prefer to die than to live a mediocre senseless life.
This feeling is even stronger when you used to have a mediocre senseless life and then you tasted the start of a great life (By changing everything about yourself, habits,mindset,work-ethic,discipline...soo many fucking things,i was skyrocketing, so many great life opportunities i was gonna use 100%) then major health issue wrecks you like crazy for like a year,you reach the lowest fucking point of your life, you are now shittier than you used to be in the past. After 3 months, you're better overall but you're still 1/15th of what you used to be,you still stuggle to get your shit back together. The opportunities that were gonna lead to to a great life are now closed forever,these opportunities are the things that pushed you to change in the first place
You are now doomed to have a shitty life after tasting the start of a great life. No point in staying alive,you'll never get back what you used to have,you'll always think about it,you'll always compare what you became to what you used to be.it was already very hard to develop yourself that much when these great opportunities were still there. Now that they are gone, good fucking luck faggot.
>>27256886
It can always get better. Future you, who is happy and has achieved his goals will look back at this moment and be very grateful he is still alive.
Godspeed brave soul
>>27257063
That's the way i thought these past few weeks, But it's officially over now,
I was only getting A+'s and with "ease" . Now i struggle to get C's. As long as i don't get back what i used to have,i'm doomed to be mediocre, It's too late now. I just failed a class (I would have aced it in the past), i can't get in pharmschool, medschool, dental school, optometry school anymore. These were the only things that motivated me.
I really don't know wtf to do with my life anymore and whatever i choose,i'll be mediocre and i'll fail. I'm sure of that. I was already struggling to get my shit back together for my dream goals. Now? Lol something that barely motivates me,i'm doomed to stay shitty ,undisciplined with no idea of wtf i'm doing there. There's probably millions of people with the same feeling. But honnestly, i'd be able to handle it better if i had never tasted the start of a "great life"
I'm fucking mediocre right now. I used to be in the top 3 in my promotion, now i'm reallllllyyyyy shitty,
Tbh i should have taken a break at least this semester but my family forced me to keep going.
The ideal would have been to take a break as soon as my health issues started but i had no idea what it was and how long it would last.
Anyway,thanks for your hindsight. I can't really see how things can get better tho. I know myself, the only period of my life during the which i was truly happy was when i was syrocketing,i was finally becoming something i loved.
Anyway,thanks for the concern
>>27257313
You can apply to your university to have those failed credits taken off of your transcript. With your medical issues you would probably get approved easily.
Schools try to account for things like this.
>>27256886
Bare minimum: flip burgers and take care of your parents as they get old and die.
That's not hard. You can take pride that you at least did that, and didn't throw them to the wind for an easy out for yourself.
>>27257388
Why does he owe his parents anything?
>>27256886
>where can i buy i rope without looking suspicious at all?
wat
>>27257423
If you want to jew your parents when they're old and helpless, that's your decision. It's my decision to not respect that kind of thing.
>>27257388
my family already has enough money. Everyone (brothers and sister) are doctors.
>>27257377
It's more complicated than that, I was trying different treatments to treat different conditions (like cholinergic urticaria), some medics had some side effects that really wrecked me when mixed with others. It really wasn't clear tho, the symptoms were fucked up, te doc made me do a ct-scan to make sure i didnt have a brain tumor
Finally, i talked about some stuff in details with one of my bros in december (he's a doc), he figured out something my doc couldn't figure out. Changed medication (they were not really blamed at first,but at that moment we knew medication was a major cause.It's still weird to think about) and since then i don't have any health issue problem, no more problems with my cognitive functions (anticholinergics i guess)
But during that 1 year of living hell (thought i had some neurological disease), i fucking lost everything i had built
Anyway man, i wanna stay commited to this decision.Things won't get better,i'll hate myself more and more
>>27257470
You manage to be a cuck to the pussy without even fucking one
>>27257518
Also please note that me wanting to get im medschool doesn't have anything to do with my bros and sis being doctors
Tbh, i'd prefer to get in pharmschool.
Anyway, if i don't end it now. I'd probably become a nurse and end up hating it,unmotivated to do shit. Mediocre at everything,most likely gonna fail nursing school.
I'm not the same person anymore.
>>27257461
Can people get suspicious when you buy a rope? No idea,just asking
>Also, where can i buy i rope without looking suspicious at all?
Literally anywhere that sells rope
Ya know, I wanna sympathize with you, op, but this means one less rich asshole in the world, so I don't feel anything but joy. Buy your rope from walmart.
>tfw hiding thread and laughing
>>27257617
one less rich asshole?
You know that my family started poored as fuck?
Immigrate in canada, 5 children, no salary, my oldest bro was 13, i was 2.
He used to walk for hours with my mom to go to the church in order to get free food (bags of rice), they could not afford the bus.
Today he's a neurosurgeon and went to havard
You're really a shitty person.Don't want you to sympathize, Keep laughing
>>27257673
Why did you post a suicide thread on r9k and not expect shitty people?
