>liquid shits
at work taking a sloppy shit rn, shit burns too! i hope my coworkers don't smell it
>Constipated
>Just douche it out
>that clean feeling when
>>27255976
you shove things up your ass?
>>27255929
>McDonald's
King of liquid shits
>>27256026
Has anybody ever literally dided by drowning in spaghetti?
That would make me laugh
>>27256026
Ain't nothing wrong with cleaning out your ass mate.
Sometimes it's just good to do so.
>>27255929
I'm honestly surprised this post hasn't been taken by another anon. Good for you op, and I'm also sorry to hear about those shits
>>27255929
> Stone hard shits
>>27255929
Im pretty sure its an anxiety symtom
>>27255976
>tfw you just douched then
Feels clean bro
>>27256371
I cut my ass over a week ago because of a razor sharp shit that took over an hour to get out. It's driving me crazy because it cant heal properly when I have to expand my anus to shit twice every day
>>27256381
No, op is just a faggot that only eat mcdonald and drink orange juice.
>>27256771
1. Go to chemist
2. Buy tropical cream
3. ???
4. Heal?
5. If not go see doctor, trust me, I've been to the doctor for a few embarrassing issues and they don't say shit because all of them are older guys who have had it too
>like to eat hotwings
>even if I eat just a single hotwing next day is going to be anal inferno day
WHY
>Anal fissure
It's like shitting broken glass
>when you spend like 4 hours wiping
oregano
>>27256771
If it's an anal fissure and it sounds like one:
>Take regular Stiz (salt) baths after crapping
>Use wet wipes instead of tp
>See your doctor asap for an anti inflammatory gel or suppository
it won't heal until you take steps to help it, christ some chicks say it's worse than childbirth
>>27256863
>half a roll of toilet paper used against your, sweet soft butthole
>it hurts
>it burns
>still poop
>give up because your butt hurts
>go back to bed
>give up on the day
>>27256804
WRONG
it's apple juice
>>27257281
>>27256863
>Have a detachable shower-head.
>Point it at butt.
>Turn on water.
>Clean butt.
I don't know why it took me 20 years to figure this out.
>>27256371
>those stone hard shits that feel good pushing out, and only require a single wipe to clean
Literal godsends.
>>27257449
>used to live in a house that was blessed with a bidet
>would always enjoy going for a shit knowing I could wash my ass straight after.
>had to move out that house
>no bidet in new house
>eventually figure out to bend my ass over the bathtub and use the shower to wash my ass
>>27256771
lmao i used to have an anal fissure too and left it unattended. few months later i had full blown hemorrhoids and sometimes passed out during shitting because i was in so much pain. got surgery tho and now its all cool
>>27255929
>jagged shits that hurt your asshole on their way out.
>There's blood on the toilet paper when you wipe.
What am I doing wrong?
>>27255929
>be 14
>'experimenting'
>see a video of a girl shoving a bath tap up her asshole and giving herself a D.I.Y enema.
>Hot
>For some reason decide do that to self
>Shove (tubular) shower head up arse
>figure out I can shoot poop this way
>set up the metal laundry-bin lid against the bathroom wall as a target
>Fill er up
>get in position
>Geodude used rock throw!
>*CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG*
>It's super effective!
>'What are you doing in there, anon?'
>shit...
>>27258397
>hurt
being a faggot about it.
>>27255929
I legitimately believe that normies move around with shit stained anuses. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE, to have a 99% clean butt with JUST 2 or 3 wipes. which is why they have that "always shower before sex" meme... that, or i have a deformed anus.
>>27255929
>tfw not sure if shiting a small chunk of shit or colon is about to prolapse
>>27256815
You're a degenerate desu.
I have a big fat friend who does this with KFC - We never knew about it until his GF said it accidentally. She's pretty cool.
>>27255929
>be couple of weeks ago
>took a really hard shit and lots of blood
>next 15-20 poops also had a lot of blood with no pain
>too embarassed to go get myself checked out
>eventually stop pooping blood
My social anxiety is gonna get me killed one day
>>27258577
>or colon is about to prolapse
Has that happened to you?
